


sea of sand

by quartzrose



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Build, meanie focused but other pairings as well, side gyuhao - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2018-11-13 00:39:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 86,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11173380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartzrose/pseuds/quartzrose
Summary: Wonwoo settles back to the quaint, beachside town he once called home to take care of his aunt's cat while she's away for the summer. Expecting three months tucked inside an apartment with a book in hand, Wonwoo finds himself getting a lot more than he bargained for. He isn't complaining, how could he in a setting so picturesque, so calm, and Soonyoung's mob of spontaneous, lively friends? It's the recipe for a perfect summer. That is, until he meets Kim Mingyu.





	1. preface

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is--that summer fic that was spurred on after living by the beach for an entire year at college (amongst drawing from other inspirations as well). You get the gist, Mingyu and Wonwoo, long summer nights, boys having fun, etc etc. Hope this isn't too cliche, but it's hard to avoid every now and then. Places named in this story are completely made up, I have no affiliation nor do the boys (at least I don't think lol). Boys are loosely reflected on their personalities irl, but, of course, for the sake of drama and the story, things gotta change here and there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo arrives in town and catches up with his old childhood friend Soonyoung, who just so happens to have a list of things he'd like to do before summer comes to an end.

“Let’s gooooo,” Soonyoung hastily rushes Wonwoo into the car, “it’s your first day back and the beginning of summer, we have to do something!”

Wonwoo closes his paperback book (not before folding the corner of the page he left off on as a makeshift bookmark) and drops it on the couch as he's being dragged out the door of his aunt’s house.

Jeon Wonwoo had arrived about thirty minutes ago from a six hour bus ride. Mind you, he had to wake up for said bus ride at 5am, and he wasn’t much of a morning person so that whole process was unbearable for him. And now this. Albeit Soonyoung being slightly more bearable than that.

He had come from the city to stay at his aunt’s and watch over her cat while she was traveling abroad for summer. “You must come stay at my apartment and watch over Mochi while I go to Europe this summer. I can’t imagine him with anyone else for the 3 months I’m gone!” Which is pretty much all it took for Wonwoo, say no more and he was in. First of all, cats were his definite weakness, especially those as soft as he recalls Mochi was. Second, his aunt’s apartment was situated in a quaint seaside town miles and miles away from the city, and after a vigorous last year in university, he definitely needed something quiet. Third, he had lived most of childhood in said town and missed it terribly. His parents raised him here up until high school, where they moved inland when his dad had gotten a new job offer. Soonyoung kept begging him to come and visit ever since he left for high school, but life got in the way and never made it possible. But here he was, nearly eight years later.

A wave of nostalgia rushed over him once he arrived. When he pulled up on the parking lot Soonyoung was already standing there with an unnecessary (“Totally necessary!” Soonyoung countered with a frown) sign that said “Welcome home Wonwoo!”. Despite never admitting it, he found the gesture a warm welcoming and didn’t expect anything less from Soonyoung. Not that it was much, it was just very Soonyoung. Plus it made him smile.

The air smells like beach breeze and sea salt, just as he remembered it. It's all so refreshing, and Wonwoo feels like it suits him much more than the city. It feels so wonderfully disconnected from the rest of the world, just what Wonwoo sought for the summer. He stands outside the apartment and takes it all in, bathing in the warm embrace of the sun. From here he could see the glistening blue sea from the distance and feels the draft of the ocean lightly ruffle his hair and clothes in a calming manner. It really does feel like home, like coming home after a very long day (except it’s been years technically) and seeing your family. It was inviting and frankly, it felt like something straight out a movie.

He had time to drop his bags off in the living room and pet Mochi for a bit (whom was definitely as soft as he remembered) before Soonyoung began to usher him out to, as he put it, “begin this long waited summer adventure”. Had it been any other person, Wonwoo would’ve minded, but it was Soonyoung, and he hadn’t seen him since pre-puberty days so he let it be.

“Wonwoo.”

Soonyoung snaps him out of his daze, the raven haired boy opes his eyes he didn’t realize he closed and found the latter all up in his face looking confused as hell.

“Sorry, were you saying something?”

Wonwoo’s aloofness doesn't seem to bother Soonyoung. Although being separated for almost a decade, he still knew his best friend down to a T. Neither of them have changed much after all.

Wonwoo had met Soonyoung back in elementary school. The boy had approached him with two hands full of toys and asked him if he wanted to play, and it began at that. Pretty simple really, but not many kids enjoyed the quietness of Wonwoo and on the contrary, not many kids enjoyed that Soonyoung at a mere five years old could talk his ass off. Fortunately for them, their dynamic worked perfectly. It was pretty much fate, at least that’s what Soonyoung calls it, and since then they’ve been best friends.

“I was saying that you should meet some of the guys I’ve been telling you about. You know? Like Jihoon and—“

“Your boyfriend, right?”

“Well, we’re not exactly boyfriends yet, but I mean…” he steps into the driver’s seat of his old cream-tinted truck and lets his sentence fade away with a giggle. Wonwoo rolls his eyes, though a smile present on his face. He tells Soonyoung he’d love to meet his friends, but maybe once he’s less sleepy and with nicer clothes on. Soonyoung argues that his clothes are fine, but by the end of it they settled on meeting the whole gang tomorrow for dinner. In the mean time, they plan on getting brunch at some place Soonyoung said was “to die for”.

“Dude, it’s been a while,” Soonyoung looks over to his friend, his grin widening the longer he stares at Wonwoo, who is preoccupied with putting his seatbelt on.

“You said that earlier already. And you saw me for graduation a couple weeks ago. And keep your eyes on the road, idiot.”

Soonyoung immediately faces the road. “I know! But still! I’m so happy you’re here this summer. We’ve got a lot to do.”

“I’m guessing you made a bucket list.”

“I did make a bucket list Jeon Wonwoo and I intend on meeting every single item on that list by the end of the summer.”

Wonwoo is not even the slightest bit surprised.

“Oh yeah?” He rolls his window down to breathe in more of that ocean scent, “like what?”

“Liiiike, bonfires and shit at night.”

“Uh huh,” Wonwoo beckons him to continue as he stares out the window to familiarize himself with his old home town. He’s not exactly sure what “and shit” entails, but he doesn't wanna pester Soonyoung about it. They pass by a convenience store he remembers frequently stopping by for some popsicles back in grade 4. He’s pretty sure the owner’s daughter of the place had a crush on him back then. He makes a mental note to add a visit to the shop to Soonyoung’s bucket list.

“And there’s a summer fair thing we do around late June, mid July. It’s recent, just started about five years ago. It’s small, probably nothing compared to what you have in the city, but it’s a lot of fun. The ferris wheel is the best part, you’ll love it.”

The thought of it already warms Wonwoo’s heart. He nods his head, although Soonyoung is probably too busy driving to catch sight of it.

“Beach parties. Dude, lots of beach parties. It’ll be fun. Not like anything too crazy, although we can make ‘em crazy if you want,” Soonyoung laughs out loud at that and continues, “but one of my buddies Jun has an apartment that sits right on the beach. It’s literally his backyard, can you believe that!? It’s like… hey, Wonwoo, are you listening?”

“Yes Soonyoung, beach parties. Jun. I’m listening.”

“Yeah, Jun is super cool, I think you’ll like him a lot. And, let’s see, boat riding.”

Soonyoung continues to list off a bunch of activities, stressing that each one had significance in making this his best summer ever, and Wonwoo simply nods at each one. They each sound like immense amounts of fun, some more than others, but he always has fun with Soonyoung so he knew nevertheless it’d be great. Until, that is, it daws upon him that three months isn't really that much time to do what seemed like everything in the world and suddenly Wonwoo's quite sad over the fact that by the end of the summer, he has to leave. 

“And then we’re gonna get you a summer fling!”

Wait, what?

Wonwoo’s dilemma lasts for about a minute until he realizes the words that came out Soonyoung’s mouth.

“Wait, what?” He says, aloud this time, “what do you mean a summer fling?”

“C'mon dude, it's summer! Do you not want a little bit of action while you’re here?” Soonyoung parks his car outside a restaurant called Bread and Butter and takes his keys out the ignition.

“'A little bit of action'?" Wonwoo repeats after his friend, his eyebrow raised and his lips curling

“I’m just saying! While you’re here it might be nice.”

“Ugh, look at you. You’ve gotten a boyfriend and suddenly you wanna infect me with the same disease.”

The other boy’s cheeks flushes a rosy color, “I told you we’re not dating yet!”

“Yet.”

Wonwoo hops out the car, to which Soonyoung proceeds shortly after him. He throws his left arm over his friend’s shoulder for a sorta hug and nuzzles his head into Wonwoo’s linen button up.

“I’ve missed you so much Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo fondly smiles down at him, “Missed you too man.”

The bell above the door chimes once they open it and step inside. The aroma of coffee and pancakes is heavy, hitting Wonwoo like a brick, but in a pleasant way. On top of that, the volume of chatter alluded to a rather busy hour. In fact, it almost looks like there aren't any tables available for two. There's even a couple families with their impatient, whiny children lingering by the entrance; Wonwoo assumes they were waiting for spots to open up.

“We could eat somewhere else?” Wonwoo suggests the second they notice how packed it is.

“No, no. Don’t worry, I got this.”

Wonwoo scoffs at Soonyoung’s overconfidence, but lets the other man handle it. They walk up to the front desk, where a young, handsome man is organizing the menus.

“Seungcheol!” Soonyoung greets the man, “how’s it going?”

The young man looks up to the two of them and breaks out in a friendly smile. The two then share a very bro handshake.

“Hey Soonyoung! It’s going well, just the usual. Do you want your regular table?”

Wonwoo lifts an eyebrow, certainly impressed since clearly Soonyoung indeed “got this”.

“Yeah, that’d be great! Thanks man, we’re starving!”

“No problem, just follow me,” he snatches two laminated menus and leads the way.

“Dude,” Wonwoo whispers to Soonyoung, who simply smirks back at his friend.

“So you must be Wonwoo?” The man named Seungcheol addresses him. When Wonwoo’s face displays a look of confusion, Seungcheol explains, “literally Soonyoung talks so much about you.”

“Ah. Yeah, that’s me. He hasn’t said anything embarrassing right?” He looks over at his bubbly friend and shoots him a glare, to which he responds with throwing his hands up in defense.

“Wonwoo you know I would never do that you!”

Seungcheol amidst his crackle of laughter says, “Nah, only good things man. I’m Seungcheol, it’s nice to finally meet you! All the guys are excited to have you for the summer.”

“Likewise,” he gives a small smile to the man who couldn’t be much older than him. Seungcheol directes them to a booth in the back of the restaurant, where both boys slid in on opposite sides. The window to the left showcases an amazing view of the sparkly sea. 

“I’ll come back with some lemonades in a few,” he says before scurrying away to presumably the back of the kitchen.

“His parents owns the place. Ever since Seungcheol graduated though he’s been slowly taking it over. He hooks it up every time and the food is delicious,” Soonyoung explains to Wonwoo, “I know you said you didn’t wanna meet anyone yet but I had to take you here!”

“It’s fine, he seems cool,” Wonwoo murmurs as his eyes scan through the menu. It's a small menu, the breakfast and lunch entrees fit up one whole page, with drinks on the back. He prefers menus like this though, makes it easier to decide on something.

“I usually get the grilled cheese benedict, but I hear the breakfast burger is pretty good too!” Soonyoung begins to ramble on about the food and throws around some names he’s sure he’s heard once or twice before, and what they like to order. Wonwoo listens to him talk. He’s missed this. Truly nothing’s changed since they were kids, Wonwoo always listened to Soonyoung as he went on and on and on. And sometimes they’d bicker out of sheer fun and mockery and end up laughing over it. Actually, scratch that, most of the time they’d bicker out of sheer fun and mockery and end up laughing over it.

“… and yeah! So have you decided what you wanted?” Soonyoung asks, setting the menu down to meet his friend’s gaze.

“I’m just gonna go with the breakfast burger.”

Seungcheol returns with two tall glasses of lemonade in a tray and before he even has a chance to set it on the table, Soonyoung reaches for the drink and begins hurriedly sipping from the straw. He's drinking so fast at this point Wonwoo thinks it'd be more effective if he didn’t use the straw at all. The man laughs, shaking his head, and set the other glass in front of Wonwoo before pulling a notepad out of his apron pocket.

“So, another lemonade and the usual grilled cheese benedict for you Soonyoung?” He doesn't even watch Soonyoung nod his head enthusiastically, just scribbles it on the pad, and then looks to Wonwoo, “and for you?”

“I’ll get the breakfast burger,” Wonwoo tells him as he handed both the menus, “thanks.”

“Good choice,” he flips his notepad shut, “alright boys, be back soon!” And their waiter is off again to relay their orders to the chef.

“Man, this place is really packed today,” Soonyoung notes, looking amongst the crowd of people. He turns to face Wonwoo again, “so, tell me what’s been going on? We have a lot to catch up.”

Wonwoo's swirling the straw around his drink, trying to think of where to even start. Sure, he and Soonyoung FaceTimed every now and then when they had enough free time to do so, so on the surface, Soonyoung essentially knows everything. But being separated from each other for eight years… it's difficult for Wonwoo to sift through the important things.

“Well I’ve graduated.”

“Right.”

“And I don’t really know what I plan to do. What can you really do with a Literature major? … You don’t really have to answer that. I mean, I’m sure I’ll figure it out at some point. I just thought, I dunno, maybe coming back here would give me some different perspective on life and my future.”

Soonyoung nods his head. This is how it is every time. Soonyoung could surely ramble on for days end, but every time Wonwoo had something to say he wouldn't dare interrupt.

“And I can’t tell if my parents are upset that I don’t have my shit figured out or not. I think they are, they’re just too nice to say anything about it,” he stops swirling the straw in drink and looks up at Soonyoung, “So there’s that. But anyway, overall, university was fun. Stressful as hell, as you know,” (Soonyoung nods his head again), “but it was fun. It would’ve been better if we went through it together.”

His friend gives him a soft smile and pats Wonwoo’s hand, then just let it sit on top of the others hand.

“And yeah, I guess my love life was... well shit. As you know. ”

Soonyoung clears his throat, as if asking for permission to interrupt. Wonwoo lets him.

“Hey, I’m really sorry about that Wonwoo. I know you’re over the guy now and everything but you can’t let that get in the way of like, loving someone ever again. You could be missing out, you know?”

Wonwoo pulls his hand away from underneath Soonyoung’s and runs it through his dark hair.

“I know. It’s just hard.”

“Let yourself try first.”

They're quiet for a while after that, Soonyoung staring at Wonwoo as he looks down at this fingers. The silence seems to heighten the level of noise emitted from everyone and everything else around the room. Wonwoo opens his mouth to say something, but the other beats him to it.

“I’m not gonna force you to do something you don’t wanna do, alright? I’m just saying, it’s worth a shot.”

And they leave it at that. Wonwoo continues to talk about his life, how his family is doing, some trips he’s taken here and there, the parties he’s been to, etc. Soonyoung quietly listens to it all, the only interruption made was when the food arrived.

“Here you go boys,” Seungcheol announces once he arrives with two delicious looking plates in hand, plus Soonyoung’s second lemonade. Wonwoo could just smell the food and knew he was in love. “It’s on the house by the way—“

Wonwoo and Soonyoung simultaneously began to complain that he doesn't need to do that, but Seungcheol insists on it anyway, demanding it be a treat for both boys for graduating from university.

“Enjoy your food! Soonyoung I got your text in the group chat that we’re doing dinner tomorrow night with the boys? So I’ll see you both then?"

Both boys nod, and Seungcheol leaves them to it, but not before ruffling Soonyoung’s hair. Wonwoo decides he likes the man already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't specify the name of the town or anything, just because i didn't wanna limit it to one specific place. you can imagine it to be anywhere you want! for me, i imagine it looking very much like the picturesque towns in studio ghibli movies, where everyone seems to know each other haha.


	2. dinner is served

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo meets the boys.

After brunch (which was indeed “to die for”), Soonyoung took Wonwoo downtown and they walked around for bit. He showed him all his favorite spots, like which cafes he frequented during his time in uni when he was cramming for exams, the bakery he claimed ate up his entire bank account last summer, amongst many other nooks and crannies surrounding the area. They got some ice cream—vanilla for Soonyoung, strawberry for Wonwoo—as they walked along the narrow cobble stoned streets and gazed around the place they grew up. Soonyoung says a lot of “hey, remember when we…” followed by memories he grins at, and others he wishes to forget and curses Soonyoung for bringing them up. Like Wonwoo accidentally calling their teacher mom one year. Soonyoung wouldn’t let him live it down for months, but it looks like he won’t let him live it down for as long as their alive and together.

The town hasn’t changed significantly since he’s been gone, Wonwoo could still point out certain shops and restaurants, but it sure has expanded and remodeled. Soonyoung suggested driving by their elementary school for old times sake, but Wonwoo didn’t wanna dive straight into that just yet. Maybe some other time. 

Soon enough, it wasn’t long before it was getting close to dinner time, and Soonyoung had work around then (helping his dad around their BBQ restaurant) and Wonwoo had yet to feed Mochi. So Soonyoung dropped him off, and they bid their goodbyes with plans to see each other the following day. 

When Wonwoo stepped into his aunt’s apartment, he let out an audible sigh. It’s definitely been a long day, he was ready to light some candles and curl up into bed. He decided that he could leave unpacking for tomorrow morning when he was more rejuvenated and hopefully had caffeine in his system. His arms stretched outward and a yawn escaped his lips. Mochi was sitting in the corner of the room staring right up at him, her food tray and milk bowl empty beside her. 

“Sorry girl,” Wonwoo mumbled to her, going over to the pantry in the kitchen where his aunt said she kept all the cat food. He grabbed the first thing he saw, some canned chicken for cats of some sort and then went to fetch some milk in the fridge. 

Once Mochi had her dinner out for her and the kettle on to make some tea, Wonwoo walked out to the balcony. The air was crisp and warm, the sun beginning to come down and paint a nice orange-y yellow color in the sky. The faint sound of the waves crashing against each other could be heard, just barely, but still there. Louder were the sounds of kids laughing and shouting down the street, probably engaging in something mischievous as Wonwoo remembers he and Soonyoung did at that age. He smiles. Mochi purrs, weaving her way between Wonwoo’s feet and he lets her stay there. It’s all very peaceful and it feels like some sort of utopia where suddenly all problems are thrown out the window and he can just relax and take a breath.

Except Wonwoo tries not to dwell over his impeding departure at the end of the summer. Typical him, mulling over ends instead of beginnings. He’s just only arrived after all, he should spend his time enjoying it rather than worrying.Worrying was for three months time. For now…

“Come on Mochi,” he headed back inside the apartment once the kettle began to whistle. He left the French doors of the balcony open to bring in the nice draft to the room. Nothing a good book (William Shakespeare, to be exact. He’s grown rather fond of Shakespeare’s tragedies during his time in university, one of the main reasons he decided to earn his degree in literature) and tea couldn’t take his mind off. 

**

As Wonwoo climbs into bed that night, his feet and mind exhausted from all that walking during the day, he stares out the window into the moonlight. The quiet, tranquil setting begins to lull him to sleep in no time. It wasn’t like this back in the city, where he’d always hear the hustle and bustle up until 2am. Drunkards shouting, cars honking. But here, the only sound was that of the crickets outside and again, the waves, softly meeting the shore. Wonwoo begins to close his eyes, sleep taking over him. That is, until…

_“Hey, let’s be friends.”_

A young boy’s voice rings in his head, coincidentally the same voice he was also hit with upon driving into town. He shook it off immediately, not wanting to be reminded. 

_“Come on, I don’t bite.”_

His voice comes to him again. This time he almost smacks himself in the head to get over it. Except he can’t, the face that comes with the voice pops into mind and he groans. 

The thing is, when Wonwoo was probably about six or seven years old, there was a family who moved into a house down the block from where he lived. And they had a son, one a year younger than Wonwoo. And, well, It’s not that he did anything particularly wrong to Wonwoo. Wonwoo just didn’t like him. 

But for whatever reason, he really, really wanted to be friends with Wonwoo.

It probably wasn’t for any special reason, he just needed friends to play with since he was new in town, and not many kids their age lived in the neighborhood they were from. He was fine at first, Wonwoo remembered. The summer he moved in happened to be the summer Soonyoung went away to see extended family, giving Wonwoo reason to try hanging out with this new kid. They went down to the creek and caught frogs the first time they hung out, getting mud all over their shoes and exposed skin. Wonwoo recalls the boy accidentally scraping his knee at some point. It was a fun day. But then, every time they hung out after that, Wonwoo began to find the boy annoying. He constantly wanted to hang out, and got upset every time Wonwoo mentioned Soonyoung in front of him. Just that alone gave six year old Wonwoo enough reason to not like him. 

And now his voice keeps haunting him. He can’t even remember the name to the face and voice, unfortunately, but of course that’s just how the universe works.

Anyway it doesn’t matter, the boy and his family moved out of the town almost as soon as they moved in, and Wonwoo was free from the boy’s persistent disturbance to his youth. So it especially irritates Wonwoo that his damn voice keeps interrupting his sleep because the boy was gone from his life. That fact seems to calm him down back into his sleepy state, and he pushes away that biting feeling in the back of his head.

**

Just based off of all the information Soonyoung’s been spitting out at him, it almost feels like Wonwoo is about to meet an entire dynasty. The names come as no surprise really, Soonyoung’s been talking about these guys since the beginning of university, and even some since high school. He’s even stalked a couple of them on Facebook out of curiousity, but still. It’s a lot. Especially when Soonyoung keeps speaking so highly of them, and now he really feels like he can’t fuck up. 

“Don’t worry Wonwoo, I know they’ll like you!” Soonyoung reassures him as if he’s read his mind. They’ve gotten to that point of their friendship where it almost feels like he really can read his mind sometimes. 

Wonwoo looks down at what he’s wearing. He didn’t want to make a bad impression of himself so he opted for something nice, but not too nice, since he was informed it was a rather casual event. He wore a black and white pin-striped button up top and some black jeans and black boots. Soonyoung, on the other hand, simply wore a tee and jeans paired with some Adidas sneakers. When Wonwoo began to feel overdressed, Soonyoung waved it off with a laugh and nothing more. 

They were currently outside a small bungalow that sat right near the beach, which was on the opposite end of the town from where Wonwoo was staying at. The sea salt air felt nicer here, and the waves he heard at night were louder as well. Not as loud, however, as the sounds of many, many voices coming from inside, and it’s not even like they were standing all too close. They were just _that_ loud. Every noise around them became background noise in comparison. None of what they were saying was indistinguishable to Wonwoo, however, just a whole mesh of shouts and laughter. 

“Just remember, the short one—and _don’t_ point out how short he is unless you want him to kill me— is Jihoon. You’ll know him when you see him!” Soonyoung tugged on his arm and trudged him along to the front porch. Wonwoo’s seen pictures of Jihoon before, Soonyoung never fails to send any new selfie of them together. He never seems all that pleased in the selfies, but that’s probably due to Soonyoung presumably catching a moment where he’s particularly busy, or just not in the mood. He’s seen one, where’s he’s got an endeared look plastered his face as he’s looking at Soonyoung, and that’s all the convincing it really took for Wonwoo. He briefly wonders when they’re going to seal the deal, since they’ve been “talking” for months now. 

Before either boy had a chance to knock or ring the doorbell, it was voraciously swung open by a young man with a bright smile. His hair is a little disheveled and his shirt not tucked properly. 

“Soonyoung! This must be Wonwoo, it’s nice to finally meet you!” The man held his hand out for a handshake. Wonwoo shook his hand and returned the smile. 

“I’m Seokmin. This is my place, feel free to make yourself at home. Sorry I’m such a mess, we’ve been cooking and cleaning since like 12. Oh! We’ve got beer on the table. Do you drink?”

Wonwoo is a bit overwhelmed with how enthusiastic the man is, he kind of reminds him of Soonyoung. 

“Yeah, I’ll have a beer. Thanks man,” he responds, his eyes wandering around the place once they’re in. It was cozy, a little tiny, but cozy. Every space in the room seemed to be filled up with miscellaneous decorations and knick-knacks, but it wasn’t too cluttered or messy. In fact, the only cluttered part of the place was the however many pairs of shoes that nearly blocked the entrance to the front door. Wonwoo was too lazy to count, just added his to the pile and followed behind the two boys. 

All the noise was coming from the kitchen, where they were also headed. There seemed to be five conversations going on at once, how could one person even keep up? Wonwoo began to feel a little nervous, the thoughts of a whole dynasty in there disrupting his typically calm demeanor. When they stepped into the kitchen, a chorus of hello’s and hey’s filled the room, and Wonwoo was met with so many faces. So many handsome faces all dressed in summer colors and meeting him with friendly smiles. He suddenly began to feel out of place, for some reason. 

“Shit,” he muttered, trying to decide where to look. He noticed that thankfully there were a few others dressed as fancy-casual as him, though others apparel looked closer to Soonyoung’s. He felt a palm meet his lower back, and turned to see his friend smiling at him. 

“Everyone, this is Wonwoo!” He announced, “let’s not crowd around him, you’ll all get a chance to talk to him at some point tonight.”

Wonwoo rolled his eyes at his friend’s comment, but waved at everyone with a smile.

“It’s nice to meet everyone,” he said softly, still nervous, and they all cheered in agreement. 

“Let’s eat!” Soonyoung declared excitedly, and ran towards the food. Seungcheol, whom Wonwoo recognized from yesterday, grabbed the back of Soonyoung’s shirt to stop him. Wonwooo snorted. 

“We can’t yet,” he told him, enjoying the way Soonyoung’s smile turned into a frown, “Mingyu isn’t here yet.”

“I dunno Seungcheol, Mingyu texted and said to start without him,” another boy said, holding his iPhone out as proof.

“Wait, how did you even make all this without Mingyu?” Soonyoung asked, flattening his tee after Seungcheol let go of it. 

“Real funny Soonyoung, we can cook just fine too you know,” some other boy remarked, but most of them snickered at that. 

Wonwoo watched as everyone began to fall back into their smaller group conversations amongst each other and realized he was now standing there alone, sticking out like a sore thumb. When he turned to talk to Soonyoung, he found his friend already gravitating to who he assumed to be Jihoon. It had to be him—short, blonde hair, gazes at Soonyoung with heart eyes but manages to also look like he’s irritated at him within .02 seconds. If it weren’t for Seokmin shoving a cold beer in front of him, he probably would’ve been caught staring at them. He thanked the man, saying a cheers before taking one big gulp. When he put the drink down, he was met with another face next to Seokmin.

“Hi, I’m Seungkwan. Soonyoung is always talking about you, for a while I didn’t even think you were real.”

Wonwoo distinctly remembers Soonyoung mentioning Seungkwan. He was one of the younger ones, very outspoken and brazen. He chuckled at his statement. “Well I’m here, in the flesh. It’s nice to meet you.” 

Seungkwan, he soon found out, could also talk up a storm. Especially with Seokmin by his side. The two of them began to tell all kinds of antics they and Soonyoung would get into. It was fun listening to it all, he ignored the tinge of jealousy he felt that they all attended school together and made all sorts of memories since he genuinely liked them. It wasn’t until the fourth tale, the one of them sneaking alcohol into Seungkwan’s dorm when another boy decided to join them. 

“Hi, I’m Jeonghan. I hope these guys aren’t giving you too much trouble,” the young man said, pushing his round glasses up his face. He was about Wonwoo’s height, with blond locks that fell a little past his eyes and a warm smile. 

Seungkwan scoffed, “If anything that’d be you Jeonghan.”

“Don’t put a bad first impression of me in the guy’s head,” Jeonghan jokingly scorned Seungkwan before turning to Wonwoo himself, “he’s just saying things, I’m an angel. Soonyoung told me you graduated a couple weeks ago. It must be nice to finally be done with school, right?”

Wonwoo nodded his head, “Just a matter of what to do next I guess.”

“Ugh, good thing I have another year to sort that out,” Seokmin groaned, then proceeded to down his beer.

“Two for me, suckers,” Seungkwan teased.

“Well enjoy it while you can,” Wonwoo advised the two of them, “next thing you know you’ve graduated with no plans for your future and don’t know what to do with your life and you’re stuck in a rut trying to figure out what you’re going to do to make your parents pleased with you, because they definitely didn’t waste their money sending you to college.”

The three of them stared back at him, and Wonwoo felt like he probably shared a bit too much information and thus scared them. It'd only be a matter of seconds before they begin to slowly back away from the man. Before he had the chance to save himself by apologizing, Jeonghan gave him a comforting pat in the back.

“Hey don’t worry about it man. You’ll figure it out,” he assured him.

“Yeah, no rush, you’re still young anyway!” Seokmin followed after him, and Seungkwan nodded his head in agreement. 

It was enough to ease his worries away for a while, which Wonwoo appreciated significantly. Soonyoung chose a good lot of friends, he’s concluded. 

“So,” Seungkwan diverted topics into safer territory, “are we eating or no?”

“Hey, Cheol!” Jeonghan called out to Seungcheol, who was midway into starting another beer, “what’s the plan, do we wait for Mingyu or…?”

“Yeah, some of us are starving over here,” a boy with dusty blonde hair complained, clutching on to his stomach for dramatic extra measure. 

“Minghao?” Seungcheol looked back to the boy who had told everyone this guy Mingyu told them to start without him. 

“Uhhh,” he was hurriedly typing on his phone, “I’m texting him right now. He said that he’ll be here in like…uh… he’ll be here soon.”

“Let’s all just sit down at the table while we wait,” the dusty blonde-haired boy spoke again, jumping into the seat right in front of him.

The table didn’t look like it could even fit everyone, so Wonwoo wondered how this was going to work. It began to fill up quickly, until there was one seat left between Soonyoung and an unnamed man. 

“Come on Wonwoo, sit here,” he patted the velvet-cushioned seat down. Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and two other guys he had yet to meet were bringing more chairs in to squeeze at the table. It was a tight fit, but it worked. 

“The food is going to get cold,” Seungkwan pouted, leaning his head on Dusty Blonde Haired Boy’s shoulders. 

They certainly had cooked up an entire meal. It almost looked like dinner in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. They each went around pouring some red wine ( _how classy_ , Wonwoo thought) in their glasses, and by the time Wonwoo got the bottle it was nearly empty. No one began diving into the food just yet, although it smelt way too good for it to be ignored, but they were munching on pieces of cut sourdough bread, or sipping their wine. 

Everyone talked amongst each other in the mean time, and Wonwoo was finding everyone quite enjoyable. They differed, for example, Minghao, Wonwoo noticed, was sharper with his tongue when he spoke (though he didn’t that often) and quick-witted, in comparison to Vernon (Dusty Blonde Haired Boy) who seemed very chill and relaxed, yet whiny for food, the entire time. He also took note that he and Seungkwan seemed to be very close, he would implore about that later with Soonyoung. Joshua was very quiet, exchanging words only every now and then, but mostly with Jeonghan and Seungcheol. Chan was the youngest, he explained how he met Soonyoung in a dance club in college and from there was introduced to everyone. Soonyoung, as always, laughed at all Wonwoo’s jokes, and so did Seungcheol and Seokmin. The other boys might’ve as well, it’s just they were in his line of vision so he caught them when they chuckled at his puns. Jun, the one sitting next to him, began talking to him about sailing. He was the one renting the apartment right on the beach, and let Wonwoo know he was welcome to come out on the dock with him and learn to sail. Wonwoo didn’t think it would really be his forte, but Jun was charming and Wonwoo liked his generosity. He stuck talking to him the most, since he didn’t wanna pull Soonyoung away from Jihoon, and found the conversation flowing much easily than he expected. 

The night was going swell, Wonwoo felt comfortable being among Soonyoung’s friends, and was glad to finally make acquaintances with them. He was getting a good feeling about how this summer was going to play out. It was around 7:15 when the front door opened, and a voice was heard. 

“Sorry I’m late!”

“That must be Mingyu,” Soonyoung said, and all the boys proceeded to scoot their chairs to make more room for their thirteenth guest. 

“Hurry, we wanna eat,” Vernon called out to him, already grabbing his spoon and fork like a little boy. 

“Sorry, sorry,” the boy named Mingyu scurried into the kitchen, holding a cake in his hands, “I got caught up at work.”

Most of the boys were still engaged in conversation when the young man walked into the room, but Wonwoo is instantly left in a stunned stupor when his eyes fall onto Mingyu, who is still explaining his excuse for hit tardiness to dinner. 

_“Hey, let’s be friends!”_

It’s him.

_Holy shit, it’s him_ Wonwoo begins to freak out internally, hoping no one can detect his emotional distress right now. His heart that momentarily froze the second Mingyu walked into the kitchen/dining area is beating again, except this time much faster than it’s been the entire night. The grip on his wine glass loosens a bit, and Jun catches it from nearly falling onto the floor. 

“You alright?” Jun asks, taking the glass and setting it down in front of him.

_ "My name is Mingyu. Kim Mingyu." _

Wonwoo doesn’t seem to hear Jun, or if he does, he doesn’t respond. It all starts to click in his head, and it's nearly driving him insane the longer he thinks about it. His wide eyes are still on Mingyu as he watches him set the cake on the granite countertop and take a seat between Chan and Minghao. Mingyu doesn’t seem to notice him, just messes with Chan’s hair before popping open another wine bottle handed to him by Minghao (white this time) and pouring himself a full glass. The only thing in Wonwoo’s mind right now is an image of a young boy, a young _Mingyu_ , scraping his knee when they were kids and the tears in his eyes, trying not to cry in front of Wonwoo. 

“I brought some vanilla cake for dessert, so there’s my contribution. Wow, It’s been a while since I’ve seen everyone in one room!” He exclaims while fixing the buttons on his pastel blue collared button up, “What’d I miss?”

Everyone seems delighted to see him, except Minghao who is complaining about his lateness and how everyone is hungry. Seungcheol tells Mingyu that it’s no big deal having to wait, which seems to make Mingyu feel less guilty. Wonwoo watches all this unfold before him as he merely stares straight at the boy, who hasn’t yet regarded his presence and is laughing so nonchalantly as he drinks his wine. 

Wonwoo hopes he can escape unnoticed by him, no one has said a thing yet and everyone has begun passing the food around to finally start eating. He’ll probably just get glossed over, there’s so many people in the room and he’s on the other end of the table so maybe, _hopefully_ , if God is really out there, then—

“Oh! This is Wonwoo!” Soonyoung interrupts everyone, holding his arms out to create a frame around the boy, “I know you’ve been too busy with work to even respond to the group chat but you knew he was coming right?”

Wonwoo internally groans, he figured Soonyoung was too absorbed in talking with Jihoon, but of course he hasn’t really forgotten about him. 

“Oh yeah! I—“ Mingyu stops mid sentence when his gaze finally meets Wonwoo’s, and his face distorts to that of shock, mirroring the one on Wonwoo’s most likely.

Now everyone begins to quiet down, feeling the tense air in the room. All the clank and clatter of the kitchen utensils and slew of various conversations die down and everyone is either looking at Wonwoo or Mingyu. Wonwoo uncomfortably coughs, wishing to be out of this horrid, horrid situation, and averts eye contact with Mingyu immediately. No one is saying anything, but most importantly, _Mingyu_ isn’t saying anything, and it makes his heart race even faster. A record player in the corner softly playing some jazz song suddenly becomes apparent to Wonwoo, it must’ve been too loud earlier for him to even hear it, but he hears it now, loud and clear. He feels his face start to heat up. 

And Wonwoo can’t help but look up at him again, it’s difficult for him to resist. First of all, the boy he knew at six years old, is not the same small-sized, chubby cheeked boy. He’s grown a good amount, he's probably taller than Wonwoo now, and he looks like he came straight out a GQ magazine. Tall, tan, handsome and everything. Wonwoo begins to wonder how that’s even possible, how was puberty _that good_ to someone? He quickly snaps out of it once someone finally speaks. 

“Mingyu?” Seungcheol raises a brow, “you good?”

Mingyu suddenly realizes he’s staring, and he also gives a cough. “Sorry,” he looks down ( _Is that a blush on his face? Is he blushing?_ Wonwoo thinks to himself). He appears shy, like a school boy confessing to his crush after years of pining from a distance and staring with doe-eyes.

Except that bashful look is soon wiped off his face, and he shoots Wonwoo what looks to be a smug smirk, “you just didn’t mention that he was so handsome.” 

Wonwoo’s jaw nearly drops at what he hears. He almost thinks he’s heard wrong, but the awkward laughs from some of the boys confirm that he did indeed hear when he heard. Now he’s really thankful Jun took that glass out of his hands or else it would’ve met the wood floor in a loud shatter by now. He catches Minghao slap him on the arm. 

“Ignore him, he’s an idiot,” Minghao says to Wonwoo. 

Mingyu rubs his hurt arm and glares at Minghao, who simply shrugs his shoulders. Both Seokmin and Soonyoung break out into a fit of laughter, tears nearly coming out their eyes. Jihoon puts his head in his hands, looking 100% done with the situation.

“Let’s just eat, yeah?” Seungcheol says, who also looks as if he’s holding back his laughter. All the boys hum in agreement (Wonwoo excluded because his hands feel all sweaty and his heart is still racing and he’s pretty sure Jun is still looking at him very concerned). 

Wonwoo’s mind swarms with thoughts— _Does he not recognize me? Does he not know who I am? Does he, and he’s just messing with me? Is he going to approach me later and talk about how he used to come knocking on my door asking to hang out? Is he gonna tell everyone I shut the door on him every time? What if he’s out to get revenge, for all those times I said no? Oh God, he has to recognize me, right? He’s just messing with me. He’s definitely toying with me._

“Don’t worry about Mingyu, he’s just like that,” Soonyoung whispers in his ear, then passes Wonwoo a plate full of spaghetti. His words haunt Wonwoo for a while as he aimlessly puts some spaghetti on his plate. _He’s just like that_ , and suddenly he’s reminded of how annoying he found Mingyu back when they were young, and this instance confirmed not much has changed since then. He takes back what he said about Soonyoung choosing a good lot of friends. Yeah, most of them were good, _except Mingyu_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi okay, you don't understand how much i racked my brain over how i was gonna go about this story because i just posted it with like a vague idea of how it was gonna go (lmao) but i think... i got it... kinda... sorted out! anyway, pls let me know what you think!


	3. boat business and burgers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo really can't stand Mingyu, but even more, he can't stand what Soonyoung tells him about Mingyu.

The rest of the dinner went splendidly well. Splendidly well being code for painfully awkward andstress inducing, at least for Wonwoo anyway. It seemed as if _he_ was the main course for dinner, everyone’s focus was put on him. Even when they tried to stop putting him on the spot light, he’d alway wind up as the center of attention. He can’t really blame them, he was new to them after all, and they were curious. All kinds of questions were shot at him, how old is he, why he left town, how he met Soonyoung, even obscure ones like his last Netflix watch, and if he believes in ghosts. His awkwardness was showing for the first five minutes of dinner, but soon enough he was already warming up to them. Plus, the food proves to be better than what he expected. If he’s being completely honest, much of it looked hastily put together, but what could you expect from a rowdy lot of young men? Nevertheless, it was much tastier than what Wonwoo could do. 

“So what’d you major in Wonwoo?” Jun asks him. 

“Literature.”

The boys all nod their heads in unison. 

“Do you have any favorite books?” Jihoon asks next, and he’s thankful Jun’s question is not followed up by a ‘so what do you plan to do with that?’. 

“Wonwoo really likes Shakespeare! He’s read nearly all his works, he also likes a lot of historical fiction, but he doesn’t really limit himself to a genre. He reads so much, I can’t even believe how much he’s read!” Soonyoung answers for him. Wonwoo knows that Soonyoung is trying to take him out the hot seat, which he’s thankful for. However, deciding he can speak for himself, he nudges Soonyoung and gives him a look.

“Jeez, it sounds like you’re dating him,” Jihoon mutters quietly, but not quietly enough for Wonwoo (and most of the room) to hear. 

Soonyoung ears turn a bright pink color and he quickly tries to save himself, but ends up turning the situation around.

“Are you jealous?” He goads the other, and if Soonyoung knows what’s good for him, he needs to stop now. To Wonwoo’s surprise, Jihoon doesn’t seem to mind it though, at least, not as much as he would had it been someone else. He does, however, shoot Soonyoung a nasty look that ends up shutting him up. 

Wonwoo clears his throat, “Uh yeah, I like Shakespeare. Most of his tragedies really.”

Despite the rather depressing, for lack of better word, thought, Seokmin still laughs, as he’s been doing most of the night. Wonwoo finds it endearing. He’s also noticed that Mingyu hasn’t said anything for a while. The last time he’s spoken out loud was to ask Seungkwan to pass the salt and pepper. Other than that, he’s mostly been speaking in low whispers with Minghao. They’ve giggled to each other every now and then, and Wonwoo tries so _so_ hard not to glare at him. It’s annoying, he thinks—but only Mingyu, Minghao is fine. 

“Do you have anything you want to do during your time here?” Seungcheol asks this time, cutting his attention away from Mingyu and Minghao. 

He’s never really thought about that. Mostly he expected to be in his aunt’s apartment watching over Mochi while playing games on his laptop, going to the beach every now and then to read. Nothing more than that. 

“I haven’t planned anything really. But Soonyoung’s got a whole bucket list he wants to finish so we’ll probably be seeing each other a lot,” he says to all of them (minus Mingyu), and they all seem to light up at that. Seungkwan even claps in excitement, having to take his hand that’s intertwined with Vernon to do so. 

“It’ll be a lot of fun!” Soonyoung says, “we’ll do all sorts of things.”

“Leave it to Soonyoung to have it all planned out,” Jeonghan chuckles, casually drinking from his wine glass every time after he speaks. Wonwoo’s a particularly observant person, so he also catches the way Jeonghan and Seungcheol glance at each other from time to time. He can’t help but admit Jeonghan was captivating to look at, but even when he spoke Seunghceol looked enamored. Another question he’ll have to ask Soonyoung another time. 

“Is everyone done with their plates?” Seokmin is the first to get up. The dinner had felt slow, _too slow_ , when everyone’s attention was fixated on him and he was taking all the heat, but in actuality they had all finished eating within 45 minutes (Vernon quicker than that, he scarfed down the food quicker than a cheetah could sprint). 

“We have a lot of leftovers, we can save it for our picnic this week,” Seungcheol points out, standing up to bring his dishes to the sink. When everyone begins to get up from their seat as well, Mingyu makes the executive decision to take everyone’s plates to avoid a huge crowd around the sink. Wonwoo rolls his eyes despite the nice gesture. When Mingyu comes around to take his plate, neither eye contact or words were shared between them. 

“Dessert!!?” Vernon suggests, and some pass while others join him to cut the cake Mingyu brought. Mingyu says he’ll cut slices for everyone who wants a taste and grabs a knife after setting the plates down by Seokmin. 

“Why must he do everything for everyone?” Wonwoo grumbles to himself, deciding to pass on the cake. When he looks to his side he sees Jun staring right at him, who then quirks his eyebrow with a knowing smirk evident on his pretty face. 

“What?” Wonwoo asks him. 

“I’m just taking a wild guess here, but do you not like Mingyu?” Jun questions him, the smirk growing wider on his face when he watches Wonwoo deny him. 

Jun throws his hands up in defense, “I’m not pointing fingers or anything, you’ve just been glaring at him all night.”

“It’s nothing,” Wonwoo counters immediately, but it doesn’t seem to convince Jun all too well. He looks around to see if anyone is listening before he leans more into Jun.

“Was it that noticeable?” He asks him, which Jun responds with a shake of his head. 

Before he could say anything, the chandelier above the dining table is suddenly turned off and replaced by string lights around the living room. It casts a soft glow around, and somehow the entire atmosphere begins to settle down. Rather than vibrant shouts and spirited laughter, the boys all toned down their volumes, mellow voices and low chuckles. All the others who weren’t grabbing some cake or helping Seokmin with the dishes had filed out to the living room, piling their bodies on the minimal couch space, or on the floor. 

“C’mon,” Jun tilts his head towards the rest of the guys, and they both stand up to follow them.

He could see the way the group all began to intermingle and mix amongst each other. When Soonyoung had mentioned all of his friends, Wonwoo couldn’t even imagine how the whole dynamic of that worked. He was more of a small close-knit group of friends kinda guy, so the idea of twelve boys all together nearly short-circuited his brain when Soonyoung first told him. But watching them from the dinner, and watching them now, everything about it seemed so natural. Admittedly, they got riled up every now and then over minor things, like, Vernon believed pineapple belongs on pizza whereas Jihoon did not. So yeah, small stuff. But nevertheless, somehow the group just _worked_ , no question about it. Soonyoung always said they felt like family, and Wonwoo was beginning to see why. 

“So how did you meet Soonyoung?” Wonwoo asks Jun once they settle in on one of the couches. Joshua joins them a second after with a plate of cake, and the two scoot down to give him some room. They have to throw the pillows down in order for it to work, but the boys on the floor use them as makeshift seats. 

“We lived in the same dorm freshman year of college. I was roommates with Jihoon and Soonyoung was a couple rooms down from us. The three of us took classes together a lot.”

Wonwoo nods his head once. Jun looks like he wants to ask him something, but doesn’t get the chance to once Jihoon starts playing some keys on the piano in the corner of the room.

“Play something!” Seokmin shouts from the kitchen, still cleaning up apparent by the sounds of pots and pans banging together. The calm is briefly interrupted by the rest of the gang agreeing in fervent hollering and cheering. It’s fleeting, as they revert to hushed voices once Jihoon takes a seat on the piano chair. 

“This’ll be good,” Wonwoo hears Joshua silken voice murmur. When Wonwoo looks to Joshua, he looks like a prince, even the way he eats cake. His lips curl into a smile when he catches Wonwoo looking at him, and Wonwoo returns the gesture. 

Soonyoung is looking at Jihoon proudly, smitten too, and motions for him to continue. Seokmin even stops doing his kitchen work to sit amongst everyone. Jihoon rolls his eyes at the reaction he’s received, but he also looks like he loves it, and he rolls the sleeves up of his lilac button up and thinks of something to perform. Soonyoung looks to Wonwoo across the room and he beams at him; he looks so happy. Wonwoo softly smiles back and sits back against the velvet cushioned chair. 

When Jihoon starts playing, everyone just sits there in silence. It’s the quietest he’s seen them since he’s been here. The song sounds familiar, probably a tune he’s listened to whilst studying before, and the young man plays it so beautifully, so elegantly. The way the tiny golden lights around the room circle the boys, the way Vernon is outstretched on the floor with his head on Seungkwan’s lap, how Jun is humming quietly along him, and the ocean outside providing background noise alongside the whisper of the wind, the faint murmur of voices (probably Seungcheol and Jeonghan), Joshua’s sigh of content, and the overarching air of calamity and exhaustion— the way this all intertwines with piano music, Wonwoo feels like he’s made a home already.

He looks over to Mingyu, who’s leaned up against the wall (there’s not too much room left on the floor and both couches and loveseat are taken) with his eyes closed. He looks serene, standing there like that. Dare Wonwoo say, it’s actually nice looking at him when he looks so at peace. Wonwoo gathers Mingyu probably feels the same comfortable stillness he’s feeling right now as well. 

“Well, you’re not glaring at him this time,” Jun whispers. 

Wonwoo wants to tell him to shut up, or something of that sort, but he leaves it once he registers the lack of bitterness he was feeling towards Mingyu. The entire night his temper was like a boiling teapot ready to whistle, even if he didn’t directly do anything towards him. Something about watching the way Mingyu interacted with others, and how others seemed to openly adore him (Minghao might’ve slapped him every two minutes but the tenderness was still present) vexed Wonwoo. 

Once the song comes to an end, Mingyu’s eyes begin to slowly open and clear, twinkling eyes meet his. Everyone around them claps vigorously at Jihoon’s performance, saying how wonderful and talented he is (“He’s got more talent in his finger than I have in my entire body!” Soonyoung gushes). Wonwoo, however, can’t peel his eyes away from Mingyu. 

**

“Yes mom, things are fine… yes, yes… yeah I’ll let Soonyoung know you say hello. Okay. Okay. _Okay._ Alright, love you too, bye,” Wonwoo hangs up the phone and pulls up his navigation app again. His mom had called in the middle of him entering Jun’s apartment address. Normally he wouldn’t mind a chat with his mom, but he was already running late after rushing to put food out for Mochi. He gets into his car and puts his phone on his lap to reference while he’s driving (only when he’s hit a red light or stop sign). 

Soonyoung was out on a date with Jihoon, one that lasted all day apparently, and Wonwoo was quite frankly bored all by himself. Luckily he had exchanged numbers with Jun at the dinner party the other night, so he texted him after he was done playing some games on his laptop in the morning. Jun texted back quick, told him Minghao and Vernon were at his place and that he was more than welcome to come as well. 

Wonwoo concluded that he could never get tired of the sea, it was always present wherever he went. In this case, it was extremely present as Jun did live right on the beach. He regretted not bringing sunglasses, it was exceptionally bright today with hardly any clouds in sight. Thus, it was much hotter today than the previous— Wonwoo was wearing a tank and shorts and he still felt like he was burning. Luckily he had remembered to spray some sunscreen on before he left, the sun was never kind to Wonwoo, a lesson he learnt the hard way after countless sunburns. 

The exterior of Jun’s apartment building was covered in perennial flowering vines that was reminiscent of the French countryside. A hue of pastel pink and purple flowers filled the walls to the roof. The building looked a bit old, yet Wonwoo liked it. Older looking building appealed to Wonwoo, it seemed timeless more than anything. He opened up his texts with Jun to double check his apartment number, and—praise the heavens—he was just on the first floor. 

“It’s unlocked!” Minghao’s voice rang from inside once he knocked. Wonwoo hesitated at first, but then opened the door and was met with three boys languidly laying around watching some old cartoon on TV. 

“Hey!” Minghao said once he stepped in, followed by Vernon’s greetings. Jun stood up to approach Wonwoo, and the immediate look of worry plastered on his face was starting to make Wonwoo uneasy. 

“Hey, so, I don’t think I mentioned this, and don’t get mad or anything, but—“

“Who’s here?” An unsettling feeling rose in the pit of Wonwoo’s stomach. Jun’s eyes closed shut as if that could help avoid the situation. Wonwoo’s suspicious were confirmed when he looked past Jun and saw Mingyu standing by the kitchen with a bag of white cheddar popcorn in his hand. 

“I didn’t think he’d be here, I thought he had work,” Jun muttered under his breath to Wonwoo, who was staring at him with an unreadable expression.

“Oh, hey!” Mingyu waves to him, “how’s it going?”

Wonwoo’s been tossing and turning in bed at night, losing sleep over this damn menace of a person. He still can’t figure out if Mingyu remembers him or not. He’s not even sure if he _wants_ him to remember or not. What would be easier? And it’s not fair, Wonwoo thinks, that he has to suffer alone over this, while Mingyu acts so… so composed and unconcerned. The least he could do was suffer with him. Wonwoo fights back narrowing his eyes at the younger boy, who stands there looking like he just woke up with his scruffy hair and disheveled clothes even though it’s past 12 in the afternoon. 

“Sorry Mingyu, I forgot to mention Wonwoo was coming over,” Jun says to the other, since Wonwoo doesn’t seem to be speaking up. 

“No, it’s fine! The more the merrier,” he smiles at Wonwoo, but Wonwoo’s still got a blank expression on his face. He deduces this is the best way to handle interactions with Mingyu for now, mostly because he doesn’t know any other way to react. If Mingyu knew who he was, he could at least openly despise him, but if Mingyu can’t remember then it would seem unreasonable for him to be rude. At least, that was his logic. 

“Do you want any food? I can cook you something,” Mingyu asks Wonwoo, already putting his snack down without hearing the other’s answer. 

“I’m fine,” he replies rather curtly. 

He catches Vernon and Minghao look at him, then back at Mingyu, then at Jun. 

“Alright, so!” Jun cuts the tension in the room, “Does anyone wanna go out on the boat?”

“Wait,” Vernon sits up on the couch, “I thought we’d just be watching movies today.”

“Let’s do that!” Minghao stands up, “We can cool down by the water, the air out there will be nice,” Minghao says to Vernon as he helps bring him to his feet. If he hadn’t, Vernon probably would’ve laid there for the entire day. 

“Mingyu, can you go grab my keys? They’re on my bed,” Jun tells the tall man as he switches the TV off. Mingyu nods his head and disappears down the hallway. Minghao hangs back with him while Wonwoo and Vernon follow Jun out the back yard door and to the beach. 

Wonwoo curses himself for not bringing a pair of sunglasses like the rest of them, the sun really was strong today. When he brings his hand up to his face to creates a shield for his eyes, Jun chuckles lightly.

“I have an extra pair of shades on the boat, you can borrow them.”

“Thanks man,” he kicks off his flip flops off and walks down the shore barefoot. Minghao’s right, the air is fresh out here. He glances at the vastness of the ocean and sees how it sparkles and gently moves. Wonwoo watches the clear blue water lapping at the golden sand and the sea shells it leaves behind. When he bends to pick one up, Jun finally speaks. 

“Uh, sorry about that, by the way. Mingyu’s my roommate for the summer until he goes back to college,” Jun explains to him in a quiet voice, presumably for Vernon doesn’t hear, “I don’t really know what you have against him, beats me, but if it makes you uncomfortable—“

“It’s fine,” Wonwoo cuts him off, “it’s nothing.”

Jun looks like he doesn’t believe him, and Wonwoo knows he isn’t being persuasive enough, but they both leave it at that for today. It’ll come up another time, he’s positive of it, and he can decide then if he wants to tell Jun or not. He still hasn’t decided if he should mention it to Soonyoung, the guy who was _so sure_ that Wonwoo would like all of his friends. He’s afraid it’d hurt him. 

“Hey, so Seungkwan’s planning on stopping by Cream and Sugar after he’s done hanging out with his parents. Think he’s bringing Seokmin too. You guys down?” Vernon looks up from his phone at the two of them. 

“Jeonghan works at Cream and Sugar. We go there quite often,” Jun says. Wonwoo vaguely remembers the place being brought up at the dinner. Seungkwan was raving over the chai tea lattes for a good five minutes, so they made unsettled, up in the air plans to go sometime soon. That must’ve meant today. 

Jun continues, “Yeah, I could go for a drink.”

Wonwoo confirms he’ll also be there and Vernon starts texting away his response. 

The beach is quite empty, there were a couple people sun bathing here and there, but overall it wasn’t too populated. It was a small town, the masses mostly hung around warmer beaches down south. Wonwoo was fonder of empty, quieter beaches anyway. Ones too crowded took the tranquil aspect of the sea away from it. 

“My family owns a couple boat shops around the area. We have a couple kayaks back at the apartment if you ever want to do that, and then I have my sailing boats, remember I was telling you about that? That takes a while to get down, and Vernon hates sailing—“ 

“Honestly, I just suck at it,” Vernon admits sheepishly. 

Jun laughs at that, “so yeah, most of the time I take the guys out on the boat. My parents are cool with it, as long as we clean up after ourselves. Every now and then someone gets sick, Seungcheol threw up last time. I hope you don’t get motion sickness.”

“Nah, I think I’ll be good.”

They approach the dock shortly. There’s a couple other boats that Jun says belongs to other families in the neighborhood, but at the very end is where Jun’s floats. Wonwoo’s only been on a boat once, it was with his parents back when he used to live here. He was probably four or five years old and his memory of it was very limited. But when he sees a familiar logo on Jun’s boat, something in his head clicks. 

“Hey, I think my parents might’ve rented a boat from you,” Wonwoo realizes, “do you own the shop down 1st?”

“Yeah!” Jun laughs again, “what a small world. So you’ve been?”

“Yeah, once. It was a long time ago.”

Jun nods, beaming at the boat in front of them. 

Soon enough, Mingyu and Minghao make it with Jun’s keys dangling on a blue whale lanyard, as well as four ice cold lemonades in tow. 

“Thanks guys. Now we’re good to go,” Jun takes his keys from Mingyu and a lemonade from Minghao. Wonwoo walks with Jun as the other three tread behind. Vernon is asking the two if they wanna join them to Cream and Sugar and he hears Minghao and Mingyu both say yes, as expected. He rolls his eyes. 

“Okay so feel free to take a seat anywhere, I’m gonna go start the engine,” Jun boards the boat and goes into the room past the sliding door to get the boat up and running. Wonwoo moves to sit down on one of the cushioned chairs, coincidentally where Mingyu goes to sit as well. They both end up occupying the seat together while Vernon sits directly across from them and Minghao goes inside to help Jun. If he starts to feel queasy he thinks it has less to do with motion sickness. 

“Isn’t it nice?” Mingyu sighs, and throws his left arm on top of the chair, right behind Wonwoo’s back. Wonwoo stiffens, but Mingyu doesn’t seem to notice. He just eagerly takes in the sight before taking two long gulps of his lemonade, letting out a loud “ah” at the refreshing coolness of it. The boat then roars with noise, indicating it’s on, and Jun shouts at everyone to hold on tight. Before Wonwoo knows it, the boat is speeding down the water and he’s reaching to grab a hold onto something, anything. Unfortunately for him, this just so happens to be Mingyu’s hand resting on the seat. He’s only realized the contact has been made when he looks at Vernon, whose looking down at their hands in amusement.

“Oh, uh, sorry,” Wonwoo apologizes, knowing his face isn’t just heating up because the sun. Much to his chagrin, Mingyu’s got that smug look on his face, like he did that night, and he doesn’t look the least bit bothered. 

“It’s fine,” he says to him with a voice laced of mockery. He then uses his free hand to drink from his almost finished bottle, “you wanna leave it there?”

Words cannot describe the irritation Wonwoo was feeling, and he hates that the sun is shining down on Mingyu and his stupid teeth are glinting under the rays of light and his hair is blowing gently against the wind and his skin looks like it’s nearly glowing in this lighting and his stupid sunglasses prevent him from seeing his eyes but he knows they’re probably stupid looking too. Even the way he drinks his lemonade is stupid. Everything about the man exudes stupidity, and Wonwoo wonders how someone so stupid even became friends with Soonyoung. 

“Here are your shades,” Wonwoo hasn’t even realized Jun left Minghao to steer the boat. A pair of trendy black sunglasses are presented in front of them, and it’s then when Wonwoo pulls his hand away from Mingyu’s to take them. Jun clears his throat, then turns around to talk to Vernon. Vernon wants to go up to the second floor, something about seeing the water better, and Jun says he’ll go up there with him. He looks at Wonwoo before he climbs up the stairs, and then it’s just the two of them, sitting side by side in silence. 

And it’s a really long silence. Uncomfortably long. Mingyu, again, doesn’t look like he’s bothered at all, and that ticks Wonwoo off even more. 

“So, how are you—?”

“Do you not know who I am?” Wonwoo blurts out before it’s late. He’s too annoyed to even feel an ounce of regret, but who cares. Certainly not him. 

“Uh…” The cocky smile on his face falters at Wonwoo’s rather aggressive tone. He removes his sunglasses to look at the older man, “you’re Soonyoung’s friend from out of town?” And he looks perplexed, like a lost puppy. A big lost, confused puppy. Wonwoo is reminded of six year old Mingyu, pouting every time Wonwoo declined hanging out with him.

Before he feels any pang of guilt, Wonwoo stares him down even harder, wanting him to remember.

“That’s all?” He pesters, without realizing he’s drawing closer and closer to the other man.

“Am I supposed to know you?” Mingyu’s body is now fully turned to face Wonwoo. He’s staring at him now, taking a good look at his face. They stay like that for what feels like forever. And then Mingyu’s mouth opens. 

“Hey Gyu, do you wanna steer? Jun has his wakeboard here and I wanna try it out!” Minghao pops out from the inside of the boat holding a small board. The two boys, caught off guard, pull away from each other, now sitting as far away as possible. Neither of them say anything for a while.

“Mingyu?” Minghao pokes him with the wakeboard. 

“Oh! Uh… yeah. I’ll—yeah, I’ll do it,” Mingyu fumbles with his words before he stands up. He pauses, and Wonwoo expects him to say something, but then he heads inside (almost trips in the process) to drive the boat and closes the doors shut. 

“You can try it too Wonwoo,” Minghao fails to acknowledge the situation, just standing there giddy like a five year old with Jun’s board. Wonwoo waits for him to leave and talk to Jun before he drops his head into his hands and groans.

**

Mingyu, for whatever reason, thinks that trying wake boarding does not require a shirt like a civilized human being and forgoes it once he gives it a go. Minghao scoffs and calls him a showoff, which Wonwoo has no hesitation agreeing to. 

“Alright, Vernon is gonna start driving!” Jun shouts to Mingyu once he’s in position. He shoots Vernon a thumbs up and the blonde haired boy begins picking up the pace of the boat. 

Wonwoo can’t stand the sight of Mingyu right now, so he sits and sulks in the chair. Jun soon enough joins him, handing him his lemonade. 

“There’s harder stuff in the fridge in there if you want?”

Wonwoo can’t help but chuckle. He shakes his head and twists open the cap of his lemonade bottle. 

“Do you wanna try? You can go next and then we can head back. It’s,” he looks down at his leather bound watch, “almost 2pm. We’ve been out here for a good two hours almost.”

“It’s okay. Just watching you guys do it is enough for me.”

“You sure?” Jun raises a brow at him, “it’s really fun!”

Wonwoo still declines his offer. To his left Mingyu is shouting and bursting in laughter while Minghao records what looks like a Snapchat video. Typical.

“You know, if you got rid of your pre-existing notion of Mingyu I feel like you would actually really like him” Jun says, grabbing his towel to dry his hair, wet from jumping in the water after a dare from Minghao (“Either you’re whipped for him or… you’re whipped for him, otherwise why else would you do something that dumb,” Wonwoo snorted when Jun got back up from the water. Vernon immediately started laughing at what Wonwoo said and Jun threw a water bottle at him. Vernon kept laughing anyway. Wonwoo suspects something is going on, but he doesn’t push it.). 

“Never,” he scowls at the thought of the two getting along. Wonwoo could deal with loud, ardent people, he could also deal with unashamed bold and honest people as well. But something about Mingyu dripped of presumptuousness, arrogance, and a nonchalance that almost came across as indifference. The back of his head is fighting back thoughts that prove his statement otherwise, but he ignores it. 

Jun sighs at Wonwoo’s unmoving mindset and simply drapes his towel over his bent head as an end to the conversation. But Wonwoo doesn’t want to come across as stubborn, because he’s not, he has reasons that Jun just doesn’t know.

“Listen,” he leans into the other man, “I just. I know Mingyu, okay? I just know him and it doesn’t… he doesn’t vibe well with me.”

Jun doesn’t say anything. 

“You probably think I’m being really stubborn, and—“

“I do.”

Wonwoo exhales deeply, “Right. But I’m not saying you guys have to stop being friends with him! _I’m_ just not—“

“Going to make an effort to?” Jun takes the towel of his head to look straight into Wonwoo’s dark eyes. He doesn’t look necessarily annoyed or put off by Wonwoo, which is a relief. He doesn’t necessarily look pleased either.

“I said this before, it beats me whether you get along with him or not. I’m just saying, Jeonghan and Mingyu are two very different people yet they get along just fine. I’m sure if you just tried…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, because Mingyu starts shouting out that he’s done. Minghao signals to Vernon to stop the boat so he can get off the board. 

“You and I both know this conversation isn’t over,” Jun points his finger to Wonwoo, and moved it till it’s pressed against Wonwoo’s chest. And then he smiles, like nothing’s just happened, before moving back inside to steer the boat. When Mingyu hops back on board, he flicks the wet hair away from his face and takes a towel to wrap around his exposed upper half. When he sees Wonwoo looking at him he looks rather satisfied. Wonwoo lets out an audible sound of disgust and decides he’ll chill on the second floor of the boat by himself. 

**

“Wait so what happened? You’re talking too fast, I can’t keep up.”

“I _said_ he took me by the mountains, the ones a little bit past the town, and we went up on a short hike to this overlooking view point, it was so beautiful man, and he literally just kissed me! It felt like something straight out a romance movie, the ones you like, with the sunset and everything. I wish you had seen it.”

Wonwoo stops himself before biting into his french fry, “Uh, I think I was fine watching the sunset in the comfort of my room. Alone. But thanks.”

Soonyoung shrugs, and the two proceed in eating their hamburgers and fries. They sat parked inside Wonwoo’s car in a tiny parking lot that diverges from the highway and oversees the coast. It was currently 1:10am, Soonyoung was normally asleep at this hour but he insisted on seeing Wonwoo even if that meant begging on his knees, which he did. Wonwoo didn’t think he actually would, but he indeed did, over FaceTime and he wishes he could’ve recorded it. When he went to pick up his very awake and very lively friend at 12:50, they both made a call for burgers at the only open fast food place in the area. 

“So you guys are officially dating now?” Wonwoo asks him, taking a big bite into his burger after. 

Soonyoung’s still got food in his mouth when he replies, “I don’t know!?! Does that mean it’s official? He didn’t say anything about a relationship.”

“Dude, I’m pretty sure he wants to be official.”

“Really?” Soonyoung’s got a hopeful twinkle in his eyes, and the manner in which he grasps his cream colored sweater knit blanket (Wonwoo had burst out laughing when Soonyoung had stepped out wrapped around it like it a burrito) reminds him of when they were little and talked about their old dreams and aspirations. Soonyoung, at the root and core of everything, truly hasn’t changed. 

“Yeah,” Wonwoo confidently tells him. 

They fall into a comfortable silence after that, just eating their food and staring out the night sky. Well, somewhat silence. Soonyoung’s at that point with his soda where it’s clearly finished but he keeps sipping in hopes to get any little that’s left. Wonwoo almost tells him to cut it out, the noise ruining his train of thought, but Soonyoung speaks first. 

“So what did you do today?”

Wonwoo crumbles up the wrapper that was around his burger and throws it into the bag, dusting his hands off of residue. “I hung out with Jun and some of the other guys.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you do?” He asks again, obviously looking for more detail. Soonyoung knows Wonwoo’s like this, saying very little most of the time, and he’s grown used to it since he does most the talking anyway. But sometimes he feels the need to prod more out of Wonwoo otherwise Wonwoo simply won’t say anything.

“Jun took us out on his boat.”

“Did you have fun?

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“We went to Sugar and Cream. The one Jeonghan works at. He gave us some free drinks.”

Nothing much happened after their boat ride. When they stopped by Sugar and Cream they were mostly too burnt out and desperate for a nap. Vernon had stayed back with Seungkwan and Seokmin while he, Jun, Minghao and Mingyu parted ways after finishing their drinks. Wonwoo told Jeonghan he’d come and visit with Soonyoung another time when he wasn’t so tired, and Jeonghan made him swear to it.

“Mm,” Soonyoung muses, probably thinking about their chai tea latte Seungkwan loves so much, “we’ll go sometime soon together.”

It’s silent again. Wonwoo rolls the window down to feel the chilly night air. There’s a cricket outside filling the silence between them. He rests his head on the side of the door and inhales, exhales. He can feel Soonyoung staring at him.

“What?” He asks. 

“You and Jun seem to be getting along quite well.”

“Yeah, I like him.”

“You _like_ him?”

“Oh come on. I don’t mean it like that Soonyoung.”

“Right,” Soonyoung snickers like he knows, but he doesn’t really know, so Wonwoo doesn’t bother with it. 

“He’s single,” Soonyoung turns away from him to also gaze at the night sky. They didn’t have any of the indoor car lights on, the moonlight leaking in was enough shine. The stars are much brighter out here than they are in the city, and they illuminate Soonyoung’s face nicely. Wonwoo turns up the originally muted stereo to around volume 5 so a slow R&B song is faintly playing. It was some playlist Soonyoung made for Wonwoo years ago. Soonyoung was surprised that he still had it, and Wonwoo looked at him like he was insane— _“of course I still have it”_. 

Wonwoo looks away from Soonyoung and back out the window, suddenly aware he still hasn’t responded. He scratches the back of his head, “He’s got something going on with Minghao.”

The dark haired man starts laughing, just like how Vernon did earlier, and Wonwoo furrows his brows. He opens his mouth to ask what’s so funny, but Soonyoung beats him to it again.

“They broke up months ago.”

“ _What_?” Wonwoo stares at Soonyoung with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. He would’ve never seen that coming, despite being a rather perceptive, analytical person. He takes silent pride in it much of the time. 

“Yup. Right? You can’t really tell, given the way they act now. I think they try to act like everything’s fine but something doesn’t seem right,” he sighs. It looks like this thought has been concerning him for quite some time now. He runs his hands through his hair in a slightly frustrated manner, but then looks to Wonwoo with his oh-so-familiar friendly grin, “What can you do though? Nothing really.”

After a while, Wonwoo mutters a quiet agreement. 

“If you like Jun though you should go for it. I don’t think he’s interested in Hao anymore anyway.”

Wonwoo wants to tell him he’s wrong, he’s completely wrong because Jun literally leaped off the boat to watch Minghao smile. If that’s not love, he doesn’t know what is. But he doesn’t mention it to Soonyoung, because Soonyoung meddles in _everyone’s_ business, even if it’s unintentional sometimes. 

“What about Minghao?” Wonwoo ponders.

“What about Minghao?” Soonyoung repeats his question back at him. He stares at Wonwoo for a second before he realizes, “Ah, you mean with Mingyu?”

Wonwoo doesn’t say anything, but Soonyoung takes it as a yes.

“They’re close,” Soonyoung elaborates, “I can’t tell if they’re…I dunno, I think they’re just fucking. You know, friends with benefits? No one really knows, they’re just really close.”

Wonwoo’s eyes involuntarily narrow and he clenches his teeth. It shouldn’t bother him, _it shouldn’t bother him._ He wishes he hadn’t asked, to save himself from whatever it was he was feeling. He thinks he was better off not knowing, but now he has to live with this information. Something about it makes him feel so… hollow. 

“Anyway!” Soonyoung doesn’t realize the dark aura that seems to emit from Wonwoo and he buckles his seat belt, “let’s get going. I have work in the morning.”

Wonwoo snaps out of it and wipes his hands on a napkin, nodding his head. Soonyoung keeps talking to him about Jun, saying this can be his summer fling, but all Wonwoo can think about is the way Mingyu and Minghao giggle when they’re together, hunched over to each other so only they can hear each other, how Minghao will whisper things in his ear, and Mingyu will do the same. He had even overheard them talking about borrowing clothes from each other, and making plans together that didn't involve the other guys. It bothers him for a momentary second that years and years ago, he could’ve been that close with Mingyu. The feeling goes as soon as it comes, and Wonwoo sighs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of sort of a filler chapter, idk things happen. (also i'm posting this at near 2am and i'm sorry if there are slight errors lol) anyway! comments are much appreciated!!


	4. empty smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo sees a different side of Mingyu.

Wonwoo’s been up and out the house so often that he nearly forgets he was brought here to watch over his aunt’s cat in the first place. He feels guilty, terribly guilty, but it doesn’t seem like Mochi does anything much (as most cats are) and it’d be a waste of his summer if he spent it lounging around cat-sitting more than half the time. Nevertheless, he decided to stay in this morning after being dutifully woken up by Mochi’s fuzzy tail tickling his face. His book is still open on it’s spine, resting on the empty left side of his bed. He groggily sits up with a yawn and reaches to delicately caress his temporary pet, closing his eyes and humming some vague tune he heard the other day. 

He stays like this for a good ten minutes until he decides to finally get up and make some breakfast, his hungry stomach growling for some eggs. When he opens the balcony doors, abreeze wafts through the white silk curtains and chills the room a bit, thus Wonwoo saunters back into his room and grabs the first cardigan he sees in his closet. The weather was beginning to cool down compared to the last two days of dry heat. Wonwoo pulls out an almost empty carton of eggs from the fridge and inserts two slices of bread into the toaster. Mochi soon joins him, aimlessly strolling around the kitchen before propping herself on her bed (Wonwoo’s never really seen her sleep in since he’s been here. She’s taken a liking to sleeping with him instead).

The door knocks mid-way into Wonwoo cooking breakfast. He pauses the music on his phone and lowers the heat to approach the door, wondering who it could be as he wasn’t expecting any guests. Last he remembered Soonyoung was working on a choreography with Chan this morning and, well… that was it. No one else knew he lived here. 

So imagine his surprise when Wonwoo opens the door and Mingyu, in all his six feet glory, is standing right in front of him. He’s got a big, sloppy grin plastered on his face, but when he sees Wonwoo, it starts to fade away.

Lovely.

“Uh,” Mingyu looks around, past Wonwoo’s head as if he’s here for someone else. 

“What are you doing here?” Wonwoo asks him rather bluntly, folding his arms looking anything but pleased at the presence of his enemy. 

“What are _you_ doing here?” Mingyu repeats at him. He looks confused; Mingyu is all smiles a good 90% of the time, the other 10% is looking confused. 

“Um, I live here?” 

“Oh.”

“You didn’t answer my question. What are you doing here?”

Wonwoo can picture the gears in Mingyu’s brain working extra hard trying to solve something out based on his facial expression. He finally speaks after what feels like forever of Wonwoo just standing there staring at him unimpressed.

“Wait, wait, _you’re_ the nephew? _You’re_ Ms. Jeon’s nephew?”

“Is there a problem?” He lifts an eyebrow, now leaning against the propped open door. 

“No, no, I just didn’t… I just didn’t expect it is all. Your aunt is friends with my family, she asked if I could come paint her bathroom for her while she went away. She mentioned her nephew I just didn’t know it’d be you.”

Wonwoo now realizes the paint bucket and brush Mingyu is grasping in his hands. His aunt may have mentioned something about a paint job being done at some point, it had just slipped his mind completely. It surely explains all the newspaper splayed out in the second bathroom though. Wonwoo sighs.

“Come in.”

With that being said, he allows Mingyu inside the apartment, turning on his heel to continue his cooking. Mingyu follows him inside the apartment and he looks like he’s been here before with how comfortable he walks around. Wonwoo doesn’t even need to direct him to the bathroom.

“I’ll just get started then,” Mingyu tells him, only to receive no response. 

Wonwoo resumes applying the butter on his toast, doing everything in his power to ignore Mingyu, who already begins making a lot of noise. Wonwoo doesn’t think painting should be that loud, so when he turns to see what the ruckus is all about, Mingyu’s got paint all over his face and bare arms. He doesn’t look the least bothered by it, _of course_ , but it bothers Wonwoo. 

“Do you even know what you’re doing?”

“Of course I do.”

Wonwoo scoffs, taking a small bite from the bread. He decides to leave Mingyu, waddling back to his room to snuggle back into bed with his breakfast and book while Mochi trails behind him. Before he firmly clicks the door shut, he catches Mingyu let out a chuckle. If he could lock the door, he would. It’d probably tick Mingyu off even more.

“It’s what he deserves,” Wonwoo thinks to himself, a nasty smile on his face. 

Mochi is standing in front of him, her eyes on the door as if she can see right past it. 

“It’s no one important,” Wonwoo mutters, walking past Mochi’s still body. Despite thinking he could simply ignore Mingyu literally breathing in his apartment, the longer he sits there, the more antsy get feels. He finds himself having to focus on the lines of the hardwood floor, or the tiny dots on his bedsheets to avoid thinking about Mingyu being in close proximity, with no one else around. It just _irks_ him. His leg is bouncing up and down in agitation. When he tries picking up his book to read, he can’t seem to absorb any of the narrative, reading sentences over and over again because he can’t remember if he read them or not. Mingyu also begins blasting music, some pop song he’s heard on the radio one too many times, and he’s passionately singing along with it. Wonwoo almost begins to phone his aunt, ask her _why him, of all the people in this town, why him?!_

He’s praying, willing to every higher, superior being there is up there, to get Mingyu to _shut up_ , because he can’t concentrate on his book (and this has never really been a problem for him, he immerses himself into novels so quickly most of the time). Except it probably has less to do with the actual noise and more to do with Mingyu. It could’ve been dead silent save for a ticking clock and he would still think it’s too loud _and_ blame it on Mingyu. 

And then he hears a knock on his door. 

“Who is it?” Wonwoo nearly cringes after his response. He blames his restless behavior for the past fifteen minutes for his idiotic question. 

“Who else would it be stupid,” he grumbles to himself.

“Uh,” he can hear Mingyu awkwardly shuffling his feet, even from behind the door. Wonwoo rises up, setting his unfinished breakfast on the nightstand and cracks up the door partly.

“What do you want?” He glares at him and puts his hands on his hip. He hopes he looks intimidating enough for Mingyu to just walk away, or leave the apartment entirely. 

“I—Mochi!” He suddenly is distracted by his aunt’s 12 year old Siamese cat, who is doing nothing but sitting on the floor. Mingyu invites himself in Wonwoo’s room, and hits the floor instantly to play with Mochi. And the thing is, she doesn’t move or leap away. In fact, she _encourages_ it, yearning for Mingyu’s touch as she leans in. Wonwoo wears an expression of disgust yet curiosity. 

“Did you need something? Or did you just barge into my room so you can play with Mochi?” He snaps at him. Mingyu doesn’t answer right away, however, with all his attention on said cat. It just pisses him off even more. 

“Sorry,” he finally says, “last year your aunt went away for a week and dropped Mochi off at my place. She had a lot of fun with Seokmin and I, isn’t that right Mochi? Isn’t it?” He resumes to petting her soft white fur gently. He must know that’s how Mochi likes it.

“How do you know my aunt anyway?” Wonwoo asks him this time, still standing by the door. The pungent smell of paint is seeping into his room. 

“I told you she’s friends with my family.”

Something seems to click in Mingyu’s head, he’s such an open book that Wonwoo notices it easily. The way his eyes widen and his jaw drops slightly, he even points his finger out. He’s such an animated person, if Wonwoo didn’t despise him so much, he’d actually find it endearing. 

“Is that where I’m supposed to know you from!!?” He says, almost shouting. 

Wonwoo merely blinks, “What.”

“The other day, you were all ‘do you know who I am’! Remember, on the boat? Sorry man, your aunt’s mentioned you before, but she never showed me pics or said your name or anything. Just ‘my nephew’ this, ‘my nephew’ that.”

Oh dear God.

Mingyu thinks Wonwoo was referring to his connection with his aunt. Is the boy that daft? Does he really not have any idea he used to come knocking on Wonwoo’s door nearly every day wanting to play video games, or bike around the neighborhood?

Wonwoo’s head just hurts thinking about this whole situation.

“Didn’t you need something?” He changes topics, not wanting to deal with this at 10 in the morning, or deal with Mingyu. Ever. But life has not been too kind to him, at least not in that department, so for now he’ll endure it. 

“Oh. Right.” He stands back up, wiping the cat hair off his clothes (but really, what’s the point in doing that? They’re already ruined with paint stains, what difference does the cat hair make?), “I’m hungry.”

“… and?”

“You’re not being that great of a host,” he pouts. When Mingyu pouts like that he suddenly looks like a toddler whose gotten his toy taken away from him, and not a full grown (still growing?) 20 year old man. 

For the sake of his aunt, he decides to play _somewhat_ nice. He rubs a hand over his face and lets out a loud sigh. 

“Alright, follow me,” he lazily drags his feet back into the kitchen. If Mingyu thinks he’s actually going to cook for him, think again. No need to waste his energy making a meal for someone so.. so, so, well _Mingyu_. He probably catches on to this when he sees Wonwoo pulling out some snacks, bread and jam at most, and looking very much apathetic. 

“I can cook for myself. If you don’t want to cook.”

“No.”

“I’m a really good cook.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t.”

The boys mention Mingyu and his cooking so often it’d be hard to forget it. His skills in the kitchen are apparently god-tier, something like that. 

Mingyu is hovering around Wonwoo as he walks around the kitchen, pulling out various boxes of food. Wonwoo doesn’t like it, but he doesn’t make a point to mention it. 

“Do you have ramen?”

In another world, Wonwoo would’ve thrown the ramen packet at him. Or maybe the whole box. But Mingyu _was_ painting their bathroom a nice cerulean color (Wonwoo likes that color) and his aunt seemed to like Mingyu and Mochi definitely likes Mingyu, so he doesn’t do that. He certainly imagines chucking it though. 

“Perfect, thanks!” He grabs the packet from Wonwoo’s hands and effortlessly takes ones of the pots hanging from the rack mounted on the ceiling.

“Sit down,” Wonwoo snatches the ramen back from Mingyu, “you’re not cooking in my house.”

It’s Wonwoo’s way of saying his mom raised him better and there’s no way a guest (no matter how annoying) is going to cook for himself when Wonwoo’s got working arms. He can be hospitable. Plus, if word got around to Soonyoung, he knows his friend wouldn’t be pleased with him. 

Mingyu gives Wonwoo a sunny grin and takes a seat on one of the stools so he can watch. And then his phone goes off, vibrating loudly against the table. The buzz scares Mochi off, she leaps back into the quietness of Wonwoo’s room.

“Oh, oops,” he flips it over to see whose calling. Wonwoo peeks over as he fills the pan with water and sees the calling ID. The name reads ‘Idiot’, but the embarrassing selfie shot gives it away. Minghao.

Mingyu presses on the green answer button and brings the phone to his ear, “Hey!”

Wonwoo wishes so badly he could hear what was happening, but all he gets is Mingyu’s end, who’s just laughing uncontrollably. He rolls his eyes over-exaggeratedly and nearly slams the pot down on the stove top. A feeling of regret for being vaguely nice to Mingyu washes over him.

“Sorry, I’m actually busy right now,” he hears the other say, this time much quieter, “yeah… yeah, I know. Yeah, _yes._ No, dude, I’m busy, I’ll see you later though. Yeah… yeah, alright. Okay, bye.”

He hangs up the phone and Wonwoo catches him as he puts it on silent. When Mingyu looks up from his phone, Wonwoo quickly turns away to hide the fact he was giving him any attention.

“It was Minghao,” he says, even though Wonwoo knows, “he just wanted to hang out. I think he forgot I had stuff to do today,” he chuckles softly. Wonwoo chooses not to say anything, putting all his focus on the ramen. Except two minutes of awkward silence has gone by and it’s strange given Mingyu is always producing some kind of noise out his mouth. He turns around to wash his hands despite them being relatively clean, and when he peers over at Mingyu, he freezes. 

Mingyu doesn’t look happy, not at all.All the twinkling light from his eyes have vanished, and his face looks so empty, devoid of any emotion. His shoulders are slumped and he’s quiet. He looks much smaller like this, like he’s shrinking and closing himself in. It strikes Wonwoo by surprise. Every time he’s seen Mingyu he appears so happy-go-lucky, unfazed and carefree. He almost looked like he didn’t have any worries most the time. But now, the hollows of his eyes look vacant and it actually pangs Wonwoo’s heart. The light barging in from his open balcony doors and kitchen windows is illuminating his face and it should be beautiful (anyone with eyes would say Mingyu is beautiful, it’s nothing personal), had Mingyu been smiling with his pearly white teeth and his skin glowing. But he just looks so tragic. It’s like looking at an abandoned Disneyland, all the lights shot out and all the magic disappeared. He doesn’t like it one bit.

He suddenly coughs to grab Mingyu’s attention, “Do you like your ramen spicy?” 

He wishes to change topics, to not feel so hurt from seeing Mingyu look so hurt, for whatever reason. Mingyu, too, realizes he’s gone silent and shakes it off (like, he really physically shakes himself. Wonwoo thinks he’s ridiculous). He appears back to normal when his eyes meet Wonwoo’s and he smiles.

“Yeah!” 

Wonwoo tries to ignore that Mingyu is masking something, the stoicism in his face is strikingly apparent to Wonwoo. And he knows what that’s like. He tries to ignore how Mingyu’s eyes look so dark when they’ve lost all their spark, and how stone cold his entire being can become. But the image is there, it’s there and it bothers him. He wonders if it’s something Minghao said, something he did. How could that be, when they were the best of friends? Wonwoo desperately wants to ask, and if he were more bold maybe he would’ve. But it’s not his place, and he doesn’t even like Mingyu, and he’s sure Mingyu knows that by now. 

So he proceeds in cooking his ramen, stealing glances over at Mingyu frequently. He’s occupied with some game on his phone and he looks like a kid again, but his smiles are stilted and he doesn’t move as energetically as he normally does. Wonwoo really doesn’t like it. 

**

After Mingyu had gotten food in his system, Wonwoo could say with confidence that he was ten times more annoying. He wouldn’t stop singing, even if he was making up the lyrics he didn’t know, nor would he stop trying to talk to Wonwoo. It got to the point where Wonwoo was debating whether he should leave the apartment for the day. What was taking _so long_ to finish painting a tiny bathroom anyway?

“Someone’s at the door!” Mingyu called out to him.

Wonwoo shot up from his bed, hoping it were Soonyoung to save him from his misery. When he approached the living room, his toes curled in his slippers when he saw Mingyu already opening the door. Who gave him the right? 

Confirming Wonwoo’s suspicions, it was Soonyoung holding two iced coffees. His eyes nearly popped out it’s sockets when he was greeted by Mingyu instead of Wonwoo.

“Mingyu!?” 

“Hey!”

“Man, if I knew you were here I would’ve brought another coffee!”

Mingyu waves it off and let’s Soonyoung in, without consulting Wonwoo first. Because it’s Soonyoung it’s not a problem, but it nevertheless grinds Wonwoo’s gears that Mingyu thinks he has that sort of authority in _his_ (his aunt’s) apartment. 

“Wonwoo! Why didn’t you tell me you had Mingyu over?” He sets the coffees down on the table, finally taking note of the paint on Mingyu’s face, and the aroma filling the apartment, “are you guys _painting_?”

Wonwoo sighs, bringing his hand to his head in utter frustration. 

“I’m painting his bathroom,” Mingyu explains, with no regard to the obvious exasperation in Wonwoo’s face, “also why didn’t you tell me Ms. Jeon’s nephew was Wonwoo?”

It’s the first time Wonwoo’s actually heard Mingyu say his name since they were kids. It was a lot deeper now. He’s not sure if he likes it or not, it just feels strange. His lips purse and he grabs the coffee Soonyoung’s brought, stomping back to his room.

“Hey, wait!” Soonyoung comes barreling in the room soon after, “what’s with you?”

“Nothing. Just… tired.”

“You’ve been home all day Wonwoo.”

“ _Still_ ,” he stabs the straw through the designated spot on the lid of his coffee, “Now, what are you doing here? And thanks for the drink.”

“I just thought I’d drop by after practicing with Chan. Are you _opposed_ to seeing me?” Soonyoung puts on a face of mock-devastation, holding his hand to his chest for an overly dramatic effect. 

Wonwoo throws a pillow at him. 

Soonyoung snickers, relaying the pillow back into Wonwoo’s hans, “Do you have any plans today?”

“Well I _thought_ I could enjoy a nice day to myself, but clearly not. Since that’s already been ruined might as well continue the streak. What did you have in mind?”

Soonyoung just laughs it off, seemingly oblivious to Wonwoo’s sly dig at Mingyu two doors down. “The guys planned a picnic on the beach with some volleyball. We have some leftovers from the dinner the other night but Joshua and Seungcheol are picking up some other stuff as well. You in?”

Wonwoo shrugs, “I won’t play volleyball.”

“Neither will Jeonghan.”

“I’m playing!” Mingyu sing songs from the bathroom, and suddenly the two boys can hear skipping footsteps approaching the room, “it’ll be a lot of fun!”

“Ooo, let’s be on a team together!” Soonyoung jumps up and down on Wonwoo’s bed, the force thus making Wonwoo also move like a wave. 

“We’ll definitely win. I already recruited Jun and Seungcheol as well. Minghao too.”

Wonwoo catches Mingyu’s voice waver for a second, only just slightly. He gets a quick flashback to what had happened earlier, and he feels weird all over again.

“That’s almost overkill to the other team though,” Soonyoung frowns. 

“Nah, they got Chan. I swear that kid is gonna be stronger than all of us soon enough.”

The two of them chortle at that, and begin conversing over volleyball teams and whatnot while Wonwoo stays silent. He doesn’t realize he’s glaring at Mingyu until said boy gives him a look and asks if he’s okay.

“Just peachy,” Wonwoo responds. 

Mingyu blinks his eyes twice and then snaps out of it, “Oh! I finished the bathroom by the way. I’ll be heading out now.”

Wonwoo grabs his wallet from the night stand and begins fishing around looking for cash, “Alright, how much do I owe you?” 

“Oh, _pft_ , no, no! It’s free, don’t worry about it. Let’s just say you paid me in food,” he winked, which made Wonwoo grimace.

If it weren’t for Soonyoung sitting three feet away from him, Wonwoo would’ve openly stated his revulsion at Mingyu’s behavior. 

“We’ll walk you out!” Soonyoung bounces back up and leads the way to the front door. Mingyu chuckles, then follows in pursuit. 

“I’ll let my aunt know you got it all done… and everything. She’ll probably give you a call, too,” Wonwoo lets the other know, just out of courtesy because when he had passed the bathroom he could admit the paint job made it look much cleaner. 

“Alright,” Mingyu, and he freaking _winks again_ , “I’ll see you guys later then! Don’t forget swimming trunks boys!!”

And he’s off. 

Wonwoo has never been so happy to shut the front door. 

**

When the two boys arrived at the beach, the scene splayed out in front of them was almost like something straight out some indie teen summer movie. Scratch that, it _was_ like something straight out some indie teen summer movie. Seungkwan and Seokmin were hitting a volleyball back and forth, Joshua and Jihoon were attempting to build a sand castle, Chan and Seungcheol were swimming around in the water, and the rest of the boys were laying out towels and organizing all the food. The sunlight brought a nice warmth onto Wonwoo’s skin, it wasn’t scorching, it just felt… relaxing. The weather well suited the mood and energy emitted from the group of boys. 

“I’m gonna go grab a beer,” Soonyoung says as soon as his foot hit sand and he dashes for it. Wonwoo is left carrying their two towels, sun screen and his book.

“Hey you,” Jun popped up behind Wonwoo, and he bumped shoulders with him. Jun was wearing nothing but navy blue swim trunks, and his skin was already tanner than the last time Wonwoo saw him. His eyes were shielded by sunglasses, but Wonwoo could tell they were smiling at him even though his mouth wasn’t.

“Hey,” Wonwoo smiled softly at him, “I know I said I didn’t wanna do anything today—“

“Yeah, well we like having you here. We were all getting ready to bet Soonyoung would’ve dragged you out anyway so,” he chuckles, “c’mon, my towel is set over here. Are you playing volleyball?”

Jun’s towel is white and black striped, next to a forest green towel that he finds out belongs to Jihoon. He shakes his head no at Jun’s question as he lays his towel to Jun’s left, and then Soonyoung’s to his left. His flips flops come off soon after and he lays down. There’s a slight breeze ruffling his tank top and he can hear the shouts and laughter of the guys. 

“Minghao told me Mingyu was at yours today?” Jun has a curious glint in his brown eyes when he lowers his sunglasses, indicating this was a personal, private matter. 

Wonwoo groans at the thought of Mingyu infiltrating his niche, “Yes. He knows my aunt I guess. She asked him to paint the bathroom a while ago before she left.”

“Ah. How was that?”

Wonwoo grunts, which serves as an answer itself. Jun takes the hint and doesn’t push further. 

“Hey Wonwoo,” Chan approaches him, a volleyball resting between the side of his hip and his wrist, “you wanna be on our team? We got Seokmin and Seungkwan so far!”

“Oh hey,” Wonwoo sits up a bit to give the unfortunate news, “I’m actually not playing today.”

He says it with a little bit of guilt, because it’s Chan and the boy has always been so kind and nice to him. But Chan doesn’t seem to mind.

He laughs jovially, “Alright, I guess it makes it even since Jeonghan and Joshua aren’t playing either. That puts 5 on each side.”

Chan shrugs and then walks off, probably asking the others to be on his team. 

“We’ll still win anyway,” Jun says cooly, “we got Seungcheol and Mingyu.” 

“Really now?” Wonwoo taunts Jun, despite having no doubt about it that they’ll win. He’s seen Seungcheol’s arms when he lifts, and Mingyu (as much as he hates to say it) no doubt has the height for volleyball.

Which, speaking of Mingyu, Wonwoo looks around, catching no sight of a tall, tan, obnoxious figure anywhere. He also doesn’t see Minghao anywhere either. Given the newfound information he’s received from Soonyoung the other night, he can’t help but feel suspicious. 

“Jun,” Wonwoo leans in closer to the dark haired man. He rolls his head over to Wonwoo, humming a “hmm” while watching Seungkwan and Seokmin having an argument that results in a fit of laughter. 

Wonwoo opens his mouth to pry on what’s going on between Mingyu and Minghao, but abruptly shuts his mouth when he remembers Jun’s history with Minghao. What if he wasn’t aware there was something going on between them? It would surely crush his feelings at even the slightest potential of something being there. Wonwoo couldn’t do that to him. 

“Dude. What?” Jun asks him.

“It’s nothing. I was gonna ask if you had sunscreen but I remember I had some.”

“Oh. Got it. Hey do I look tanner?”

“Hey you two!” Soonyoung arrives with an open bottle of beer nearly halfway done. He squats down so he’s closer eye level with Jun and Wonwoo. Wonwoo can see the look on Soonyoung’s face, he looks overly excited to see them together but trying to be covert about it. No matter how many times Wonwoo has explicitly stated there’s nothing going on between them, Soonyoung wasn’t having it. He definitely was _that_ friend. 

“Hey,” Jihoon strolls over, then lightly kicks sand at Soonyoung, “what are you smiling like that at?”

Soonyoung stands up now, completely forgetting about Wonwoo and Jun once he hears Jihoon’s stern voice. His lips are curled in a soft smile, and Jihoon’s are starting to do the same. 

“Hi,” Soonyoung says almost in a whisper to the shorter boy. His hand begins to crawl over to Jihoon’s side to pull him closer. 

They seem to be in a world of their own at that point, speaking only quiet enough for each other to hear. It was near sickening, but cute. Even their damn swimming trunks matched (a bright shade of red with white pinstripes). Jihoon didn’t seem the type to do matching clothes, but when asked by Soonyoung, anything was possible. Wonwoo speaks from experience. When they were kids Soonyoung made Wonwoo be the Luigi to his Mario for Halloween even though he knew he wanted to be an astronaut. It’s a Halloween he wishes to forget but Soonyoung brings it up _every year_. 

While the lovely couple (almost-couple?) were busy fondly gazing at each other, Jun lay there sun tanning and Wonwoo decided to get some reading done. He could hear the rest of the gang not just a couple feet away chattering, Jeonghan was doing animal impersonations last he tuned into their conversations. Oh, plus a seagull had flew by near the eleven of them, and Seokmin gave an extremely high-pitched screech. All the boys laughed, Jun told Wonwoo “after 20 years you think he’d get used to them by now” and Wonwoo snorted. 

The soothing sun was soon gracing him to sleep, the heat always made him more susceptible to naps. He plopped his paperback book over his face as a shield, even though he already had a cap on for that, and began to doze off. As expected, it didn’t last long as the guys all in unison shouted out “you’re late!”. He’s 100% sure they planned that out. He also realizes that probably means Mingyu or Minghao has arrived. When he lifts up the book from his face to see which of the two it is, he really shouldn’t be shocked that it’s the both of them, together. He looks over at Jun, who looks unperturbed. 

“Hey, sorry we’re late. We ended up napping for way too long.”

The messy hair and rumpled clothes easily gave that away. Wonwoo remembers what had happened earlier today, the look on Mingyu’s face after his phone call and how much of a stark contrast it was to now. 

“Finally! We were waiting for you guys to start the game,” Chan claps his hands together and takes the lead to the volleyball court. The rest of the guys (excluding Wonwoo, Jeonghan, and Joshua) all begin to stand up, stretching their legs and arms before the match.

“I know you’re not playing, but technically you’re on our team. So root for us,” Jun says to Wonwoo once he’s done doing a wrist stretch. Wonwoo begins to say he can’t, not with Mingyu on their team, but Jun is already running off to join the rest of the guys, his feet kicking sand up. Which leaves him by himself. 

“Wonwoo!” Jeonghan calls out to him not a second later. Wonwoo turns to see Jeonghan and Joshua sitting together, smiling at him, “come over here.”

They wave him over until he decides to get up and sit with them. 

“You didn’t wanna play either huh?” Jeonghan giggles.

“Nah not really.”

“Who do you think is gonna win?” Joshua asks, drinking from a bubbly orange soda. 

“Jun begged I root for him,” he said, which earned a snicker from the two of them, “so I guess that’s my decision.”

Jeonghan reaches to clap hands with him, “Good decision. Seungcheol’s been so hyped over this all day. My bet goes to his team, too.”

Joshua nods his head, speaking in that honey-sweet voice of his, “Seungkwan really likes volleyball though. I feel like you can have the strength but if you don’t know how the game works... you can’t do much.”

**

And right Joshua was. Despite the seemingly obvious, Chan’s team defeated Seungcheol’s in a close match, 26-24. Wonwoo didn’t watch most of the match, he stopped once Mingyu threw his shirt down in very typical cocky manner, mostly talking to Joshua and Jeonghan whilst also reading his novel during short periods of silence. Although, he saw a couple spikes Jun made, giving him a thumbs up for moral support, and he most definitely recorded when Soonyoung fell flat on his face (as his best friend it was mandatory of him). The winning team (Chan, Seungkwan, Seokmin, Jihoon, and Vernon) huddled together and proceeded to hoist Chan up into the air. The youngest boy is beaming as the sunlight seems to graciously pour right on him when the boys lift him up, and soon enough both teams are carrying him until they jokingly almost throw him into the ocean. 

“Let’s go eat,” Wonwoo hears Seokmin say, and they all follow in pursuit to stuff their faces with the food Joshua, Jeonghan, and Wonwoo had put out during their time idling by.

“You kept hitting the ball out of bounds!” Jeonghan slapped Seungcheol’s chest when he tiredly sprawls himself on his towel. The eldest was short of breath after the intense game, while simultaneously eating a handful of grapes and not paying attention to Jeonghan. The ignored man rolls his eyes, then dumps a cold water bottle on him. 

“Hey!” Seungcheol shouts, and Jeonghan hurriedly stands up and starts running, ensuing a chase from a sprinting Seungcheol. Joshua laughs, shaking his head at the nonsense of his friends. Wonwoo chuckles as well, finding their antics entertaining. After he watches Seungcheol grab Jeonghan and proceed to dump an even larger amount of cold water on him, he searches for Soonyoung and Jun.

When he spots them they look quite defeated, catching their breaths as well when they reach Wonwoo. Despite the loss also hanging on their shoulders, he’s glad Mingyu hadn’t been on the winning team. He seems like the type of person who would probably claim bragging rights for a whole two weeks over winning a friendly volleyball game. 

“Hey, at least the score was close. Good game,” he stands up to pats their shoulders. They both tiredly smile, shrugging over the loss, and Wonwoo knows they’re okay. 

“I still got in a pretty good serve,” Soonyoung pants, pushing the bangs out of his face, “I’m gonna go say good job to Jihoon.”

He leaves the two of them together, and knowing Soonyoung, that was probably the plan all along. Jun trudges along back towards his towel and Wonwoo follows suit. He starts talking about how Sooyoung gets really distracted playing volleyball when Jihoon is playing as well, and that’s _really_ why they lost. 

“Whatever helps you sleep better at night man,” Wonwoo teases Jun, which earns him a light shove. 

“Minghao also seemed out of it,” Jun reflects, and then he looks deep in thought, “I hope he’s okay.”

He twists and turns his head looking for him, and when his face meets Wonwoo’s, his eyebrows are scrunched together. 

“Did you see where he went?” 

When Wonwoo scans the area, he, too, doesn’t see the brunette boy in sight. A good chunk of the boys are all mushed together devouring the food fervently and Seungkwan is singing that song—Wonwoo can’t remember the title—from _Moana_ , but no Minghao. 

Not so coincidentally enough, Mingyu is gone as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if the ending of this chapter seems rushed! i really just wanted to get something out soon and i was getting writer's block with this chapter. as always, comments are much appreciated!
> 
> also side note, their LieV they just did... wonwoo and mingyu laying in bed together... is giving me ideas so.. insert emoji of the pair of eyes
> 
> UPDATE: i've tagged gyuhao out of request but let it be known that it is still very much a meanie story!


	5. haunting, daunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get a little bit of October in July, and Wonwoo's just trying to figure things out.

“So what I’m hearing is… you’re leaving me for the weekend.”

“Wonwoo,” Soonyoung says flatly, crossing his arms over his chest, “you know—“

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I just drove all the way here for the summer for you to ditch me, it’s cool.”

"First of all, _you_ left _me_ first a decade ago if we’re gonna play this game. Second of all, you’re such a sarcastic prick sometimes,” he playfully pushes his best friend when he sees him crack up in laughter, nose scrunching in a typical Wonwoo manner when he’s exceptionally happy. It’s one of Soonyoung’s favorite feats about him.

“And third?” He musters out once he’s done laughing. 

“ _Third_ , I’m literally going to be gone for two days,” he holds out two fingers for emphasis, “Jihoon really wants to go to this concert in the city, and you know how much his music means to him.”

If there’s two things Wonwoo has learned about Jihoon it’s that 1) he’s head over heels for Soonyoung _even if he won’t ever admit it aloud_ and 2) the boy needs music much like how Superman needed the sun. He never suspected Jihoon to be much of a talker, much like Wonwoo himself, but once someone got him talking about music, he could go on and on forever. Not only is he well trained in music theory and composition, the man can nearly play every instrument there is with such grace and ease. Wonwoo was not joking when he said Soonyoung lucked out with Jihoon. The boy is a gem. 

“I know. It’s fine, I just like messing with you,” Wonwoo chortles, setting the PS4 controller down after exiting out of Overwatch. Soonyoung tended to get bored whenever he came over and watched Wonwoo play, which typically led to excessive complaining and rolling around on the carpet. Wonwoo now knows better than to have any video game (maybe except FIFA, Soonyoung liked it particularly because he was better than Wonwoo at it) out when his friend came over.

“I know you do,” he flips himself over face down on Wonwoo’s bed, then continues to speak, though his voice is hardly incomprehensible muffled into the pillow like that. 

“I can’t hear you dude.” 

Soonyoung lifts his face up, gasping for air before he speaks, “I think I’m gonna ask him to be official this weekend.”

“It’s about time.”

“Hey!” He reverts himself to his original sitting position, “I just haven’t had the right moment to. And every time I thought he was going to, it never happened!” Soonyoung pauses for a moment, “Oh my God. Wonwoo. What if he doesn’t wanna date me?”

Wonwoo scoffs, “That’s ridiculous. I’m 99% sure he’s in love with you.”

“What about the other 1%?!” A look of panic flashes over his face comically. 

“In my statistics class I learned you can’t say you’re 100% confident because—“

“Ah never mind, I don’t wanna hear about that. So you’re sure then?”

“Don’t psych yourself out Soonyoung. You know he likes you.”

The words seem to calm Soonyoung, Wonwoo can tell because his lips are starting to form a tiny smile and a look of relief soon washes over his concerned features. He jumps into standing position and does a little dance to show his excitement.

“Alright. Thanks man,” he puts his hands on his hips and snickers, “Well, it looks like you’re gonna have to find a way to survive without me this weekend.”

Wonwoo doesn’t wanna bring up his plans with Jun tomorrow, because he _knows_ Soonyoung will make it out to a bigger deal than it actually is. He can find out later through Snapchat or something. 

“Die I guess,” he says merely as a joke, but Soonyoung doesn’t laugh until a minute later. He makes a joke mocking Soonyoung, and they begin to banter back and forth until they’ve run out of insults and their stomachs hurt from laughing so hard. Once their energy dies down, they’re quiet for a couple minutes, Wonwoo scrolling through the news feed on his phone and Soonyoung humming some tune that resembles some EDM track he heard him play in the car the other day. It’s after a while when an urging thought finally escapes Wonwoo’s lips.

“Hey, are you close with Mingyu?”

Soonyoung doesn’t think much of Wonwoo’s question when he asks, just casually shrugging his shoulders, “Yeah, I’d say we’re pretty close. I mean, not like Minghao and Mingyu, but we’re cool. Why?”

Wonwoo contemplates on diving further into this abyss of Kim Mingyu, but he’s already asked, so might as well go for it. He clears his throat, his feet twisting the desk chair back and forth so he gives himself something to do. 

“He grew up here, right.” He avoids eye contact with Soonyoung, looking out the window to the peaceful, cool Thursday afternoon. It’s mid-day, but the neighborhood seems much quieter than usual. 

It’s more of a statement than a question, but Soonyoung answers anyway, “He did! He lived here when he was younger, moved away for a while, then came back like five—or six?— years ago.”

So he moved out the town? Wonwoo knew Mingyu’s visits to his house had stopped out of nowhere, but he was too busy packing to really even think about it. He had just assumed Mingyu finally took the hint and left him alone. 

“Do you know why he moved away?” He peers over at Soonyoung now, who’s mindlessly flipping through the pages of one of the books from his aunt’s shelf. Laying on his back, his eyes meet Wonwoo’s upside down and he stops playing with the book.

“Uh,” he hesitates, lunging himself upward to face Wonwoo, “kinda.”

The slight tension in the air and uncertainty wavering in Soonyoung’s voice tells Wonwoo that this isn’t going to be well. He can see his friend’s flitting eyes avoiding his, trying to find the right words to say. 

“I was just wondering,” Wonwoo says, putting a faux air of nonchalance, “He said he grew up here and I didn’t believe him.”

He doesn’t want to force Soonyoung to say something he doesn’t feel comfortable saying, and he doesn’t blame him.

Wonwoo quickly changes topics when he sees his phone light up to show a text from their group chat. He ignores that the group chat name has changed to “Seungcheol likes dick” with an eggplant emoji, as it’s the third time Jeonghan’s changed it today (and it’s considerably a lot better than the previous chat name). 

“Chan said ‘let’s go eat’,” Wonwoo reads from his phone, “You hungry?”

Soonyoung’s finger is midway into dipping into Wonwoo’s Nutella jar when his face lights up, “Dude, _yes_.”

**

The boys wind up at Bread & Butter after a solid 30 minutes arguing where to eat (because Vernon wants noodles but Soonyoung wants sushi—they end up letting Jihoon make the deciding call), and the second they step foot into the establishment, Seungcheol and Jeonghan are posted at the front register looking like the definition of lovebirds, like they're swimming in a pool of every Valentines Day card every created, and whatnot. 

“Dude, are we like that?” Vernon whispers to Seungkwan, who audibly gags at the sight of the two.

“Get a room,” Jihoon grumbles. The place is empty (save for a few booths) because it’s that time of the day where everyone’s eaten lunch already and it’s too early for dinner.

“Oh shut up,” Seungcheol rolls his eyes, but he’s still got a smile on his face, “The guys are at the table by the window,” he points them to the general direction, “I’ll be with you guys in a second!”

He resumes his private conversation with Jeonghan, which consists of a lot of giggling and quiet whispering. Seungcheol’s hand is holding onto Jeonghan’s pinky and playing with the ring on it and it’s the purest, softest thing Wonwoo’s ever seen.

When they arrive at the table, Mingyu, Minghao, Chan, and Joshua are already seated and deciding what to eat. Wonwoo has to stop when he sees Mingyu because _that day_ flashes back in his head, and he takes a minute to snap back to reality. Before he knows it, all the seats are filled up except the one next to Mingyu. He sighs, walking over to the seat and avoiding any level of eye contact with Mingyu, choosing to fiddle with his shirt instead.

But just his luck.

“Hi,” Mingyu says. Even though it’s technically been about a week since he’s seen Mingyu, it feels like he’s only seen him just yesterday. 

“Hi,” Wonwoo replies back curtly, adjusting his seat so he’s closer to Vernon, who doesn’t question it (probably because he’s too busy with his eyes glued to some game on his phone). He picks up his menu and draws all his attention to it, maybe then Mingyu wouldn’t bother initiating conversation. 

“Dude guys, guess what just happened?”

Wonwoo looks up and it’s Jun, who looks _even tanner_ than last time he’s seen him. He’s panting, like he was in a rush to get here, with a wide grin cracking his face. He grabs a seat right next to Chan and excitedly leans over the table to look at each of the guys, awaiting a response.

“Well hello to you too,” Soonyoung chuckles.

“What happened?” Wonwoo sets his menu down, genuinely curious as to what Jun has to say.

“You know how there’s that abandoned old shack across the main harbor? Everyone says it’s haunted?” He’s got a look to his face that reads mischief, Wonwoo can see it. Jun always looked like he was up to no good, and knowing him, he would drag everyone down with him. 

“Yeah! Dude, that’s been gated for as long as I can remember,” Chan says first, and all the guys agree in nods. Despite Wonwoo moving away from town for a considerable amount of time, he doesn't forget the old haunted shack everyone used to spread rumors over. Soonyoung used to rave about it all the time. 

“Don’t tell me—“

“Oh yes,” Jun cuts Mingyu off to dangle some keys in front of his face to show everyone. He picks out one in particular and holds it up like it’s holy water given straight from the Lord himself, “I got the keys boys.”

“How did you manage to do that?” Jihoon quirks an eyebrow as Soonyoung tries lunging diagonally for them. He retracts his hand before Soonyoung so much as gets the chance to take them and Minghao snickers.

He leans in closer and double takes their surroundings to make sure no one is eavesdropping (Wonwoo snorts, the place is near empty and no one even looks like they’re mildly interested in what Jun is saying). 

Jun speaks in a hushed voice, “My parents wanna build a dock out there for some more boat rentals. The town council gave them permission along with the keys to the shack. Which my parents then gave to me to check out,” he’s got his devil smirk on and before he even has the chance to ask, Seungkwan slams his hand on the table.

“Seungkwan! Why would you do that?!!” Seokmin says, clutching his heart at the sudden noise.

“Okay, no,” Seungkwan says, ignoring Seokmin (Vernon apologizes on his behalf), “do you want to die? They say a guy who went to ‘check it out’ once never came back.”

“What are you kids talking about,” Seungcheol approaches the table, his fingers intertwined with Jeonghan’s. 

“Seungcheol! You’d be down for this. The haunted shack across—“

“Oh hell no. Hell. No.”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes and takes a seat next to Jun, “He’s such a baby. What are we talking about?”

“The haunted shack. Like _the_ haunted shack,” Soonyoung tells him, “Jun’s got keys.”

“Let’s go tonight,” Vernon suggests, and both a chorus of “yes”’s and “no”’s are heard from the table.

“Vernon,” Seungkwan starts whining, “please don’t do this I _know_ you’re gonna get scared.”

“It’ll be fun if we all go together!”

“He’s got a point,” Jeonghan shrugs, then turns to look at Seungcheol with a wink, “come on, you can hold my hand the entire time.”

All the boys groan at that.

“Okay, okay, okay, so if go, we’re all going together?” Chan says for confirmation.

Wonwoo watches all the boys nod their heads, looking amongst each other, and soon enough he’s nodding his head as well. 

Mingyu shimmies his chest in excitement, “Oooo, this sounds like so much fun!”

**

They all meet at Jun’s place after the sun sets. It’s a chilly night, Wonwoo had to throw on a sweater over his long sleeve the second he stepped outside. The moon crept up high against the midnight sky by the time all the boys have made it to Jun’s, shining just enough light for Wonwoo to see everyone’s faces. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and tucks his hands in his sweatpants pockets.

“You excited man?” Vernon asks him, gritting his teeth when a cold breeze travels through.

He shrugs, a smile splaying on his lips, “Yeah, I guess. I think the scariest part will be paddling there if anything.”

The two look at Jun and Seungcheol who are preparing the small row boats for the thirteen of them. Jun didn’t want to draw too much attention to them, so they opted on using the smaller boats for their mode of transportation. Unfortunately that meant everyone had to split up into small groups, which displeases Seokmin the most. 

“Goddammit Hansol Vernon Chwe,” Seungkwan stomps over to him and clutches his arm, “I hate you for making me do this. I don’t wanna die tonight.”

Seungkwan’s bundled up in a thick jacket over another sweater, sweatpants, a beanie that covers past his ears, and two pairs of socks on. It almost looks like he can’t comfortably move with the amount of layers he’s got on.

“Hey Seungkwan,” Wonwoo speaks, stepping closer to the younger boy, “there’s this old Latin expression, ’memento mori’.”

Seungkwan scrunches his brows, tucking himself closer to his boyfriend, “Yeah, what does it mean?”

He puts on a face dead serious when he looks Seungkwan in the eye, “Remember that you must die.”

Vernon busts out laughing at that, and Wonwoo joins him when he sees Seungkwan’s face expression contort to that of fear. He also hears Mingyu giggle at that, but he pays no attention to it.

Seungkwan stomps around like a little kid, shaking Vernon’s arm, “Why would you say that?” 

Wonwoo shrugs.

“C’mon Seungkwan, he’s just messing with you. We’ll be fine, we won’t die. At least not tonight anyway.”

“I hate you. _Both_ of you.”

“Alright," Seungcheol announces, grabbing everyone's attention, "so there will be three boats with three people, two boats with two people. Let’s not fight over—“

“We call Mingyu!” Seungkwan shouts, shooting his hand up in the air along with Vernon’s. 

“Not cool,” Seokmin complains, Chan agreeing next to him. 

“If anyone knows anything about survival it’s Mingyu,” Soonyoung laughs, “Jihoon and I will take one of the two seat boats."

Wonwoo wants to go and ask Jun if they can partner up, but Minghao rotates a full 180 to face him first, "hey, you wanna share a boat?”

Just to be sure, the raven haired boy looks behind him to make sure Minghao is indeed talking to him, it’s dark out after all, but when he sees no one else near him, and Minghao laughing at his reaction, he confirms he was speaking to him.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure,” he feels awkward, and he’s not sure why but it is his first time talking one-on-one with Minghao and with everything he knows he almost can’t help feeling… strange.

“‘Kay, cool. We can also take…” 

The two of them look around, but it looks like the rest of them have already assigned themselves into groups of three's.

“Looks like you guys will get the other two-seater,” Jun says, handing them their paddles, “remember to keep balance when rowing.”

“Thanks,” Minghao takes it from Jun’s hand and passes one to Wonwoo, all while the two of them share a look (Wonwoo can’t read their expressions). And then Jun clears his throat and heads to join Chan and Seokmin. 

“Alright, let’s go!” Minghao says, leading the way to the boat. He takes the seat in the back while Wonwoo sits up front. 

“Last one there has to enter the shack first!” Jeonghan shouts, flickering his tiny flashlight at everyone. 

“ _Of course_ we gotta make this a competition. C’mon Wonwoo, we can’t be last,” Minghao finds a comfortable sitting position as the boys wait until Jihoon finishes the countdown. Wonwoo’s not huge on exercise, but he certainly doesn’t wanna be the first ones to go into the shack so he rolls up his sleeves and gears up. 

“…1!” Jihoon shouts, and the four boats take off.

**

Ironically enough, Jeonghan’s team gets to the shore last. Despite their being less hands to push, Wonwoo and Minghao had it quite easy since they only needed to balance the two of them, same as Jihoon and Soonyoung. They arrive there a second after the other pair, and third comes Mingyu’s boat (“We got a poor start!” Seungkwan argues) Wonwoo was thankful the ride wasn’t too long, and his conversation with Minghao consisted mostly of “push” and “you doing okay back there?”

The other side of the harbor seems to emit a completely different aura compared to where they rowed from. It almost felt like the moon shone less here, a more ominous feel so haunting that it even gave Wonwoo the chills. Not to mention the stench of something horrid, Wonwoo can’t figure out what it reminds him of. He tugs the sleeves of his sweater all the way down to create sweater paws and shivers.

“This feels like an episode off the Twilight Zone,” he comments mindlessly. Minghao agrees, humming along the theme song of said TV show quietly. 

“Alright, so…. what we meant was, first one to _arrive_ has to lead the way to the shack,” Jeonghan nervously chuckles as the three of them hop of their boat, tying it to a small wooden post like everyone else’s. 

“You three are the oldest, it only makes sense,” Seungkwan says, clutching Vernon’s hand. Next to him Seokmin looks like he’s near shaking, any loud noise would set the poor boy off. Wonwoo sees Soonyoung and Jihoon pat his back and say they’ll walk through it with him. 

“Alright kids,” Seungcheol takes in a heavy breath, and then exhales, “let’s all just keep our cool when going in. If we stick together it should be fine.”

“Let’s go, let’s go!” Jun bounces, his teeth chittering rapidly. A sheen of cold sweat from the rowing is apparent on his face, and he looks like the living embodiment of adrenaline. Despite being the first to arrive, he begins to lead the way to the shack with Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua. 

“You scared?” Wonwoo asks Minghao as they begin walking down the gravel-paved path. 

“Eh, not really I guess,” he pauses for a moment, “Jun really likes this kinda stuff though.”

Wonwoo nods his head, kicking the rocks in his way, “I can tell.”

“I do like scaring Mingyu though,” he chuckles softly, “he can scream so loud sometimes.”

Wonwoo doesn’t react to that, just watches the back of Mingyu’s head in front of them. He’s talking to Chan about something, he can’t exactly catch what he’s saying, but he’s got a dopey smile on his face and Chan is laughing so hard it looks like he might fall. Wonwoo hates how captivated everyone is with Mingyu’s presence. 

“So. How are you liking it here? And like, the guys and whatnot,” Minghao looks at him curiously, like he has an ulterior motive. Minghao seemed more of a “to-the-point” kinda guy, so it’s taken Wonwoo by surprise that he’s dwindling around his intentions, beating around the bush.

“It’s nice. Everyone’s really nice,” he says, of course, ignoring his feelings towards a _certain someone_ , “yeah, it’s been really fun so far.”

Minghao continues kicking more rocks, “Yeah Soonyoung’s been hyping you up for years man. I know you’ve heard this already but it’s really cool to have you here and to finally meet you.”

It’s not that his kindness is uncharacteristic, Wonwoo’s seen Minghao be kind. He’s a nice guy, he’s a bit stubborn sometimes, but nice. But Wonwoo remembers that look on Mingyu’s face when Minghao called him that day, and it leaves an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. Nevertheless he thanks him, and they walk in silence for a while.

“I see you and Jun have gotten quite close,” Minghao finally speaks, and his words are laced with _something_ , something that makes Minghao guarded—does he feel threatened? Wonwoo thinks Minghao is trying to sound like he doesn’t care, like he’s unaffected. But his refusal to look Wonwoo in the eye tells him otherwise. 

Wonwoo scratches his head, “Uh, yeah. I mean… yeah. I guess we’ve been hanging out.”

Minghao merely nods his head, now looking up ahead rather than down at the ground. If Wonwoo traced his line of vision he guesses he’d be looking at Jun. 

“Hey slowpokes! Hurry up,” Mingyu calls out to them. The rest of the group is significantly ahead, but they begin to slow down until they meet Minghao and Wonwoo at the same pace. Seungkwan and Seokmin are singing a song to help calm their nerves and it appears as if Jun is coming up with some sort of game plan for when they arrive. 

Wonwoo can’t think of anything but his brief interaction with Minghao, what that meant and why he asked. He thinks back to what Soonyoung told him about Jun and Minghao, and he wonders why they broke up, what happened between them, and how bad was it if they were still hanging out like nothing happened? What does that mean, if it even means anything? And then he remembers Mingyu and Minghao. Soonyoung’s words ring in his ear distinctively, _I think they’re just fucking_ … _friends with benefits_. And Wonwoo has nothing against that kind of relationship, but why did Mingyu look like a jack-o-lantern, carved hollow without a light shining within, when Minghao called that day? How does he fit into this, _why_ does he fit into this? 

The more he thinks about it, the more clueless he realizes he is. There’s an entire history he’s missing between them, amongst the entire group. He thinks back to earlier today, Soonyoung knowing Mingyu’s story, one that seems so intangible, so out of reach for him. The distance, that gap in time from when Wonwoo was gone, it makes him feel quite lonely. 

When he looks up, he realizes he is literally alone as well. 

“You good?”

He whips his head and sees Mingyu standing right next to him. He mentally slaps his head, wondering why the universe hates him so for putting him in unfortunate conditions.

“What do you mean?” Wonwoo's immediate response is to give him the cold shoulder, he’s so used to it by now. 

“I dunno, you just stopped out of nowhere,” he chuckles, “too much walking for you?”

The teasing lilt in his voice never fails to tick Wonwoo off. He continues right past him to join the rest. He’d rather deal with Minghao’s odd behavior and silent judgement than spend a second with Mingyu.

“Hey wait!” Mingyu calls out, then runs up to him, “I’m just kidding dude. Can’t you take a joke?”

Wonwoo ignores him.

“Alright well then,” he kicks rocks just like Minghao does, “Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo eyes shift over to Mingyu’s, and the boy is just looking up at the stars like he’s never seen them before. They’re less clear on this side of town, due to the fog, but they’re still evident. A dim light in the dusk of the night. They reflect back on Mingyu’s eyes; Wonwoo turns away. 

“I feel like you don’t like me,” he muses, and there's no malice in his words, but it throws Wonwoo off. In hindsight, it really shouldn’t. Wonwoo makes his dislike for Mingyu so apparent, especially to the boy himself, that Mingyu has every reason to call him out on it. Wonwoo supposes he never really thought about the day he would.

“You don’t?” Mingyu asks him this time, because Wonwoo hasn’t said anything to the statement but now with a question he almost feels forced into speaking. The winds are picking up now, blowing the same direction they’re headed. Somehow it feels like they’re taking up his lungs and pushing the words out of him. 

“You don’t,” Mingyu finds the words for him, because he still can’t speak, “you just don’t want to say it because I’m Soonyoung’s friend and you don’t want Soonyoung to know.”

“That’s--” 

“How come you don’t you like me?” 

And he sounds insecure now, a far contrast from his mocking, gaudy voice he usually bears. He also sounds desperate, desperate for an answer, for reason. And maybe it's because everyone adores Mingyu, maybe he's just not used to this behavior he's receiving. Wonwoo almost feels guilty for having such a distaste for the younger. Except before Wonwoo even has a chance to think of what to say, his mind going in all sorts of knots and twists and thoughts sparking and bouncing off the walls of his head, he sees that the rest of the guys are already walking into the shack. 

“They’re already going in,” he tells Mingyu dumbfounded, pointing at the boys, and Mingyu’s head snaps up to see if it’s true. His jaw slacks at the sight, because indeed the boys went in without even a glance at the two left behind. 

“So much for sticking together,” he retorts, then laughs because there’s not much else to say between the two of them. They could both run and easily catch up with the group, but Mingyu doesn’t suggest it, so Wonwoo doesn’t either. He justifies this by his aversion towards running. If he didn't need to, he wouldn't bother. 

They don't speak to each other after that, only the sound of gravel meeting shoes and the hoots from a nearby owl and the crickets chirping to fill the silence. Except Wonwoo is enticed to ask Mingyu everything about him that's infiltrating his mind and preventing him from having his normal (for lack of better word) thoughts. It's like a big red button that's so  _so_ tempting to press. 

Wonwoo thinks "fuck it" and goes for it.

“You’re close with Minghao?" 

He hates himself instantly for asking, he’d prefer silence with Mingyu since most of what he utters somehow manages to fuse his temper. He’s not even sure where he’s going with this. Usually his words and his course of actions are so carefully thought out before execution, but that principle seems to defy Mingyu. It’s also close to midnight, he hasn’t had his caffeine at all today, and they’re embarking on some strange journey reminiscent of a dozen shitty teen horror films to check out an old abandoned haunted shack. So yeah, he’s a bit out of it than usual. 

“Yeah,” is all Mingyu replies with, and he’s back to looking at the stars again. His concise response seems to be packed with pressure, like it’s weighing Mingyu down like an anchor to a boat and Wonwoo can feel a frown tugging on his lips. He shakes himself out of it and looks up at the stars as well, but the fog shrouds his lenses. 

“Hey, how do you know Soonyoung?” And Wonwoo knows Mingyu’s switching topics, but he can’t really say anything because he had done it earlier. When he looks back at the man, his normal demeanor resurfaces, like he wasn’t just displaying an off-kilter vibe a second ago. 

“I met him in school when we were kids,” he answers this time, wiping the water vapor from his lenses with his sweater. He feels Mingyu’s gaze at him while he does this. 

“When did you leave town?”

“Are we playing 20 questions or something?”

They two finally reach the house, stepping into the porch and ignoring the creaky sound the floor boards make, and how cold the air feels, and how isolated they feel from everyone else. The breeze from the sea follows them inside, making the house sound like it were howling. 

“Just curious,” Mingyu shrugs, “I don’t really know anything about you.”

“Right. I don’t know much about you either,” and every thought of Mingyu he’s ever had seeps in again, and he doesn’t know what to do. 

They can vaguely hear the shouts from the boys, the sounds of their footsteps thump loudly from above. Every step made is followed with a loud whine from the ancient wood floors, and old documents fly everywhere in a flurry with the wind. The place is barren mostly, deserted rooms and shattered glass, some battered oars and boat equipment scattered. 

“This isn’t too scary,” Mingyu whispers scanning left and right. Wonwoo is too caught up in his thoughts to even remember they’re going through a haunted building. It’s not until he hears Joshua ( _Joshua_ of all people. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard the boy speak louder than library volume level) shriek over Jeonghan scaring him. Which reminds Wonwoo...

“I think Minghao is gonna try and scare you,” Wonwoo warns him, just based off Minghao’s words earlier, and the wicked smile on his face that came soon after he said them. Mingyu’s eyes widen and he immediately wears a look of caution as he takes each step forward. Wonwoo thinks it’s quite funny. They pass by some broken windows in bedrooms and old dusty furniture, but nothing horrific. The paint on the walls were nearly stripped completely, and dark-dyed tapestries were falling apart.

“You’re not scared?” Mingyu asks him, carefully peering around. 

“Not really,” he says. They hear a groan, quiet at first, and then loud.

“Sh….shh… do you hear that?” Mingyu stops in his tracks and his eyes dart around to try and catch anything.

“First of all, I wasn’t saying anything,” he snaps at the younger, “and yes, I did. That’s probably just the wind.”

“No no, there’s a presence.”

“Please, _shut up_. It’s the wind.”

Then the groan comes again. 

“Wonwoo.”

Mingyu sounds actually terrified. Wonwoo sighs, turning around to see if he can see anything, but to no avail. He can only spot Mingyu, shaking like a leaf in the fall. It’s so cold he can see the little cloud that forms every time they exhale. Wonwoo pays attention to that until he finds words to say. 

“Here, let me use my phone flashlight,” Wonwoo moves to grab his iPhone from his pocket, but Mingyu stops his hand once his head processes what he’s doing.

“No, don’t,” he says in a low whisper, his dark, frenzy eyes meeting Wonwoo’s own.

“Why not?” He pulls his hand away from Mingyu’s grasp, he was holding on far too tightly.

“I’m scared what we’ll see,” he admits with no shame whatsoever. 

Wonwoo sighs, hearing the faint noises from some of the guys above them, “Okay, let’s just go meet up with the—“

The front door closes shut abruptly and Mingyu shrieks, jumping closer to Wonwoo. He doesn’t grab his hand this time though. Wonwoo can feel the heat of his body so close to his and even without touching, the warmth he emits inexplicably hugs him. Wonwoo finds it quite comfortable.

“Calm down, it’s just the wind,” he tells him, while also slightly convincing himself because that was a _tad freaky_ , then advances closer to the living room. There’s a large tree dancing with the wind outside the frosty windows and at first glance the moving shadow it reflects looks like a ghost. Wonwoo decides not to bring Mingyu in there.

“We’re going upstairs,” he says in a steady tone, because maybe if he’s cool, calm, and collected, Mingyu will be too, “come on.”

But Mingyu can’t move. 

“Hey, come on,” he beckons him, and thoughts of moving Mingyu himself tempt him.

Mingyu looks up to the second floor, but it’s only _dark, dark, dark,_ and the echoes of every tiny sound resonates against the walls, the familiar voices of their friends even sound spooky, they sound like ghosts, and it doesn’t help that a screeching noise soon follows. Mingyu vigorously shakes his head. 

“Y-you can… you can go up ahead. I’ll be here,” he says in a voice so soft of a whisper, Wonwoo is surprised he even hears it. The boy is terrified, he looks _petrified_ , like he’s going to suffer long nightmares from this for days. Wonwoo thinks if he were with Minghao, or any of the other boys for that matter, maybe this situation would’ve been better for Mingyu. Unfortunately for him, he’s stuck with the one person who cannot seem to tolerate him.

“You’re gonna be more scared down here all by yourself then up there,” Wonwoo tells him, “Upstairs we’ll at least be together.”

He pauses for a moment after realizing his statement, then flusters a bit trying to correct himself, “Like… together with the rest of the guys, I mean. C’mon, let’s just go.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Mingyu,” his voice softens unconsciously, he doesn’t even realize it until it’s come out. 

“Wonwoo,” he replies back, his name pouring out his lips in the darkness. Wonwoo gives Mingyu a long hard look. A rose-pink color stains his cheeks due to the cold air and there’s a glint in his eyes that seem to be the only light in this godforsaken place. Wonwoo wonders what Mingyu sees when he looks at him. The thought is short-lived, escaping as soon as Wonwoo notices a large family photo framed and hung on the wall right behind Mingyu. It’s arguably the only pristine-condition item that seems to be left in the building. He adjusts his glasses on his face (mostly out of habit) and squints his eyes to get a better look. 

“What are you…?” Mingyu turns around and sees the family portrait as well, “oh shit, I didn’t even notice that.”

They both just stare are the portrait for a while, Mingyu muttering something about the figures moving if you stare long enough. 

“Do you know them or something?” Mingyu asks him, and he sounds better, less vulnerable thus less worry for Wonwoo to carry on his shoulders. 

“No. Just curious is all.” 

“Oh. Man this place is giving me the—“ Mingyu’s sentence is cut short with a scream that’s surely going to ring in Wonwoo’s ears for a while. He quickly turns around and slightly jumps as well when he sees a figure standing there, still like a statue. Without a second of hesitation Wonwoo has his arm out to defend Mingyu, while Mingyu has retreated just a tiny amount (like half of an inch really) behind him. It takes his eyes a while to adjust and he distinguishes the familiar face. Minghao.

“Damn, I didn’t even need to do anything,” Minghao cackles, enjoying himself as Mingyu freaks out with a series of “oh my God” and “shit, shit, shit, shit”. Wonwoo quickly drops his hand that’s still in front of Mingyu before anyone notices. 

“Minghao! What the hell!” Mingyu lightly shoves him, “Why were you just standing there?!”

“I wanted to scare you guys. I sure am stealthy, huh?” He smirks, then claps his hands together, which also scares the already alarmed and panicky Mingyu, “I was checking one of the bedrooms down here and heard you guys coming in. Perfect opportunity to make you piss your pants.”

“I told you he was gonna scare you,” Wonwoo mumbles, his heartbeat gradually slowing down to it’s normal pace. He grabs his phone to see if he can get ahold of Soonyoung, but there seems to be no service where they are. 

“Perfect,” he mumbles, the only information he can get is that it’s already 1:25am. His feet feel heavy and his face feels damp thanks to the overclouding mist that has protruded the shack. It’s only been a little over an hour since they've been out, but all Wonwoo wants to do is go home. 

Soon enough, Vernon and Seungkwan come dashing down the stairs, the white of their eyes and trembling hands indicate they did not witness something pleasant. Before they have the chance to explain themselves, Seokmin comes running down screaming, nearly tripping over his own feet, and he’s out the front door without a word. Mingyu grabs the closest thing near him, which so happens to be Minghao’s hand. Wonwoo wonders if that would have been his if Minghao weren’t here. 

“There’s a… t-there’s a…” Seungkwan is panting, trying to catch his breath whilst also trying to control the tears about to spill from his eyes. 

“There’s _something_ up there, a ghost, a monster, who knows. We gotta get the hell out of here,” Vernon frets and his skin looks so pale, Wonwoo notes, he starts to get goosebumps just glimpsing at him. The duo run past the three of them without waiting for any questions to join Seokmin outside.

The waterworks soon begin to take over Mingyu as well as he begins to process all that’s happening, “I’ve seen Stranger Things. I know how this goes. We’re all gonna get stuck in the Upside Down.”

Minghao laughs again, he has a habit of hitting Mingyu’s chest when he laughs, and he composes himself again, “Dude, I’m pretty sure that’s just Jun trying to scare the shit out of everyone.”

“Well mission accomplished. You two are so similar, why don’t you just go join him?” He’s got an underlying bite to his tone, a tone burdened by unresolved issues and pent up frustration. Wonwoo’s never seen this side of the other before, all he can do is lift an eyebrow and begin to back away slowly.

“Hey, whoa. I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be mad,” Minghao says, gentle this time, and he sounds genuinely apologetic when he speaks to Mingyu. 

Wonwoo thinks they’ve forgotten he’s here, and he wonders _what is he even still doing standing there, sticking out like a sore thumb_ before Soonyoung and Jihoon come racing down the stairs, in a fit of laughter while shouting “oh the horror! The horror!”. They’re buzzing with excitement, what this whole trip was _supposed_ to be, what it should’ve been, but now Wonwoo is stuck in the middle of a lover’s quarrel and he feels awkward and useless. It comes as no surprise that Soonyoung and Jihoon take no notice of the three of them, just running until they’re outside with the rest. 

“They’re clearly having fun,” Wonwoo dryly remarks. The two boys look at him as if they’ve just acknowledged his presence. When Wonwoo catches a glimpse of Mingyu’s eyes, for just a fleeting moment they look void of any emotion, any feeling, any _anything_ , just like the last time, and if it weren’t dark before, it’s certainly dark now. 

Wonwoo feels sick. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if y'all didn't see the update in the last chapter, i'll say it again! i tagged gyuhao out of request, and please don't hesitate to let me know if you want things tagged as well!!! hopefully you enjoyed this one, it's a little halloweeny lol
> 
> did any of you play sevenscheme on twitter btw?? i didn't play but it looked like a lot of fun!


	6. sick days, sick daze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo suffers from the common cold, and Mingyu's there to help.

When Wonwoo wakes up the following morning, sneezing and in a terrible fit of nasty coughs (he sounds like his chainsmoker uncle), he automatically feels miserable. In fact, he feels worse than miserable, he feels gross, chilly, congested, and just downright _uncomfortable_. Not to mention early signs of an impending headache that he knows will hit him hard. He sighs, writhing around and kicking his feet angrily against his sheets for letting himself get sick. 

He grabs layers and layers of blankets to drown himself in from the closet, throwing them on top of the bed and then sidling in beneath all of them. Mochi has curled up aside him, her form of comfort and reassurance, but even then Wonwoo still feels dreadful. He frustratedly gets out of bed again, finding a beanie to wear because his ears are freezing, as well as finding his aunt’s warm mist humidifier to help him breathe easier. 

It’s only 10am. He can’t even imagine surviving the rest of this horrid day. 

Fortunately Netflix exists, and he’s been meaning to catch up on his favorite TV shows, so what better time than now? When he sends Jun a text telling him he’ll have to cancel plans because he feels like absolute shit, he’s not surprised the message gets relayed to Soonyoung, who, without warning, FaceTimes him. He pauses the episode of _Black Mirror_ to take the call. 

“Hey,” Wonwoo says groggily, running his hand through his hair with his free hand after sitting up on his bed. It’s the first time this morning he’s seeing how he looks and he nearly cringes at the sight. 

“WONWOO,” Soonyoung’s loud voice booms, his face way too close to the camera. 

He retracts his hand away to put some distance between him and his phone since Soonyoung decided to be _so damn loud_ , and now his head is pounding. 

“Soonyoung—”

“Are you dying? Are you okay? Why didn’t you tell me, I can’t believe you told Jun first, how long have I—”

Wonwoo sighs, “Soonyoung. I’m fine. I just caught a cold, not pneumonia. And aren’t you driving?"

Soonyoung flips the camera to show the car parked somewhere off the freeway, the sound of cars zooming past them loud and clear. He pans his phone camera over to Jihoon, who throws up a peace sign and a small smile. 

He flips the camera back to front view, and it’s still way too close to his face.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Jihoon and I can turn back around, we have more than enough time before the concert starts and—”

It’s the third time Wonwoo’s interrupts his friend, but oh well.

“No, don’t do that,” he lets out a sneeze, to which Soonyoung grimaces, “you guys have fun. Honestly, I’ll be fine.”

Soonyoung hesitates for a bit, obviously worried about his friend, but eventually gives in knowing Wonwoo won’t budge, “Alright then. I wish I were there to help… Just stay warm and rest up, okay?”

“I will mom,” he rolls his eyes.

Soonyoung seems unfazed by the nickname, like it’s been one too many times before and pouts, “Feel better Wonwoo. We’ll see you soon!”

“Get well soon!” Jihoon chimes in after him. 

They bid each other goodbye, Wonwoo telling them to get lots of pictures and videos, and once he’s hung up he replaces the phone in his hand with soft tissues to blow his stuffy nose. 

When he resumes the episode, it only takes him about five minutes before he decides staring at a computer screen was really not helping his raging headache. So he closes it shut and stares up at the wall, feeling utterly incapable of doing anything. 

As he lays there, sick and fatigued, listening to nothing but the silent purrs from Mochi and the ticking of the clock, he begins to think about his time spent here so far. For the past few weeks, he’s found himself occupied with the guys. His days consisted of long, long hours out in the sun, which never appealed to Wonwoo prior to coming here, but they make the hours go by so fast.  And even once the sun comes down, they still find something to do, there’s _always_ something to do (even if it’s quite literally nothing—“Doing nothing with other people is better than doing nothing alone!” Vernon had said), and in some odd sense it’s not as draining as Wonwoo imagines it would’ve been. He particularly likes the quieter hours of the night, the AM hours, when they’re all slumped out in someone’s house and talking about anything that comes to mind. The vibes are peaceful, and all feels right in the world. Time doesn’t seem to exist when they’ve reached this point, clocks no longer becoming relevant simply because they have each other. 

Overall, he’s merged with the group at a fast pace, and with such ease no less. It’s pretty impressive, given that it always took time for him to assimilate with new people. It was a concern of his early in the summer, that he wouldn’t get along with any of Soonyoung’s friends or they’d just be too different. But they all were friendly, they always made him feel welcome and never hesitated to invite him. Sometimes they persisted so much, wanting to get to know him better and whatnot. He remembers Jeonghan showing up at his front door with some coffee from his work and insisted on watching a romantic comedy with him. Eventually, Joshua, Vernon, and Seokmin had joined along, and then the remainder of the guys another two hours later. 

He’s spent a great amount of time with Jun mostly, and he’s grown quite fond of him. They’re not complete polar opposites, but they have their differences. Wonwoo finds it particularly intriguing how invested Jun seems to be in boats and sailing, a subject matter Wonwoo knows frankly nothing about. But he likes other things, too. He knows kung fu, and pretty damn well at that. Jun had shown Wonwoo a bunch of old videos of him in competitions, much to his amazement.  Wonwoo’s also noticed that aside from one-on-one conversations with others, Jun is rather quiet. There are periods in the day where Wonwoo and Jun sit together and don’t say much, a silence Wonwoo very much appreciates. He had invited Wonwoo over to his apartment once and all the two did was read books. But on the other hand, Jun’s mischief fuels a fiery passion in him, and in turn, Wonwoo gets wrapped up in his antics. Last night being a good example of that, and now Wonwoo’s suffering from the repercussions of that. He silently curses Jun (although it not technically being his fault).

His time with the guys have also suspended his normally looming thoughts of his future, going back home and actually facing reality. Being out and about with company has given him less time to delve into that topic, and Wonwoo finds himself purposefully procrastinating by busying himself with plans. He allows himself not to worry too much still, but he becomes increasingly more and more aware of the end of summer as the days go by.

Nevertheless, he’s still living quite blissfully back in his hometown. He’s made more than two handfuls of new friends; got enough sleep to last him a year, and then some; he’s free from the constrains of his mom; and especially, away from the loud, bustling environment of the city, all the flashy neon lights, the crowds of people swarming about with set destinations, etc. Thoughts of the city made his shoulders tense and send his head throbbing. So yeah, being here felt like paradise compared to that. 

And Wonwoo would say he’s basically residing on cloud nine, floating freely and peacefully without a care. Except, for one _teeny tiny_ issue. Except he’s not really teeny tiny, he’s actually quite tall, tall enough to make himself feel small. And he can’t exactly pin point what exactly ticks him off about Kim Mingyu. There are moments where he is exceptionally annoying, saying things out of pocket and exuding an air of presumptuous cockiness. But there are also moments where he’s quite nice, actually _very_ nice, doing things for others or providing any help of some sorts. If anyone needed anything, or even if they didn't, Mingyu was there to offer his hands, or legs. For some reason, those moments tend to annoy Wonwoo the most. He can’t just be so… _him_. But everyone seems to like him, even his aunt had called to ask about the paint job he had done and then went on for a good hour talking about Mingyu. It’s _frustrating_.

What tops it all off is that damn flirtatious behavior he pulls off without blinking a single eye. Mingyu probably came out the womb perfecting his wink and knowing how to perform pick up lines with such expert skill. Nothing seemed to stop him once he was going. The other day Mingyu’s victim was the girl pulling up next to them in the parking lot. She was trying to squeeze in between Seungcheol’s car and another and Mingyu had offered to do it for her, the hero complex in him just _had to do it._ Eventually Wonwoo was standing there with a noticeable scoff on his face, his arms crossed like an angry mother, while Mingyu and the pretty girl were laughing and squealing over trivial things. Wonwoo tries to keep his peripherals away from the interaction, nothing bothers him more than another one of Mingyu’s victims allured to his so-called “charm”, but even just listening to it was setting his ears on fire. And Mingyu turns back to face the guys once she leaves, and they all roll their eyes with a grin over it as guys do (Seungcheol had called him a wolf), and Mingyu flashes a winningly smile. Wonwoo would rather watch paint dry.

And then, there are the two very brief moments Wonwoo has witnessed where Mingyu seems to lack any emotion whatsoever, just a void of a human being. An unnerving feeling courses through Wonwoo’s body when he remembers the look on Mingyu’s face last night. How could someone so full of life and energy (no matter how irritating he may be with all of it) somehow switch so easily, like the press of a button, into cold hands and dull eyes; lifeless and so unlike everything Mingyu normally embodies. _How?_ It just didn’t make sense. 

Wonwoo adjusts his position on his bed, yanking the now messy white sheets out from underneath him and laying them over him properly. Mochi leaps from his side to his stomach with a purr and Wonwoo instantly welcomes her, beginning to ponder over the events that occurred last night. 

On the way back, Wonwoo asked Soonyoung if he could share a boat with him and Jihoon. He didn’t want to meddle between Minghao and Mingyu, who both seemed to shut down for the rest of the night after their argument. They didn’t leave in good terms either—while usually Wonwoo noticed them arrive and depart together, they went separate ways last night. Wonwoo remembers Mingyu trudging back with slumped shoulders to his shared apartment with Jun looking anything but pleasant, and hadn’t even said goodbye to anyone before shutting the door. When Jeonghan asked Minghao what was up with him, Minghao shrugged and got into his car. 

He tries not to think about it, he really tries not to. But last night’s incident had paved so many questions, and Wonwoo (depisite saying he didn’t want to meddle) needed answers. He’s prickling with curiosity, his mind won’t seem to think about anything else other than what the hell is going on.

So.

Mingyu is obviously upset with Minghao, that much he already knows. If Wonwoo didn’t know any better he’d say it was because of the silly prank Minghao pulled. But there was something beyond something so surface level, it only seemed like that was the last straw that finally made Mingyu go off, like a ticking bomb waiting, waiting. And once Wonwoo pieced everything together, it all came down to one single sentiment. 

Mingyu was jealous of Jun. 

“Does he like Minghao?” Wonwoo mumbles, with a tilt of his head. It seems pretty reasonable, given how close they are and how upset he had gotten when Minghao brought up Jun. This is all starting to resemble a chick flick movie, the drama, the romantic triangle, etc. And maybe that explains Mingyu’s behavior when he had brought up Minghao before. Wonwoo’s head can’t wrap around this entire _thing_ , whatever it is. 

The growling of his stomach pulls him out of his thoughts, and he decides maybe that’s enough thinking of this matter for today. All he has is questions, so many questions, his mind desperate to find answers. But that required talking to Mingyu, and he didn’t want to give the boy the slightest idea that he, well… cared. 

Wonwoo coughs into his elbow a few times before rising from his bed. His stomach continued to rumble and although not having the biggest appetite, he knew the rumbling would soon enough bother him. He’s not very good at cooking, something he learned quite well during his time in university, which was very unfortunate since soup sounded enticing with the chills he was getting. However, his aunt didn’t have any of the easy canned soup stuff he typically resorted to. He sighs for the umpteenth time today, scratching his head and opening up various cabinets to find anything that wouldn’t upset his stomach and help him fight off this cold. As he’s shuffling along the kitchen, he catches a figure outside the window, posted right by his front door. He has to do a double take, even with his glasses on, because he isn’t able to tell at first given the reflection of the light and the white curtains moving along with the breeze block his line of vision

His eyes widen the slightest once he detects noticeable features. 

It’s Mingyu.

His mind suddenly feels like question marks and exclamation points swirling about, his hands start to get clammy (and he’s blaming it on the sickness, certainly not anything else) and he closes the fridge door shut. Mingyu’s simply _standing there_ , staring down at something, Wonwoo can’t place what it is, but he’s not making a single noise or movement. His back faces Wonwoo, thus he’s unable to get an idea of what the man is even thinking or doing, so he struts over to the front door and opens it without Mingyu having to knock.

“What are you doing here?” He asks with without the smallest ounce of hesitation, because a visit so unprecedented warrants some clarification. Especially now that Mingyu is self aware of Wonwoo’s hostility towards him. 

Mingyu’s whips his head to face him and he eyes his figure up and down. “Are you okay? I woke up this morning and Jun told me you’re sick.”

There’s nothing disingenuous in his words, and it’s beyond any explanation as to why Wonwoo feels the way he does over what he says. He looks down and sees a brown paper bag filled to the brim with groceries. Oh, _he didn’t._

“Uh. Yeah,” his voice is light with shock, because he _knows_ how much Mingyu likes to help and if that doesn’t give him any indication as to why on Earth Mingyu’s here with a bag stock full of groceries then…

Right on cue, he lets out a pretty hefty sneeze, and Mingyu’s eyes flash into panic mode that reminds him of both his parents and Soonyoung. He immediately storms inside past the raven haired boy and begins taking out the contents in the bag. Wonwoo pulls out a tissue from his pocket and blows his nose, closing the door and following after the younger. 

“You never answered my question,” he says before blowing, and it’s then he notices how weak and scratchy his voice sounds. He suspects Mingyu catches it as well given the expression on his face. 

“I’m here to make you some soup,” Wonwoo knows this, he’s not sure why he even bothered asking, and Mingyu continues, “I brought medicine too, did you take medicine?” 

He pulls out a thermometer from the bag as well (Wonwoo always forgets to check his temperature when he’s sick) and for a second, it looks like he’s about to actually shove it into his mouth, but he puts it in Wonwoo’s hand instead. 

“You don’t have to take care of me,” he spits out, setting the thermometer down, and he’s not sure why he’s so aggravated with Mingyu being so nice, but he doesn’t want it. Not from him. Certainly not from him. He heads back into his room, but he can feel the younger following his footsteps. 

“Yeah, but you’re sick. And I was headed to the grocery store anyway… I just wanna make sure you’re okay,” he explains himself, walking into Wonwoo’s bedroom. The blankets are tossed up in one whole jumble, and there’s a pile of used tissues on his floor. Mingyu doesn’t even acknowledge Mochi laying on the bed, too distracted with the clutter displayed in front of him.

“Oh my _God_ , here, I’ll clean this mess up. You can go wait in the living room or something.”

“That’s unnecessary. I didn’t ask for your help,” Wonwoo snaps at him, “did Jun set you up for this?”

Mingyu blinks. “No.”

They stare at each other for quite some time, and it reminds Wonwoo of the time they locked eyes together that night at Seokmin’s house, when Jihoon was finishing up his piano piece. Albeit contrasting moods, it still gave Wonwoo an odd feeling in his chest. He clears his throat and turns to fixate his bed sheets. 

“You’re not obligated to take care of me,” he scowls at him, 

“Yeah, I know. I just felt like… I dunno, I saw you were cold last night. I could’ve offered you my sweater or something,” he says it ever so casually with a shrug, a tone that bears nothing but cool indifference. 

Wonwoo, on the other hand, pauses. Not only did Mingyu pay enough attention to him last night to know he was shivering cold, he also belatedly was willing to give up his sweater? The thought sends Wonwoo’s head in circles. He’s quite unsure what to say to that, _why does he have to say things like that?_ But luckily Mingyu fills in the awkward silence.

“I’ll just do the cooking then. I’ll call you when the food’s ready.”

Wonwoo merely nods, refusing to look at Mingyu in the eyes again and keeping his focus intently on the lines of the dark hardwood floor, or his rumpled pajamas. He hears the other turn on his heel and head back to the kitchen, humming quietly as he does. Wonwoo quickly goes to shut his bedroom door and he sighs drawlingly as he rests his aching head on his hand. 

_Why does he have to be like this??_

He snatches his phone from his bed and finds his iMessage conversation with Jun, aggressively texting his friend why the hell would he tell Mingyu he was sick, as it was none of his business. He sees that Jun’s read the message, thank God for read receipts, but it’s not accompanied by the little gray ellipses bubble that indicates he’s replying. Wonwoo narrows his eyes, beginning to text him _again_ , but suddenly Jun is calling him.

“Dude—"

Wonwoo doesn’t even let Jun get a sentence out, “He is at _my apartment_ , making me _soup_. I didn’t ask for this Jun.”

He feels like Jun is holding back a snicker on the other line, because it takes a minute for him to respond, “So that’s where he went. I didn’t know he was gonna do that! I just mentioned you because he brought up our plans today and was wondering where you were.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why does he care?”

Jun exhales, “Mingyu’s just… he’s like that. He’s a good friend, I don’t see why you’re complaining.”

“I’ve only just met him.”

“Really?” And there’s a lilt to his tone, he’s heard it from him before. He knows this whole conversation is long overdue with Jun, he keeps saying he’ll tell him the whole story but he just hasn’t had the right moment to. 

“Okay, not really,” he mumbles, “but I’m not having this talk with you over the phone. I’ll tell you later, just—“

“Wonwoo,” Jun’s got on his parent voice now and Wonwoo shuts up, “Lay down. Rest. Take the chicken noodle soup. God knows you need it. Get better soon, we’ll catch up later.”

Wonwoo sighs, deciding Jun was right, “Alright. I’ll text you later.”

He hangs up the phone and proceeds to do just what Jun suggested. Rest.

**

Wonwoo, a typically light sleeper, is uncharacteristically in such a deep slumber by the time Mingyu comes knocking outside his door that he neither hears the incessant knocking, or Mingyu slipping into his room. It takes a gentle shake for him to finally awaken, and his eyes take a while to adjust before realizing Mingyu is standing smack dab in front of him with a small smile on his face, the ever so charming smile. He shoves his shoulder away from Mingyu’s warm hand and pulls up his sweater teasing a peek of his collarbone. 

“What are you—?”

“Soup’s ready!” He says and his smile splits into a full blown grin. He’s wearing his aunt’s cooking apron and it’s kind of ridiculous how he looks good in it; Wonwoo thinks his brain is muddled from the sickness as he tiredly rubs his eyes. Mingyu’s also holding the book he must’ve fell asleep reading in his hands, and it looks like he’s put a receipt as a bookmark as opposed to Wonwoo’s typical make-do “folding the corner of the pages” bookmark. Mingyu turns the book over to see the front cover, lifting his eyebrows when he reads the title. 

“‘The Essential Rumi’. Who is that?”

Wonwoo over-exaggeratedly rolls his eyes as he pulls out a tissue from his tissue box to blow his nose, and give his attention to something other than Mingyu.

“Ah, he’s a poet,” Mingyu answers for himself, then flips through the pages, “do you have a favorite poem?”

“Can’t really determine a favorite seeing as I haven’t finished it yet,” he takes the book out of Mingyu’s hands and sets it on his bedside table next to his phone, “you said the soup was ready?”

Instead of responding, Mingyu simply stares at him for a good minute, his eyes nearly glued to Wonwoo (Wonwoo begins to think he has something on his face) and then stands up. He pats his cheeks between his hands simultaneously like a beating drum and shakes his head, “Sorry. Yeah. I’ll go-I’ll go prepare… that.”

He dashes out the room, leaving Wonwoo in a bewildered stupor. 

“What the hell was that,” he mutters, throwing the tissue in his trash can (which he noticed was empty. Must be Mingyu’s doing) and sliding into his house slippers. He doesn’t miss the way the house smells so _fucking delicious_ the second he leaves his room. His mouth is nearly salivating just from the aroma alone. When he arrives at the kitchen, Mingyu is pouring some chicken noodle soup into a bowl. 

“Looks like you got comfortable in the kitchen,” he says dryly as he takes a seat on the cushioned barstool. There’s hot tea poured in a white mug that reads “tears of my enemies” in bold black font and he nearly snorts in amusement when he sees it. 

“The tea is for you. I wasn’t sure which tea is your favorite since you have so many here, but peppermint is good for colds,” Mingyu says this without even batting an eye at him, too busy taste testing the soup. He lets out a noise reminiscent of a squeal of approval and then turns to Wonwoo with a pleased look on his face. The bowl in his hands is transferred over to the counter top, and he inches it closer to Wonwoo with expectant, glimmering eyes. Wonwoo makes no sign of expression and simply takes a spoonful of the soup into his mouth after blowing it carefully.

And well, he sees why all the guys boast about his cooking so much. It _is_ pretty delicious. Dare he say even better than his own mother’s chicken noodle soup. Mingyu seems to read that Wonwoo likes it because he pumps his fist with a soft “yes!” and does a little victory wiggle-like dance. Wonwoo pushes back any stirring thoughts infiltrating his head that Mingyu is actually quite cute when he does small things like that. He continues sipping the soup without another word. 

“Are you feeling any better? What’s your temperature, do you know?” Mingyu bombards him with questions, eventually maneuvering over until he’s sitting on the stool right next to him, “Hey. Speak to me.”

Wonwoo drops his spoon down into the bowl, the sudden weight causing some of the soup to splash out against the granite tops. Both boys stare at the mess on the table until Wonwoo speaks.

“Can you just give me some space? I don’t need you hovering over me, we’re hardly even friends,” he tells the boy rather sternly, and maybe he did go a bit too far because the way Mingyu’s face falls into a look of hurt even stings _him_. And maybe it does remind Wonwoo of the way Mingyu looked every time he rejected him when they were younger, and now he just feels plain guilty. Mingyu’s eyes avert from Wonwoo completely, and he doesn’t move any muscle in his body. 

Wonwoo purses his lips, “Listen—“

“I’m just trying to do something nice for you because I felt bad,” Mingyu’s tone is harsh and venomous, and it’s the same tone he used with Minghao last night and that’s the last thing he needs right now. Not when his brain is still confused over the events that have happened and are currently happening and why he cares so much. Except Mingyu just goes on before Wonwoo can even cut in.

“Why can’t you just say thank you?” His voice is quieter now, not that that’s any better and Wonwoo just feels shitty, both physically and mentally. 

“You know what, it’s fine. I don’t expect anything from you anyway,” Mingyu gets up from his seat and paces back and forth the living room, “this is just what happens when I’m nice to people. Why should I go out of my way to do this for you? You don’t care. You didn’t ask for this. See, and now I just look dumb. So fucking dumb.”

And Mingyu keeps rambling on, and Wonwoo’s just sitting there listening because he’s unsure of what exactly to say. Oblivion encompasses him, and maybe it’s because he’s sick that his mind is working at a slower pace, but all he does seem to know is _he_ caused this. He can only feel his nerves shooting throughout his entire body with every word Mingyu utters. 

“Hey,” he finally cuts him off, “Mingyu.”

“What,” and Mingyu looks like he’s near tears, maybe all this venting struck something deeper in his core and now Wonwoo feels a heavy responsibility on his shoulders.

“Look. I’m sorry,” he apologizes, looking him directly in the eye, trying to ignore the glossy look on Mingyu’s, “Thank you. I appreciate this.” And he means it genuinely, because God knows Wonwoo was never one to take care of himself when he was sick. If Mingyu weren’t here he’d probably be wallowing in bed reading books and coughing up mucus until he were covered in it. Disgusting. 

Mingyu simply huffs, folding his arms across his chest and flopping on the couch. He doesn’t say anything for a while until Wonwoo sneezes.

“Finish the soup. And your tea.”

And Wonwoo feels like he can breathe again (except figuratively since he’s got a runny nose). He turns to his soup again, his back facing Mingyu and something about that unsettles him. So he takes the bowl and his tea, surprisingly able to balance both with two hands, and sits down next to Mingyu on the couch. The younger boy stares at him, surprised but not unwelcoming, and moves to give Wonwoo some more space. 

They don’t talk, just bask in the silence and every time Wonwoo looks up from his soup he’s staring out at the boundless blue waters and something about that makes his heart feel a lot more calmer. Several spoons of soup later, he takes a peek at Mingyu and sees that he’s fallen asleep, although in an awkward position. One of his legs is propped up against the coffee table while the other is stretched out, his arms thrown on both sides of him and his head barely meeting the pillow. He stares at his sleeping form, watches the rise and fall of his chest, and his features look so soft and untroubled. It’s comforting. Mingyu always looks like he’s trying too hard to make everyone happy, Wonwoo admitting to be on the receiving end of this behavior just now, and seeing him in such an honest, raw state… it strangely eases Wonwoo’s mind.

However, he still feels quite guilty, because Mingyu deserved a thank you at the very least, and he let his harbored feelings get in the way of being a kind human being. His mother raised him better than that, Wonwoo knows she’d just be disappointed in him had she witnessed the scene. He reminds himself to properly thank Mingyu, because he would’ve never called for him of all people to come and… do all this, and something tells him that despite what Mingyu had said, he wasn’t just coincidentally headed to the grocery store this morning. Plus, it looks like this seemed to provide the other a good distraction from life around him, a therapy session of some sorts. So maybe they both needed this.

He moves to put his finished bowl in the kitchen sink and drink his (now cold) peppermint tea. Wonwoo wasn’t a huge fan of tea that wasn’t warm, but this’ll have to do. He contemplates sitting back next to Mingyu, but the man stirs in his sleep and somehow his whole body finds itsway on the couch, leaving little to no room for Wonwoo himself (mostly because his limbs were so long). 

He chuckles watching the other fine-tune his position into something more comfortable. Mochi, trotting her way out her scratching post, hops on the sofa and folds into Mingyu’s arm so naturally. He instinctively greets her presence in his sleep with a stronger embrace, and the sight alone makes Wonwoo forget about the chills coursing through his body because all he feels is warmth. 

He thinks the cold is catching up to his brain. 

**

When Mingyu wakes up, it’s thirty minutes to dinner time. He jumps up from his hour long snooze, almost like a loud alarm had awaken him, except for Wonwoo was being as quiet as a mouse on Christmas Day. He doesn’t move an eye from his book, sitting directly across Mingyu in the loveseat with his eyes glued to his copy of Henry IV. He’s reading a particular line when Mingyu finally makes a noise that grabs his attention.

_Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown._

He looks up at Mingyu.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Wonwoo folds the corner of the old yellow page and sets it down on the table next to his water and god awful tasting medicine Mingyu bought, as well as removing his glasses from his face. He wants to say something, but then he starts coughing, and Mingyu giggles. 

“I take it you’re not feeling better then?” He inquires, fixing himself up from his nap. His voice sounds much more husky after just waking up, and it throws Wonwoo off. 

“No,” he clears his throat, “I mean, well, yeah, I feel. Better. Yeah, the soup and tea were good. Thanks.”

He hates himself for sounding so goddamn _awkward_ , it’s just Mingyu after all. Although the boy seems to make no acknowledgement towards it, just darting his eyes around the room as if he’s confused where he is. 

“What time is it?” He asks more to himself, checking his pockets for his phone. Once he finds it wedged in between the sofa cushions, even Wonwoo can see the many, many notifications that pop up on his screen. 

“Shit,” he stands up abruptly, “I’m late for work.”

“Okay,” and it’s all Wonwoo can say as he watches Mingyu hastily grab his keys and other belongings he left scattered around the kitchen. He’s slipping into his sandals in such a hurry he nearly misses putting them on correctly, and Wonwoo knows it’s because he has work, but in a strange sense it saddens him to see him in such a rush to leave. My, have the tables have turned. 

Wonwoo tries to formulate words to speak, he had a whole script elaborately planned out for when Mingyu woke up but words seem to fail him now, getting swallowed into some black hole that exists in Wonwoo’s mouth. But he has to say something, because the boy is literally halfway out the door, and he still hasn’t got his point across. 

“Hey, so I—“

“There’s leftover soup in the pot, I’m sure I made enough to last you a couple days. Sorry for falling asleep, I totally didn’t anticipate that,” Mingyu says all to fast, and he swings the door open and the brightness of the late afternoon momentarily blinds Wonwoo. The sun casts a light behind Mingyu, and with his white tank top and printed board shorts, his skin so perfectly tan and gleaming, the soft breeze that ruffles his dark, mussed hair—he looks like summer. Wonwoo dumbfoundedly is peering up at him and he still can’t find words, even as Mingyu is leaving. 

“Get better soon,” is all he says before he’s out the door and skipping steps (in goddamn flip flops) down the staircase to get to his car.

And a thought dawns upon Wonwoo that maybe Mingyu isn’t so bad when he isn’t churning out pick up lines while putting on some weird faux facade that he’s okay when he’s clearly not, and that, alright, experiencing firsthand Mingyu’s hospitality is quite nice and endearing. And Wonwoo concludes that Mingyu just _cares_ , he cares with all fiber of his being, and even though he’s been surrounded by genuinely wonderful friends for so long (cough, Soonyoung), he’s never quite met someone like him before. 

Wonwoo continues to watch Mingyu start up the engine of his Jeep, and he can’t seem to erase the peculiar feeling that edges him seeing him drive off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SORTA LONG OVERDUE.... i was hitting major writer's block with this chapter but i eventually pushed through! i hope you guys enjoy this, things are sorta picking up!
> 
> as usual, comments are much appreciated! thanks guys!!!!!


	7. the dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo's a confused, jumbled up, overwhelmed mess, and it doesn't get any better.

Jun sets his cup of chai latte on the table and nods languidly.

“So that’s what all this is about.”

It’s a boiling hot day outside, the kind where most kids stay in their homes to avoid the heat, when Wonwoo decides to tell Jun, well, everything. A couple days have passed since Mingyu came by his apartment to take care of him, and Wonwoo’s temperature was now at the normal standard. But even with his cold gone, it seems like his brain can’t seem to find peace. The more he thinks and thinks and thinks, he ends up short circuiting. When the barista had asked him what he’d like to order he said “fine, how are you?”, causing some chuckles from folks behind him in line. 

“And Mingyu doesn’t know then? That you know all this?” Jun asks him, playing with the chain of his necklace. 

“No,” he quietly answers. He hasn’t touched his drink since it’s came to the table, which was a good 45 minutes (or maybe an hour?) ago. It’s certainly gotten cold by now, but Wonwoo can’t bring himself to care all too much, too bewildered with what’s happening (why did he order a hot drink on one of the hottest days of summer anyway?).

“Why don’t you just tell him?” 

Wonwoo looks at Jun like he’s just confessed to killing a man, “ _What_?! What do you mean _tell him_? What if he _hates_ me, knowing what I did when we were younger?”

Jun smirks at him, “Oh, so what Mingyu thinks of you matters know? Wasn’t is just last week you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him?”

Wonwoo is left in a stuttering, jumbled mess in front of Jun, who takes another sip of his latte and pats Wonwoo’s hand on the table as reassurance. Curse Jun and his ability to get the last word. 

All this head spinning makes him feel like he’s on a rollercoaster that never seems to end, continuous loops and ups and downs. 

“Hey guys!”

Wonwoo just about jumps in his seat at the sound of another person, and when he looks behind him he sees Jeonghan and Soonyoung. Soonyoung’s got one of those smiles on his face, the one he has every time he thinks he’s caught Wonwoo and Jun “sharing a moment”, but Wonwoo brushes it off. 

“I didn’t know you guys would be coming in today. I could’ve got you some free drinks,” Jeonghan says to them and throws on his Sugar and Milk apron, “But I gotta clock in so I’ll see ya on the other side!”

He heads out behind the counter to join the rest of his coworkers, all whom look around his age. Wonwoo can hear from here how they all bombard him with questions of how Seungcheol is doing. Soonyoung, on the other hand, pulls a chair up next to the two of them and sits down, dancing his fingers along the table as he looks between each boy.

Jun lifts an eyebrow, “Yes, Soonyoung?” 

Just like Wonwoo, he’s very much aware of Soonyoung’s inkling involving the two of them. However, unlike Wonwoo, Jun heavily enjoyed toying with the idea of them as a couple, occasionally calling the other his boyfriend just to see his reaction. Wonwoo wonders why he’s even friends with him. 

“Nothing, nothing,” he giggles, then clears his throat, “So what’s up!”

“Nothing,” Wonwoo answers all too suddenly, his face feeling hot and he probably looks like a deer caught in headlights, which only leaves room for more suspicion from Soonyoung’s end. Luckily, Jun is quick enough to make an excuse to save his ass. 

“He’s just catching me up on what he did while he was sick the past few days.”

“Ohhh, right. You’re feeling better though, right?” He moves to rest his hand on Wonwoo’s forehead, but it’s swatted away instantly. 

“Yeah, much better,” he clears his throat, “but, uh, how was the concert?”

It was an attempt to steer the conversation clear of anything to do with himself, which successfully worked. 

Soonyoung gasps in excitement, his fists slamming on the table, “It was _the_ best time ever, Jihoon and I had a lot of fun! Oh god, and _guess_ what!? We went backstage and Jihoon got to meet some pretty cool producer people and they got to talking and he’s always had connections with some people here and there, but _guys, get this,_ he got offered a job with some big company—I’m blanking on the name—but yeah, how _insane_ is that?”

“Oh my god, seriously?” Jun’s eyes widen, looking from Soonyoung to Wonwoo, “dude, that’s crazy! Congrats to him!”

“Yeah, that’s amazing,” Wonwoo smiles to his best friend, who effusively basks in all the praise Jihoon is receiving. 

“No seriously, we should celebrate or something. Round up all the guys tonight and go for dinner?” Jun suggests, and the look on Soonyoung’s eyes already read “hell YES”. Wonwoo nods his head in agreement, because this news definitely calls for a well deserved celebration. Soonyoung continues rambling on about the concert, Wonwoo can’t fathom how Soonyoung can still talk so much with a hoarse voice, undoubtedly from all the shouting at the concert, but hearing his stories thankfully pulls him from his own thoughts. 

“Wow Soonyoung, that sounds like a lot of fun,” Jun claps his friend in the back with a grin.

“I know, it was probably the greatest weekend of my life. _And_ to top it all off, we’re finally official!” He looks like he’s about to explode of happiness, Wonwoo can see the invisible confetti rupture from within him. Soonyoung always managed to convey his emotions using every bit of his entire body. 

“Finally,” Wonwoo says with a roll of his eyes, but he’s smiling and he’s glad they’ve finally made it official (not that everyone in town didn’t know already). Soonyoung saves them from all the details, although Wonwoo's sure it’ll be brought up sooner than later eventually, and goes to order a drink. 

“Man, he’s just filled with good news,” Jun chuckles once Soonyoung is by the counter, “I’m happy for him.”

“Yeah, me too,” Wonwoo says and he pushes his own problems aside for now. He ponders how long he can go procrastinating his confrontation with what he calls The Mingyu Dilemma.

**

As Jun had suggested, all the guys were thrilled to have a celebratory night for Jihoon in the form of dinner. Soonyoung had took the initiative in calling for a table for thirteen ( _Thirteen!_ Wonwoo still can’t believe it sometimes) for a restaurant downtown near the beachside, Wonwoo’s never heard of it but Jun tells him it’s got the best food in town. 

And so all thirteen young men meet up in the parking lot to the restaurant (Seokmin laughs for a good five minutes over the name of the place, The Drunken Seahorse) dressed in relatively fancy-casual clothes. 

Wonwoo peeks over at Mingyu the second he arrives, who’s with Seungcheol and Jeonghan, and he’s tempted to go over and say hi. He hasn’t spoken to him since that day and something is compelling him to say something.

“Hey Wonwoo!” Joshua warmly greets him as he approaches. 

“Hey,” and Wonwoo means to smile, except he can’t because all he can think about is what he should say it Mingyu. 

“You good? You seem… distracted,” followed with one of his soft chuckles that match with the glint in his eyes. Wonwoo’s noticed he’s got new piercings, or maybe he’s always had them and never worn earrings in. Either way he thinks they suit him quite well.

“Yeah, sorry,” a faint smile evident on his face now, “I’m good.”

“Are you feeling better? I heard you were sick from Jeonghan,” he says, “and Mingyu took care of you, right?”

It takes a while for the words to register in Wonwoo’s brain, but eventually they do and his brow furrows and his heart pace has picked up, “Wait. What?”

“Mingyu? Was it not him? I could’ve sworn Jeonghan—“

“No, yeah. Yeah, it was… it was him. I just didn’t know you knew. Or Jeonghan.”

“Oh,” he blinks, “I’m sorry, did you not want us to know…? I don’t think Jeonghan told many people,” and Joshua sounds like he feels guilty, and Wonwoo isn’t sure what to say. This shouldn’t feel so earth shattering, and his heart shouldn’t be doing _whatever it’s doing_ , and who cares if the guys know Mingyu took care of him? 

Wonwoo re-composes himself, “Sorry,” he runs his hand through his hair out of frustration, “sorry.”

“Hey,” Joshua places a hand on his shoulder, and it’s more comforting than Wonwoo would’ve anticipated, “you don’t have to apologize. It’s alright.”

Wonwoo looks at him, and he’s smiling so gently at him, and it really sets his whole body at ease, “Yeah. Sorry—I mean. It’s fine. That you guys know, that is.”

Joshua moves to stand beside Wonwoo and his hand is know thrown around his shoulder, leading the way into the restaurant, “All good man!”

Wonwoo chuckles, and when he looks away from him, his eyes connect immediately to Mingyu’s, and the boy smiling at him so wide it almost pains Wonwoo to look at him. Joshua’s talking about Jihoon and how excited he is for him, but it all begins to sound muffled because of goddamn _Mingyu_. 

Wonwoo doesn’t know what’s wrong with him.

It’s one of the few times Wonwoo’s seen him sporting something that’s not a tank top, shorts, and flip flops. He’s wearing a thin lavender long sleeve (the weather had cooled down significantly since the morning, hence the long sleeves amongst the boys) and fitted black slacks with _actual shoes_. Wonwoo clears his throat, preparing the eventual encounter because Mingyu is holding the door open for everyone, him and Joshua included, and Wonwoo can already feel Mingyu ready to say something. The cosmos are telling him he’s not ready for this. 

“Hey Mingyu,” Joshua says to him first as the ascend the steps onto the porch. He removes his arm from Wonwoo’s shoulder so he can fit through the door, “How was your weekend?”

“Good,” Mingyu smiles, and instead of delving further, he looks at Wonwoo, “hey.”

“Hi,” Wonwoo says simply, his face tinged with the smallest smile because Mingyu’s grin is nearly contagious. 

“Are you feeling better?” He asks him, and he’s still holding the door open for another group of people, so Wonwoo hangs back with him while Joshua joins the rest of the boys.

“Yeah. A lot better. Thank you again, by the way,” he says and he’s very, very self-conscious of how awkward he sounds.

“Oh, no problem. Thanks for letting me nap at your place,” he laughs. 

The hallway of the restaurant is quite dim, due to low lighting and dark-colored walls and furniture. Mingyu makes a comment over how dark it is, and Wonwoo merely nods. When he peers up ahead, the guys are already being led to their table by a tall man. He catches Jun’s lingering looks and apparently, so does Mingyu.

“I think Jun is looking for you,” he smirks, and it reminds Wonwoo too much of Soonyoung.

“God, not you too,” he scoffs.

Mingyu lets out a loud laugh that has his shoulders shaking, “What!? What do you mean?”

“Oh you know what I mean,” he shoots him a glare, “Soonyoung swears something’s going on between Jun and I when we keep telling him we’re just friends.”

“Right,” Mingyu continues to laugh, and they’re weaving their way through the tables to catch up with the rest of the guys but they keep getting cut off by other people. 

“Hey, I’m serious! We’re just friends. How can anyone think otherwise when he’s clearly still got feelings for Minghao,” he blurts out, and he can suddenly feel the atmosphere alter into something much… colder. He instantly regrets speaking when he sees the way Mingyu’s lips lose it’s curve, into a tight line now, and his eyes shift downwards. 

“Uh…” Wonwoo turns his head away from Mingyu, “look, there’s our table.”

Mingyu follows behind him without another word, and Wonwoo’s mentally beating his head in for bringing up Minghao in front of him. When they arrive at the table, Jihoon is sitting on the end, with Soonyoung to his left, and there are two remaining velvet-cushioned seats directly across from each other at the opposite end. Wonwoo takes the empty spot next to Jeonghan, while Mingyu takes the remaining next to Seungkwan.

“Hey Wonwoo,” Jeonghan grins, pushing the dark locks away from his face.

Wonwoo answers in a smile as he scoots his chair in and covers his face with the restaurant dinner menu and directing all his focus on it. He can hear Jihoon talking more in detail over what happened at the concert, and everyone seems well absorbed in the story.

They’ve got the biggest table in the house, and straight in front of them is a wide circular window displaying the view of the ocean. The sun’s already set by now, but there’s still enough light to vaguely see the slow movement of the water. There’s a table over singing happy birthday to a little girl, and some of the guys jokingly join in with them, clapping when the girl blows her candles. Wonwoo feels a sense of belonging and peace being with the entire gang again, especially after being cooped up in bed alone for a few days. 

When the waitress comes by to take everyone’s drink, Seungcheol’s orders the House Chardonnay for everyone (everyone of age that is. Chan audibly expresses his discontent at that), as well as waters all around. Wonwoo’s absentmindedly tracing various patterns when he feels something touch his foot, and when his head faces up, he’s met with Mingyu’s gaze.

“Oh. Sorry,” he immediately apologizes, and Wonwoo can feel his leg being retracted as he sits up.

“It’s fine,” he assures him, looking down at the menu again. 

There are people on the way other end of the table having what sounds like fun conversations, but quite unfortunately, Wonwoo’s too far to join in. It just sounds like distant chatter and laughter to him. To make matters even more worse, Jeonghan’s mostly talking to Seungcheol which leaves Wonwoo with no one. When he looks across from him, it appears Mingyu’s in the same situation, as Seungkwan is watching some video with Vernon. The two of them share eye contact, and Mingyu chuckles over their shared predicament. 

Wonwoo clears his throat, “So, uh. How’s work?”

Mingyu looks up from his menu, a bit shocked that Wonwoo’s struck a conversation with him, but pleased nonetheless, “It’s been pretty good.”

There’s a brief silence between the two again until a realization dawns upon Wonwoo.

“Uh, sorry. I actually don’t even know where you work,” his voice sounds so quiet, he’s surprised Mingyu manages to hear him. 

He cracks another grin again, this one wider than the previous, “I help my mom out with her architect business. We do a lot of interior home designs. ”

Ah, makes sense. Wonwoo thinks it’s very fitting for Mingyu. 

He responds with a nod, “Do you like it?”

“Oh, I love it! I have a lot of fun designing stuff. I’m actually majoring in architectural design. So yeah, I really enjoy it.”

And for a split second, Wonwoo gets a flash of panic over thinking about his future now that he’s done with school, and Mingyu seems to know what he’s doing even after he graduates which is way ahead of him, not that it’s a competition, but it sets Wonwoo’s mind in a whirlpool of heavy thoughts. He reminds himself this is not the time nor place to be contemplating such thoughts. 

“You okay?” Mingyu asks him, leaning in closer to the table. 

Wonwoo shoves his thoughts away, remembering reality exists, “Sorry, yeah. Tell me more about your work though, I don’t know anything about architecture really. Or well, actually, I took a class on Greek buildings my second year, that was pretty interesting.”

Mingyu stares at him for what feels like eternity before giggling, “Right, yeah I had to take an introductory course on ancient buildings, so I know a bit about that. I do more indoor designing that outdoor though, but like, columns and arches are… uh… pretty cool.”

“‘Pretty cool’?” Wonwoo’s itching to form a smile, because _who just says stuff like that?_ (though he’s not one to talk really), “that’s all you’ve got to say about Greek architecture? Imagine what the ancient Greeks would say to you now had they heard you.”

Mingyu laughs again, it grabs Seungkwan’s attention who just stares at him puzzled before turning back to Vernon, “You’re funny.”

“That wasn’t even a joke,” though Wonwoo lets a chuckle escape, “but seriously, what’s your job like?”

Mingyu purses his lips in thought, “Alright well, like I said we do more indoor design than outdoor, although I’ve been trying to work more on creating some outdoor design sketches. My mom mostly comes up with the ideas, I just help around when it comes to the physical stuff. But sometimes I get a say in the final product. She works in the city though, occasionally she comes out to go over business stuff with me.”

Wonwoo’s intrigued listening to Mingyu talk. “That’s pretty neat. What have you designed?”

“We do a lot of the interior design for the homes near your side of town! And we did the design for Bread and Butter, you know, Seungcheol’s place!”

He nods, the image of the restaurant coming to mind. It had a very minimalist, open, airy feel—Wonwoo was fond of it. 

“You guys do good work then,” he smiles at the younger man, and it feels like it’s just the two of them having dinner and not a table with eleven other people. 

The waitress returns with a tray full of drinks that go around the table and a pen and paper to take everyone’s order. 

“Oh shit. I don’t know what I want yet” Mingyu says more to himself than anyone else, but Wonwoo chortles. He opens up the menu, his eyes hurriedly searching for something. When the waitress reaches their side of the table, Mingyu tells Wonwoo to order first, followed by an apologetic chuckle. 

Wonwoo’s decided he’ll get the chicken basil fettuccine pasta, it was one of the only non-seafood options on the menu that he could find. 

“You come to a seafood place, and not get seafood?” Mingyu quirks an eyebrow once Wonwoo reads his order to the waitress. 

“Seafood makes me sick,” he responds. 

“Huh. Interesting,” Mingyu notes, and then turns to the waitress, “yeah, hi, sorry, can I get the shrimp scampi?”

Not to Wonwoo’s surprise, the waitress spends a good amount of time talking to Mingyu (does she not have tables to attend to?). And she’s clearly flirting, much like most people who meet Mingyu, and rather than annoyance, Wonwoo feels quite… blank watching the entire interaction. Mingyu is clearly a conventionally above average looking man (i.e., one of the most attractive people Wonwoo’s ever crossed paths with) so who wouldn’t want to try shooting their shot? It would surprise Wonwoo more if people didn’t stop to marvel at Mingyu’s appearance. She leaves soon enough, Mingyu telling her they have a celebratory toast to make, and Wonwoo swear he sees the girl wink at him before turning away. 

“She was nice,” is all Mingyu says, and all Wonwoo can do is smile to that.

“Glasses up boys!” Soonyoung announces in the nick of time, because Wonwoo doesn’t feel like speaking suddenly.

“Speech, speech!” Minghao chants, which spurs on the rest of the group. Soonyoung caves in, standing up with his glass out in front of him. 

“Alright, uh. Well, I’m sure you all know by now Jihoon recently got a job offer with an independent music company,” the guys respond in whoops and hollers, “And yeah…. so, I’m just so, so proud of you,” he looks down to Jihoon and takes his hand, and Wonwoo can spot a faint blush color his cheeks, and Soonyoung is already tearing up, “This is such a great opportunity and you know we’ve all just been your biggest fans since as long as we’ve known you. No one deserves this more than you.”

“Alright, alright, he’s about to cry so I’ll wrap it up,” Seungcheol chuckles, and he stands up as well, “Jihoon, I’ve known you since, wow, elementary school, and I can’t put in words how proud I am—we all are, of you. So… to Jihoon! Congrats man!”

Everyone raises their drinks, a loud chorus of “To Jihoon” fills their table and the boys all clink glasses together before drinking. Wonwoo doesn’t really like the taste of chardonnay, and the grimace that follows is surely quite obvious because he hears Mingyu snort at him. 

“Not really my thing,” he explains, pushing the drink further away from him. In return, Mingyu takes the gold drink and sets it next to his with a satisfied smirk.

“Don’t drink too much now,” Wonwoo says amusedly. 

“Oh please, I haven’t gotten drunk since New Years Eve. I think I can handle myself just fine,” he says all too proudly before bringing the drink to his lips. Wonwoo’s just watching his movements until, well, he realizes he’s just blatantly staring at the man. 

“So, uh,” he looks away from Mingyu’s wine-coated lips to mess with the napkin on the table, “what’s your dad do? Does he help out with the business?” 

And the silence lasts a bit too long, not a sound coming from Mingyu’s side of the table, just the mixed ensemble of voices of the others. Wonwoo stops picking at the napkin, raising his head to peek at the other. It doesn’t take Sherlock to realize that something’s off. Mingyu’s jaw tightens, and although he’s looking straight at Wonwoo, Wonwoo doesn’t feel like he’s actually being looked at. He opens his mouth to say that it’s fine, he doesn’t need to answer the question if he feels uncomfortable, but Mingyu talks before he can. 

“My dad passed away years ago,” he states, and the silence that seemed so deafening a second ago suddenly sounds a lot better than this. Wonwoo can feel his heart plummet at Mingyu’s disclosure, trying to put together words like jigsaw puzzle pieces except the pieces don’t seem to fit. And the atmosphere has changed completely on their end of the table—Seungkwan, Vernon, Seungcheol, and Jeonghan all have their heads turned to them, neither sharing a word.

“I’m really sorry to hear that,” Wonwoo finally says, and he genuinely hopes it sounds as sincere as he means for it to sound, but he knows sometimes his emotions don’t align with his words. So he repeats it for greater emphasis, “I’m really, really sorry Mingyu.”

Mingyu gives a small smile to Wonwoo, “It’s fine,” he replies, and it sounds posed, but Wonwoo can’t imagine how you could say it otherwise, and clears his throat, “it was a long time ago.”

He imagines the rest of the guys have already known with the way they’re handling the situation, which much greater poise than Wonwoo can seem to muster up. 

And now Wonwoo’s head gets ideas, Mingyu’s “it was a long time ago” playing over and over again in his head like a broken record. How much long ago? Because Wonwoo’s certain he had met Mingyu’s dad when they were younger. It had to be the first time they hung out, before Wonwoo started pushing him away. He distinctly recalls his dad buying them ice creams after they were done roaming around the neighborhood. 

_“Your my son’s first friend since we’ve moved in!”_

Fuck. 

_Fuck fuck fuck._

His hands clench, then unclench, he feels stiff and uneasy and his stomach twists into knots. Mingyu is avoiding eye contact now (somehow that makes it easier for Wonwoo), his eyes boring into his lap instead. 

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo chokes out, and he hadn’t realized his voice was so shaky, and his emotions are so uncontrollable right now and he can’t bring himself to compose his typically calm demeanor. 

“Hey, I said it’s fine,” Mingyu says, and the smile he gives Wonwoo matches the light in his eyes and it lifts Wonwoo’s heart slightly, “it’s really okay.”

But he has so many questions bubbling at the back of this throat, when did it happen, how did it happen, is that why you moved away—but those weren’t questions to ask now, and he wasn’t sure if they were questions he could bring himself to ask ever. And it seems like all these unanswered thoughts that drive Wonwoo up a wall just seem to pile up and up, consuming a considerable amount of space in his brain, just sitting there. Wonwoo thinks they’re going to sit there all summer, until he’s moved out of town and will possibly never see Mingyu again. 

Mingyu downs the rest of his drink and lets out a refreshed “ah”, followed by a smack of his pink lips. 

“So, you said you majored in literature right?” His head tilts curiously, now twirling his empty glass around. 

Wonwoo finds it, quite frankly, difficult to suddenly move on from such a heavy topic to this, but Mingyu is done talking about himself for what seems like the rest of the night, so he answers his question. Despite his head swimming and whatnot. 

“Yeah,” he says at last, “I don’t really have an idea of what to do with it, if you were wondering.”

“I kinda was,” Mingyu’s got a grin that shows his canines, Wonwoo is astonished how he manages to remain a beacon of light even after bringing up something so personal, “but that’s okay that you aren’t sure yet.”

“Right, it’s what everyone keeps saying,” Wonwoo mumbles, and he’s really not wrong. Everyone keeps telling him it’s fine, nothing’s wrong with taking your time, however it doesn’t seem to negate the fact he’s still stressed thinking about it. He omits this from Mingyu, though, not wanting to make the other feel terrible for literally saying just that. 

“Well, let’s brainstorm some idea then!” Mingyu clasps his hands together and rubs them together rather impishly, “okay so… do you wanna write books?”

“Nah,” Wonwoo answers straight away meeting Mingyu’s gaze, “not really. I do enjoy writing but—“

“You write?” His eyes widen in amazement, like it’s the best thing he’s heard all day. Wonwoo snorts. 

“I mean, sorta yeah. I don’t think I’d wanna be a novelist though. I mostly keep my writing to myself,” and he finishes off quieter than he started. 

“Hmm,” Mingyu taps the table with his index finger, holding back a smile, ”Okay then. How about editing?”

He pauses momentarily, and then, “I’ll pass.”

“How about like a teacher? A professor!”

It’s something he’s definitely considered before, his mom had even suggested it a couple times. 

“It’s a possibility. I’m leaning towards no, since it would require me to go back to school and I don’t really wanna do that all over again,” Wonwoo nearly shudders at the thought.

“Got it,” he responds with a nod, “You definitely got the whole professor look going on though.”

Wonwoo quirks his head, ignoring the way Mingyu looked him up and down briefly when he said that, “And what’s that supposed to be mean?”

“You just look like someone who would teach English I guess,” he says seamlessly with a shrug, “it’s mostly the glasses.”

Huh.

He takes it as a compliment, brushing away any odd thoughts knowing Mingyu’s attentiveness to his stylistic choices. The other doesn’t continue throwing professions out at him because the waitress comes by with bread and butter for the table and Seungkwan steals Mingyu away to talk about fruit, leaving Wonwoo to himself. Or, not really, because Seungcheol talks to him about a video game, but his sparse responses steer the other away. Wonwoo is left staring out the dark blue, almost navy ocean, the moon reflecting against the gentle waves. The sky is starry tonight. 

His gaze doesn’t leave the sight until his food arrives. 

**

Mingyu’s drunk. 

Mingyu’s unequivocally, and quite unashamedly drunk. Wonwoo’s not sure how it’s happened, but next thing he knows, Mingyu’s slurring his words and his face is a bright red color (he sorta looks like a happy tomato). He’s swaying back and forth in his seat and humming a Christmas tune all too joyously, and it’s actually very, _very_ entertaining.

“How much did he drink?” Jeonghan asks Wonwoo, staring in dismay at the man across from him, who’s currently trying his best to stab his fork into his food. He continuously keeps missing and the utensil hits the plate in a harsh screech instead. 

“I honestly have no idea,” Wonwoo replies, and he’s trying not to laugh watching Mingyu but it’s hilarious seeing him in this state. 

“He’s got _four empty wine glasses_ ,” Jeonghan points out, and then he turns to Seungcheol, “oh my god, babe, he’s got four empty glasses.”

Wonwoo didn’t see the empty glasses before, but now that he does, he also notices Vernon and Seungkwan giggling to themselves, simultaneously taking turns peeking at Mingyu. Coincidentally, neither of them have glasses out in front of them either. 

“Seungkwan. Vernon.”

Both boys look up, and their stifled laughter fades once they see the look on Wonwoo’s face, stone cold and serious paired with piercing eyes. 

Vernon clears his throat, “Uh, yes, Wonwoo?”

“Did you guys, by any chance—“

“ALRIGHT WE DID IT, WE’RE SORRY,” Seungkwan immediately cries out, lowering his head, “we really shouldn’t have, but he asked for them, and we didn’t know he’d get this drunk!”

Wonwoo drops his front, snickering at how easily it took for Seungkwan to crumble. Jeonghan laughs as well, holding his palm out for a high-five from Wonwoo. 

“Wait, who’s drunk now?” Seokmin, who’s sitting next to Vernon overhears, looking down the table.

“Someone’s _drunk_?!” Soonyoung exclaims, “what the hell, who gets drunk off chardonnay?”

In the midst of the silence, Minghao falls into a fit of laughter, “Oh my God, is it Mingyu?”

Mingyu’s head lolls upwards when he hears his name, and he quickly goes from smiling winningly ear to ear to suddenly looking awfully sick and nearly all the guys move to stand up. Seungkwan grabs onto his shoulder first to keep him upright, but Mingyu slumps down in his chair and buries his head into his hands. 

When his head snaps back up, his eyes look glossy, unable to focus on any one individual.

“I think I’m drunk,” he muses, then a hiccup, and then he drops his head again. 

“Whoa, whoa, okay big guy,” Seungkwan pulls his face up again, “do you wanna go home?” 

“You’re too loud,” Mingyu says in a whisper.

Oh dear God. It’s really quite comical, but Wonwoo refrains from laughing. Jeonghan and Vernon, on the other hand, combust. 

“He said you’re too loud!” Vernon slaps Seungkwan’s shoulder comically. 

“Yeah, and so are you probably, idiot,” Seungkwan snaps at him, then faces Mingyu again, rubbing his back soothingly like a mother.

“Do you want Minghao to take you home?” He asks this time, quieter, softer.

“No,” he instantly responds in his drunken haze, and Wonwoo does _not_ want to see what it looks like on Minghao’s end of the able after that.

“Okay, okay,” Seungkwan rubs his back then looks around until he locks eyes with Wonwoo, “uh okay, how about Wonwoo?”

And _shit_ , Wonwoo should’ve saw it coming the second Seungkwan looked at him, but the second he hears his name he sits frozen.

“Yeah, Wonwoo, you’ve finished your food, do you mind?” Seungcheol asks him, “you didn’t drive here did you?”

“Uh, I-I did,” he’s scrambling for words, and all the guys are looking at him expectantly, “But, no, it’s fine, yeah, I don’t… I don’t mind.”

He rather tensely gets up from his seat, pulling cash from his wallet and saying it should cover both his and Mingyu’s part of the bill. Seungkwan helps Mingyu get up from his chair, having to hoist Mingyu up from his side, to then nudge Wonwoo’s direction.

“Wonwoo. You’re gonna need to hold onto him, I don’t think he can balance himself,” Seungkwan says when Wonwoo just stares at Mingyu’s figure wobbling about. He finally moves to take his arm, the alcohol made his arms warm to touch, and suddenly Mingyu is leaning against him. 

“Water,” he hears Mingyu mutter, but it takes Wonwoo a second to fully take the entire weight of Mingyu’s body without staggering. He takes a measured steps to ensure Mingyu won’t topple over him. 

“We’ll get you water, come on,” he says in a tone lighter than usual, like he’s talking to an infant. He begins heading to the entrance of the restaurant with Mingyu in tow, ignoring the looks from people of all sorts (he imagines this isn’t a typical place people get drunk given the stares), when Minghao catches up. 

“Hey wait,” he calls out, “wait, wait, Wonwoo!”

Wonwoo turns his head to see the other, Mingyu is asking him who is it right into his ear and Wonwoo ignores the goosebumps that sends down his spine. Mingyu also reeks terribly of wine. 

“Hey, what’s—?”

“Mingyu, you’ll be okay, alright?” He speaks to Mingyu first, and the expression on his face reminds Wonwoo of how Soonyoung looks at him every time he’s concerned, “Wonwoo will make sure you’re okay.”

Mingyu’s eyes are tearing up, Wonwoo takes it he’s an emotional drunk. 

“When he gets drunk sometimes he thinks he’s dying because he gets really bad headaches,” Minghao tells him, then finally tears his eyes away to look at Wonwoo, “please take care of him and call me if you need anything, I’ll have my phone on me. I’m sure we’ll be back within the next hour or two, but still.”

Wonwoo simply nods his head.

“Thank you man. I appreciate it,” he pats Wonwoo’s shoulder reverently and gives Mingyu one last glance before joining the rest of the guys. 

“Let’s go!” Mingyu whines rather loudly, grabbing the attention of the people around him. He stomps his feet on the ground like a little kid and begins dragging Wonwoo himself. 

“Okay, okay, jeez,” Wonwoo mutters, letting Mingyu take the lead to the parking lot. 

**

After about fifteen minutes trying to find Mingyu’s car (when it really should’ve only been five since it was parked in the closest row to the restaurant. Not that Mingyu remembered anyway though), and then another ten minutes trying to get Mingyu to actually stay still while Wonwoo puts on his seatbelt, _plus_ another five because Mingyu didn’t find the adjustment of the seat to his liking (Wonwoo officially hates drunk Mingyu at this point), Wonwoo is at last sitting in the driver’s seat of Mingyu’s truck (“Of course he drives a truck,” Wonwoo had thought).

“I live with Jun,” Mingyu mumbles, hardly coherent. 

“Yeah, I know,” Wonwoo revs up the engine and backs out of the driveway, though not so effortlessly and swiftly since he’s never driven a truck before. The radio turns on automatically and the second Mingyu hears the loud pop music he shuts it off (more like attempts to shut it off as he presses all the buttons). 

“How are you feeling?” Wonwoo eventually asks him, “is your head spinning at all?”

“Your voice is really deep,” Mingyu murmurs through a smile.

Somehow the car feels warmer. 

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo says carefully, then asks again, “how’s your head?”

“Everything’s just… blurry,” Mingyu finally answers with a sigh. 

And then he pouts, “And I’m sad.”

“You’re sad? Why are you sad?” He’s grateful for the red stop light which allows him to peel his eyes off from the road and look at Mingyu. He looks as if he’s struggling to find words. 

“It’s fine,” Wonwoo says once the light turns green, “you don’t have to tell me.” He doesn’t need another repeat of what happened earlier at the dinner table. 

And instead, Mingyu muddles in a slurred voice, “I live with Jun.”

“I know, you said that already,” Wonwoo says breezily. He stares at the empty, open roads in front of him now, any thoughts of a destination seamlessly flown out the window. The clouds drift to cover the moon and the air remains quiet and calm. Wonwoo can hear Mingyu breathing. Is he that close?

“You like Jun,” Mingyu finally speaks, and Wonwoo can feel his eyes on him. 

He closes his eyes with a heavy sigh, “I don’t like Jun.”

When his eyes reopen, he sees Mingyu rolling his window up and down over and over again, until quite promptly, every repressed feeling stored in each vessel of his body seems to let go. 

“That’s not what Minghao says, Minghao says you do. And Minghao likes Jun too, did you know that? But Jun likes you, Minghao thinks that, too. And he’s really upset over that, and I’m always the one who has to make him feel better about this-this mess,” his voice is wavering by now, “and… and! And it’s not fair, because I… I—“

Wonwoo instantly pulls over on the side of the road, destination be damned, because Mingyu just fell apart like a tower of cards that was honed so perfectly, so refined, knocked over so fast and easily. He can’t be driving and handling this all at once. His heart is palpitating, he didn’t expect this, and the sound of Mingyu’s brittle voice is cracking his heart in the strangest way. 

“Whoa, slow down, okay?” Wonwoo turns the car off and unbuckles his seatbelt, “First of all, I don’t think Minghao has anything to worry about.”

He’s not sure what to do with his arms, does Mingyu need physical comfort? He hesitates to touch the other man, instead just drawing slightly closer. Mingyu is looking down at his shaking hands, blinking back tears in his eyes that are saturated with hurt and pain. And Wonwoo knows the feeling, if Mingyu’s anything like him, this part is the _absolute fucking worst_ when it comes to crying. When the tears are just threatening to rush out, to ruin your entire facade. Wonwoo knows at some point the chaos will overrule the self-control you work so hard to maintain.

“If Minghao doesn’t have anything to worry about, then what about me?” Mingyu asks in a voice so low of a whisper, and his lips are quivering. Wonwoo’s insides are coiling the longer he looks at the sight in front of him. 

But what does Mingyu mean by that? What about him?

The breeze blows in and tumbles Mingyu’s hair in front of his face, shadowing over his eyes, though the younger doesn’t bother to move it. Under the pale blue moonlight, his features still manage to illuminate. And he’s a lot less red now, his face blotched with pink instead. But he looks so fragile, like a glass vase, with his tears now spilling out endlessly, dotting the seats of his car and Wonwoo really, _really_ doesn’t know what to do. He just stares. Stares and stares and stares until he feels like he’s drunk himself because he just wants to hold the younger and tell him everything will be okay. Except he can’t just do that. 

“Um… Mingyu, what do you…? What do you mean by that?” Wonwoo eventually asks, while also searching for some tissues somewhere in the recesses of Mingyu’s truck. There are some Starbucks napkins in the side pockets of his car and they’ll have to do. He looks from the napkins in his hand to Mingyu’s face, unsure of whether to wipe his tears for him or not (he’s frustrated with himself for being so incompetent right now). 

Mingyu makes the decision for him, taking the napkins from his hands to hastily wipe his tears. Wonwoo’s throat feels dry the longer Mingyu goes without looking him in the eyes. 

Except he finally does, and Wonwoo feels like descending into a bottomless pit underneath the Earth to never resurface again.

“I like Minghao, Wonwoo,” Mingyu says, his voice raspy as he chokes back on his sobs, “Also. God. I think I’m gonna throw up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT and so sorry for any feelings i may have caused with this chapter.
> 
> please, comment what you think!! i absolutely love reading your comments, they make my day!


	8. the sleepy poet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo is beginning to enjoy Mingyu's presence.

_I like Minghao._

_I like Minghao._

_I like Minghao._

_I like—_

“Hey, how’s he doing?” 

Wonwoo is too absorbed in his own thoughts, he doesn’t even hear Minghao and Jun enter the room, or even the apartment for that matter.  It’s pitch darkness in the room, but no one moves to turn on the light in fear it’ll wake up the sleeping prince. The clock reads 12:37am, Wonwoo can’t really place how much time has passed of him just sitting and staring at Mingyu. Minghao sits down on the edge of the bed (Wonwoo can see, just barely, that he's got Jun's sweater on), the same expression of concern corners his eyes when he looks to his friend, and he has to repeat the question because Wonwoo’s forgotten it was even asked. 

“He threw up on the side of the road,” he tells them quietly, and both boys grimace, “But he knocked out as soon as we got in. I made him take some water but he’ll need to drink more once he wakes up. I also set aside two migraine pills for the morning.”

“Alright, sounds good,” Jun nods, “do you wanna crash here or…? Minghao is staying the night, but we have enough space for you too. Or I can send you back.”

_Stay the night?_ Oh god no.

“Um, yeah, can I get a ride back? I have to feed Mochi in the morning so…” 

God bless Mochi providing a valid excuse for him to be home. The morning would be painfully uncomfortable for him, he’d rather save himself from that awaiting chaos. Plus it’s been a long day, and he desperately needs his bed to recover from watching Mingyu cry and cry and cry until he’s got no more tears left, the look of his glistening eyes and trembling, unstable shoulders, the sound of his voice cracking every time he spoke. Wonwoo takes a shaky inhale. He really wants his bed. 

“Oh right! Okay, let’s go right now,” Jun searches his pockets for his keys, then begins heading out the door, “Minghao, I’ll be back in like ten minutes.”

Minghao is eyeing them, and he actually looks quite forlorn seeing them together in one frame. 

_Jun likes you, Minghao thinks that, too._

Wonwoo regrets not taking some Advil for his own headache. 

“Make sure he drinks water,” Wonwoo says to Minghao, quietly not to wake Mingyu up. The other boy just nods and waves them goodbye.

Once they’re out the apartment and running (Wonwoo normally doesn’t run, but it’s far too chilly to be outside right now) into Jun’s car, he sighs heavily, all the weight of this finally hitting him.

Jun chuckles as he turns on the heater, “You okay?”

He contemplates for a second, letting the heat disperse around the car and he sighs again.

“No. No, I’m actually not,” Wonwoo says rather sternly, putting his seatbelt on in the process, then facing Jun straight in the eye, “do you like Minghao?”

It startles Jun, who stops midway into inserting his keys, then drops his hand to his lap, “Wait, wh—“

“Do you. Like. Minghao,” Wonwoo repeats, direct and clear though he knows Jun heard him the first time around. 

The other stares back at him for a while, and then finally gives in. He jingles his keys around for a bit, but the clank of them don’t offset the words that come out his mouth, “Yeah. I do.”

It eases a bit more tension in their tiny, enclosed space, but not enough. Not nearly enough. 

“Why did you guys break up then?” Wonwoo inquires, and he doesn’t miss the flinch of Jun’s eyes once it’s out in the air. 

But he dodges the question, “Who told you this?”

“Does it matter?”

Jun knows he’s right.

“Uh,” he looks out the window, as if the moon and stars could help him now, then clears his throat, “I called it off. I broke up with him.”

And it takes a while for him to continue, but he eventually does. 

“I felt like… I felt like I was holding him back? Like… he deserves so much more than this small town. And me,” he swallows, “I stay here because of the family business, and I don’t mind it at all. I like being here. But he… he has a lot more going for him, you know? Like. He could become really big in the city, or something. He can dance, like really, _really_ well.”

“So can you,” Wonwoo comments, remembering how Soonyoung boasted about the two back when they took dance classes in university. 

“But he’s _so_ good at it. And I already have my future set out for me. I have to stay here and run the business. Minghao deserves a future with dance, and you can’t get that here. You know how Jihoon has a job lined up for him in the city? I feel like… I dunno, that could be Hao too. And I don’t want him to stay here for me,” he scoffs, “why would I do that to him, when he deserves so much better.”

Despite the windows being shut, the smell of the ocean still permeates it’s way into the car. Everything around them is a royal blue color, Wonwoo finds that it matches the mood. 

“Have you even talked to him about this? You can’t decide what’s better for him, you know that right? What if he wants to be with you, what if _that_ is what’s better for him? Something like this requires two people, you can’t call all the shots.”

And the other buries his head into the wheel and sighs. He doesn’t say any more, his body unmoving. And Wonwoo gets it, he really does. Jun’s selfless, and he can damn near _feel_ how much he cares for Minghao. He wonders if someone will ever care for him like that.

“I think you should talk to him,” Wonwoo continues, his voice soothing, “I know it’s not easy. But… if you like him that much, you should be able to work things out.”

“And what if my feelings aren’t returned? It’s been 3 months since we’ve broken up, what if he’s already moved on?”

Wonwoo takes a deep breath, closing his eyes because _why can’t everyone just talk to each other about their feelings so this can all be wrapped up._

“Just talk to him,” is all he can say, and they leave it that. 

**

It’s almost 3:30am, an ungodly hour to be up, but Wonwoo can’t fall asleep, staring up at the bare white ceiling because he can’t quiet his thoughts down. Mochi is at the foot of the bed, fast asleep—Wonwoo’s quite jealous of her. He hasn’t felt the littlest bit of drowsiness yet hit him. 

“Ugh,” he groans, rubbing his hand over his face and turning to his side. His whole body is cold, he hadn’t bothered to turn on the heater once he got in, and he feels quite stiff laying on his mattress. Like his weight isn’t his own. 

He groans again.

What. A. Mess. There were no other words to sum up the events of tonight. And it’s not that he didn’t already know Mingyu had a…. thing for Minghao. He had suspected it just the other day for God’s sake. But hearing it, the confirmation that there were indeed feelings. _One sided feelings_. To top it all off, _he_ somehow ended up in this weird, strange mix of things by absolutely doing _nothing_.

He closes his eyes shut as if that would help ease his conscious, but to no avail. 

As Jun’s friend, he wants him to be happy. Of course he does. And it seems like Minghao makes him happy, and vice versa. It wasn’t hard to tell they still harbored strong feelings for each other (despite the two of them being oblivious idiots) and Wonwoo thinks Mingyu had known that all along. And by helping Jun, he’s hurting Mingyu in the process and…. God. 

Life is really unfair. 

Wonwoo sighs. His mind rewinds back to that scene, to the look on Mingyu’s face as he spills out his confession (you know, right before he threw up). He had looked so… defenseless, raw emotion pouring from every orifice of him. Like he almost felt guilty for having feelings. The words, once again, sink into Wonwoo’s skin. He closes his eyes once more, this time really attempting to get some shut eye, because it's far too late and no good was coming out of thinking about this.

And luckily for him, his body begins to relax and his brain fades into a bleary darkness, all thoughts just sorta blurring into nothing. He cuddles deeper into his duvet and knocks out. 

**

Sunlight was warming up the room, the bright rays hitting Wonwoo’s bare skin. He hums at the heat of the sun before he realizes _it’s getting fucking hot_ and kicks the blankets off of him. The air conditioner kicks in automatically (“Hallelujah,” Wonwoo praises) and the gentle hum of cool air breezes it’s way throughout the apartment. He stretches his creaky limbs as he sits up, curling his toes and throwing his arms above his head. He checks the time on his phone, 12:03AM, making this the latest he’s woken up all summer. 

The sound of someone pounding on the front door fully wakes him up, and he doesn’t give a damn for a good minute, simply laying in bed, opening up a game on his phone. Until he realizes they really won’t stop.

“Who the hell…” He rubs the sleep out of his eye, refusing to think about last night as he slips into his house slippers. Naturally, Mochi has already beat him to the living room, staring up at the door awaiting it’s opening.

“Coming,” Wonwoo shouts out, just to get the other person to stop their goddamn obnoxious knocking. When he checks though the peephole, it’s blocked by a hand. He rolls his eyes and swings the door open.

“Soonyoung I swear to God—“

But it’s not Soonyoung.

No, no.

It’s Mingyu.

“Hi?” 

Wonwoo refrains from slamming the door in his face, only because that would be an extremely uncalled for response to Mingyu being at his front door with no explanation (as he tends to do, Wonwoo notes). But he had _just_ told himself not to think about last night, and Mingyu’s presence was certainly not abiding by that rule. 

“Uh… hi. What are you… what are you doing here?” He still sounds quite sleepy, having just woken up a minute ago, but oh well. Mochi meows, and then dashes back into Wonwoo’s room. He wishes he were a cat right now, no worries, no stupid love triangle (square?) dilemma to deal with, no one to please, no one to stress over.

“I’ve been out here for like thirty minutes!” Mingyu says, his dopey smile ever so present on his face. 

Wonwoo blocks the sun with a hand and squints, “That doesn’t really answer the question.”

“Oh right. Well, first of all. I wanted to thank you for taking care of me last night,” he shrugs casually, as if Wonwoo hadn’t heard his deepest darkest secret and watched him hurl over the side of the road and throw up in the process of taking care of him. 

“A text could’ve sufficed,” he says rather bluntly.

“Ouch. There’s more, jeez. I figured you would need someone to drop you off to your car, since you so kindly took mine back. I can give you a ride,” he ends with a wink, and Wonwoo scoffs. Although, the disgusted-induced nausea that normally follows is absent this time around. He doesn’t give himself enough time to think why that is. 

But that aside…

Mingyu’s got a point, he does need to get his car back from the restaurant parking lot, and if he were offering, why turn him down?

“Fine,” he says, “just give me some time to get ready. I just woke up.”

Mingyu chuckles, “Yeah, clearly.”

The pillow that gets chucked into his face was well-deserved after that comment. 

**

It takes Wonwoo about thirty minutes to get ready. He showers, changes, makes some toast, and they’re out the door. 

“How are you feeling by the way?” Wonwoo finally gets the chance to ask once they’re inside his car. 

“Minghao made sure I drank some water this morning, and some Advil. So I feel fine. Like last night never happened!” He says it all too happily, and Wonwoo frowns. 

“Uh… right,” and he hesitates for a slight moment before jumping right ahead, “Mingyu, do you remember what exactly—“

“I really,” he inhales, “…I know. I just don’t wanna talk about it. Not right now.”

Wonwoo respects that. He nods his head, his eyes drifting towards the road up ahead. Mingyu makes a left turn, going in the opposite direction of where they’re meant to be heading.

“Uh Mingyu? Where are you going, the restaurant is on the other side of town.”

But the boy makes no move to turn back around, instead grinning, “It’s a surprise,” he says giddily, “just sit tight.”

“Dear God, you sound like you’re about to kill me and dump me into the ocean,” he mutters. 

Mingyu only laughs, turning on the radio and rolling down the windows. Neither of them say another word, just the music to fill in the silence. The drive isn’t too long, it’s another ten-fifteen minutes until Mingyu is pulling into a small complex of buildings. He parks the car and smiles at Wonwoo. 

“Where are we?” Wonwoo asks, his eyes scanning the place. 

“I told you I wasn’t gonna kill you and drag you into the ocean,” he smiles wider, unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Actually Mingyu, you didn’t say that .”

“Oh,” he blinks, “well, whatever, that’s not what I’m here to do. Come follow me, follow me!”

He gets out the car first, and Wonwoo follows suit. Once he’s out the car, he gets a clearer vision of where they are.

“‘The Sleepy Poet’?” He reads the sign from the vintage-y, aesthetically rustic-looking building. Mingyu’s already striding towards the entrance, while Wonwoo merely stands there, rubbing his hand over his sleeveless arms. 

“It’s a book store! The only one in town,” Mingyu tells him, “stop lagging, let’s go in.”

He quirks an eyebrow, a small smile gracing his face once he hears the word “book store”. Mingyu proceeds to lead the way inside the shop, and Wonwoo notices a “HELP WANTED” sign decoratively scribbled on a sheet of paper pasted out the front window. He can’t help but feel a sort of thrill and enthusiasm well up deep within him, books were always his fun, safe space. It was like taking a kid to a candy shop. Soonyoung had even compared him to Belle from Beauty and the Beast many, many times because he enjoyed libraries immensely. 

The store is a bit chilly, Wonwoo regrets wearing a thin, loose tank top and shorts. But there’s aisles and aisles of books, various different kinds all sorted into different genres, and the cold is soon dismissed. Recent releases are laid up in tables at the front of the store, Wonwoo notices a couple that he himself owns back home. The place is homey, giving off a cozy, folksy vibe the more steps they take inside, even if the wood floor creaks a bit when they do. And it smells like parchment, and honey, and coffee, and Wonwoo is in his element. He feels all warm and fuzzy inside. There was always something so whimsical to him about book shops. 

“So…?” Mingyu is gazing at him expectantly, “do you like it?”

Wonwoo bites back a smile, “I mean, what’s there not to like?”

And Mingyu looks happy at that.

“Hi, welcome!” A petite girl with black rimmed glasses approaches them with a cart of books behind her, “do you need any help?”

“No, no, we’re just looking,” Mingyu answers for them. Wonwoo catches the girl do a double take at Mingyu— “no shock there,” he thinks—before she nods her head.

“Okay, well let me know if you need anything!” She says and scurries off with her wobbly cart to sort out the books. 

When Wonwoo turns to look at Mingyu, he’s gaping at him with an open mouthed grin.

“What,” he asks rather impassively in regard to Mingyu’s face. 

“Dude,” he whispers, “she was totally checking you out.”

He snorts, because she was _definitely_ checking Mingyu out, but he makes no effort to say that, “Well unfortunately for her, I’m gay, so it really doesn’t matter.”

Mingyu closes his mouth then. Wonwoo finds it quite funny and chuckles lightly.

“I didn’t know,” he says. 

“Now you do.”

At that, he parts ways with Mingyu then (there’s no time to waste dilly-dallying after all), going down the alphabetically sorted fiction books arranged neatly in tall dark mahogany book shelves. His eyes pass through authors like Oscar Wilde, Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Steinback, Murakami, Kafka, Hemingway—and that was only classic literature. There were still a plethora of contemporary authors he had to go through. 

Wonwoo picks books left and right as he loops around the store, soon enough his stack high enough where he can barely see in front of him. And now he really feels like Belle, the comparison is quite spot on if he must admit. He hopes the workers don’t mind, because he’ll most likely only end up buying one or two (he already has a pile of unread books saved for him back home). But it doesn’t hurt to add more to his list of “to-reads”. 

Additionally, he’s quite fond of the atmosphere the shop emits. As very pretentious as it sounded, Wonwoo liked his book stores a specific way—and this was easily making it’s way on his list. As he roamed from section to section, a feeling of serenity washed over him the more he indulged in different stories, the problems of last night soon forgotten.

He finds a poetry book on a top shelf he can’t reach, it’s by a guy named Stephen Burt, and before he can consider putting his heap of books down to grab a step stool, he sees Mingyu already reaching in that direction.

“Which one is it?” He asks, his fingers meeting the binds of the books around the one he wants.

“Um. The one, nope, not that one, to your left… no, _other left_ , there, that one, blue cover,” he directs him. Mingyu pulls the book out, giving it a glance over and adding it to the pile in Wonwoo’s hands. 

“Do you need help?” He asks, once he realizes how many books he’s gotten, “man, I leave you for thirty minutes and you have enough books to last you a year.”

Wonwoo is too spellbound with what the shelves have to offer to focus on what Mingyu is saying. He just hums in response and Mingyu goes on.

“Oh, I found a book I like! I think I’m going to buy it. It’s called _Wuthering Heights_.”

Which grabs Wonwoo’s attention. He turns around to face the boy, an apparent smirk on his face. Mingyu stops in his tracks and shows Wonwoo the book, which is indeed _Wuthering Heights._

“You’re gonna read _Wuthering Heights_? Of all books, that one?”

“Yeah. Why. What’s wrong with it? Have you read it?” He flips through the pages, probably trying to gauge a feel of the book. It’s a nice edition of the book, nicer than the one he owns, with a hardcover and blue floral print. 

“Nothing,” Wonwoo shrugs, his lips still curled amusedly, “whatever floats your boat. It’s quite the rollercoaster ride though.”

“I like rollercoasters,” he grins back, stuffing the book in an owl book bag he must be purchasing too. 

And they’re back to Wonwoo picking and choosing various types of books: poetry books, essay books, nonfiction, fiction, etc. Mingyu simply follows behind him, giving his input when he could, but for the most part, watching Wonwoo in amazement at how many books seemed to captivate him (“I’ve never seen you so excited before,” Mingyu muses). Occasionally he’d find a book he’s already read before, but would take it off the shelf just to show Mingyu and describe the plot to him, and how much he loved it, or even how much he _despised_ it.

“You really do like books,” the younger comments once they’ve finally taken a seat on a bench tucked away in the back of the store. 

“Mhm,” he hums, reading the synopsis of novel he’s just chosen. It’s a mystery drama, one Jeonghan had actually recommended to him. Though he can see in the corner of his eye that Mingyu is being fidgety, taking books out only to slide them back in, or playing with the little knick knacks sold in racks at the end of the shelves. He sets the book down to give Mingyu his undivided attention.

“Hey,” he speaks, while Mingyu is looking at different Harry Potter bookmarks. He pulls out a Hufflepuff one specifically, the familiar colors of yellow and black, and Wonwoo makes a mental note that at least he knows his Hogwarts house (it’s a very, very important factor in a friendship). 

“What’s up?” He eventually responds, putting the bookmark aside.

He tears his eyes away from Mingyu’s, instead focusing on scratching at the fabric of the bench cushion, “I was just wondering why you took me here is all.”

“Oh,” and he takes a seat next to Wonwoo on the bench, “you said you weren’t sure what you wanna do with your life now that you’re done with school.”

“Yeah,” he nods, urging him to continue.

“Right, yeah, so. I was thinking that you could work as like a bookseller, or something like that. I mean… that’d be pretty cool, right? Like I heard you get to go to book launch events and meet authors! And stuff like that. You’d just be working with what you love, which seems, I dunno, ideal?” He chuckles nervously, “so yeah. It’s just a suggestion. If you’re completely opposed to it then I get it, you don’t have to pretend you like it. I was just throwing it out there.”

And… wow. 

Wonwoo merely stares at the other at a loss of words, his face quiet though his heart has quickened quite significantly. Mingyu’s sitting quite close to him, close enough so Wonwoo can smell his sandalwood, marine breeze-y cologne. He can feel something akin to… affection, the longer he stares. And he’s forgets there’s a heap of books in his lap when he stands up and they all collapse into the carpet floor. 

“Oh shit,” Mingyu reacts first, kneeling to grab all the books before the binds are damaged.

“Sorry,” Wonwoo just blinks in a strange stupor before finally moving to help, “I’m so sorry.”

“If the idea was so farfetched to you, you could’ve just said something,” he mumbled quite dolefully.

“No!” He immediately answers, “no, not at all. I… I don’t know why I reacted like that. I just, I actually really, really like the sound of that. Your suggestion. Working as a bookseller.”

“Wait,” Mingyu pauses, “seriously?”

He’s got a twinkle in his eyes, and Wonwoo feels his skin heating up.

“Yeah,” and he’s got a warm smile on his face to match the temperature of his body and there’s red flags going off in his head chanting _no, no, no_. He returns back to the task at hand, which is organizing all these books and he’s ignoring _this feeling_ and shoving it far far away because he cannot, _he cannot_ , deal with this right now. 

Mingyu looks very pleased with himself, his features much more relaxed now that Wonwoo’s expressed his opinion and the grin he has translates to his voice, “Well I’m glad. I’m really glad.”

Once they’ve gotten all the books in order, they sit back down and proceed to talk. Though it’s mostly Wonwoo talking about all the books in his hand, but Mingyu doesn’t have much to say, or rather, chooses not to interrupt. Though Wonwoo likes the tiny sounds Mingyu makes when he tells him something he presumably finds amusing, or the way his eyebrows raise when he tells him something interesting. The conversation flows with no trouble, no uncomfortable pauses, and Wonwoo doesn’t have to think about what he needs to say next. And it’s fun. It’s more fun with Mingyu. And he can’t explain why. A week ago he didn’t want the boy anywhere near his line of vision, anything he uttered put Wonwoo on the verge of yelling into thin air, or earned him a withering scowl.

He can’t even imagine what that feels like anymore, not when Mingyu is beaming at him and he’s got one of Wonwoo’s favorite books in his hands. And as good as the moment lasts, soon enough Mingyu’s phone chimes and he stands up once he reads the message; Wonwoo knows what’s about to entail.

“Uh… hey, so Minghao needs me,” he coughs awkwardly, doesn’t really know what to do with his feet, “is it cool if we head out now? I’ll take you to your car.”

His eyes aren't meeting his, just staring down at his phone as he texts Minghao back, and Wonwoo suddenly remembers. 

_I like Minghao._

He wishes he didn’t remember. The tension has skyrocketed, and after the silence that feels much longer than it probably was, Wonwoo finally answers. 

“Yeah. That’s fine,” and he’s trying not to contradict his tone with his words, sifting through the books he has to choose a couple, “I think the register is down here.”

He moves first, not wanting Mingyu to detect even the slightest disappointment in his face. And he doesn’t, too occupied on his phone. The situation feels quite odd now. He peers back to glance at Mingyu, who flashes him an easy smile.

“I had a lot of fun,” he says to him, soft and relaxed and real, a bit raspy, but it’s real. And Wonwoo, now seeing him closer, can see his face marred with lack of sleep, bags under his glassy eyes and his hair a little disheveled. 

He gives sort of a smile in return.

“Yeah. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to put an update out before i go back to school so here it is! it's a bit shorter, sorry about that!
> 
> hope you guys enjoy this (it's a lot less... stress inducing HAHA) but please comment with your thoughts!


	9. from the beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo and Soonyoung finally talk

“Do you think it’s too early to listen to Christmas music?”

Wonwoo glances over and sees Jihoon give Soonyoung a very apparent “uh, _yes_ ” look followed by a deviant snicker from Soonyoung, who proceeds to play “Have Yourself a Very Merry Christmas” despite the disapproving response. Wonwoo knows that even if he had said no, it wasn’t going to stop Soonyoung from playing it anyway. Because it’s July, and _of course_ Soonyoung is already in the mood for Christmas. Jihoon rolls his eyes, and then settles into a more comfortable position between Soonyoung’s legs as he scrolls through his phone. They fit together like a lock and key. 

The trio are currently lounging around Soonyoung’s living room, doing quite absolutely nothing. Wonwoo had been cordially invited under the pretense that it’d just be him and Soonyoung, only to find the lovely couple spooning when he walked in. So now he awkwardly feels like a third wheel. 

“Wonwoo, how are you even friends with this guy?” Jihoon asks him once Soonyoung belts out a note from the holiday tune rather off key. He masks his deep fondness for his boyfriend with annoyed comments and exasperated faces, and everyone knows it. 

Wonwoo scoffs, “How are you even _dating_ him?”

They both exchange a chuckle, and Soonyoung pretends to act offended as he hits Jihoon’s chest multiple times. 

“Screw you. Both of you! You know you love me,” he proclaims, lowering the volume on his phone. 

“I dunno about that. I’m only friends with you because our parents made us hang out when we were younger,” Wonwoo teases in an all too serious, unwavering tone. Jihoon cackles, watching Soonyoung’s lips pout until he can’t resist and says he’s only joking, assuring him he really does love him. Wonwoo feels like throwing up, in the least offensive way as possible because they’re actually _so darn cute_ , that it just makes him sick. 

He hates them.

And the room quiets down once again, Wonwoo reverting to the book in his hands while Jihoon and Soonyoung giggle to themselves as they watch old Vine compilations on Youtube. They stay like that for another ten minutes until Wonwoo is reminded of the events of the other day. Mingyu. Bookstore. _Job_. And Wonwoo suddenly gets a rush of excitement in wanting to break the news to someone. 

“Hey. Guys,” he speaks up, and both of them immediately meet his gaze. He sets his book down (but not before folding the corner of the page) and scoots in closer to where they’re sitting. 

“What’s up,” Soonyoung asks. His fingers are intertwined with Jihoon’s, his thumb rubbing the back of Jihoon’s palm soothingly. 

“So,” a smile is cracking his face, “I think I’ve figured out what I’m gonna do. Like, as a career.”

“Seriously!?” Soonyoung sits up from his bean bag, all golden and beaming with anticipation over the good news. 

“What is it?” Jihoon asks, and he also looks intrigued, a tiny smile splaying on his face. 

“Yeah. So, uh, I think I wanna be a bookseller,” he tells them quite slowly, and he knows it’s not the most enthralling job ever, but their responses make it seem like he’s just discovered the cure to cancer, and it makes him even happier. 

“Wonwoo!” Soonyoung dashes to his best friend and holds him tight, _extremely tight_ (Wonwoo can feel Soonyoung’s cheeks squished up against his biceps and his lithe arms begin to hurt in the compact space he’s in), “this is the best thing I’ve ever heard! I don’t know much about what a bookseller does but I know it’s the perfect job for you already!”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, because that’s typical Soonyoung, but he can’t help but widen his smile. 

“Honestly man, it seems very fitting for you,” Jihoon agrees with a nod, “are you going back to the city for that or…?”

Wonwoo wiggles out of Soonyoung’s embrace and shrugs, “I guess I haven’t thought that much into it.”

“No!” Soonyoung immediately yelps, “You can’t leave. Jihoon’s already leaving for the city, how am I supposed to live with you gone, too!?”

“You did it for the past eight years,” Wonwoo chuckles, fixing his fringe plopped on his face in a disarray. 

“It’s so nice to have you back though, I don’t want you to leave,” he mumbles more to himself, though Wonwoo hears him quite clearly. And, well. Wonwoo _has_ been dreading leaving this place at the end of the summer, a thought that was always in the back of his mind. And being back definitely has been nothing short of a good time, he’s easily assimilated and reclaimed the place at home. It'd be a shame to go back to the city when he’s got everything he needs right here. 

“Wonwoo, there’s a bookstore in town you know. You can apply there?” Jihoon stands up to stretch out his arms and legs before taking a seat on Soonyoung’s desk chair, “Pretty sure they’re hiring as well.”

His eyes light up. Surely Jihoon is talking about The Sleepy Poet. 

“Right. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Actually, uh, Mingyu took me there. He’s the one who suggested this idea,” he says it rather quietly, as the words surface into the air, he realizes that _that thing_ happened and he’s not quite sure of what to think about it. Or, more like, what _they’ll_ think about it. 

Jihoon’s eyebrows shoot up, and his lips curl into a smirk, “Mingyu took you there?”

Oh, goody. 

Wonwoo can feel his face heating up. He tries to play it off cooly, hoping he at least somewhat succeeds, “Uh, yeah. He was taking me back to my car at the restaurant and we just stopped along the way.”

“Restaurant’s on the other side of town,” Jihoon’s smirk widens.

“He was just helping me out,” Wonwoo explains quickly, “I was telling him at the dinner I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my life and we sorta got to talking and he decided to take me there.”

“Uh huh,” Jihoon has a look on his face that oozes of mischief, and Wonwoo chooses to ignore it. It’s a similar look Soonyoung gives him every time he notices Jun is within close proximity to him, and now Wonwoo knows why the two are so perfect for each other. 

“Well, that sounds like fun! I’m glad you’re getting along with everyone,” Soonyoung, oblivious to the situation, smiles warmly and pats his friend on the back, “Mingyu is a lot of fun!”

“Indeed he is,” Jihoon snickers, then turns around on the swivel chair to face Soonyoung’s Mac Book. He makes no other comment about Wonwoo and Mingyu hanging out, and somehow that makes Wonwoo feel even _more_ fidgety. 

“So you can work there then, right?” Soonyoung pesters on, shaking Wonwoo’s leg in an unrelenting manner, “apply at the bookstore here!”

“I mean. Yeah? I guess. Yeah,” he nods, because Soonyoung’s right, he could. He could. He feels his inside start to electrify, everything inside his body bouncing off the walls because _he could_. 

“Great! It’s settled then! You’re never leaving us Jeon Wonwoo.”

“Sounds like a nightmare,” they hear Jihoon mutter aloud. He’s only kidding of course, but Soonyoung still attacks him. 

**

The Star Wars theme blares over all the chatter and Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Jeonghan all jump in shock (“Have you _never_ seen a Star Wars movie before?” Vernon laughs at the two. “I just forgot how loud it was!” Seungkwan defends himself, and Seokmin feverishly nods in agreement). To no one’s surprise, a good chunk of the group sing along to the iconic opening title song in an annoyingly-comical manner. Wonwoo sits back against the recliner, putting all his focus on the movie and not the figure seated directly in front of him, who remarkably smells like vanilla—he must’ve just came right after a shower.

It was another one of the hotter days of the season, all the boys too lazy and sluggish to be outside, thus opting to spend time indoors with a working conditioner. Seungcheol offered up his apartment immediately, saying he had a bunch of ice cream he needed to get rid of in his freezer anyway. That won everyone over in a split second. 

“‘It is a dark time for the rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy,’” Jun dramatically reads aloud from the screen, with added hand gestures for effect. Minghao snorts at him. 

“Thanks Jun, because, you know, we’re all illiterate,” Jihoon says at him, which results in a stream of laughter amongst the boys. 

Wonwoo is busy throwing popcorns up in the air to catch with his mouth when Seungcheol asks if he could turn the volume down (a request that surely came from Jeonghan) since the remote was next to him. 

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu nudges his foot. His voice cuts through his concentration, hitting him like a bullet, “can you lower the volume?” 

He misses the popcorn in the air, landing right on his lap instead. All the guys are watching him, he can feel the influx of attention more than he can see it. He can hear some giggling. 

“Oh. Shit. My bad,” he lamely apologizes, lowering the volume on the TV from a 60 to 54. Mingyu just smiles at him before turning his head back to the screen.

They haven’t spoken much since their little “rendezvous” that day. In fact Mingyu seems glued to Minghao more than ever. When Wonwoo had arrived to Seungcheol’s, the other was too busy choosing which movie to watch with Minghao and Jeonghan to even notice him. Not that Wonwoo demanded his full undivided attention… 

He tries not to think much of it, it’s not like that day meant anything significant anyway. It was just a small hangout. But it’s hard, because all Wonwoo wants is to be tucked away on that bench in the bookstore and ask Mingyu how he’s liking _Wuthering Heights_ , how far he’s gotten into the book, and maybe he’ll talk about his own books as well.And Mingyu would give him that blinding bright smile he gives him when he sits and listens, and everything would feel okay. Like the weight of the world suddenly isn’t so crushing as it normally would be. 

He mentally slaps himself in the face, not wanting to dwell on this topic for too long. His focus returns to the movie, even though the beginning sequence of Luke in the ice planet Hoth is all too familiar as he’s seen this movie plenty of times. He hears Seungkwan whispering to Vernon questions about what’s going on (“So you _haven’t_ seen a Star Wars movie,” Vernon confirms with a smirk) and Soonyoung is currently still on the debate whether or not it’s too early for Christmas songs, with Jun this time. For all he knows he may be the only one really paying attention to the movie. It wouldn’t be the first time.

It normally starts the same, they all sit around the living room area with the TV playing reruns of a show they’ve probably all seen before (last week it was The Office). They all tease each other harmlessly, passing around snacks and drinks with wide grins and easy hearts. Eventually they decide on a movie to divert their attention to. The rule started out that it has to be something everyone agrees on. Over time, this turned into majority rules because, well, thirteen people is a hell of a lot of people to please and there’s always that one person who wants to watch an animated movie, or rom-com, or absolutely will _not_ do horror (though they eventually coaxed Seokmin). Sometimes it takes over an hour to choose a movie, sometimes it takes as less as ten seconds. Wonwoo secretly keeps to himself that choosing the movie is his favorite part, he loves watching everyone get defensive over the movies they love. If it’s night time and it gets too late, they all fall asleep on the floor, cozy like that somehow. And sometimes it’s not all thirteen of them, even Wonwoo misses out on movie days occasionally. But times when they’re all together, it’s content. It solidifies _something—_ their friendship? their bond?—and reminds Wonwoo why he’s glad to be here. 

“Hey, can I get some popcorn?” Mingyu asks midway into Han Solo saving Luke from freezing to death in a cave. Wonwoo attempts to keep his eyes affixed straight on the movie as he passes the bowl to Mingyu, but ends up hitting his forehead straight on in a harsh thrust. 

“Ow!” Mingyu cries, rubbing his forehead and the bruise that may be forming from the glass bowl. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Wonwoo retracts the bowl away once he hears Mingyu wince. He leans in closer to Mingyu’s body to get a better look of his forehead, “are you okay?”

“You good?” Minghao slants his body back to see what the commotion is about, stifling a chuckle at his friend’s apparent misery. Wonwoo fiddles with the hem of his tank top until Mingyu responds. 

“Yeah. I’m fine,” Mingyu assures them both, his lips forming a tiny smile (Wonwoo can’t really see anything with his hand covering his face, but he can make out his little canines that stick out), “first the books, now this? And I thought _I_ was the clumsy one.”

Mingyu’s got that teasing lilt to his voice that makes Wonwoo rip his gaze from him and towards the movie once again. Mingyu’s amusedly smirking at him, he just knows he is. He can see from the corner of his eye as he reaches over and grabs some popcorn in the bowl, the vanilla scent much stronger now as he draws closer. Maybe if he were more confident, more bold, and with more reason to do such act, he would’ve asked Mingyu to sit next to him then. But he just watches as he turns back to the movie with a handful of butter popcorn, Minghao eating some off the palm of his hands. They laugh between each other about whatever, Wonwoo can’t read lips very well so he can’t comprehend. 

And a terrible thought crosses Wonwo head, he’s not sure why it does, but it suddenly hits him. Despite a friendship blossoming between him and Mingyu, it’ll never be like Mingyu and Minghao’s relationship. And for some reason, it eats at Wonwoo in every way possible, until he can no longer sit and watch the two of them quietly. He rises from the recliner instantly, before he really has time to think about it, and clears his throat. 

“Hey, uh,” the dark eyes that bore into Mingyu’s move the second they share eye contact, and he chooses to look at Chan instead, “I forgot to feed Mochi. So I’m gonna head back now.” And it’s all too rushed but the words come out and all he knows is that he wants to leave. Because he realizes how much of a joke he is for thinking Mingyu would actually acknowledge him when Minghao is around. And that might not even be entirely true, but it’s what his mind is telling himself and the longer he watches at Mingyu affectionately gazing at Minghao, the desire to leave grows. 

He awkwardly stands, frozen as he waits, in the corner of the room while everyone is peering up at him, sad frowns plastered on their face. And just to torture himself even more, he quickly glimpses at Mingyu only to receive a quiet, blank stare. It’ s not unsettling, but it’s not very Mingyu either. 

“Aw, that’s alright. I’m glad you stayed for a good… twenty? Twenty minutes of the movie man! I’ll lead you out,” Seungcheol says, and removes his arms around Jeonghan to stand up. When Wonwoo peers over at Jun, he sees the man giving him a questioning look, and he simply looks away. 

“I’ll see you all later,” he gives a small, brief wave, and everyone amiably responds with their bye’s and see ya later’s until Seungcheol is walking him out the front door. 

He’s just about putting his shoes on and leaving the apartment, until, that is, he’s stopped. 

“Wonwoo!” Soonyoung calls to him, rushing to slip into his sandals, “I’m coming with you.” 

Caught off guard, Wonwoo furrows his eyebrows, “Uh, what do you—“

“Thanks for having us Cheol, we’ll see ya soon,” he claps the eldest’s shoulder, swings the door open and walks the two of them out. Seungcheol says a final goodbye and shuts the door, leaving the duo be. Wonwoo, on the other hand, is confused as to what’s happening. What is Soonyoung doing?

“Um, what are you doing? You came with Jihoon,” he states, not moving an inch from his spot on the porch. Soonyoung turns around to face him, his hands on his hips in a very parental manner and his left eyebrow arched.

“I know every time you make an excuse like that it’s to leave a situation you’re uncomfortable with,” it’s spoken with a pompous roll of his eyes, because he knows Wonwoo all too well and Wonwoo should’ve known that. He stands there, dumbfounded and a loss for words. 

“Soooo??” Soonyoung prods, a face that’s awaiting answers, “what’s up? You’ve been off for a while now. Normally you come to me about these things.”

He’s not sure what strikes a nerve within him, it’s like a switch just went off in his head that told him to release all this attitude inside him at full force (the angel on his right shoulder is telling him not to do it, Soonyoung did nothing to hurt him—he chooses to ignore the angel for today), but he can’t bring himself to care. 

“Well it’s not my fault every time we hang out, you’ve got Jihoon attached to your hip,” Wonwoo sasses, lifting his face to meet his friend’s gaze. He uses his sharp black eyes to his advantage. 

A brief moment of silence passed before Soonyoung purses his lips, obviously ticked off at the comment. 

“Oh, so that’s what we’re doing now?” He responds, moving his hands from his hips to cross them over his chest, and now he _really_ reminds Wonwoo of his mother. 

“Well I’m not wrong, am I?” Wonwoo retorts, finally stepping down from Seungcheol’s porch to head to his car parked on the other side of the road. His insides feel like their bubbling, steaming hot with frustration and he’s not sure what to do to settle himself down from what he’s feeling, he just wants to _leave._

“What is with you? I can’t recall the last time you’ve been a genuine asshole to me. Are you upset because I spend too much time with Jihoon? Is that what it is?” 

And despite the accusatory tone in Soonyoung’s voice, it’s still laced with concern and quite possibly hurt (Wonwoo is being an asshole after all). He sighs, rubbing his hands over his face. 

“No. No, that’s not it. It doesn’t involve you, alright?”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t care,” he counters, “If something’s bothering you, I’m here for you man. You know that.”

His eyes avert from Soonyoung’s, the eyes always got him, and his hands clench. He could try as long as his might allowed, but in the end, he hated arguing with his friend. And, to repeat, he is being an asshole. 

“Yeah, I know. I just—“ he shuts his eyes, trying to think of words, any words, just anything to explain his behavior, “I really don’t know.”

“Well. Let’s talk it out then,” he takes a step towards Wonwoo, closing the space between them, “What made you uncomfortable back in there?” 

He unclenches his hands, finally noting that they’re sweaty, and surely not just because the humid summer air. It’s a simple question, but one he can’t answer.

“I don’t… I don’t know,” he answers, smoothing his hand over the back of his neck, uneasy and quite nervous if he’s being honest. 

But he does know. Soonyoung knows he’s lying, Wonwoo can tell by the look on his face. 

“C’mon,” Soonyoung nods his head towards Wonwoo’s car, “let’s go for a drive.”

**

Wonwoo’s not quite sure what Soonyoung has in mind when he takes his keys and slides into his driver’s seat. The whole ride is quiet, Soonyoung doesn’t bother to talk (and a silent Soonyoung has to be one of the most fearful, deadly things Wonwoo’s ever encountered) thus Wonwoo doesn’t bother to say a word, make a single noise. Except it’s all _too_ quiet, that it feels loud. He resorts to staring out the window when suddenly the area begins to feel so habitual, a rush of sentimentality kicks in and he realizes the road Soonyoung is driving down is not one unfamiliar to him 

It’s a route he probably could remember backwards, having walked over this path a hundred times. The family suburb, the old, decaying water park that used to be the only source of fun in this small town right next to the field of the greenest grass Wonwoo’s ever seen (it’s thick and unruly now, needing a trim).

And then their elementary school.

The nostalgia that washes over him feels incredibly pleasant in juxtaposition to his previous frustration. He welcomes it, allows it to brush away any negative sentiments. 

“Remember this place?” Soonyoung says with a soft smile, pulling into the school’s parking lot. The kids attending summer school must’ve just finished lessons for today, their surroundings soon becoming more and more private as kids pile into their respective cars. Wonwoo can almost remember his earlier years of school like it were yesterday. Naturally, he spent a lot of his “play time” reading on a bench, while Soonyoung had always tried to coax him to join him in what they called “The Jungle”. The memory of him jumping off the swing and breaking his arm in the process remains etched in his mind to this day, surely in Soonyoung’s too, since he had laughed over it for a week. He refused to go back into The Jungle for a whole month, until Soonyoung had to literally drag him, kicking and (somewhat) screaming. 

“Why are we here?” He asks, his eyes now fixated on the school’s main office (he wonders if it still smells like peppermint and green tea). So many times had he been in that tiny office, over the littlest things no less. Soonyoung swore a bee stung him in the eye once, claiming he was going blind, and Wonwoo had accompanied him to the nurse’s office only for her to giggle at the two of them. To save them from the embarrassment, she went along with it. And memories like these keep coming to Wonwoo, he forgets there’s actually a conversation need to be made because all he can think about was how simple elementary school was. He misses it terribly. 

“It’s been a while,” Soonyoung finally answers. He unbuckles his seatbelt, sitting back on his chair with a content sigh, “So much fun.”

“You’re not gonna cry, are you?” Wonwoo teases, but when he does eventually turn to look at his friend, he notices his eyes do look a little wet, his lips trembling the slightest. He was always such an easy crier. 

“Shut up,” Soonyoung responds with a smile, rubbing his eye, “I haven’t been back since, I dunno, _forever_ ,” another pause, “I told myself I wouldn’t come back here until I was with you.”

Wonwoo’s heart tugs at that, a smile flashing into existence, and now he feels like crying a bit. And they sit like that for a little while, taking in their old school grounds. Except Wonwoo knows Soonyoung didn’t just bring him here to induce nostalgia and talk about memories of their youth. 

“So…” Right on cue, the ice is broken, “what’s up? Like. What’s really up. Don’t bullshit me Jeon Wonwoo, we’ve been friends for a decade now, I deserve to know what’s going on with you.”

Leave it to Soonyoung to bring him to the one place that would break down his walls and leave him invulnerable, open. A wise, wise man he is. Wonwoo sighs, yet again, knowing there’s no way out of this at this point. And he does want to tell Soonyoung, he’s been wanting to tell him. Putting it into action, however, is another story. 

“I don’t really know where to start.”

Soonyoung stares at him for a bit, and then clears his throat, “From the beginning.”

And just like Jun had hesitated to begin with Wonwoo the other night, Wonwoo hesitates with Soonyoung. And not because it’s Soonyoung, _God no_ , it’s because of himself. And there’s about fifteen seconds of excruciating, silent seconds of indecision that passes before Wonwoo finds it within himself to speak. 

“Right. Well. From the beginning. So,” he thinks momentarily, deciding this would truly be ‘the beginning’, “Okay, so, I actually know Mingyu.”

And as Wonwoo had expected, Soonyoung looks confused, “Yeah. I know that? What does this—?”

“No, like. I had met Mingyu before this summer. _Years_ before this summer. Around the time I met you, actually.”

A beat of silence passes before Soonyoung replies.

“Wait. _What_?” 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, so, we lived in the same neighborhood. And _God_ , Soonyoung, I was so mean. I was such a fucking asshole to him. I know I was only six but I despised him _so much_. All he ever wanted to do was hang out with me and I always shut him out,” he swallows, staring down at his hands as he searches for words, “I don’t even know why. I just… I just didn’t like him? I only hung out with him once, and then, I dunno, I found him so annoying even though, in actuality, he really wasn’t, I was just dumb. It sounds like I’m just beating myself up over nothing because we were just kids after all but just bear with me. And he doesn’t remember, or, well, he doesn’t know who I am. At least I don’t think he does, he hasn’t brought it up to me and I’m too… too fucking _scared_ to say anything.”

“Wonwoo—“

“No, I’m not done,” he interrupts abruptly, “because… because his dad died. You know that. I didn’t know that, I didn’t know that and, Soonyoung…I met his dad before. He looked me straight in the eyes and told me he’s glad I’m friends with his son even though I pushed Mingyu away after that, for no reason. And then he… then he passed away, and Mingyu moved out of town shortly after that and all he needed was a friend and I couldn’t be that for him because I was such an idiot. And am I hanging out with him because I’m redeeming myself for what I did? Do I actually like him?”

“Hey—“

“And it’s a whole big chaos, because Mingyu… likes Minghao but Minghao likes Jun, but they think Jun likes _me_ and,” he exhales, “Mingyu has this look on his face every time Minghao talks about Jun, and he looks so broken. I’ve seen it a few times and it’s like _I_ can feel what he’s feeling. And I can’t tell him everything is going to be okay because Minghao and Jun clearly have feelings for each other, I just talked to Jun about this and then that leaves Mingyu off to the side, you know? And I can’t lie to him, I think he even knows what’s really going on but he latches onto Minghao. So here I am, with all this information that I’ve somehow accumulated during my time here and I don’t know why it makes me feel so…” he trails off, not sure how to finish that sentence, “I don’t… I just…. I wanna give him _everything_ but all he cares about is Minghao.”

There are a lot of emotions Wonwoo feels too strongly the second he finishes rambling. For starters, he feels drained, the words that he’s been holding in from Soonyoung now finally erupted. And he feels out he feels out of breath, like he’s been swimming underwater for too long. And lastly, he feels his heart _ache_. Like it actually physically hurts him. He forces himself to look at Soonyoung, whose eyes are hooked into his own. He looks pained as he stares into Wonwoo, like he can see his entire soul. Exposed. Bare. 

So he pulls Wonwoo in for a hug. And something about the way he says his name is so comforting, his hold strong and his body warmth enveloping. It takes a minute for Wonwoo to move his arms around Soonyoung’s body, too stunned over everything he’s spilled out. It’s overwhelming to say the least, it’s a relief to have it out in the air, but overwhelming because this is really what he’s dealing with. The air is filled with a thick, heavy matter now that what’s been said is said.

“I had no idea,” Soonyoung finally croaks out, pulling away from Wonwoo. It’s a lot, and Wonwoo can’t really expect anything from Soonyoung after all that he’s announced. There’s a few lingering kids around the school grounds running amok, the sound of their shrill laughter making it’s way into their car. Wonwoo remembers what that was like. 

“Well, I’m here for you, you know that right?” He knows it’s sincere and honest, because it’s Soonyoung, the man who would drop everything for Wonwoo in a heartbeat even if Wonwoo didn’t ask. 

And what he appreciates the most is that Soonyoung never tells him what to do, he knows that’s not what Wonwoo is looking for when he confides in him. It’s why he can talk to him about anything, he doesn’t judge, _ever_ , and he doesn’t suggest a course of action that makes Wonwoo feel uncomfortable. Just listens. Comforts. Soonyoung’s presence alone is enough, more than enough really. Sometimes he feels like he doesn’t deserve his best friend. 

And Wonwoo feels like he should be saying something, but his throat feels stuck and he’s quite frankly afraid he’ll shatter if he says anything more. But Soonyoung seems to understand that, he never pushes things like this because he understands Wonwoo. 

“He’s a nice guy,” he says, and it seems quite random, out of place, but Wonwoo knows who he’s talking about. 

It’s what makes this so much more frustrating, because Mingyu _is_ nice. Even when Wonwoo was being a dick (for lack of better word) to him a couple weeks ago, Mingyu was still so kind. He wipes the tears in the corner of his eyes inching to fall down his face before they actually do, sniffling slightly before hitting the back of his head against the head rest of his car. 

“Shit, Wonwoo,” Soonyoung stiffens, dropping his head to hands ashamedly, “oh my God, I’m so sorry. I’ve been pushing this whole thing with you and Jun and now you somehow got put into this. I had no idea. Fuck. I am so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Wonwoo tells him and he realizes his voice is shivering, “Really, don’t blame yourself. It’s fine.”

“I’m still sorry,” he tells him anyway, moving his head to rest against Wonwoo’s shoulder. 

Wonwoo repeats that it’s fine, feeling nothing but his thoughts that have now unraveled before them cling to him. Pulling him down, dragging him into an abysmal pit of darkness. He doesn’t want to, he wants to forget this, forget everything, and go on with his summer with no worries of Minghao and Jun and Mingyu. 

Unfortunately the universe doesn’t grant him that luxury. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is really so Dramatic like i'm sorry ??? ha ha. anyway, there isn't much meanie interactions in this chapter but i swearrrrr things will pick up!!
> 
> please comment, tell me your thoughts!
> 
> P.S.: isn't pinwheel like ... the most beautiful song vocal unit has ever released?


	10. fun and funnel cakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go to the fair.

Wonwoo tries not to think about how many days have passed since he’s last spoken to Mingyu. Sure, Mingyu replied to a message he sent in the group chat (it was some stupid pun he read from one of his books) and they’ve said hello’s to each other every time all the guys have gotten together (which admittedly has not been very often), but nothing more than that. 

It’s funny how the world works, Wonwoo thinks. The second he begins to tolerate Mingyu’s presence, suddenly he stops bothering him. He assumes that probably has something to do with Minghao. Which brings up another issue. Jun and Minghao. Every time Wonwoo asked Jun how things are going, Jun would just say “I’m working on it”. Which meant absolutely nothing to Wonwoo, so there was that. He has mentioned Minghao coming over more often, though, which must mean things are looking up for them. Except then he remembers Mingyu lives with Jun, which means Mingyu just gets to sit there and watch the two of them. 

Wonwoo can only imagine how painful that must be.

Sometimes he thinks about texting Mingyu, nothing too serious, just a “hey, what’s up?” or “have you finished _Wuthering Heights_ yet?”. He always throws his phone out of his hand before temptation gives in. It almost feels that whole visit to the bookstore didn’t happen, as it felt ages ago (it’s only really been 8 days—Wonwoo _isn’t_ counting) and the two have hardly spoken to each other since. Wonwoo actually begins to wonder if that whole thing had just been a dream, if he’s just going mad, but Jun had mentioned Mingyu using an owl tote frequently, so that confirms their date had been real.

Date?

No, not date.

Wonwoo shuts his eyes with a heavy groan. 

Soonyoung’s been a real help. He’s been spending more one on one time with him, effectively keeping his thoughts away from Mingyu. But at the same time, he helps him talk out his frustration about the whole ordeal if need be. Except Wonwoo doesn’t want to burden Soonyoung constantly, especially now that he’s gotten back to teaching dance lessons at the studio, so most of the time he’s just…

This.

Sprawled out in bed, with Mochi by his side, his laptop playing some show that really just serves as background noise (right now it's _The Office_ ), and a bag of opened white cheddar popcorn. He doesn’t mind the solitude really, it’s just the overthinking that grinds his gears. 

The soft afternoon glow spills through the blinds of the windows as he lays around. Wonwoo would normally tug the covers over his body, block himself from the sunlight, but he takes it upon himself to not stay in bed all day and actually do something with his life to keep himself distracted. 

So he rolls off the edge of his bed, makes for the kitchen, grabbing half a croissant and starting up the coffee machine. He already feels a bit more productive about his day. 

And it’s then he gets a text. 

Desperate for some sort of human interaction to keep him away from his thoughts, he scuffles to his phone on the other side of the kitchen to see who it’s from. 

It’s from the group chat, which is now named “Seungkwan’s Tan Lines” after the three different layers of tan Seungkwan got from a day at the beach where he fell asleep. Wonwoo had yet to see this spectacle, but according to Jun it’s absolutely hilarious.

The text comes from Mingyu. So much for keeping him out of his thoughts of said person. 

‘ _Hello my wonderful precious friends whom I have not seen for a while!’_

‘ _So, it’s been three days since the fair has started up’_

_‘And we haven’t gone yet…’_

The group chat has been quite dead for the past couple of days, but this seems to wake everyone’s spirits up as responses come immediately. Wonwoo hadn’t even known the fair had started up already, he’d only gone once when he was a kid which resulted in awful nausea, and eventual throw up after going on one of the rides that take you upside down several times. It certainly wasn’t categorized under his most memorable moments of his childhood. 

He settles into one of the stools, trying to think of something to say. The group chat is moving too fast, last whose said anything is Soonyoung with just a series of different smiling emojis. 

Needless to say, he wants to go. It would certainly be fun, and he’s been saying he needs to get off his lazy ass and do something (even though bed sounds _so_ nice, always). He would just maybe avoid the rides this time around. 

‘ _I’ll come too._ ’

The second he sends the text, Mingyu responds. 

‘ _Alright! How does 4pm sound?_ ’

It works perfectly, everyone who works will be off by then, and it gives Wonwoo more than enough time to get ready (as in, finally eat breakfast despite it being 12PM already, as well as shower and feed Mochi and get some reading in). He follows the pattern of sending a thumbs up emoji before setting his phone down. 

Mochi finally joins him in the kitchen, purring quietly against his leg before pouncing to her bowl of milk. Wonwoo finishes up his croissant and pours a cup of coffee with vanilla creamer in his mug, the smell fresh in the air. He moves to open the windows, allowing the soft sun rays to caress himself and the surroundings, mostly to hear the now all too familiar sound of the waves crashing as they meet land. He was all too fond of these moments of peace and calm, especially with the uncertainty for the rest of the day. 

**

Just as planned, everyone begins heading out fifteen minutes prior to the meet up time, 4pm. Wonwoo knew this because his phone constantly dings, everyone announcing they're on their way and their arrival time (either to the fair or to pick someone else up). But here Wonwoo was, still choosing an outfit.

You see, Wonwoo had considered getting ready two hours ago, decided that was too early, and was now scrambling about getting himself together because he lost track of time while playing games. It was a phenomenon that occurred more often than not. 

He eventually settles on a white tee, red flannel, and jean shorts, and makes a mental reminder to do laundry sometime soon after he throws his dirty clothes on top of a pile siting on the desk chair. Upon petting Mochi goodbye one last time and grabbing his wallet on the countertop, he’s finally on his way.

Luckily, his memory serves him correct, and he makes it to the fairgrounds without consulting his maps app. It’s filled with people of all ages, kids with their parents, teenagers in large groups, couples both young and old, all flocking towards the entrance in lively chatter. It doesn’t take long before he parks, but before he meets up with the rest of the guys who are waiting by the ticket booth, he gives himself a little pep talk.

_It’s just Mingyu. And the rest of the guys will be there too. Just stick with Jun—or wait, maybe not Jun. Stick with Soonyoung. Or maybe Joshua—_

The sound of his phone ringing deters him away from his stream of consciousness. It’s a call from Seungcheol.

“Hey, sorry, I just parked,” Wonwoo answers, unbuckling his seatbelt, “I’ll see you guys there in a minute."

“Sounds good man! And don’t worry about getting a ticket, Mingyu bought yours already.”

Wonwoo blinks, stunned, “Oh. Uh,” he scratches his head, “Okay, yeah, tell him… tell him I said thanks.”

“Will do! See you soon.”

“See ya.”

His hand falls and he sits there for a second before realizing they’re all just waiting on him. He shakes himself out of it, telling himself Mingyu’s just doing it out of courtesy, to save him the time, there’s really no other reason to it. 

He finally meets the rest of the guys, all standing underneath a huge arch of bright colored balloons, some taking pictures together that Wonwoo will surely see on Instagram later with a filter thrown on it. 

“Hey,” he greets with a wave, “sorry about being late.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Vernon assures him with a big grin, swinging his and Seungkwan’s interlocked hands, “let’s head in!”

Soonyoung makes his way to Wonwoo first thing, “Hey man, I know you don’t like the rides—“

“Wonwoo!” 

And just like that, Wonwoo begins to doubt whether coming was a good idea after all. His shoulders steel and he can feel his heart rate altering to something not of a normal pace. Mingyu’s perfectly glimmering eyes are smiling at him behind Soonyoung, holding out two tickets in his hands. 

“I got your ticket for ya,” he says with a coquettish smile, and Wonwoo _hates_ that smile and how it turns him into a puddle. Mingyu’s cut his hair since the last time they’ve seen each other, his bangs that used to fall past his eyes now rest right above them. And Wonwoo gets that it’s summer and it’s hot but does he _have_ to wear sleeveless shirts all the time?

He feels Soonyoung elbow him slightly, telling him to respond to Mingyu. 

“Right. Thanks, I can pay you back.”

The younger man shakes his head, “Nah, don’t worry about it!”

And something tells Wonwoo that Mingyu is doing it out of guilt, that he’s in fact paying Wonwoo back for something, maybe the night he took care of him, and Wonwoo frowns at the thought of Mingyu thinking he burdened Wonwoo.

Sure, it sent his brain in a whirlwind of thoughts, but he doesn’t regret being there for him. Not at all, not ever. 

“At least let him pay you back with food!” Soonyoung butts in, a wide smile on his face, “fair food does not come cheap, take advantage of this!” 

Mingyu chuckles, shrugging his shoulders, “I mean…”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo immediately says, before Mingyu can decline the offer, “it’s the least I could do.”

“You sure?” 

He nods his head, and then flickers his eyes away from Mingyu’s because they were looking down at him all clear and shiny, entrancing. Wonwoo didn’t like that.

“Let’s go slowpokes!” Jeonghan shouts to the three of them, the rest already inside the park now. 

“C’mon,” Mingyu tilts his head towards the group, “there’s so much I wanna get through today!”

Wonwoo can feel his insides doing flips. 

**

They decided to make a game plan on how this would go, and ultimately decided rides would be saved for the very last to, as Seungcheol put it, “heighten the experience.” Everyone was all on board with the plan—they were going to check out the exhibitions first which Wonwoo was particularly happy about as it was his favorite part about the fair. Although the food (despite how incredibly unhealthy it may be, as well as it being ridiculously overpriced) is a close second. 

“How’ve you been?” Mingyu asks him over a group of rambunctious teens passing by, and Wonwoo’s been completely aware that Mingyu’s been by his side since they walked in, but it still takes him by surprise when Mingyu speaks to him. 

“I—" is all Wonwoo can manage, because the weight of the question hits him and he knows it’s just a cordial inquiry to initiate conversation and normally, people would respond would “good, and you?” but Wonwoo can’t seem to say just that.

Mingyu breathes out a chuckle, “Same.”

“I mean,” Wonwoo blurts, “I'm fine.” He doesn't want to give Mingyu any reason to think otherwise. 

But the other just smiles at him, kicking his feet against the dirt, “I wanted to come here because I knew it’d be a good distraction. I also just love the fair,” he ends with a giggle.

Wonwoo turns his gaze towards Minghao and Jun. Minghao is animatedly talking to Jun as he listens with quiet nods and it almost looks like a huge heart should be framing the isolated duo. They've even come somewhat matching, both in red shirts and black jeans.

“Is it really? A distraction?” Wonwoo asks, because his curious is too overpowering. He knows Mingyu knows what he means, no matter the vagueness.

Mingyu’s focus on kicking the dirt becomes more concentrated, and Wonwoo thinks he’s going to choose to not answer that once he sees the seriousness overcome his face. 

“I guess. Maybe not,” and then he’s smiling again, “it’s fine. I’ll still have fun.”

“You will,” Wonwoo confirms, not that he needed to, but the look Mingyu flashes him tells him it was worth it.

Wonwoo’s afraid that they’ll just leave it at that, afraid that the conversation has died down and Mingyu will eventually leave him to hang out with someone else. He knows he’ll regret it if it does come down to that. So he keeps the ball rolling. 

“Uh,” he clears his throat, “have you finished _Wuthering Heights_ yet by any chance?”

Wonwoo can’t say he isn’t enamored by the way Mingyu’s face lights up like Christmas right before he begins a whole rant/appraisal session about the book, because he absolutely is. He simply watches him, speaking so bright and sprightly and he laughs so hard over Mingyu recounting his inner turmoil reading the book. He thinks he could listen to him talk forever. 

“It’s just…. _God_ , such a twisted, destructive book of love and passion and like… _Heathcliff?_ I was rooting for you—we were all rooting for you!” He throws his hands up in defeat and sighs, “the amount of feelings this book put me through is insane. I’m pretty sure there was a point where I wanted to rip my hair out my scalp. Jun probably thought I was going crazy when I tossed the book across the room.”

Wonwoo throws his head back in laughter, and Mingyu soon laughs with him and then they’re just two boys laughing as they walk around the fair having a grand old time in each other's presence. His heart feels light and fulfilled. 

“Did you not experience the same thing?” Mingyu asks once they’ve finally calmed down, running his hand through his silky black hair. 

“I think to a lesser degree than you did, but it certainly was frustrating to read. I couldn’t pick up another book for a while, I had to let it all just kinda seep in.”

“Are you _kidding_ me? Now I feel like I _have_ to read something, a love story with like, a normal, happy ending. I loved and hated that book all at once. Emily Bronte, you sure got me good!”

Wonwoo hates that he can’t stop smiling at Mingyu. And his perfect Disney prince looking hair and eyes and lips and skin and _everything_. Jun once told him he reminded him of Prince Eric from _The Little Mermaid_ and now he can’t get it out of his head. 

“Oh, hey. We’re here,” he says, and Wonwoo hadn’t even noticed they reached the exhibits already, the walk felt like barely five seconds. He stops in his tracks, taking it all in. It’s expanded since he’s last been here, the buildings larger and more exhibits to go around and they’ve added a stage for live performances right outside. He hears a commentator going on about an acrobatic show starting in five minutes, and everyone rushes to find seats surrounding the arena. The place is crowded, too crowded (it’s a Friday after all) and suddenly he realizes he’s by himself, the guys nowhere in sight. People are passing him left and right, some kids bumping into him, and he squints his eyes (he really should’ve worn his glasses) trying to look for his gang. 

“Wonwoo!” He hears, and his head turns to find Mingyu standing by the entrance to the building labeled A, waving his hands at him. The blur of everyone else’s faces is juxtaposed by Mingyu, the only person he can seem to make out clear as day. It lift’s Wonwoo’s heart in a strangely odd way. 

As he gets closer, he realizes the rest of the guys with him as well. Soonyoung, Jihoon, Minghao, Jun, and Chan all decide to watch the acrobat performance, leaving the rest of them to walk through the exhibits. 

“Let’s see,” Mingyu says, eyes sweeping quickly through a map, “it looks like the A building is the art one, B is for the kids, C is science, and D are the animals! Where do you wanna start?”

He’s looking at Wonwoo specifically, and only Wonwoo, the rest of the guys already heading to the different exhibits. Vernon and Seungkwan run into building D excitedly, something about lemurs and koalas. 

“I like the art one,” Wonwoo answers, trying to look everywhere but Mingyu because _Prince Eric, Prince Eric, Prince Eric_. He needs the thought erased from his brain at once. 

“Art it is! Let’s go,” and Wonwoo’s lip quirks at Mingyu’s enthusiasm as he follows him into the building. 

**

The timing works out perfectly, just as the boys finish making their way around each exhibit (Mingyu had even pushed Wonwoo into going into the kids one with him, _and_ doing all the interactive actives filled with five year olds. He felt less embarrassed about it when he turned around and saw Seungcheol and Jeonghan doing them as well) the live performance ends. The summer sun is still blazing high in the sky, and Wonwoo eventually has to remove his flannel since the heat was only picking up. Mingyu kindly holds it in his mini backpack for him. 

“So what next?” Chan asks once they’ve all regrouped in front of a large water fountain where kids are eagerly tossing their coins into and making wishes with held hands. 

“There’s the horse show! And all the cows and goats and other farm animals in the back, too,” Jeonghan says, jumping up and down in his shoes at the thought of the petting zoo. 

“I heard there are ostriches this year too!” Seokmin adds, and before they can all make an agreement, he and Jeonghan are already leading the way. 

All sorts of attractions and entertainment fight to steal their attention as they walk around. There’s a man on stilts that stops and talks to them, and then shortly after Chan and Mingaho wait in a line to hold a huge snake, then they wait in an even longer line because Seungcheol and Soonyoung want deep fried Oreos. And they’re all having fun, all the tension that Wonwoo knows is there seems to suddenly not be present, Minghao even comes up to him to record him in a Snapchat video, and Mingyu starts giggling because Wonwoo blocks his face from the camera. Laughs go all around, tons of pictures taken, and it’s another one of those days where Wonwoo feels grateful to being introduced to these boys.

They eventually make it to the horse race, the smell, however, not sitting quite well with any of them, but Jeonghan is determined to see this so they all try to find seats amongst the masses of people. 

“He really likes horses,” Seungcheol tells Wonwoo, “he makes us watch it _every year_ we come here.”

“You better not be complaining Choi Seungcheol!” comes Jeonghan’s voice shortly after. Wonwoo snickers. 

“Hey I like watching them, too!” Mingyu admits, “they let you pet them afterwards.”

And Wonwoo stops to admire the sun catching in Mingyu’s skin, he thinks the sun must _really_ like Mingyu because it always seems to latch onto him so perfectly, bathing him in golden light. The smile doesn’t help either, nor does the laugh. Or how he pushes his hair back because the heat, or every little tiny movement he makes that Wonwoo finds so endearing (Mingyu stretched his arms above his head and even then Wonwoo couldn’t help but watch). And it reminds him of how Soonyoung was when he first started developing feelings for Jihoon—Wonwoo knows because the man would call him in the middle of the day just to tell Wonwoo that Jihoon is “so cute” when he’s concentrated on his music, or when he wears black jeans, or when he eats chocolate. 

Yeah, Soonyoung was quite whipped.  _He still is_. 

Mingyu catches him staring at him and gives a wry smile, “Take a picture, it lasts longer."  And it sends Wonwoo _over the damn edge_ , and Mingyu just laughs, saying he’s just messing with him. Wonwoo just rolls his eyes, but it does't erase the fact he was caught staring. 

“Looks like there’s no more seats left,” Seungcheol cuts in, “they got the last of them in the back.”

Wonwoo detects Soonyoung shooting him an ‘L’ for loser in his seat, chortling with Jihoon and Seokmin and Seungkwan. He shakes his head, attempted to flip him off but remembering there are kids around. He doesn’t mind standing that much anyway, it’d be easier to leave this way. 

“So Wonwoo, how are you liking the fair so far?” Seungcheol asks him, leaning against the railing. He proceeds to roll up the sleeves of his short sleeve, the heat getting to him, too. 

“A lot more than the first time I was here,” he chuckles, “I threw up on one of the rides last time.”

“Wait. You’ve been here before?” Mingyu inquires, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise and his whole body turned to face him now. 

Wonwoo nods his head, “Only once when I was younger.”

“Don’t you remember? He lived here years ago,” Seungcheol adds, then finishes eating his last deep fried Oreo and downs his water bottle. 

“Oh, right!” Mingyu snaps his finger, and then he slightly tilts his head to the side, a look on his face that says he’s about to ask a lot of questions, “wait. Where did you live when you were here? Your aunt’s place?”

Wonwoo’s heart rate begins to pick up at the question of his childhood, he’s been so protective of hiding his backstory from Mingyu for so long, he never anticipated for the day he would eventually ask him, “Uh… no, I, um… I lived with my parents.”

“What street were you on?”

“I’m blanking on the street name,” he lies, hoping that’ll end this discussion, but it does not. He desperately wishes he were just a background character right now, not the person with the spotlight and all attentive eyes on him. Especially Mingyu's. He flicks his hair away from his eyes nervously. 

“You lived in the same neighborhood as Soonyoung though, right?” Seungcheol asks now, and Wonwoo bites the gums inside his mouth, “he used to tell me how you’d always come over.”

“Y-yeah. Around that area,” he clears his throat, trying to focus on the horses and _why haven’t they taken off yet_. 

“I lived near Soonyoung,” Mingyu comments, brows furrowed, “huh. What a coincidence. My old place was on Dante Road.”

Mingyu knows that street, it was the one that intersected right with his old house. And panic begins to numb his body as he attempts to come up with some half-assed response and change the topic into something safer. He can nearly hear his watch ticking, how much time has gone by since he’s said anything? His heart is beating a rhythm that would read “hello I’m nervous as hell” and his throat feels dry. 

“… and here they come!” The announcer shouts thunderously and the sound of the gun clicking successfully draws their attention to the race, and most importantly, away from this conversation. Everyone begins screaming and shouting, and he’s glad the external volume drowns out the apprehensive thoughts in his head. 

Wonwoo gives a tiny sigh of relief. _Thank God for these horses_. 

**

After petting a variety of different animals (not excluding Seungkwan’s whole lecture on the ethics of caging these animals for the purpose of human entertainment), and the sun now beginning to graze over the horizon, a soft hue of pastel pinks and blues coating the sky wondrously, the boys decided to head to the food. They pass by more spectacles, there's always never enough at the fair, and some guy tries to sell Seokmin a whole new kitchen set of appliances. The poor boy couldn't say no, Seungcheol had to come and swoop in to save him. 

“Chocolate covered sprinkled bananas,” Seungkwan groans in hunger and awe, “oh, oh, or the candy apples!”

“My stomach is growling,” Chan says, “I’m so ready to eat.”

There are all sorts of different food vendors posted around the area, and all sorts of smells pushing and pulling Wonwoo left and right. And to reiterate what Chan said, his stomach is positively _growling_.

“The funnel cakes are my favorite,” Mingyu says to him, “what about you?”

Wonwoo’s still been on thin ice since the horse race, paranoid Mingyu will bring up the old conversation but he tries to remain calm, forget about it. If he remains reluctant to speak with Mingyu all night, it'd only raise suspicions. 

“I can’t tell if I want something savory or sweet,” he answers, his eyes darting across all the different food booths to find something that wins him over. 

“How about I get something sweet, a funnel cake, and you can get something savory and we can just share?” Mingyu suggests with shrug, “best of both worlds, right?”

Wonwoo knows something as mundane as sharing food shouldn’t come to him as such a shock, but it does. He swallows, his skin cells picking up a fiery warmth that isn’t coming from the sun.

“Yeah, that works,” he says, and it sounds too stern which was not his intention as all, but hopefully Mingyu understands that. 

“Alright perfect!” He claps his hands together, beaming at Wonwoo cheerfully.

“Hey,” Jun approaches them, and it’s about the second time he’s done so today, too preoccupied with Minghao and Wonwoo, well, with Mingyu. The thought gives him a weird feeling in his stomach. 

“Hey,” Wonwoo says, “have you decided what you’re gonna eat?”

“Minghao’s getting us some tacos,” he grins, “what about you guys? Mingyu, you always get the funnel cake, yeah?”

“Yeah! We’re gonna share it. And share something savory. We just haven’t gotten there yet,” Mingyu answers, “I’ll go look around and see what they have. Report back to you in five.”

Wonwoo snorts, “Alright, I’ll be waiting.”

The second Mingyu saunters off from hearing distance (which doesn’t need to be _that_ far considering how loud it is), Jun gives him a buttery smirk, “‘ _I’ll be waiting_ ’?”

“Shut up,” Wonwoo grumbles, embarrassed, “I don’t even know why I said that.”

“You guys seem to be hitting it off well. First the book store date, now this? You could’ve fooled me.”

“Uh,” his lips quirk, “First of all, that wasn't a date, I told you already. Second of all, what do you mean?”

Jun rolls his eyes so far back, "'Wasn't a date' _my ass_. All I'm saying is that you guys damn near look like a couple.”

Wonwoo immediately gets defensive at the sound of the ‘c’ word, “Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. I don’t—I mean, yeah, I don’t… ugh… _you know_.”

“Like him?” Jun raises a single brow, “uh, hold on, I don’t follow. It seems like—“

“Alright, _alright_ , keep your voice down,” he says in a hushed whisper, “it’s just like, a small thing. I’m not gonna do anything about it, though.”

It’s the closest Wonwoo’s going to get to admitting he has a crush on Kim Mingyu, and even the thought itself sends his heart soaring (his heart’s just been all over the place today). He’s not sure why, but he smiles, more to himself than Jun, because it’s been a while since he’s felt this way for anyone. Jun just scoffs, a knowing smile on his face as he shakes his head, with an attitude of ‘I told you so’ no doubt. 

Soon enough, Mingyu is hurrying back with that boyish smile on his face.

“Chicken strips and fries?”

And how could Wonwoo say no to that?

**

The rest of the night is fun. 

More than fun really.

Once they’ve eaten and waited about thirty minutes to let it all settle in (by Jeonghan’s demand), they finally head over to the rides and games. 

“So I’m guessing no rides for you?” Mingyu asks him, eyeing all the dusty, probably creaky fair contraptions. 

“Not for me, too scarred. I’ll watch you guys though,” he says, and he’s glad how conversation flows so easily now, he no longer sounds terribly awkward with Mingyu. 

“Nah, I’m actually gonna pass on the rides, too. Minghao usually forces me to go on them with him, but now that he’s got Jun…”

His words trail off at that, and when Wonwoo peeks at him, he doesn’t look as… well, sad as he had expected. Just sorta. Content. Okay. 

“Oh,” he replies lamely, still stuck on the way Mingyu looks when he talks about Minghao and Jun. 

“Yeah. We can do the games though! I can win you a teddy bear if you want,” he winks, pulling Wonwoo back to reality. He scoffs, but they proceed to hop from game to game. They play skee ball, ring toss, balloon dart throw, milk bottle, and much more—Mingyu wins most of the time and he does certainly tease Wonwoo about giving him his teddy bear but Wonwoo just shoves him aside. 

And he can’t believe how much fun he’s having. 

It was like the book store all over again, except better, because Mingyu doesn't have to leave early this time around. They laugh as the move from game to game, hundreds and hundreds of other noises and voices but Mingyu’s seems to be the only one that resonates within him. They carry their smiles all through the night, giggling maniacally (especially when they go through a room of different mirrors that distorts their bodies in different ways) as the sky swallows them whole. The sun has completely set by now, the flashy bold lights on full display and reflecting back in Mingyu’s starry eyes as they walk around the grounds, looking for a new attraction, or a prize that stands out. 

It’s after Wonwoo’s said a joke that wasn’t particularly funny, but has Mingyu bursting into laughter, that Mingyu says it, after he composes himself back into a state of calm that is.

“You’re a lot of fun to hang out with Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo hadn’t expected it, not at all. So effortlessly and blissful, he almost admires the way he says it without tripping over his words like he would’ve done. He connects eyes with Mingyu, relaxed and pleased and sparkly as per usual, sees the gentle lines of his honey-glowed profile dripping of serenity. The corners of Wonwoo’s mouth begin to tug upwards. 

Goddamn Mingyu and his ability to make him smile so easily. 

“Same goes for you,” he responds, and then they’re just standing there, gazing at each other, into each other, and Wonwoo feels like Mingyu has seen his entire _soul_ , standing in front of an old Whack-a-Mole machine.

“Hey you two!” They both jump at the sound of Seokmin’s voice, who runs up to them and swiftly wraps each arm around both their shoulders, “we’re all gonna go on the ferris wheel!”

Soonyoung soon enough comes rushing in to join Seokmin, literally jumping onto the three of them in laughter. 

“Ferris wheel time!” He yells, and Seokmin yells gibberish with him and Wonwoo and Mingyu look at each other, a mutual thought of “oh these boys” pass between them before they laugh as well. The four of them catch up to the rest of the gang waiting, all ready for the O Holy, much anticipated ferris wheel. 

“How was it?” Soonyoung asks him, “the games? And, uh, Mingyu?”

He says the latter part quieter, even though Mingyu is busy talking to Seokmin about how rigged some of the fair games are. It was an issue he cared deeply about, Wonwoo learned earlier that evening. 

“It’s been great. Really great,” Wonwoo answers truthfully, “I’m pleasantly surprised. I’m glad I came.”

“Really now?” Soonyoung looks at him, impressed, “I’m glad man! It looks like you guys were having fun. Even Jihoon was asking me if you guys came here, like, together.”

Wonwoo is about to deny any implication that Soonyoung is probably thinking, or even if he’s not thinking it, until he catches Mingyu laughing, and maybe it’s the lazy sweetness of the summer night that’s got to him, but something about his laugh is so intoxicating, and the way he looks when he does it, his smile large and toothy, and the sun isn’t shining anymore but _he is_ and Wonwoo knows what this is. His chest tightens. 

“Shit. Soonyoung.”

“Hmm?” he hums casually, prodding Wonwoo to go further. 

“I think I like Mingyu.”

Soonyoung gives him a tiny smile before patting his shoulder, adding a rub as well, his voice soft like the night, “I’m your best friend dude, _I know_.”

For a spilt second, things feel alright, because the confession somehow relieves himself of this huge weight he hadn’t known he was holding. And Wonwoo can live with this, _okay, I like Mingyu_. That doesn’t mean anything needs to happen, and he’s okay with that. The words that have been quietly gnawing at him, sitting restlessly in his bones have finally formulated into a sentence, with just three simple words. Now they’re out in the air, he’s said it. He’s not sure if it should feel this good, it’s never felt this good to admit having a crush (unrequited as well) but for whatever reason it does. _For just a split second_ , things feel alright. 

Until he looks up, the smile slowly fading from his face because Minghao’s stunned face comes into view, his eyes wider than Wonwoo’s ever seen them. 

“Wait, _what_ did you just say?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm soooo sorry this literally took forever!! i'm stoked to be putting this up though!!! i hope y'all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it
> 
> as always, please let me know what you think! i love hearing what you guys have to say, tell me your favorite (or not so favorite) parts! 
> 
> hopefully the next update won't come as long as this one did, so sorry for the wait again!


	11. stars and gold and magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo and Mingyu meet up.

The world feels utterly and completely still as Wonwoo stares back at Minghao, his heart rate picking up slowly at first, and then all too fast at once, a sensation akin to the feeling you get when you reach the drop of a rollercoaster. He’s sure his skin looks like marble and thank God no one can see how sweaty his hands are when they’re clenched like this. 

“You _what_?” Minghao repeats, this time taking a step closer towards him and Wonwoo can feel Soonyoung coming closer by his side. 

“Whoa, hey, Minghao, let’s not make this a huge scene, okay?” Soonyoung immediately says, voice quiet, his eyes darting from them to the boys up ahead. Wonwoo does the same and he sees why—Seungcheol is approaching them. 

“Yeah, c’mon, don’t pressure Wonwoo like that,” Jun’s clutching Minghao’s shoulder now, and despite what Soonyoung had said, Wonwoo’s sure this definitely looks like “a scene”. Minghao abruptly moves his shoulder away from Jun, his jaw closed now. Wonwoo can’t detect what the younger is feeling, _is he angry? Hurt? Sad?_ He’s never seen this expression on Minghao’s face. 

“Can we… can we just drop this?” Wonwoo eventually speaks, timid and uncomfortable at first, but then he releases a tight sigh and locks eyes with Minghao, “I know he’s your best friend and I don’t… I don’t know what this all means to you. But, rest assured, I don’t even plan on doing anything about it anyway. Really. It’s whatever.”

“Wait, wait, wait, _why_?” Minghao asks, and he takes another step closer, but before they can take this conversation any further, Seungcheol’s hand claps onto Minghao’s shoulder, startling him. 

“What’s up guys?” He asks, a bright smile on his face, though Wonwoo has gotten to know Seungcheol over the past few weeks and he knows the other can sense the tension. 

“Uh, nothing,” Jun quickly covers, “we were just trying to convince Wonwoo to go on the ferris wheel with us.”

Soonyoung catches on and follows, “You vomit _one time_ and suddenly you think you can’t go on rides for the rest of your life.”

Wonwoo peers up to look at Seungcheol, who’s trying to meet his eyes. He gives him a small smile and shrugs. 

“I was just concerned I was gonna throw up again,” he tells him, with a fake nonchalance. 

If Seungcheol truly isn’t convinced like Wonwoo thinks he isn’t, he surely doesn’t show it. He laughs, shaking his head, “It’s just a ferris wheel, you’ll be fine!”

Which pretty much settles that conversation. Seungcheol lightly pushes Minghao, who gives him one last glance, towards the direction of the attraction and everyone then follows, the rigid air still lingering above their heads. Jun mumbles a “I’m sorry about that whole thing, we’ll talk about this later” before joining Minghao, and Soonyoung just gives him a look before patting his back sincerely. 

“Let’s ride the ferris wheel together,” he says to him, and even if it’s out of pity because of this whole debacle, it still nevertheless fills Wonwoo with a sense of relief. He doesn’t feel so heavy, like drenched clothes are weighing his limbs down. But when they reach the rest of the group, Mingyu catches his eye and he turns away on instinct and his entire heart feels like it’s just cracked like an egg. 

“I’m gonna ride with Wonwoo,” Soonyoung tells Jihoon, reaching for his hand and swinging it, “sorry babe.”

Jihoon shrugs it off, “Nah, that’s fine. I’ll just be with Joshua then. Don’t get too scared at the top,” he says with a wink and chuckle, leaving the two be. Soonyoung looks to him and offers an easy smile, and that’s comforting enough. 

In a perfect world, Wonwoo would be on the ferris wheel with Mingyu, and it’d be like a cliche rom-com movie, the ones he’ll admit to enjoying every now and then. He probably wouldn’t say much, he imagines, just gaze at Mingyu (he’s quite ethereal to look at) as they reach the top of the ride and _God_ the sight would be incredible. Everyone would look so tiny from up there and all the noises would fade except for the two of them. Everything would look wonderfully lit up and Mingyu would probably have that smile on his face, the one Wonwoo adores so much. And the sea would be there too, like always.

Not that being at the top and telling jokes with Soonyoung is terrible. Soonyoung laughs so hard that he shakes their passenger pod and scares himself and Wonwoo has to calm him down while also holding back his laughter. They can hear Jihoon telling Soonyoung to “shut the fuck up, people are trying to enjoy the ride” and Vernon and Seungkwan in front of them record the scenario while laughing uncontrollably. He’s sure everyone on the ride that’s not the thirteen of them hate their guts by now, but it’s a fun time so he doesn’t care. Except when he peers over at Mingyu and Seokmin a couple pods ahead, he can see Mingyu grinning from ear to ear as he takes in the surroundings and it’s like every love song Wonwoo’s ever heard is faintly playing in the back of his head. And even though this isn’t a perfect world where he gets he wants, at the very least, he has this.

**

It’s been days.

Because similarly to how Wonwoo deals with all his other problems, he coops himself up in bed and avoids anyone and everyone. He’s even shut Soonyoung out, telling him to give him a few days to himself before social interaction. That doesn’t stop the other man from leaving him texts, voicemails, and various Snapchats. Wonwoo’s discovered through his most recent one that Soonyoung has dyed his hair a vibrant blonde. He thinks it looks quite nice on him. 

His mom had given him a call which was rather unexpected, though not terrible. She asked how he was doing, how the apartment is, how Soonyoung is (of course), and about his new friends. He answered with brief sentences, but assured her he’s fine. 

It’s on his sixth day of being a recluse when he’s scrolling through his Instagram feed and his thumb stops at a particular post from Minghao.

It’s a picture of two hands interlocked, the caption simply a heart emoji. Wonwoo can only assume it’s of himself and Jun (he recognizes the ring on Jun's pinky). 

His hand slowly drops to his bed, and he stares up at the wall in a strange daze. He’s sure if he hung out with the gang this past week he would’ve seen it coming, or actually read through the messages in the group chat. Not that he didn’t know it would eventually happen, he just hadn’t anticipated it being this… soon. He gives the photo another look (it’s a cute photo if he’s being terribly honest) and he’s happy for them, he truly is. But he quickly exits out the app and goes to the one person his mind can’t get rid of. 

Mingyu answers on the first ring.

“Hey!”

He sounds happy, excited almost. 

“Hi,” Wonwoo answers, slowly, biting his bottom lip because he hadn’t really planned on saying anything in specific and just the sound of Mingyu’s voice does _things_ to him. He can practically see the smile on the other man’s face right now.

Mingyu chuckles, “It’s nice to hear from you man. It’s been a while. What have you been up to?”

“Uh… nothing, honestly,” and he sorta laughs, “Yeah, nothing much. I just… how are you?”

“I’m good,” he replies, and there’s nothing wavering in his tone, “Are you good? You sound, I dunno, off?”

“Yeah, I’m—I…. uh… do you wanna meet up?”

**

Three in the afternoon is certainly not a typical time of the day to drink coffee, but that’s what Wonwoo and Mingyu stumble upon doing despite it’s unusualness. Everything about them is unusual anyway. Mingyu is swirling the straw around his iced drink while Wonwoo is avoiding any eye contact and instead opts on watching an old lady’s tiny dog bark at any and every passerby outside. 

“So… you decided to leave the cave,” Mingyu says after several beats of silence. Wonwoo looks at him then, and watches his lip curl slightly. His insides flutter. 

He clears his throat, “Yeah. Figured it was time.” It’s said with a shrug and he leans back on his chair and tries to look and sound as casual as possible even though his mind knows he’s not. But Mingyu doesn’t need to know that. 

“Have you seen Soonyoung’s hair?” Mingyu chortles, “I can’t believe he _actually_ pulls it off. But then again he had dyed his hair pink during his senior year of high school so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

Wonwoo smiles behind his coffee cup after taking a sip and nods his head, “Oh God I remember that. I told him so many times not to do it, but it really came out quite nice.”

They exchange laughs here and there, somehow talking about their mutual friendship with Soonyoung makes this easier, until Wonwoo realizes he’s just stalling. Mingyu is halfway with his drink, and at this rate he’ll never get to talk to him about what he came here for. 

“I sense your uneasiness,” Mingyu says, still with that ever present smile, “what’s up?”

Wonwoo scratches the back of his head, trying to think of the best way to start this conversation without potentially hurting the other’s feelings. 

“I think I know why you’re here Wonwoo,” Mingyu tells him, moving his drink between his hands, “so, yeah.”

Wonwoo falls apart, “I just—are you okay? I know I haven’t been very… with everyone lately but I just saw Minghao’s post and I just wanted to see how you were taking everything. Are you? Okay, that is?”

Mingyu’s smile widens, and then he giggles, “I didn’t know you would be this concerned.”

“Well, we’re friends, aren’t we?” Wonwoo asks, carefully, because he’s not actually entirely sure. But Mingyu nods and his heart continues to beat. 

“Yeah. Yeah, we are!” He taps his finger against the wooden table and takes his time before continuing, “to answer your question, I am.”

“You are?”

“I am,” he repeats, his voice steady, unhesitant, “Minghao is my best friend, and Jun’s just perfect for him. They’re happy together.”

That’s not what Wonwoo wants to know, he knows they’re happy together, anyone with eyes can see that, no, no, Wonwoo wants to know if _he’s_ happy. His brows furrow and he asks, “Yeah, but… what about you?”

It comes out quieter than he thought it would, but it drops so heavy and loud and it almost feels like too much for the both of them. It takes Mingyu some time, but he straightens up his spine and he sighs. 

“Truthfully I was quite sad for a period of time, it was when I realized they were getting closer. I was there for Minghao after his break up and I guess that’s when I started developing feelings. Which was… fucking weird for me since he’s been my best friend since we were like ten,” he swallows, shaking his head, “But anyway, Minghao always called me and told me he needed me every time something happened with Jun and I made him my priority above everything else. And it was so _painful_ talking to him, because he’s always been so in love with Jun and I had to just sit there and take that, listen to that. There were some days I just felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. But I don’t blame Minghao, he needed someone there for him and I wanted to be that person, I _had_ to be that person for him. I’m sure you’d do the same for Soonyoung. So, uh.. yeah, it was hard. But then I realized there was nothing I could do to stop what they have for each other, and _that_ was the hardest part.”

Mingyu looks like he’s struggling with a plethora of emotions rising to surface, Wonwoo can see it all on his face, but he continues, “I felt ridiculous, like _really_ fucking ridiculous, helping the guy I like get back together with his ex. Pathetic, really.”

“Mingyu—“

“No, no, save it. I—“ he breathes in, then out, “I’m not saying I’m completely over it, but I’m getting there. I’m glad they’re together, I can certainly say that. But the sadness will go away with time.”

And this, Wonwoo knows. Happiness doesn’t suddenly fall into one’s hands after a period of heart break. It grows. It grows slowly, it almost creeps up on a person, softly, barely noticeable until it’s just _there,_ existing with one side by side. It reminds Wonwoo of the flowers that grow underneath heaps of the cold snow, or the way the sun slowly meets the horizon until it’s just fully risen. He wishes to reach out, to be able to physically soothe the other but he just _can’t_.

“Long story short, I’m happy. You don’t have to worry about me,” Mingyu concludes, this time meeting his gaze. 

Wonwoo isn’t sure if a smile is appropriate but he marvels at Mingyu’s strength. 

“Well then. That’s good. I’m here for you, too. If you ever need to talk,” he tells him and his hand awkwardly rests on the table right next to the other’s. 

Mingyu looks at him rather fondly with bright eyes and rosy cheeks, then nods his head, “Thanks Wonwoo. I, uh, didn’t really anticipate getting drunk that night and telling you everything, but I guess… I’m glad I did.”

_I’m glad you did, too_ , he thinks, but leaves that unspoken between the two of them. Wonwoo downs the rest of his drink and let’s out a refreshing exhale because everything about this feels somewhat refreshing. 

“I’m also glad we’re friends now,” he says with an amiable smirk on his face, “took you about a month.”

“In my defense you were a bit of a dick,” Wonwoo says back, grinning wickedly and his fingers are tingling pleasantly. It’s a thought that’s surely crossed his own mind, how the tables have turned and how the universe works to turn in such a way to bring two people together. But then he remembers why he “hated him” and the roots in which it sprouted and young Mingyu flashes in his head again and his chest feels tight. 

He needs to tell him.

“I’m feeling spontaneous today!” Mingyu suddenly announces, sitting up in his seat, “let’s watch the stars tonight.”

Wonwoo feels his heart and soul about to leap out his body. Mingyu’s eyes are wide with an exhilaration that reminds Wonwoo of being fifteen again and he can’t resist that, he can never resist him. He forgets everything about his childhood, something of the distant past (even though his past is staring right at him with such easy grace and charm) as he thinks to himself “fuck it” before he shrugs and agrees. 

**

Eleven at night, Mingyu arrives as planned. Wonwoo can hear his truck pull up on his driveway (it’s rather loud especially in the quiet of the night) and he pets Mochi one last time before swinging a thin sweater over his shoulders and heading out the door. Mingyu honks in a manner Wonwoo would normally detest, but because it’s him he just laughs, shaking his head disapprovingly, yet approvingly. He doesn’t know how Mingyu does this to him. 

“Your chariot awaits you,” Mingyu booms through the rolled windows, and quickly gets out to open the passenger door. 

“You’re ridiculous and embarrassing,” Wonwoo snorts as he settles into his seat. Mingyu’s truck smells like him.

“Nothing I haven’t heard before Jeon Wonwoo,” is all he responds with, and his full name sounds strange in Mingyu’s mouth. Not a bad strange, a strange he very much welcomes. A strange that brims his entire body and soul with affection. 

There’s a bag of snacks to his feet, along with two water bottles and a bottle of wine. Wonwoo raises an eyebrow, turning from the bottle to Mingyu with raised eyebrows. The other man simply shrugs. 

“The world is our oyster,” Mingyu quotes, then tugs his seatbelt over himself before repeating the phrase one more time and backing out the parking lot. 

The ride isn’t that long, and Mingyu hums to every song he plays instead of conversing (which, Wonwoo doesn’t mind really). They arrive to the beach in seven minutes time, and as expected, they seem to be the only ones present. Mingyu reaches to the back seat and pulls out a beach blanket then runs out the car faster than Wonwoo can blink. 

“Bring the food!” He shouts at him, already halfway to the sand. 

Wonwoo scoffs, the tiniest smile still present, and grabs the food at his feet before shortly joining the other man laying the blanket down on the warm, coarse sand. He kicks his sandals off and plops down by Mingyu’s side, setting the bottle of wine between the two.

“It’s nicer at night, I think,” Mingyu says so light, so tender. Wonwoo agrees with a nod and the two fall into a silence that’s calm and quiet. They stare at the waves, they’re stronger at this time, listening to the soft crashes they make as they hit the shore. The moon reflects right on the dark, navy blue endless sea, giving the water the faintest glow. Wonwoo notes how the moon, much like the sun, lights up Mingyu’s face as well. He comes to the conclusion that if there’s light, Mingyu seems to reflect it. 

“Do you want some wine?” Mingyu asks, already cracking open the bottle and shoving it to Wonwoo’s side, “I didn’t bring any glasses but you can take a swig right from the bottle.”

“Thanks,” he smiles, taking a small sip from the bottle then screwing the cap back on. He leans back against his elbows, his eyes following the movement of the water. A strange warmth trickles down Wonwoo’s spine just hearing Mingyu rustling from where he’s sitting, trying to open a bag of potato chips and mumbling something about sand in his toes. He eventually gets the chips open, Wonwoo stares at him shoving two or three at a time as he gazes up at the stars of the sky. He looks pleased, his eyes scanning the summer night sky for the different constellations (he keeps throwing out different names, Orion, Cassiopeia, Ursa Major—Wonwoo’s almost positive he’s getting them all wrong but it’s quite endearing to listen to him) and he doesn’t even realize he’s been caught staring when Mingyu turns to him. 

“Chips?” He offers, tilting the bag towards Wonwoo, but he declines. His lips are curled into a smile and he lays down on the blanket. Mingyu sets the chips bag down and joins him on his back. 

“First of all, stupid, Orion isn’t visible this time of the year,” he snorts, “you’ll have to wait until fall to see it.”

“Oh… I knew that.”

Wonwoo scoffs, “Sure you did.”

“Okay, but that’s Ursa Major though,” Mingyu says, pointing up at the sky and Wonwoo’s eyes follow. 

“It is,” he says with a nod, but he can’t keep his eyes off of Mingyu for another second, so he twists his head slightly, not too noticeable, towards Mingyu’s direction. His eyes trace the soft lines of Mingyu’s profile drenched in blue glows (Wonwoo knows blue is often associated with the feeling of sadness, melancholy; but blue on Mingyu somehow makes Wonwoo feel so damn _happy_ , like there are fireworks erupting in his chest). He thinks the man might be made of the stars himself, which is what’s compelling him so much. The stars and gold and magic—all that’s divine and celestial. The stars should be staring at Mingyu. 

_God this must be how Soonyoung feels like_.

It’s the wine. He’s only had a tiny sip but he makes the executive decision to blame the wine anyway. 

“This is nice,” Mingyu says, and now he’s facing Wonwoo too and they really aren’t _that_ close,  but the distance feels like it to Wonwoo and he’s sure Mingyu can hear his heartbeat (they really aren’t that close for him to hear his heartbeat) and it feels like the whole vast sky is enveloping their small bodies. For a split second Wonwoo’s sure that he isn’t breathing. Mingyu smiles at him then props his elbow to rest his head on his hand. 

“What’s up with you?” He asks him, his eyes gleaming down at him. 

“What do you mean?” Wonwoo asks, deciding where to keep his focus because looking at Mingyu is different than looking at Mingyu looking at him.

“You’re just quiet is all,” he shrugs, a bit pouty, “is something up?”

Mingyu’s hand is dangerously close to Wonwoo’s own, he’s caressing the material of the blanket unbeknownst of the close proximity lighting Wonwoo’s skin on fire. Wonwoo wonders if Mingyu can feel that, too. 

“Nothing, I’m fine,” he tells him, closing his eyes, “this is… really nice.”

Wonwoo thinks he might fall asleep like this, and how dream-like that would be, and how the gaping space between their bodies may not be all that close but it’s close enough for him and just like the fair, everything feels right with him and they lay there basking in the quietness and loudness of the ocean and nothing more. 

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu speaks, gentle and cautious, “do you… do you think it’ll get easier?”

Wonwoo eyes fly open, and Mingyu hasn’t moved an inch since he’s closed them. He looks so tiny like this, Wonwoo’s not sure how that’s even possible, but it is. Mingyu’s giving him a smile, of course he is, but it’s tinged with a sadness that wrenches the older’s heart and it’s different from when they were sitting at the coffee shop and he couldn’t grab his hand because this time he can, so he does.

“Yeah,” he firmly tells him, and it’s the most sure he’s sounded in a while, which is a bit scary, “yeah, Mingyu. It will, I promise to you it will.”

“How do you know?” He asks, eyes still locked onto his and it’s then Wonwoo can see that he’s holding back tears. Wonwoo wants to rid every thought that makes Mingyu this sad, if only it were as easy as a delete button because he cares about this boy _so damn_ much and the very last thing he wants is to see him like this. Mingyu’s looking at Wonwoo like he’s got all the answers, and shit, Wonwoo isn’t even sure he does, but he takes a shaky breath, trying not to think too much of the way his throat feels thick or the air feels tense. 

“I… I was cheated on my junior year of college. And it sucked. It fucking sucked. I just remember laying in bed for hours, skipping classes, skipping meals. I didn’t wanna do anything. I couldn’t imagine myself being happy. It just seemed impossible. I kept thinking the universe hated me, kept asking myself if I deserved this. I was just… so, so _miserable_ ,” Wonwoo shifts his gaze from Mingyu to the sky, his focus now on the stars, “I don’t think I’ve ever dealt with a greater pain. But… oddly enough, I can’t even remember what it’s like to be that hurt anymore. It’s just… gone. Eventually you heal. That pain is replaced by something so much greater and-and I dunno, you go on living and it becomes a lesson. And it might not be a smooth process, and that’s okay. Some days were harder than others for me. But you get through it and you realize that this is what happiness feels like and you continue living life and everything’s… good. Sometimes it’s more than good, sometimes it’s like this, it’s like laying on the beach at midnight with another person or it’s going to a bookstore and you’re really really happy to be living life and you just,” he lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, “forget about that pain.”

The waves seem to still. While normally Wonwoo feels a bit saddened remembering that bit of his life, upon finishing his sentiment he feels rather… free. Like there was a knot inside of him he hadn’t known been tied up for so long and now it’s finally loose and he can breathe. Sure, he’s been over the incident for over a year now, but he hadn’t realized harboring these thoughts to himself had built up this pressure within his body. He looks to his hand clasped with Mingyu’s own, and then meet’s the pair of sorrow eyes looking down on him.

“I’m sorry that happened,” is the first thing Mingyu says, and his thumb caresses Wonwoo’s hand gently (Wonwoo hadn’t expected that and he freezes for a bit at the sheer intimacy). 

“No, don’t be,” he shakes his head, “I’m really over it. Like I said, it was a lesson. And… I hope it helps? You asked if it gets easier and I know for a fact it does because… well, I’m living proof.”

Mingyu laughs at that, his voice raspy, and Wonwoo laughs as well. 

“Thank you,” he says, honest and pure, “really, thank you Wonwoo.” 

The words sizzle into Wonwoo’s core. Mingyu’s eyes are warm again, the way Wonwoo likes because they’re absolutely mesmerizing, and he pulls his hand away to reach back into the chips bag and the loss of contact pings Wonwoo’s heart.

He thinks back to how Mingyu is like the stars and gold and magic and it’s true; his soul is made of thousands of stars, of constellations Wonwoo’s never seen, stars no one’s ever explored, and his heart is that of gold, dripping in it’s richness that no one should ever dare taint, and his entire existence is magic, every word he says and every action he makes casts a spell on Wonwoo even if he doesn’t know it. 

Wonwoo breathes out, breathes everything out, and smiles one of those smiles that’s barely there before sitting back up. 

“Thank you too Mingyu,” he whispers, loud enough for Mingyu to hear yet soft for the breeze to carry through the night.

Wonwoo wishes he could stay here forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY AGAIN FOR THE LONG WAIT!!! the holidays just got super busy for me and tbh... i hit writer's block lol 
> 
> anyway, i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! it's kinda heavy... ha... ha. 
> 
> please let me know your thoughts!! thank you guys for supporting this as you do and putting up with overdue updates! much love!!


	12. the party pt. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys throw a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanna preface this warning everyone that this chapter does include alcoholic drinking (heavier than the previous ones)

It’s very early in the morning when Jeonghan calls Wonwoo asking—no, _demanding_ that he come get his “lazy butt” to a place called The Patio for breakfast with the rest of the guys. Before he even gets the chance to close his eyes and potentially fall back asleep (it’s only 7:23am for cryin’ out loud), Soonyoug texts him asking if Jeonghan rang him as well. It appears as though the older is rounding everyone up for a family breakfast. He’s glad to see he’s not the only one attached to their bed—Jihoon sends “I hate you Jeonghan” in the group chat, followed by a dozen and one crying emojis from Seungkwan. 

He wants to sleep in, he really does. Because not only did he get in rather late last night (near 1AM), he’s sure he didn’t actually fall asleep until closer to 3AM. He tries not to think too much about their conversation, about the stars in Mingyu’s eyes and the words that were said, spilled over like confessions in black ink.

Nope, nope it’s too early for that. 

He twists and turns over and over on his bed, as if it that would help deter the events from last night from playing over and over again in his head. Except it doesn’t help, so Wonwoo gets up and decides to get his lazy butt to The Patio for breakfast. 

As he languidly brushes his teeth, and since his brain seems to fail him in shoving away Mingyu from his thoughts, he recounts how after “The Talk” last night, they were able to talk about silly, less serious matters, like how Mingyu can actually eat 3 burgers in one sitting, or how Wonwoo once stayed up until 6am playing video games. He chuckles, mouth full of toothpaste, remembering the look on Mingyu’s face when he had told him that. 

_‘6am?? 6am? 6am. You stayed up until 6am.’_

_‘Yes Mingyu, 6am.’_

_‘How do—how is that even possible?’_

_‘Listen… when you’re that set on defeating the final boss, time doesn’t matter.’_

_‘Oh God, you’re not gonna tell me time is a social construct now, are you?’_

_‘Time is a social construct.’_

_‘Get out, get out now. You’re walking home.’_

He spits the paste out his mouth with a dopey smile on his face and goes to find something to wear.

Last night had been the first night in a while Wonwoo can recall being genuinely sad to head home. He had realized this as Mingyu pulled up into the driveway of his apartment complex, the way his stomach felt unsettled and his heart pinged when Mingyu was saying “see ya later”. Because, so what, he never wanted the night to come to an end, and maybe he did want to invite Mingyu inside but that was too bold of a statement to make, it was already a bold statement enough of him to even _think_. So he suppressed the thought, instead telling the other goodnight, almost breathless because it took every breathe in him to not tell him to _stay, stay, stay_. 

Mingyu’s goodbye echoes in his ear, and that itself sets Wonwoo in a perpetually dreamy state where nothing else in the world matters and it’s just Mingyu and… isn’t it crazy how he has the power to both make his heart hammer in his chest until it feels like it’s about to implode, but also make his heart feel so calm, at peace and serene—equivalent to the feeling one gets when sun bathing on a nice summer afternoon. Wonwoo thinks that’s pretty crazy.

He looks through his closet and picks out the simple white tee, black jeans look (he knows it looks good, why bother trying on anything else) and proceeds to make himself look somewhat presentable on this fine July morning. 

**

The Patio is absolutely packed when Wonwoo pulls in by 8:15am. He’s got Soonyoung on speaker and he can hear him shouting his exact thoughts. 

“It’s _8am_ , why are all these people even _up_ this early?” He groans, “The lot is packed on this side, how’s it looking on your end?”

Wonwoo makes a turn to the next row of spots, “Still looking.”

Soonyoung groans again, this time louder and more dramatic, and then, “Oh! I got a spot, this family of five is piling into their mom van.”

Now it’s Wonwoo’s turn to groan. He’s circled this damn lot about five times now and still nothing. 

“I’ll see you inside then Wonwoo, good luck!” Soonyoung says through the phone, then hangs up promptly. Wonwoo sighs, taking another turn to the next aisle. 

And just by luck, just because the world is deliberately working in ways to get at Wonwoo, he sees Mingyu jumping out his truck. He doesn’t anticipate his insides to pool, but they do, and he’s pretty much expected that his whole body, heart, and soul will always act unexpectedly around Mingyu. 

Minghao is getting out of the passenger seat as well, and it’s the first time he’s seeing him (well, the first time he’s seeing anyone really) in a week. His hair has grown out, long enough so his bangs nearly cover his eyes and the tips reach his shoulders. And then Wonwoo realizes he’s waving at him. 

“Shit,” he mutters to himself, rolling his window down and slowly driving up to the duo. He refuses to make eye contact with Mingyu, not yet, because there’s a definitive rush of blood to his head and he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

“Hey, stranger,” Minghao says, friendly and calm, “haven’t seen you in a while.”

And Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say to that, just chuckles. Nothing about the atmosphere feels tense like he had thought it would be, in fact it seems… light, easy. When he peers over at Mingyu he sees the other flashing him his signature grin, the one that could make birds sing, and Wonwoo feels like he’s about to crumble into pieces. He bites his tongue, looking back at Minghao instead. 

“I feel like I’ve been looking for a parking spot for hours,” Wonwoo says, keeping his eyes alert for any leaving cars, “how did you you guys manage to find one?”

Minghao snickers, “Mingyu always manages to find a spot within seconds.”

“Of course he does,” Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

“Hey! What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” He says, defensive and joking, “it’s not my fault I have better luck than others.”

“You’re so full of yourself,” Minghao comments, adjusting his newest clutch bag in between his arm and his chest, “I’m gonna head in then.”

“Okay, I’ll—” Wonwoo sees a spot open up down the row and immediately takes his foot off the brake without another word to snatch it before anyone else beats him to it. He’s waited too long for this and if he loses to another suburban mom in a SUV, he _will_ combust.

Once securing his spot at an alarming speed and locking his car, he rounds the corner to see Mingyu standing there, waiting for him with an amused look on his face. 

“You just took off,” he says. 

“I had no time to waste,” Wonwoo replies, fixing his hair, hyperaware that he did little to nothing to style it this morning. 

“I thought time was a social construct, or something like that,” Mingyu teases. Wonwoo drops his hand from his hair and glares at the other but also sorta wants to laugh that he’s used his own words against him.

“I hate you sometimes, you know that?” He responds with instead, shaking his head. 

“Oh that can’t actually be true Jeon Wonwoo,” he muses, and Wonwoo doesn’t know why he feels things when Mingyu says his full name like that, it’s just a name after all, and maybe it’ll always be a mystery of the universe but he doesn’t seem to mind. He smiles. 

“I didn’t sleep much last night,” Mingyu says eventually, then yawns to add to his point, “how about you?”

Wonwoo clears his throat, “N-no, not really.”

“I kept feeling sand on me!”

Oh.

Right.

Of course Mingyu has a different reason for his lack of sleep, of course it wasn’t because he too kept thinking about their time together, of course he wasn’t overanalyzing every little thing that happened until 3am. Of course. _Of course_. 

Wonwoo stays quiet, watching his feet kick a pebble around until they reach the entrance of the restaurant. 

“Wonwoo!” Soonyoung shouts the second he sees his best friend, rushing up to him to embrace him in a hug. Wonwoo allows it, because it has been a week of him in the shadows; though he nearly wheezes at how tight his friends squeezes him. He pats Soonyoung’s now blonde hair, complimenting him on the new look now that he’s seen it in person. 

“Okay, everyone’s here!” Jeonghan clasps his hands together now that everyone’s gathered, “come on, let’s go in.”

It always amazes Wonwoo how many connections the boys seem to have in this small, rural town because Soonyoung explains to him how Jeonghan knows a guy who knows the guy who runs the restaurant, which essentially allowed them to cut everyone impatiently waiting in line.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Vernon nudges Wonwoo with his elbow, “we missed you.”

Seungkwan chides in, “Yeah, don’t ever leave us like that ever again!”

Wonwoo wants to make a comment, that he will potentially be leaving at the end of the summer (he still isn’t quite sure what he wants to do yet) but decides to save that discussion for another time. Seungkwan begins to catch up on what he’s missed (“nothing much really,” Vernon mutters to him) over the course of seven days, and it’s all mundane things, up until he briefly mentions how Jun and Minghao are finally officially back together.

“…but we all saw that coming,” he finishes with a wave of his hand, “it’s nice to see them together again.”

Vernon nods his head in agreement, and that’s as far as he responds to the matter.

“Yeah, I’m happy for them,” Wonwoo says, honest and true because… well, it’s Jun and Minghao. He knows he hasn’t been here long but it didn’t take much for him to decipher that they’re meant to be together. And yeah, they all had seen it coming. 

“Are you now?” Jun’s voice startles him, he hadn’t known his friend was merely a couple feet away from him. He throws his arm around Wonwoo’s shoulder and inches him closer to his body. 

“I know I’ve only known you for a month or so now, but going a week without your dry humor and lame jokes was _killing_ me,” Jun admits to him, “it’s good to see you back!”

“It’s… nice to be back,” Wonwoo thinks aloud, quietly smiling to himself, “and you and Minghao…?”

“Yeah,” Jun casually shrugs, “it was time.”

“Yeah it was,” Wonwoo agrees without hesitation, and Jun lightly hits his arm, “oh _come on_ , you know it. 

Joshua chortles next to them, obviously on Wonwoo’s side.

“Well, like I said, I’m happy for you,” he reiterates to Jun this time, and the other simply smiles, a bit bashful which is very unlike him. But if there’s anything Wonwoo’s learned about feelings is that it makes you act in a funny way.

His eyes find Mingyu, catches the easy and blissful look on the younger’s face as he talks to Seungcheol and Jeonghan. He’ll never get tired of watching how animated he is when he speaks, how full of energy and life he is, at 8 in the morning no less. It brings Wonwoo joy, seeing him so happy, he’s not sure how or why that is but it just is.

“Uh, Wonwoo,” Jun breaks him from his trance, “are you even listening to me?”

“I am,” he lies, and then looks at Jun, “sorry, no, I’m not.”

Jun shakes his head, chuckling, “You’ve got it bad dude.”

“As if you don’t,” he retorts, knowing he’s right. 

They’re all taking their seats around a circular table. Jun leaves Wonwoo as he gravitates towards Minghao, and Wonwoo shuffles around choosing a seat because he wants to sit next to Mingyu, but he overthinks asking him, approaching him, _being within a mere couple feet of him_. 

Life’s tough.

Luckily for him, he doesn’t have to do anything, because Mingyu waves him over to the empty seat right by his side. His heart nearly leaps out his chest. 

“I feel for you man, both our best friends have been snatched up,” he says to him with a lighthearted chuckle. Except, if Wonwoo were being completely honest, Soonyoung hadn’t even crossed his thoughts, not like Mingyu thinks. But he clears his throat, nods along, because what else can he say?

**

Wonwoo takes another bite of his chocolate chip pancake, trying to keep it all in his mouth as Mingyu over exaggeratedly tells the story of the time a dog chased him down the block. Which pretty much sums up the entirety of the breakfast—Wonwoo listening as Mingyu recounts on moments of his life that are mostly amusing, sometimes pitiful (for example, the time Mingyu was out of groceries and all he had was wheat bread and half a banana). 

“What a man,” Seokmin says once Mingyu finishes up the dog chase story. 

Mingyu smiles impishly, looking directly at Wonwoo though, and it nearly makes the older drench his pancake in maple syrup. He finds that his tongue seems to loosen talking to Mingyu now, able to throw sarcastic, witty comments in the midst of the younger’s storytelling, or talk about memories of his own. It’s… nice. 

“All we do is go out and eat,” Seungkwan whines, grabbing everyone’s attention. 

“What’s wrong with that?” Vernon says, offended, as he cuts up his omelet into pieces.

He continues, “Well like… it’s _summer_ ,” but before he can finish that sentiment, Minghao jumps in.

“I’ve been saying this for days! Can we like, I dunno, throw a party or something?” He says, his hands held together in a plea, “we can use Jun’s place!”

“Whoa,” both Jun and Mingyu say simultaneously at the idea of their place casually being offered for party festivities.

“Come on guys, you know your place is most ideal since it’s right on the beach,” Minghao says to the both of them. Neither Jun or Mingyu can resist him, not when his mind is already set.

Seungcheol chuckles, “Alright, we can do that. I just thought we were done with beach parties after last year.”

Wonwoo watches as everyone shudders at the thought of last year, so he can’t help but turn to Mingyu and ask exactly what happened last year.

“It was a shit show,” Jihoon answers with a roll of his eyes, before Mingyu can even respond, “I didn’t want to touch alcohol for months after last summer.”

Mingyu leans in closer to Wonwoo so only he can hear him whisper, “We found Jihoon and Soonyoung passed out on the beach the morning after the party, if that gives you any idea of what kind of night it was.”

This was something Soonyoung certainly omitted. Wonwoo turns to look at his friend, avoiding eye contact and feigning innocence, but he can see his cheeks and ears tinted a nice rose-y color. He snorts, shaking his head. 

“What did you do?” He asks Mingyu. 

“What do you mean?”

“Seemed like a pretty rowdy night, did you wake up half naked in the kitchen or something?”

Mingyu gives a small smirk, scoffing, “Who do you think was the one taking care of all of them?”

Wonwoo’s mouth forms into an O, feeling quite dumb. 

“I was working late that night and came home to a bunch of drunks all over the place,” he explains, laughing airily, “so I missed out on all the fun.”

“ _Well_ ,” Seungkwan interjects, “you don’t have to miss out on it this time! Can we please have another? I can bring karaoke!”

Seokmin and Soonyoung second that within a split second. The rest of the table, however, inwardly groans. 

Vernon licks his sticky fingers clean of the jam from his toast, “Okay, so when are we doing this?”

“Tonight?” Minghao responds, a hopeful glint in his eyes, as he beats on Jun’s thigh excitedly, “please, please, please.”

Wonwoo sits backs and watches as the entire group deliberates on the matter, weighing the pros and cons (some— _Jihoon_ —thinking more of the cons than others), the chatter growing and growing as everyone starts talking above one another and… yeah, Wonwoo missed this. He didn’t think he would, not one bit, he was never one for large crowds—but something about this group specifically brings a warm, yet refreshing tingle in his chest. It feels like home.

Minghao and Jeonghan are already listing off the drinks they need to buy (“you don’t party with red wine, Hao.”), and Seungcheol is going over the guest list with Jun, because if the party is going to be at Jun’s place, he must approve of who will be there. To Wonwoo’s side, Mingyu is shaking his head both in disbelief and amusement, because _this is actually happening_.

“I’m not much of a party person,” Wonwoo says to him, honest and blunt, not even sure why he mentions it in the first place.

Mingyu quirks an eyebrow, feigning surprise, “Really now? You look like someone who goes absolutely wild at parties, if you ask me.”

“Shut up.”

And there he goes with his laugh again; it could make flowers grow. 

“Does that mean you’re not coming then?” 

Wonwoo isn’t sure if that’s the tiniest hint of gloom detected in Mingyu’s tone, or the smallest pout on his lips, _or_ if it’s just his brain playing tricks on him. Probably his brain playing tricks on him. 

“I mean… I’ll go I guess,” he mutters, quietly. Mingyu blinks, and then he’s smiling with all the light of a million suns (scientifically, that doesn’t make any sense, but whatever) down at him. Wonwoo struggles trying to keep a composed face, he hopes it doesn’t appear that way as he stares at the taller. His eyes flicker and he catches Minghao looking at them, and his insides sorta do a weird thing where they feel tangled up and his limbs suddenly feel abnormally heavy. Wonwoo coughs, now gazing at his half eaten food. 

“Alright then, Cheol and I will make a grocery store run to get all the food and booze,” Jeonghan says, loud enough for everyone to hear and cutting every other side conversation, “let us know if you have any preferences, but I think we’re just sticking with the regular stuff.”

“Wait… can you pick me up some chocolate covered pretzels?” Chan asks, and all the guys jokingly give him shit for it—“Might as well, they’ll already be there!” he counters. Wonwoo keeps his smile to himself, a little bit excited for the night (which… _that’s new_ ), but mostly nervous and a little bit queasy. He looks over at Soonyoung, who by some sort of magic best friend tingly senses, looks up at him on the same beat as well.

He gives him an assuring smile. 

That alone eases all of Wonwoo’s nerves. 

**

The party ends up being a lot more… party-like than Wonwoo had envisioned. Which technically should not have caught him off guard in the least, given the way they were talking about it during breakfast, nor the stories of previous parties they’ve thrown. They just seem to know _so many people_. 

Wonwoo is greeted by an influx of strangers when he enters the apartment, and he notices the party stretches from indoors out to the backyard patio area. So finding his friends will be no easy task. 

He looks for Jun first, just to let him know he’s here. He had texted the man a couple minutes before leaving his apartment but received no response, probably too caught up with his hosting duties. A tidal wave of bodies becomes his obstacle as he searches inside—he hears Seungkwan and Seokmin on the karaoke machine before he spots them, but none of the other boys seem to be with them, just strangers shouting over every high note they hit so effortlessly. 

“Wonwoo! Wonwoo!” Seokmin stops in the middle of the song to call the raven-haired boy, “Jun is in the… the kitchen! Kitchen!” 

He must be drunk by now, and Seungkwan’s inability to stand is a dead give away he is as well. Wonwoo knew he was an hour late, but he surely underestimated everyone’s ability to get absolutely wasted within that time he was getting ready. Nevertheless, he throws Seokmin a thumbs up and makes for the kitchen, the reek of alcohol only getting stronger and stronger the closer he gets to the source. 

Apparently, Jun is playing bartender, handing out red cups or shot glasses to any and everyone surrounding him, and it takes several minutes for Wonwoo to finally make his way to the front of the horde.

“Hey,” he says, waving his hand in front of his friend, because he has yet to notice him, “Jun.”

“Wonwoo! Oh shit, you’re here!” He raises his arms up into the sky (or, well, ceiling), which probably isn’t the best idea given the handle of rum on his left and bottle of Coca-Cola in the other, “you made it!”

So Jun’s drunk too. Who made this man bartender?

“You’re _late_ ,” he slurs, setting both drinks down on the table, letting the masses pour their own cups, “come, come.”

Jun circles around the table, flinging his arm around Wonwoo’s shoulders after giving them a squeeze, as he always does. His body feels warm flush against his own. 

“You look nice by the way,” he tells him, then he winks, “is it for a certain someone?”

In all honesty, he had taken up a significant amount of time making sure he looked good; it’s been a while since he’s been to a party, and even in college they weren’t really his forte. Soonyoung recommended his ripped black jeans, which he had to scavenge through his suitcase (because he hasn’t unpacked entirely even though it’s been a month since he’s been here) until he found his trusted pair at the bottom of the stack. Jihoon suggested he wear any red top he has, something about red looking good on him, so he settled for a red graphic t-shirt and cuffed the short sleeves. The finishing touch was styling his hair up, which is only done on special occasions really so consider every party goer tonight blessed. Oh, and specs. 

“It’s a look!” Soonyoung had said on the FaceTime call. 

So when Jun compliments his looks, it boosts his ego _just a tiny bit_. He would never admit aloud to looking nice for anyone in particular though, because what’s wrong with looking nice for yourself? 

Though he had definitely done all this for a certain someone.

“Nah,” he lies through his teeth, and Jun knows. 

The party is bursting with high energy, swirling bodies moving to the rhythm of the upbeat music and red cups sloshing of alcoholic content. It’s loud and packed and sweaty, all things Wonwoo is not a huge fan of, so when Jun hands him a cup of some sort of mixed concoction, he downs it immediately. 

“Where are the rest of the guys?” He asks, setting the cup down with a distaste in his mouth. Whatever that was burned his throat unpleasantly, and he chokes up. 

“Scattered.”

“Minghao?”

Jun’s eyes, glittering under the neon lights, widen, “Minghao! SHIT. _Where…where is that guy_?”

He snaps his head left and right trying to find his boyfriend, and he almost looks like he’s about to tear up when he can’t see him in sight. 

“Jun,” Wonwoo shakes his shoulder, attempting to grab the poor drunk boy’s attention, “Jun. _Jun._ ”

“What what what,” he finally looks at him, eyes glossy and lips parted.

“I’m sure he’s fine, he might just be with one of the guys,” he tells him, not even sure if the other can hear him over the thumping volume of whatever Drake song is playing, “let’s go look for him, yeah?”

“W-wa-wait, come on, let’s just take one more shot before we go,” he says, pulling out two shot glasses out of God knows where, filling them to the rim with an almost empty bottle of vodka. 

“I don’t know if that’s a—” Before he can finish, Jun is already taking his shot, holding out the other for Wonwoo. So he goes for it. 

And if he thought the previous drink burned, this one was _much_ , _much worse_. He nearly shivers at the taste of it. 

“Okay, let’s go!” 

**

It’s about ten minutes and two shots later when they find Minghao on the patio outside, a large circle surrounding him (Wonwoo can see Soonyoung, Chan, and Vernon among the crowd) as he dances freely to an EDM track. It’s not quick and sharp like Wonwoo knows he can dance, most likely due to the alcohol, but it’s still quite the sight to watch. 

It’s much easier to breathe out here, still a lot of bodies, but the fresh air is nice. The area is lit up with twinkling fairy lights, a stark contrast to the bright, flashy lights inside. It nearly looks like a picture out of a home and garden magazine, minus all the college-aged drunks floating about. And it smells much like the ocean breeze than it does of hard liquor. Though Wonwoo notes that there’s a table lined up with drinks out here as well; Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and Jihoon seem to be manning that station together. They don’t look quite as gone as the rest of the boys he’s seen tonight, they might even be more sober than him. 

“There he is!” Jun shouts nearly in his ear (Wonwo winces), dragging him so they become one with the crowd. He goes with flow of it, not really knowing what he’d be doing otherwise. Plus, Jun is clutching onto his arm with a death grip. 

Wonwoo doesn’t see Mingyu anywhere in sight, his eyes searching and searching but nowhere is the tall, bronzed boy. His mouth scrunched to the side. He wouldn’t not show up, right?

“He’s here,” Jun tells him after catching Wonwoo’s wandering gaze going on far too long, his breath pungent with the smell of vodka. 

It’s meant to reassure him, calm his beating heart, but it only picks up in pace knowing he’s somewhere in the vicinity. He takes the cup in Jun’s hand (snagged along the way to the backyard) and finishes it in one go. The drink goes down much smoother than the previous ones. His friend merely breaks into a booming laugh, then tugs him closer to the front to watch the performance. 

Everyone is chanting Minghao’s name, cheering and hollering with every move he makes. Jun silently watches in admiration, an apparent look of adoration on his face seeing his boyfriend grabbing the center of attention. Wonwoo feels the buzz start to kick in then, he knows because he doesn’t seem to mind the people pressing up against him, or the puff of smoke that’s blown in his direction. The song soon comes to an end and Jun is calling Minghao’s name like a broken record. 

“Hao! Hao!” Jun waves him over, resembling an excited pup. 

Wonwoo and Minghao make eye contact, the younger brushing a hand over his sweaty forehead and long brown locks. He stumbles over towards them, and now Wonwoo can confirm he is indeed intoxicated, but so is he, so when Minghao grabs him by the shoulders and pushes him away from the people and the music, his mind goes blank. 

“Wonwoo,” he says almost in a whisper, his head hanging low. 

Jun worriedly rushes towards them, concern clouding his eyes, “Minghao? Are you—?”

“Leave us,” Minghao tells him, swatting his hand in Jun’s direction, “let me talk to Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo, with his back pressed against the wooden fence isn’t sure what to think, what this is about, all he knows is that Mingyu is nowhere in sight still. Which isn’t fair. He looks far too good for it all to go to waste. 

“What’s going on?” Wonwoo eventually asks, his brain fuzzy but also wanting more to drink. Probably isn’t a good idea, he knows he’s a lightweight, especially on top of missing out on dinner. 

“Wonwoo,” Minghao turns to him again, now that Jun has left the two be (he’s not sure when that happened, how Minghao even managed to convince Jun), this time meeting his hooded eyes with Wonwoo’s own. 

“You like Mingyu,” he states like a matter-of-fact, and it kinda is, Wonwoo has accepted that. But he swiftly and quickly puts his hand over Minghao’s mouth. 

“You don’t have to go around _yelling_ it like that,” he hushes the other. The alcohol is definitely getting to him, because Minghao hadn’t actually yelled it. But still. He can see Minghao’s eyes smiling at him, and then he soon starts giggling boyishly with his shoulders hunched over. Wonwoo removes his hand. 

“What. Why are you laughing. Stop it.”

“I’m… I’m sorry dude,” he gets out in between laughs, “it’s just funny.”

“And why’s that?” He’s folding his arms across his chest, ignoring all the ruckus going on in front of him (Seungcheol and Jihoon are shotgunning beers, whoever loses has to take a shot).

Minghao shrugs, “I dunno. You have a crush on my best friend.”

Wonwoo thinks "having a crush" might undermine the intensity of feelings he has, but he makes no comment of it.

“Is there something wrong with that?”

His nose scrunches, then his brows furrow, like he’s thinking really hard about it. Soon enough, he’s shaking his head, and there’s a crooked smile on his face that’s almost smug, satisfied. Wonwoo unclenches his jaw. But then the smile is gone, like the flip of a switch, and he’s pointing his finger in his direction. Wonwoo puts as much space between them as he physically can. 

“Don’t hurt him,” he warns him, his finger comes down slowly as a sigh escapes his pink lips, “I’ve… I’ve already done my share of that. I know that. I know.”

Through his haze of alcohol, Wonwoo tries to think of a coherent response. But naturally, he becomes a stuttering mess.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Minghao smiles, small and tender, “I’m sorry for getting all up in your face that day at the park I just… got worried? I dunno, everyone likes Mingyu, you know?”

Wonwoo knows. His stomach flips thinking about it. 

“Sometimes it’s hard sorting out the people that like Mingyu for who he is.”

The statement takes all the air from inside Wonwoo’s lungs, because even though he may not be 100% sober, he can still deduce how sad that must be. He can’t stop the way his heart aches at that. Minghao’s voice is strangled as he tries to find the words, eventually looking straight into Wonwoo’s dark, bleary eyes without any sense of hesitation. 

“I hurt Mingyu, and it’s hard to even forgive myself for that. So if you do, just know, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you.”

All he can is dumbly nod. God knows he would never intentionally hurt Mingyu, but he knows why Minghao says it. He had once said the same to Jihoon about Soonyoung. 

“You’ll have to give him time though,” Minghao advises him, now perched against the fence with him, “I think he’s still trying to… uh, get over… me. So…”

“I said I wasn’t going to do anything about it,” Wonwoo finally speaks, the distress getting to his head and suddenly he’s not feeling okay. 

“And why the hell not?” Minghao questions, sounding both upset and disappointed, “he deserves happiness.”

“Because, Minghao,” his voice thick, “I don’t… I don’t even know if he feels that way, and even if he does…”

Wonwoo can’t finish that statement, he doesn’t want to, so he concludes, “I need more to drink.”

He leaves. Leaves before he allows himself to think too much about this. This is not what he came here for. Thus, he makes it a mission to get in another shot and ignore every single emotion he’s feeling because _god damn you Minghao for bringing feelings into a party_ ; so he treads through the drunken mob to get to where Jeonghan and Jihoon are pouring drinks for everyone. 

The party whirls around him, everyone having a splendid time (is that Soonyoung they’re hoisting up in the air?) and Wonwoo is torn between wanting to just have fun, or if he should call it a night and go home. 

_No_ he thinks, that would be a waste of the night, he’s already made it this far (how many shots in now?) so he is determined to find the alcohol and say fuck it. 

But instead of finding another cup to drown his sorrows in, he finds Kim Mingyu. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BACCCCKKK!!!! again, i am incredibly sorry for the prolonged update, esp this one being longer than most. 
> 
> this is kinda the Calm Before the Storm of the next chapter hehe so strap on tight y'all
> 
> let me know your thoughts/opinions/comments!! i also forgot to mention to everyone i have a twitter lol come talk to me @ults17 !! i love seeing tweets about sea of sand, they make me so happy!!


	13. the party pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo gets tipsy.

Mingyu is quietly sipping from a red cup, gaze fixated on the dancing mass. It’s not where Wonwoo expected to find him; Mingyu seems like he’d be the life of the party, a social butterfly, bouncing between groups of people with ease. But here… he looks like a wallflower. 

“Hey,” Wonwoo approaches him, nerves all over the place and buzzing from the one too many shots he’s had. Mingyu, on the other hand, looks quite composed, though his eyes are hazy and his cheeks are tinted pink. It’s quite adorable. 

“Hey!” He lowers his cup from his face, and Wonwoo can see his lips upturning into a smile, small, almost barely there, but just for him. His stomach feels queasy, a mix of both the alcohol and the fact that Mingyu’s smile is intoxicating all on it’s own. 

“When did you get here?” He then asks, having to talk over the music and the gang of people chanting Soonyoung’s name (that’s definitely him they’re hoisting up in the air, Wonwoo realizes). 

“Ummm, about thirty minutes ago? What about you?”

Mingyu looks at him, his smile growing wider until he can’t contain his giggles.

It takes Wonwoo a minute, and then he feels like crawling into a hole.

“That was—I mean, right… that was stupid… you live here, duh,” he mentally slaps himself in the face, wondering if it’s not too late for him to leave the party. 

“It’s fine Wonwoo,” he says, and his voice rumbles quietly, softly and this is different than the last time he witnessed Mingyu drinking. Everything he does and says feels like it’s been specifically crafted for Wonwoo’s own eyes and ears. 

“Are you having fun?” He asks him, taking one last gulp from his cup before tossing it in the trash next to him. 

“I am. I am,” he’s not sure why he repeated that, “I’m not sure why I repeated that.”

“You’re tipsy, aren’t you?” Mingyu raises his eyebrow teasingly, giggling again, “how much did you drink?”

“I… can’t remember. Not much. I’m fine. I’m fine.”

“Do you always repeat your words when you’re tipsy?” His eyes narrow in amusement, and Wonwoo swears he sees him take a step closer. Maybe it’s just to hear him better.

“Why are you standing here all by yourself?” Wonwoo asks him. 

“Is there anything wrong with that? You were by yourself when you approached me, too.”

“Well. Yeah. I was looking for you.”

_Fuck fuck fuck why did I say that,_ Wonwoo thinks to himself, already thinking of ways to catapult himself off the face of the earth. 

But Mingyu’s smile widens. 

“Here I am,” he holds his hands out for emphasis, “now you aren’t alone.”

“And neither are you.”

They stare at each other like they’re tied together by a string. They tend to do this often. Wonwoo doesn’t know how long this lasts until his head feels cloudy and he remembers he wants another drink. 

“I’m, uh, gonna go get another shot.”

Mingyu’s eyes sort of widen, and then he nods his head, “Okay then. I’ll take one with you.”

And so Wonwoo leads the way. He can hear people calling at Mingyu, but the taller man simply waves and follows Wonwoo’s figure to the table in the corner. 

“Wonwoo! You made it!” Jeonghan says upon seeing the two, “what can I get for you?”

“No, _no_ , you will _not_ pour another drink you nearly spilled the last one!” Seungcheol shakes his head as he giggles, then turns to Wonwoo, “What can I get for you Wonwoo?”

“Um… whatever you have I guess?” He shrugs, looking at the trashed table with empty plastic shot glasses and half full handles of various drinks. 

“Vodka?” Seungcheol holds up a bottle containing a clear liquid, and he sees Mingyu shudder at the smell of it. Wonwoo shrugs, so Seungcheol starts pouring. Jeonghan is behind him, whispering something into his ear which causes the older’s cheeks to turn a faint pink. Wonwoo doesn’t question it.

“Where is everyone else?” Mingyu asks Jihoon, who’s standing by Seungcheol with his arms crossed over his chest as he carefully watches some guy talking to Soonyoung. He’s too busy pouting to really answer Mingyu’s question. 

“Hard to say, Gyu. They’re scattered,” Seungcheol answers for him, then hands them each a shot glass with some Spite to follow after, “there ya boys go! Make sure to pace yourself, there are snacks inside if you need food, too.”

Wonwoo takes his shot and holds it out between him and Mingyu, “Cheers.”

Mingyu lips curl up and he clinks their drinks together, “Cheers!”

The two down their shots immediately, and while Mingyu goes for the soda, Wonwoo opts out of it. Seungcheol raises his brows in both amazement and amusement. 

Mingyu grimaces after he’s finished his cup, “I think I’m done drinking for the night.”

“Hey guys,” a rather relaxed voice comes from behind them. It snaps Wonwoo out of staring directly at Mingyu (it’s a bad habit he’s developed lately) and he turns to see Vernon and Seungkwan. 

“You done doing karaoke?” Wonwoo asks Seungkwan with a tone of surprise.

“I was _not_ ,” the younger answers with a huff, “but this one dragged me to come and dance with him.”

Vernon simply chuckles at Seungkwan’s proclaimed ‘misery’ of having to leave karaoke, “You’re complaining now but trust me, you would’ve regret not dancing with me later.”

It’s said in a sing song tone that causes Seungkwan to snort, “Yeah, yeah whatever. Let’s go dance then.”

Before Seungkwan can tug him away, Vernon asks the group if any of them want to join. Jihoon, who finally tunes into the conversation sternly says yes, but doesn’t bother to wait for them. Instead, he storms over to Soonyoung. Wonwoo watches as he grabs his boyfriend by the hand and aggressively kisses _the hell out of him_. As expected, someone yells “get a room!”, to which they leave the backyard to do exactly that. 

“ _Finally_ , he’s been standing here fuming for thirty minutes,” Jeonghan says.

“I’m gonna go dance!" Mingyu says, his white canines making an appearance, “do you wanna come?”

It takes a while for Wonwoo to realize he’s actually speaking to him, that question was directed at _him._ He blinks, trying not to stutter. 

“I… think I’m just gonna stand over here,” Wonwoo tells him, because God knows he sucks at dancing _and_ he’s not sure how he would even be able to mentally compose himself dancing next to Mingyu. So when the taller nods his head and goes to join Vernon and Seungkwan, he sighs. 

“Goooo danceeee with himmmm,” Jeonghan begins pushing Wonwoo lightly towards the swarm of dancing bodies until Seungcheol holds his hand down. 

“Don’t force him,” he whispers to Jeonghan, though Wonwoo still very much heard it. 

Mingyu falls into the rhythm of the beat quickly and effortlessly, singing along the lyrics with those around him and overall having a grand ol’ time. Wonwoo is jealous of how easily he does it.

“Even when he dances ridiculously it’s cute,” he accidentally blurts out, causing an uproar of laughter between Jeonghan and Seungcheol.

Wonwoo frowns, and now he feels like Jihoon did about five minutes ago. And then, quite literally out of nowhere, his legs seem to fail doing their sole purpose, and he stumbles. All the drinks seem to be catching up on his body. 

“Whoa-ho-ho,” Seungcheol quickly grabs him by the elbow, “no more drinks for you then.”

Jeonghan snickers, though he has no right given his own state. Wonwoo simply nods his head, allowing Seungcheol to bring him to the wooden chair behind the table. Once he gets himself seated, he feels much better—relaxed. 

He turns his head forward and sees Mingyu looking at him, his mouth wording a “you good?” followed by a thumbs up. Wonwoo nods, gives the other man a thumbs up as reassurance. He tells himself Mingyu is just being a concerned friend, nothing more. The thing about liking someone is that you begin to over-analyze every interaction you have with them— _what did they mean when they said this? Did this?_ It drives Wonwoo absolutely nuts. 

The song changes to one more up-tempo, and Wonwoo sees Mingyu’s eyes light up and he does a few tiny jumps before yelling at Vernon and Seungkwan how much he loves this song. He falls right back into dancing and then meets eyes with Wonwoo once again. Next thing Wonwoo knows, Mingyu is running up to him, his fluffy hair flopping about when he does, and taking Wonwoo’s hand. 

“Wh-wh-what are you…wait, Mingyu, what—!”

“Just dance!” He says to the other, pulling him off the chair and onto the makeshift dance floor. 

“I don’t know how,” he tells him quite lamely, feeling awkward within the crowd. 

“Don’t think too much of it,” is all Mingyu responds with, and then his arms are on Wonwoo’s shoulders. 

Wonwoo gulps. 

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

The good thing is that he’s drunk. Had he been sober he would not have stepped foot into this domain. He follows Mingyu’s advice, trying not to think too much about it, and eventually, it works. The music feels like it’s increasingly getting louder and louder until it’s all he can hear and _feel_ and he doesn’t care how embarrassing he probably looks or who is even looking because he’s dancing with Kim Mingyu for heaven’s sake and he’s giving him the biggest grin in the entire world. The hot summer air is sweaty and sticky, and people occasionally bump into Wonwoo (sometimes bumping him closer to Mingyu’s direction) but he doesn’t bother to care, not even the slightest. It’s not until halfway into the song that Mingyu takes his arms off his shoulder to flourish them up into the air. Wonwoo does the same, and then they’re both bouncing like drunken messes to the song. Mingyu starts screeching the lyrics into the skies and Wonwoo can’t do anything but laugh and laugh and laugh as the lights saturate their skin wondrously. 

His heart feels so content. 

The song eventually ends, allowing the two boys to catch their breath. It’s within that time that a boy, one with a pretty face, broad shoulders approaches Mingyu. He asks him if he wants to dance, and, _oh_ , he even has a nice voice. 

“Uh—”

“He’s with me,” Wonwoo quickly tells the other guy, “sorry.”

Mingyu looks to him, his eyebrow raised and smirk forming on his face, “Oh, am I?”

Wonwoo, quite nonchalantly, answers, “Yeah. Aren’t you?

Mingyu turns back to the stranger, “Looks like I’ll have to pass. Have a good night though!”

The boy doesn’t seem to mind, shrugs and walks away. 

“What was that about?” Mingyu chuckles, “didn’t know you were so territorial.”

“I’m dancing with the hottest guy in the party, I can’t just give you up that easily,” he says with a matter-of-fact tone, like he’s reading the morning paper, and he’s most definitely sure it’s the alcohol giving him all this confidence. Mingyu doesn’t appear unsettled by it at all. Is that a blush Wonwoo sees?

“The hottest guy in the party, huh? You’re boosting my ego way too much.”

Wonwoo throws his head back in laughter. Why can’t talking to Mingyu always be this easy?

And then he continues, “You’re not too bad yourself by the way.”

“Kim Mingyu, are you _flirting with me_?” Wonwoo teases, but he can feel his whole body heating up at the compliment. 

“Maybe I am.”

Wonwoo sees Mingyu’s eyes flicker to his lips, his lids hooded and his hands coming closer to his body— _when did he get that close?_ There’s a quiet intensity to his gaze, and the whole world seems to have slowed down, or disappeared completely. All the adrenaline and excitement that was filling his body to the brim just a second ago has gone, replaced with anxious fingers and heavy limbs.

And then Mingyu pulls away abruptly, giving him a smile before jumping right back into the chaos of the party. He dances further and further away from him until he’s lost in the crowd of swirling bodies and red cups.

Wonwoo feels dizzy. _What was that?_

**

It’s somewhere between 1am and 2am and Wonwoo is still pretty tipsy, now laying on Jun’s hammock. He switches between gazing up at the stars, or watching the waves crash along the shore. Both are equally beautiful, equally deserving of his attention. He gazes aimlessly, still thinking about the way Mingyu’s eyes had glossed over his lips earlier that night and _what could it mean?_

“Hey you,” he hears, and he twists to see Soonyoung approaching him, “I barely saw you all night.”

“Heyyyyy Soonyoung,” Wonwoo waves his arm in his general direction, “there you are.”

He hadn’t spoken to his best friend upon arriving to the party, hadn’t even taken a shot with him, so seeing him was a pleasant end to the night. His hair was all over the place and his eyes giving away apparent exhaustion. He must’ve had _a night_. 

“Oh God Wonwoo, you haven’t sobered up yet?” Soonyoung giggles, now trying to squeeze himself on the hammock with Wonwoo. He slots himself in with a little difficulty, but they make it work. His whole body sighs once he’s comfortable by Wonwoo’s side. The party has died down significantly, the music has now changed to soothing tunes that sound faint from where Wonwoo lays. 

“Jun’s got the fire pit going with the rest of the guys. Tellin' ghost stories or something like that...” Soonyoung yawns, “everyone else has left.”

Wonwoo hums in response, his eyes linger on the navy blue sky for a little while longer, and then he closes his tired eyelids. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” He asks him, snuggling closer.

“Yeah, I did.”

A few beats of silence pass by, and then Soonyoung speaks.

“I saw you earlier. Dancing with Mingyu.”

Wonwoo says nothing.

“You should tell him.”

He’s not sure what exactly Soonyoung is referring to—tell him how he feels or tell him that he’s known him since childhood, but either are applicable. 

“I will,” he mumbles, his head swimming, and he feels like he’s sinking into the hammock. 

“Good. Because here he comes.”

And then his eyes fly open.

“Hey Gyu,” Soonyoung greets, moving to stand up, “how was your night?”

“It was amazing,” he remarks, then gently swings the hammock to grab Wonwoo’s attention. It certainly works, Wonwoo locks eyes with Mingyu’s. Soonyoung takes it as his cue, telling them he’s gonna go check on how Jihoon is doing and probably head to sleep soon. He pats Wonwoo’s shoulder, reminding him of what they’ve just spoken about, and heads inside. 

Mingyu lets out an over-exaggerated sigh as he stretches his arms up and outward. He huffs, kneeling down to meet Wonwoo at eye level. 

“Hi,” he smiles.

“Hi,” Wonwoo responds, “I’m still buzzed.”

Mingyu chortles, “Hmmmm, I wonder why.”

“I… don’t even know how much I drank.”

“ _A lot_. Please don’t throw up on me.”

Wonwoo lets out a quiet chuckle, then shakes his head. Mingyu smells like a mix of sea salt, alcohol, and, just faintly, cologne. He’s inching closer to him, the breeze in the air ruffling the brown locks away from his face. Wonwoo is reminded of his conversation with Minghao earlier, but he pushes it aside, shelves it for a later, sober him to consider. 

“Why are you here?” Wonwoo asks him in a voice soft with both affection and curiosity, letting Mingyu rock the hammock. 

“What do you mean?” He furrows his brow, “do you not want me here?”

To which Wonwoo answers almost too quickly, “No! No. Your presence is nice.”

Mingyu seems pleased by the answer, not necessarily needing to speak in words but smiling softly with his eyes. He watches the fireflies buzzing in the air, cooler air now that it’s past midnight, and they sit in quietude. 

Ever since Wonwoo’s developed these feelings, his life has been nothing but temptations and urges being around the other. Temptations and urges he has to fight on a daily basis—wanting to text him, wanting to call him, wanting to see him, wanting to hold his hand, wanting to feel how soft his hair really is, wanting to simply reach out. _So much wanting._ Not enough doing. 

Not enough doing.

It’s that logic exactly that Wonwoo uses when he slowly brings his hand to Mingyu’s face. Mingyu doesn’t stir, in fact, his features soften to the touch. Wonwoo takes it as permission to continue.

Even with the boost of confidence from the many, many drinks he’s had, his breathing is still uneven, his hand still trembling just slightly. His mind is whirring—what is he thinking, why is he doing this, is this okay, but then Mingyu nuzzles closer to his hand, so it all feels alright. More than alright. 

_He’s so pretty_ he thinks. He’s more than that though, he’s breathtaking. 

Wonwoo indulges in the warmth of Mingyu, the way it spreads to his bones and makes his insides feel like honey. He caresses his skin in feather-soft, delicate touches, as if he’s afraid that anything more would ruin the moment. It’s like watching a flower blossom, yet something about it is so… intimate, vulnerable. He was worried that Mingyu would bolt at lightning speed to the touch, so this. This is nice. It nearly blinds him, catches him off guard, and then…

Mingyu dreamily exhales in content, fluttering his eyes shut. 

“Your presence is nice, too,” he says in a hushed whisper, like no one but him had permission to hear it. Wonwoo drops his hand then, already missing it. His hand feels empty. 

“Mingyu,” he tries with all his might to stop his voice from quavering, tries to sound as rooted and stable as possible. The taller opens his eyes then; Wonwoo thinks this is the clearest he’s ever seen them. He almost loses himself in how whimsical and surreal it all feels, something that seemed so intangible before suddenly is very much tangible. He thinks _this_ is what all those Romantic poets were writing about back then, when they spilled the contents of their heart onto paper, yearning for their love.

_Love?_

Wonwoo sucks in a breath. He doesn’t know how someone can be so _beautiful_ , he’s like a moth to a flame when it comes to Mingyu, fully entranced by him. When he seems him, it’s as if all the lights are twinkling inside of him, it feels like coloring in a black and white page with vivid colors. Is that love? Is it love, that Wonwoo wants to experience everything good in the world with Mingyu? Is it love that he doesn’t walk into rooms Mingyu isn’t in, is it love when he wants to trace every minute detail of his body with his hands, and make Mingyu feel all the happiness he makes him feel? He could write an entire novel on the way Mingyu makes him feel.

The world is already far too dark and cruel to deny oneself the chance of love, and to love. He's always believed it to be a word not to throw around so carelessly into the wind, especially not after his last relationship. But with Mingyu... he can feel himself falling deeper and deeper each passing day, and maybe this is love, maybe it isn't quite there yet, but at the very least he knows he likes him and that, he must tell him.

“Mingyu,” he repeats, lips moving slower this time to call out his name. Mingyu lifts an eyebrow, leaning closer. It’s then Wonwoo catches it again, just like earlier tonight—he’s looking at his lips. 

“You’re looking at my lips,” he calls him out without any hesitation, “if you’re gonna stare at them, might as well—”

And then it happens. 

Mingyu is hastily grabbing onto the hem of his shirt and lips are pressed against lips. His chest feels light when Mingyu kisses him. It lasts far too short, he can hardly process what’s even happening as it’s happening. But this he knows: Mingyu’s lips are just as tender as he imagined they would be, and they taste like a sweet venom (the strangest paradox he’s ever thought of, but it’s the best way to put it), and the comforting warmth he emanates is back. It’s not his first kiss, but somehow it’s the only kiss Wonwoo’s had that matters. 

But then it’s gone and Mingyu is looking at him with wide eyes and rosy cheeks. 

“Fuck,” he says, “fuck fuck fuck.”

Mingyu stands up, almost like he’s in disbelief over what’s just happened—which does not look good—and then he’s pacing back and forth. 

“W-wait, Mingyu,” Wonwoo staggers getting up from the hammock, but once he’s standing, he puts his arms on Mingyu’s biceps in an attempt to calm him down. Also his pacing is giving Wonwoo a headache. He really wishes he were sober right now.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t-I don’t know why I did that,” he avoids eye contact, staring at the grains of sand pooled around his feet instead and… _does he actually think Wonwoo is upset with him?_

“No no no no, it’s fine, Mingyu, _it’s fine_ ,” he’s desperately trying to meet his eyes, “it’s fine.”

“Wonwoo, you’re drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk.”

Mingyu removes Wonwoo’s hands away from him, and there Wonwoo goes, missing the touch yet again. It feels a lot colder without Mingyu close. Frantic, hopeless, Wonwoo is coming undone like a loose thread that was meant to hold something together, _he_ was meant to hold them together.

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo swallows, “please, _please.”_

He’s not sure what he’s pleading for, but he feels himself holding back tears, his throat getting choked up but he will not, he will _not_ , cry in front of Mingyu. But his eyes are burning, and he knows his voice is doing the thing, that thing it does where it shakes uncontrollably, violently.

Mingyu is biting his gum, Wonwoo is afraid that if he bites any harder he’ll start bleeding. 

“Mingyu, listen, _I like you_ ,” he states with as much determination that he can muster with all the emotional overflow, “I—”

“No, stop, stop stop stop,” and he’s pacing back and forth again until he stops in front of Wonwoo, “you don’t mean that.”

There’s a stale taste in the air that gnaws at Wonwoo’s core. And then he gets defensive, his voice strained, “Of course I mean that, what do you mean? Am I not allowed to have feelings for you?”

He looks mildly frightened (scaring Mingyu is the last thing Wonwoo wants to do), and then his posture stiffens, “Wonwoo, you don’t know me.”

The words sting, soaking in his skin. 

“I have to go,” Mingyu breathes, and there’s a look of guilt in his eyes, because he knows what he’s about to do will hurt Wonwoo. But he does it anyway.

He leaves. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh heh heh.............


	14. happy birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Wonwoo's birthday.

There is no better words to sum up the next five days of Wonwoo’s life other than utterly miserable. And shitty. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY WONWOO!”

Oh, and it’s his birthday.

“Get up, ya sleepyhead,” Soonyoung shakes him so hard, he thinks his guts might spill out, “you are not going to stay in bed on your birthday.”

“And why not?” Wonwoo pouts. His attempts to hide himself in his covers are thwarted by Soonyoung’s hands literally dragging him off his far too comfy bed. His aunt really knew what she was doing in buying a memory foam mattress.

“Because it’s your birthday, _duh_. That should be enough reason.”

He’s spent the last several days devoted to playing video games, his eyesight probably worsening gradually with the amount of time he’s been staring at the tiny screen of his phone, or his laptop, or his Nintendo DS. If his mind was focused on beating some boss on a game, or completing a mission, then it would keep himself occupied from… other thoughts invading his head space. He’s kept minimal contact with just about everyone, the extent of their exchanges reduced to Wonwoo telling them he’s “too busy”to do anything. But he couldn’t avoid society for that much longer, especially not on his birthday. 

Wonwoo groans, letting Soonyoung pick him up off the ground to stand on his own two feet.

“Exactly. It’s _my birthday_ , meaning _I_ can do whatever the hell _I_ want,” he says, lightly stomping his feet on the ground in a manner similar to a child. 

“Wonwoo,” Soonyoung gives him an unrelenting look, “We haven’t celebrated your birthday together since we were kids. Look, we don’t even have to do anything with the rest of the guys today, it can just be me and you.”

He sighs, running his hand through his jet black hair. It had been weeks ago when they all planned on going bowling to celebrate Wonwoo’s birthday. See, at the time, it seemed like a great idea, enticing even. Now… not so much. 

But they already made plans for it, Chan had even texted him the night before saying how excited he was to go, so he can’t just cancel at such short notice. The thought of upsetting Chan would be on his conscience forever after all. So while Wonwoo appreciates Soonyoung’s sentiment, he wouldn’t do that to the rest of the guys. Plus, maybe it’ll be fun, his inner turmoil put aside. 

“No, I don’t…” he takes a deep breath, “we’ll go bowling.”

“You sure?”

He nods his head, then moves to make his bed, “Yeah. It’ll be fun.” He can’t tell if he’s convincing his friend, or convincing himself. 

“You know you don’t have to,” Soonyoung tells him, genuine concern evident in the corner of his eyes. 

“I know.”

Mochi struts into the room and instantly becomes swooped into Wonwoo’s arms, the messy bed forgotten once his aunt’s beloved pet graces the room with her presence. 

“It’s my birthday today,” he coos at her lovingly as he pets the soft fur. Mochi’s response comes in the form of a nestle into his forearms and a purr. 

“Alright then,” Soonyoung says, now making Wonwoo’s bed for him (mind you, Soonyoung doesn’t even make his own bed), “what do you wanna do until then?”

“Jun wants to go for brunch at 12,” Wonwoo’s answering just as a knock comes on the door. He looks at Soonyoung, confused, until his friend flashes his phone at him to show him the time. 12:13. Wonwoo’s eyes turn into the shape of saucers, and he dashes to the front door. Just as expected, there’s Jun waiting outside the porch with his hands on his hips. 

“I am so sorry,” he apologizes immediately upon flinging the door open. He doesn’t have his contacts on, nor his glasses, so he can’t really see clearly if Jun looks upset or angry with him. 

“Please don’t be mad at me,” he smiles awkwardly, hoping it helps. When Jun laughs, he knows he’s in the clear. 

“I’m not mad dude, don’t feel bad. I called you like five times though!” He lets himself in, waving to Soonyoung playing with Mochi in the bedroom.

“My phone is off. I’ve had no contact with outside civilization. I don’t even know how Soonyoung got in here.”

“You _gave me_ an extra key Wonwoo,” he answers, now joining them in the living room.

“Why don’t you two just live together?” Jun asks it a joke, a rhetorical question if anything, but Soonyoung and Wonwoo look at each other like it’s the best idea they’ve heard in a while.

“Okay, anyway,” Jun dismisses the topic before they can get into it, “I still haven’t had breakfast, and by the look of it neither have you. So…?”

“I’m starving,” Soonyoung whines as he clutches his stomach, “I know you weren’t asking me but can we please go eat?”

Wonwoo chuckles, suddenly feeling a lot less dejected and mentally exhausted being in the presence of these two, “Yeah, let me get ready.”

“Put your contacts on so you can stop squinting at me!” he hears Jun exclaim. 

It’s then Wonwoo decides he’ll set his tidal wave of emotions aside, it’s his birthday for Christ’s sake, he shouldn’t have to be so downtrodden with nerves and feelings and whatnot. He will make the most out of today, no matter what happens.

No matter _who_ happens.

**

Jun and Soonyoung have been going back and forth over which Marvel character they deem the best for fifteen minutes, post-birthday brunch meal. They haven’t really stated what constitutes “the best”, whether it be strength, wit, personality, etc., which leaves the whole argument to be completely subjective. Despite it, Wonwoo enjoys watching them debate back and forth, he had already staked his claim with Iron Man so he didn’t bother continuing past that. 

His birthday gifts from both boys are displayed on the table in front of him; Soonyoung’s given him a collection of books Wonwoo had told him months ago he wanted to read, as well as a leather-bound journal and cologne from Jun. 

“Okay but _Spider-Man_ ,” Soonyoung slams his hand down on the table, adamant with his opinion.

“You’re literally only saying that because you, too, relate to being a 15-year-old kid,” Jun remarks, “Thor is literally a _god._ ”

“First of all, rude _._ Second of all, he’s Spider-Man!”

“Soonyoung you have literally given me no evidence to back up your claim other than the fact that he is Spider-Man.”

Wonwoo barks a laugh at Jun’s statement. Their waiter comes by to take their empty plates from the table and bring them their check, which finally brings an end to the Marvel debate, much to Wonwoo’s relief. 

It’s a beautiful day out, perfect for celebration, with a wondrous breeze ruffling the sun umbrellas shading them, and sun rays emitting warmth against his skin. He finishes the rest of his fruit cocktail and crunches down on the ice leftover.

“How’s Minghao, by the way?” Wonwoo asks, reaching for his wallet. Soonyoung slaps his hand away before he can even think about setting money down, telling him it’s his and Jun’s treat. 

“He’s good, he went out shopping with Mingyu when I left,” he tells them, then proceeds to scan Wonwoo’s face for any slight micro-reaction, “Mingyu is good, too, in case you were wondering.”

Soonyoung snorts, Wonwoo scowls. 

“I wasn’t, but thanks anyway,” he mumbles, though he and the two of them know that isn’t entirely true.

“I have a reason to be bitter!” He exclaims once he sees the expression on their faces, “he left me that night and hasn’t given me an explanation since!”

“As much as I love you Wonwoo, and as much as I don’t agree with what Mingyu did at all, just think about it. The last time he liked someone that didn’t necessarily… go as he had expected—no offense, Jun—and, well, to be honest, Mingyu hasn’t really had successful romantic ventures,” Soonyoung explains to him as he relaxes on his back against the chair. 

“Okay, well neither have I,” Wonwoo counters, escalating this conversation more than he had expected. He mentally curses himself, he had just said he wouldn’t get involved in anything regarding his emotions today. 

“Right, yeah, and it means a lot that you’re able to move past that,” Jun says, “but you have to respect it if Mingyu isn’t quite at that stage yet. Everyone moves at their own pace.”

He bites his lip, realizing they’re right, and breathes out his emotions, “I know, _I know_. It just sucks not having any… I dunno, closure? Or whatever. He could’ve just rejected me all plain and dandy.”

Neither of the two say anything, simply looking at him with sympathetic glances and shrugs. Wonwoo shakes it off, not wanting to indulge on the subject for too long.

“Anyway,” he says, “I still think Iron Man is the best superhero. I will fight either of you on that one.”

**

By the time their allotted bowling time arrives, Wonwoo’s spirits are high and his cheeks almost hurt from grinning too much (in his defense, he hadn’t necessarily spent the last few days smiling so his body was merely adjusting perhaps).

“Wonwoo, happy birthday!!” Seungkwan and Seokmin ambush the birthday boy together, the masses of their bodies combined become too much for a caught off guard Wonwoo resulting in the three of their bodies meeting the grass all too quickly. Wonwoo’s body get the most impact, but he doesn’t think much of as he knows it comes from good intent. Plus, there’s nothing wrong with being smothered with love. Especially from these two. 

“Oops,” Seokmin says, his mouth close to Wonwoo’s ear, “maybe that wasn’t the best idea. Sorry Wonwoo.”

“What the heck Seokmin, I didn’t know you were gonna rush in the same time I was,” Seungkwan’s voice is muffled, though you can still hear the frustration in it. The two get up off the boy, realizing they’re probably crushing him. Wonwoo merely laughs it off, assuring them it’s okay. He can hear Seungcheol and Jeonghan somewhere not too far away cackling.

A similar, less harmful, array of hugs and smother-ness proceeds Seungkwan and Seokmin from the rest of the boys present. When Wonwoo did a quick, casual scan around them, checking his peripherals to see that Mingyu isn’t anywhere to be seen. He ignores the sinking feeling in his chest plummeting into the pit of his stomach, because _what if he doesn’t come_? But before he can mull it over, the boys are treading him along inside the arcade with lighthearted laughs all around. 

Seungcheol’s hand meets his shoulder in a firm grip, “So, birthday boy, how does it feel to be 22?”

“Just like how it felt to be 21,” he chortles, his nose scrunching at his own joke, “nah, but it’s good. It’s been good so far.”

Seungcheol nods his head, “I know this is a big question to ask right now, and I don’t doubt Soonyoung’s pestered you about it, but are you planning on staying here once the summer ends?” 

Ah, yes. _That_. The impending question that’s been tucked away in the back crevices of his brain, a question that he wasn’t entirely sure he knew the answer to. There’s no doubt about itthat Soonyoung wants him to stay, though he knows his best friend would understand if he chose not to. He stands up straighter as he thinks about how to respond to that. He can’t say he’s given it no thought, because he has, just not long enough to come to a conclusion.

“You don’t have to answer, I was just curious is all. We love having you here with us. Though the city does probably have more job opportunities, so I wouldn’t hate you if you decide to leave,” he says with a comforting smile, now removing the hand off his shoulder. 

“I guess I don’t have an answer yet. If I move out here I’d have to find a place to live, somewhere to work, I-I dunno. It’s a lot.”

“It is. But you know we’d be happy to help you.”

He looks at Seungcheol, notices the sincerity not only his words but in the expression in his face and inflection of his voice. He’s become well aware that Seungcheol tends to quite literally embarrass the hell out himself, ultimately providing anyone with him second-hand embarrassment (how Jeonghan puts up with it is beyond him), but he’s also compassionate beyond words, able to bring a sense of safety and comfort that resembles that of a parent with their child (a weird comparison… but it works for all intents and purposes), and always appears to know more than he lets on. All in all, Wonwoo appreciates Seungcheol. They all do really. 

“Thanks man,” his smile widens, “I’ll definitely think about it.”

Their conversation ends abruptly, Soonyoung’s voice cutting through all the chatter as he stands at the helm of the group talking to the staff member behind the desk. 

“I’m trying to get a head count so everyone stay still,” he announces, already beginning to count off heads with his index finger.

“It’s 12,” they all say within various seconds, Wonwoo excluded. 

“Uh, 13,” a disembodied voice comes from behind Wonwoo and Seungcheol, and then there’s Mingyu rounding the corner and Wonwoo can physically feel his whole body go rigid at the sight of him. He hadn’t anticipated how much it’d hurt to see him. 

“Sorry I’m late,” he says quietly, and it’s the first Wonwoo’s seen him look so nervous to be in front of a crowd of people. It’s uncharacteristic and rather unsettling. 

“So, 13 then,” Soonyoung then tells the staff worker, who then begins to ask one by one their sizes for bowling shoes. It’s during this time Wonwoo attempts to avoid any social interaction with Mingyu, and Seungcheol seems to be very much aware of this that when Mingyu does approach him, he links arms with Wonwoo as a mechanism to remind him of his presence. 

“Hey, um, happy birthday,” he greets him, and there’s a tiny smile on his face but he can barely withstand eye contact. 

“Thanks,” is all Wonwoo can say, maintaining an impassive, blank expression on his face. He’s learned to become very good at it over the years.

And then his gaze meets his, fleeting, lasting only a second, though it had felt like all the time in the world to Wonwoo. He sees the tiredness drenched in Mingyu’s eyes, the dark circles underneath them, his hair in a disarray, and what is normally so tan and saturated, his skin now pale. 

Wonwoo’s heart nearly stops beating at the sight. If his demeanor itself was unsettling, this just adds to it. 

“Mingyu—“ Seungcheol starts, but the taller leaves them and disperses amongst the boys. 

Wonwoo’s exhale comes out shakier than he had expected it to, unlinking his arm from Seungcheol’s. He feels like he needs a breath of fresh air, or cold water to splash on his face, and maybe then it’ll stop the tears threatening to spill, but then the staff lady comes to him asking his shoe size so he sucks it up. 

After getting their designated bowling lane and tying the laces on their run down shoes, Soonyoung breaks the group into three different groups. 

“I call dibs on birthday boy!” He claims first, and then several of them decide they, too, want Wonwoo on their team after him. 

“Let Wonwoo have a say in the matter,” Vernon suggests, and then they all turn to look at the boy in question. 

“Uh…” Wonwoo starts, not quite sure how to approach this, “I’ll take Soonyoung, Jun, and Jihoon.”

Which leaves Chan, Jeonghan, Seungcheol, Joshua to form a group; Mingyu, Minghao, Seokmin, Vernon, and Seungkwan to form another. 

And so they play. Wonwoo learns that having Jun on his team is actually quite the advantage, as the man is quite good at the sport (no shocker there). It’s not that Wonwoo is particularly competitive, but it’s just nice to be on the winning side. And for the majority of it, it’s fun, they joke and tell stories just as they typically do, Wonwoo has nice conversations with a few of the guys (a quite notable one, Vernon ends up talking to him about reptiles for thirty minutes) and he wrinkles his nose at every awful release of the bowling ball he makes. The ball goes into the gutter three times, but the boys cheer him for it anyway. Everyone surrounding them looks to their group in both confusion and annoyance, but neither one of them bother to care. Sometimes it feels like they forget they're in pubic when they act as rambunctiously as they do. The staff even bring around a cupcake and cotton candy for his birthday. He feels like a kid again, not like he’s just turned 22, and he’s enthralled to be celebrating with everyone. 

It still doesn’t stop the churn of his guts every time he spares a tiny peek at Mingyu, who, uncharacteristically, isn’t talking much today. Chan’s made a point of it, saying something about missing his laugh filling the room, but Wonwoo catches Joshua telling him not to press the issue further. When Minghao shares a look with Wonwoo, he isn’t sure what to think of it, if Minghao is upset with him, or angry, or disappointed, or empathetic. Soonyoung reminds Wonwoo with a whisper in his ear to not to let anything come in the way of his fun today but he it’s not like he can stop himself from caring about the questionable state of Mingyu. 

It was a universal feeling that when Mingyu wasn’t his regular self, it almost felt like the planet was turned upside down on its axis. Wonwoo can’t even say that that’s not fair, it’s his birthday, because he believes it to be true as well. 

Nevertheless, they all still manage as normal, the white elephant in the room never once spoken about even after they finish up bowling and all wind up in Seokmin’s living room by the end of the night.

The boys have prepared a cake, because who would they be if they didn’t, and Wonwoo isn’t even the slightest bit surprised when Soonyoung pops out the kitchen with the magnificent, home-baked pastry in his hand. It’s vanilla and strawberry flavored (his favorite) with a decently drawn caricature of him and Mochi on the corner—he absolutely loves it. They begin to sing happy birthday as Jeonghan places a birthday hat on his head and this alone is the most he’s celebrated his birthday in years. Also, who the fuck knew all twelve of their voices mushed together would sound this pleasing to the ear, what the _hell_ , they should start a band. 

“Blow out the candles!” Seungkwan says behind his iPhone, recording the spectacle all on video. Wonwoo bends to blow the two ‘2’ candles right in the center of the cake, the flames bringing a warm illumination on his face, and all the boys clap when the fire transforms into small smoke. He grins wide into several different cameras and begins the process of cutting the cake into slices for those who want one. Something about this is nostalgic of his childhood dreams, except not quite. He wishes everything could feel right and golden, just today on his birthday, but his mind shifts to Mingyu and he’s reminded of everything once more. The kiss, etched into his memory, but more importantly, the way Mingyu had wanted to deny everything, the way he left that night.

And to twist the metaphorical knife into his wound even further, he looks at Mingyu. Wonwoo could move mountains with the effort it takes him to stop stealing glances at the younger, which he fails at anyway, clearly. Mingyu’s eyes are fixated elsewhere, and truthfully he looks like he’s anywhere but here, in this room and Wonwoo’s heart wrenches. _Does he not want to be here?_ His throat feels dry and he becomes hyperaware of the fact all the attention is on him cutting this cake, but luckily, his phone rings and _whew_ , he’s never been so happy to receive a phone call. He looks down at the caller ID. 

It’s his mom. 

He tells the boys he has a call to take and moves to the kitchen. As soon as he answers, he’s greeted by his family shouting happy birthday into his ear. Wonwoo smiles helplessly, the tightness in his chest gone and a grateful smile plastered on his face. 

“How’s your day been so far?” His mom asks, and he can hear his brother making some snide remark about him getting older. 

“It’s been good, just been hanging out with the guys. We’re eating cake right now,” he tells them, taking a seat on one of the stools in Seokmin’s kitchen. His mom begins to prattle on about how much they miss him, asking if he got their present in the mail (which yes, he had yesterday—they had sent him a telescope he had spent all last night putting together), and all sorts of questions about what he did today. The phone call lasts for about fifteen minutes, it’s already pretty late and he knows his mom is notorious for sleeping early, so they say their goodbyes and make promises to see each other soon.

It’s as he’s jotting a note in his phone to remind himself to send birthday pictures and videos to his mom when Mingyu walks in, the platter of cake in tow. Wonwoo freezes, wishing he was back on the phone with his brother despite his habit to ramble about school gossip he knows nothing about. He’s putting the cake in the fridge, taking longer than it should take because he has to rearrange the foods in order for it to fit and Wonwoo watches as he silently struggles. It’s actually quite amusing.

Eventually, he arises from the bottom of the fridge, behind the kitchen island and meets eyes with Wonwoo.

He blinks, “Uh… hi.”

“Hi,” Wonwoo responds tentatively, trying to find something to do with his hands and somewhere else to look that’s not Mingyu’s face, nor the chambray short sleeved shirt that’s buttoned halfway down his chest. 

“Happy birthday, again,” he tells him, mustering a small smile. It surprises Wonwoo, until he realizes that it’s probably for formality’s sake, which he gets. He thanks him, assuming that was the extent to the conversation, and already moves to head back to the living room space.

“W-wait, Wonwoo!” Mingyu calls after him, taking one step closer towards the man, “I’m sorry, I… uh, can we actually just. Talk? It doesn’t have to be long if you don’t want it to be, I get that you probably hate me right now and I don’t even deserve—“

“Sure,” Wonwoo says, trying to keep his cool despite the millions of different thoughts crossing his mind at the moment, bubbling and ready to emerge. He doesn’t want to assume the worst, but knowing him, he assumes the worst. 

Mingyu leads him out to the warmth of the July night, to the porch in Seokmin’s backyard, taking a seat on one of the patio dining chairs, Wonwoo on another. He shuts the sliding door, and it’s just Wonwoo and Mingyu.

He’s anxious, Wonwoo can tell, brittle almost with the way his eyes look and the open and closing of his mouth as he finds the words. They sit in silence for quite some time, Wonwoo studying the inky blue sky and wishing he were at home with his telescope right now, or reading one of his new books. It hadn’t been all that long since his last encounter with Mingyu, but somehow, seeing him now, it feels like they’re being confronted after years apart. His pulse picks up the longer he doesn’t speak, and he doesn’t know how much faster it can go before he begins to wonder if he’ll just implode altogether, but finally, Mingyu finds the words. 

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu begins, drawing Wonwoo’s attention, “I know… I know that was a shitty thing to do that night. I’m really, really fucking sorry.”

He doesn’t say anything, mostly because he wants the other to continue, but also because he can’t help but notice exhaustion pale Mingyu’s skin, making Wonwoo feel cold.

“I just freaked out, if I’m being completely honest,” he adds, “I shouldn’t have lashed out on you because of my inability to handle… what you told me. Which, I made you feel so shitty about. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you shitty because you have feelings. That was awful. I’m sorry.”

Wonwoo’s shoulders, stiff all this time, eventually fall into an exhale, in a way the leaves fall to the ground in autumn, because they must, like an accepted defeat. He knows why Mingyu is apologizing, he knows it’s because he can’t return his feelings, and not all the preparation in the world would’ve made this easier for him. 

“Mingyu,” he speaks up, shoving away his fear that he might absolutely lose it having this conversation, “I get it if you don’t feel the same way, that’s… that’s out of my control.”

He breathes in through his nose, trying to keep his composure because maybe the tears he’s been holding back since that night are finally making their appearance, and of course it’s got to be in front of him of all people. 

His body stills, his voice steady and turning traitorously soft (he can’t help it) as he asks the one question he’s been wondering for about a week now, “But _why_ did you kiss me then?”

The question sits in the air for a split second, and then Mingyu answers. 

“Because… I wanted to."

Wonwoo stares at him, biting his tongue behind a mask of indifference though his hands begin to shake and he’s not sure how much longer he can handle the silence. 

“‘Because _you wanted to’_?”

To which Mingyu gives a shy sorta, apologetic smile, and Wonwoo does the one thing he was afraid to do. 

He blows up.

“You mean to tell me… I’ve been repressing everything that I’ve been feeling for you for weeks, afraid that I was coming off too… too _strong_ and not letting my feelings get the best of me because, hell, I’ve ‘ _wanted to’_ kiss you or hold your hand or whatever so many times but I-I can’t, I can’t just—”His voice is weak, the strain and the weight of his emotion seeping into his words, “Sometimes I get so lost with being with you, so wrapped up in your presence that I forget I can’t just…” He can’t seem to finish that sentence, and now he’s officially crying. 

Still, he continues, his voice low and guttural, eyes searing into Mingyu, “ _You_ don’t get to decide you’re allowed to do whatever the fuck you want. You can’t kiss me then have the audacity to tell me it’s simply because you wanted to, that’s not _fair_ , Mingyu. It’s not fair that I can’t do things not only simply because I want to, but because I like you. But if it’s you, you can do it all willy-nilly because nothing behind it holds meaning, right? So it’s okay, _right_?” 

Mingyu’s head dips, his hair hiding his face shamefully. The stillness that follows is defeaning. Wonwoo feels the tears, warm and unwarranted, streaming down his face and… rejection fucking _hurts_. His fists ball up, and he can hardly look at Mingyu without feeling his heart twisting and turning and bending in ways the heart shouldn’t, the physical ache of it spreading to all parts of his body til it’s all he feels. Perhaps maybe in another universe Wonwoo doesn’t break his own heart by exaggerating his place in another person’s life.

“That’s not it,” Mingyu eventually speaks, timid and small, “that’s not it at all.”

“Oh yeah?” Wonwoo spits out venomously, despite feeling frail, fragile, “then what is it?”

“I like you,” he says, loud and clear, not wavering in the slightest, “I kissed you because I like you.”

Wonwoo stops.

_He… what._

He’s almost isn’t sure he heard Mingyu’s words correctly; the tightening of his jaw now loosening and his eyes a reflection of the bewildered state he’s in at the other’s declaration. All of the oxygen feels like it’s left the room—left Earth completely—and Wonwoo isn’t all quite sure what he’s breathing in that case. Their eyes find each other, Mingyu’s eyelashes damp from his tears and his cheeks flushed a pink color.

“I left because I was scared. I know that’s a dumb excuse, but I was _so scared_ ,” his voice in a mere whisper, “you bared your heart out to me and I was afraid that I was hurting you.”

“Wha-what do you mean?” 

“Wonwoo, I’ve had a lot of fun with you over the past few weeks. I can’t tell you how _happy_ I am that we finally got on good terms. Seriously. And yeah, for a while, being around you helped me forget about everything with Minghao, but it became more than that, I genuinely wanted to be around you, spend time with you. I really liked spending time with you. I just got scared. I know what it’s like to have feelings for someone who is in love with someone else,” his eyes turn away, taking another breath to recollect himself, “I was afraid that I… was putting you in that position, and I would hate myself for ever doing that to you.”

Wonwoo is left speechless, letting all the information soak in. He feels dizzy almost? His mind turning and turning through the words. Except Mingyu isn’t quite done yet. 

“I felt guilty, like I didn’t deserve to have you around me because my feelings were still a mess. I wanted to tell you sorry that night, not because I can’t return your feelings but because… I still needed to get mine in check, I guess? I mean, I still do,” he brows pinch together tightly, “I couldn’t tell you then because I didn’t even know, I didn’t even have the words for it. With Minghao, the feelings kinda just happened over time, but with you… it’s like one day I woke up and wanted to see you and then I started waking up every day like that. I don’t-I don’t really know. I don’t want you to think I’m turning to you as a way to avoid the pain I went through after Minghao because you’re much more than that. I don’t want to get into anything with you until we’re on the same page, and I know I’m getting there, how could I not when you’re so… _you._ You’re the most interesting person I know to be quite honest. I care about you so much and… and I want to properly show you how I feel, when the time is right,” he breathes out, “I just don’t know if that’s now.”

_Well, fuck_ Wonwoo thinks, wiping the tears off his cheek. The invisible dull weight in his chest is lifting with each sentence that Mingyu says and it’s as if he’s reassembling the broken bits of his brain back together. He’s got it all wrong after all, because… Mingyu cares. About him. 

And he knows that Mingyu is naturally a caring person, going out of his way to make others happy because it essentially brings him happiness, but the fact that it’s being directed at Wonwoo? Towards him? For him? 

“I shouldn’t have kissed you that night and I’m sorry,” he apologizes once more, “I can’t even blame the alcohol then, that was all me at that point, I just… acted impulsively. But please don’t think it had no meaning to it. I mean, c’mon, I felt a little something there,” Mingyu chuckles, probably to lessen the pressure (Wonwoo hates him for making him smile right now), “please don’t hate me forever.”

Something floods his system, he’s not sure quite with what; it’s overwhelming in an inexplicable way. The words keep replaying in his head until their stuck there. Mingyu likes him. He actually likes him. And he knows that there’s still much Mingyu has to settle with himself, he thinks back to what Jun said earlier about giving him time (has Jun known all along?) but nevertheless he feels like he’s floating because Mingyu _feels something_ and that’s all he needs. 

“I could never hate you, stupid, not even if I wanted to,” he states, a quiet, blooming smile on his face, because it’s true, “for the record, I didn’t actually plan on doing anything about liking you.”

The sleepy smile is wiped off Mingyu’s face, replaced with a frown, “And why the hell not?”

Wonwoo snickers, “You know, Minghao asked me the same exact thing.”

“Did he now? So he knows then? Wow that would explain a lot,” he throws his hands up, a breathless laugh, “he’s been telling me talk to you all week."

It reminds him of when he was urging Jun to talk to Minghao, or when he did the same with Soonyoung to talk to Jihoon, only serving to remind him once again that their group of friends is filled with a bunch of oblivious idiots who can’t speak to one another. 

“Uh so…” Mingyu asks, sliding his hands into his pockets, “I-I know it’s a lot to ask for you to wait until I’m ready so I won’t but can we just, like, continue what we’ve been doing? I wanna keep spending time with you… if that’s okay?”

It occurs to him then that Wonwoo’s really fucking missed this; his voice, his canines, his smile, his eyes, his whole being—and it’s only been five days. Wonwoo’s heart is doing leaps, leaps over buildings and mountains and oceans because Mingyu is so damn cute, and he nods, “Of course that’s okay.”

_Of course I’ll wait for you_ he thinks to himself, too, because no one in the world could stop him from whatever he feels for Mingyu, he’s too far down the rabbit hole at this point. And even though he spent the last week shutting himself off from feelings, it all comes back at full force now that he’s sitting with the man of his affection. Even if Wonwoo had been born another person with a different life, that still somehow managed to cross paths with Mingyu, he’d like him all the same then. 

There’s a word that doesn’t quite exist just yet to explain the way his heart swells uncontrollably right now, because of Mingyu, for Mingyu, and maybe it’s a word he’ll have to invent himself. 

So Wonwoo sits there, thankful that in this relatively short span of a lifetime, fate, a higher being, or whatever it may be, has possessed his world and Mingyu’s to be collided once more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I'M SO SORRY FOR ANOTHER TERRIBLY LATE UPDATE. but... they've !! finally !! talked !! 
> 
> also... shoutout to my soulmate julia for her endless support for this story; happy early birthday my love!!
> 
> and thank you to everyone for your comments/kudos, i honestly did not expect this story to reach the amount of people it has reached and it means a lot to me that y'all love it so much! i love reading your comments, it's my favorite part in releasing a new chapter!!
> 
> come talk to me on twitter (@ults17) hehe i will gladly talk my mouth off about sea of sand or mingyu if anyone wants to be friends


	15. under the sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo and Mingyu go to the aquarium.

A couple days after Wonwoo’s birthday—once things finally feel alright, and he stops leaving his phone dead because now there’s the potential of Mingyu messaging him—Wonwoo has plans with Jun, hence, finding himself knocking on his apartment door in the late afternoon. 

“It’s open,” a silken voice comes from the other side of the door, surely not belonging to Jun. He opens the door regardless of the fact, and there Minghao stands. Painting on an easel, jazz music quietly playing from the speakers by the television set, incense burning on the table. 

Anyone that knows Minghao knows that this isn’t anything quite out of the ordinary.

There’s paint speckled on his ripped jeans and white sleeveless t-shirt, smeared on his forearms and some on his face, though it works in a grunge-y, artsy way. He appears to be quite in his element like this. 

“Hey Wonwoo,” he greets him, his intense gaze leaving his artwork to glance at the other, softening at the sight of Wonwoo. His lips curl up slightly into a smile, “make yourself comfortable.”

“Uhh… I’m not intruding, am I?” He asks first, to which Minghao shakes his head. 

Taking that as permission, Wonwoo slowly treads to the couch feeling very weird, very awkward to say the least. Most one-on-one interactions with Minghao have this similar pattern; always uncertain of what to say to the other, always uncertain how he feels about him. The last they had really spoken to one another was at the party, where they both had too much to drink. 

_“You like my best friend."_ He remembers it as clear as day, as if it were just yesterday and not almost two weeks ago. 

Minghao proceeds with his art work, squeezing more primary colors onto his palette. Wonwoo begins to think his presence has been forgotten until the younger spins around. 

“Oh! Are you here for Jun?” He asks him, his eyebrow quirked, head tilted. 

“Um, yeah, is he in the bathroom or something?” Wonwoo looks around, trying to spot the man of the hour, but alas all there is, is Minghao. 

“He didn’t tell you? He’s running a bit late from work,” he takes a step back to study his work, then dips his paintbrush into a vibrant red before dabbing it on the canvas. He makes a pleased noise at the outcome of his technique. 

Wonwoo shifts in his seat, “Oh. Like how late?” 

Minghao shrugs, “He didn’t really say. You’re more than welcome to stay, though. I could use the company. Mingyu’s been gone all day as well.”

Minghao’s eyes follow the motion of the strokes he makes onto the canvas, talking as slow as his hand moves, perhaps to keep his concentration. All while Wonwoo’s mind is so… blank, unable to even come up with a conversation starter. He doesn't want to sit awkwardly in this living room as he waits for Jun's arrival, and he comes pretty close to telling Minghao he'll just head out and wait at his own. 

Except Minghao soon fills the silence.

“He seems to be happier lately.”

And it doesn't take much for Wonwoo to deduce he's talking about Mingyu. Minghao is clearly trying to have a conversation with him, pulling his weight a lot more than he is himself, yet he still can’t… speak. Words are no longer words in his mind, merely a jumble of all the different letters trying to find their home. The younger detects the uneasiness in the room, eventually putting his palette down and taking a seat on the stool by him. 

“Wonwoo, you don’t have to worry about me having another random outburst on you,” he softly chuckles, his hand covering his smile delicately, “I hope you aren’t actually scared of me.”

“I’m not,” Wonwoo answers all too quickly, but _is he?_

Minghao stares at him for quite some time, inquisitively, like Wonwoo’s been put under jurisdiction. 

“I understand that it might be a bit difficult to try and be friends given… well, you know. I mean a month ago I was trying to convince myself not to like you because I thought Jun liked you,” he sighs, his hands atop his knees, “but let’s just put that past us! I want to be friends.”

He understands the weight of the conversation. Obviously Minghao is someone of high importance to both Mingyu and Jun, two people he cares about significantly, so he really should be trying harder. Even beyond that reason, Minghao is someone he can see himself getting along with quite well. 

“Yeah,” he nods his head slowly, “me too.”

Minghao’s smile widens, “Good,” and his gaze returns to his work in progress, “And I wasn’t lying by the way, about Mingyu. He does seem a lot happier. I’m only assuming that has something to do with you. I mean, the man really won’t stop talking about you.”

Wonwoo can feel his face heating up at his words, “Really? What does he say?”

“Well, last night he kept saying something about you playing too much Overwatch.”

Oh God. He had been up until 2am playing the game, and Mingyu repeatedly kept texting him to go to sleep. Wonwoo had spent half the night giggling over Mingyu’s protests and half actually playing the game. 

“Amongst many other things… but I can’t just out him like that,” Minghao snickers, “all good things, though.”

“Oh. Okay. Okay. Good. I’m glad,” he says, his whole chest feeling elevated at the thought of Mingyu talking about him. 

It’s quiet momentarily as Minghao places the brush into a mason jar filled with water, swirling it around for a quick second. He then picks up another brush, thinner this time. He hums along to the faint music all while doing so and then proceeds with his painting. 

Wonwoo isn’t sure what compels him to say it, but it’s a thought that’s been sitting in the back of his throat, waiting to emerge, for some time now. He doesn’t think his conscious will ever rest easy if he doesn’t say it. 

“I really like him,” he tells him, clear and strong. It pulls Minghao’s attention away from the canvas, now looking at him with curious, questioning eyes. He takes a minute to respond. 

“I know,” he replies with a small chuckle and almost like there’s a question mark that should come after. 

Wonwoo begins to clarify, “You told me that a lot of people like Mingyu, and that it’s difficult to tell when someone really likes him for him. Well, I do. I know… I know I don’t have to justify my feelings to you, or to anyone, and even if I try, I wouldn’t be able to properly tell you what I feel. Or how it started. But I just want you to know that my intention is never to hurt Mingyu.”

Its then Minghao straightens up in his seat, face almost stoic until his brows pinch together. 

“To be quite honest, your intentions have never been unclear to me Wonwoo.”

He can’t say he hadn’t expected this. Minghao is a lot like him, a quiet observer, always picking up on subtle clues and hints about a person to better understand them, read them. If Minghao hadn’t overheard Wonwoo confessing that night at the fair, he doesn’t doubt he would’ve eventually picked it up himself anyway. 

Minghao continues, “ _But_ , that’s not to say I don’t appreciate you telling me directly like this. Mingyu is someone I care about and, I wasn’t able to give him what he wanted and I know that really…. I know I put him through quite a lot already.

Wonwoo skirts around the question for a bit, until his curiousity gets the best of him. 

“What exactly happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Minghao gives a look that implies he had been waiting for the question to pop. There’s a momentary pause before he puts his painting utensils down, then settles into the leather armchair across Wonwoo. He begins. 

“Earlier this year, Jun and I had broken up. I’m sure Jun’s told you all about that.”

Wonwoo nods yes.

“Right, so, I was basically a wreck. The first month or so, Jun and I didn’t speak to each other at all, nor did we hang out with the guys. Hangouts with all twelve of us stopped abruptly—if I knew he was going, I’d decide not to go, and vice versa. It lasted for quite some time. Given how much all of us hang out together, it was a noticeable difference to the dynamic. After a while, the guys eventually got us all together to celebrate graduation. I couldn’t _not_ show up to their ceremony after all. We got to talking and things were fine. We realized we were able to be in each other’s presence without it being awkward, or resulting in a fight. It was still painful though, even when we got back to being friends again. It’s hard being around the person you love and not being able to do anything about it,” he chuckles (Wonwoo starts biting his lip at the sentiment), “once Jun and I got to talking to each like normal, that’s when I started to realized something was up with Mingyu. I would always call him to tell him about anything and everything that happened with Jun—you know, that whole phase where you question any little thing the person you like says or does with you? And even though Jun and I were on good terms, I still had moments where I’d remember the breakup. So I’d call Mingyu, the mess I was, crying over how much I still love Jun and whatnot. What I didn’t know was Mingyu started to develop feelings for me then. We’ve always been close but… he told me that something along the way just changed for him.”

Wonwoo listens silently, absorbing all this new information. He remembers the time Mingyu had gotten stone cold from Minghao’s call, he remembers how he’d literally watched the man’s heart break right before him. Sitting through that then was... whew. Tough. 

“Mingyu kissed me one night. We were at his place and I was on the verge of tears thinking about Jun that night. So then he kissed me and told me he could make me forget about how much it hurt. I… I told him I couldn’t return his feelings, not with the way I felt about Jun. And he knew that, I think the hardest part for him was that he always knew. He was aware of what was happening, and he still wanted to help me. So he told me to forget about the kiss, to forget about his feelings and continue on as normal.”

_Damn._

Wonwoo’s lungs struggle to find air, because it’s _a lot_ to process if he’s being entirely honest. Minghao looks up to the ceiling, perhaps to stop his tears from escaping. 

“I feel so stupid, looking back on it now, because I did exactly that. I put all that behind us, didn’t bring it up for weeks. I continued to call him asking for help with Jun. I was so selfish, Wonwoo,” he sighs, letting another moment of silence pass before continuing, “Of course, Jun noticed what was happening. Before we got back together he suggested I talk to Gyu, as a sort of closure. So we talked it out, he was able to confess everything to me, and I apologized. It was a loooong talk, but definitely much needed. He told me he was doing better, that the feelings were going away. He might’ve been putting up a front then, but I can see it now.”

Wonwoo doesn’t know what to say, if there are even the right words _to say_ after being told all this. He’s gotten the last piece to a puzzle he’s been trying to solve for weeks now, the whole story has been connected in it’s entirety. 

“So that’s that. Him and I are good now, great. I am so grateful to have him in my life, even through everything. He’s a strong person.”

“You are, too.”

Minghao scoffs as if he can’t believe it, as if it’s words thrown into the air. He must not know Wonwoo is not the type of person to speak so carelessly. 

“I’m serious. To you, this may just seem like a story where you’ve hurt Mingyu. Which… yeah, you did, but you’ve owned up to that. It takes a lot to admit you’re wrong, truly. And even so, you’re not the same person you were after your breakup with Jun. Despite you getting back together, you have to agree that struggle you went through made you stronger, right? There’s always something to be learned once you’ve gotten your heart broken, as God awful it may be at the time.”

Minghao sits there, letting the words resonate, and then breaks out in a smile, “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right."

A beat of silence, and then he speaks up once more.

"Uh... thank you, for that.”

Wonwoo responds with a small smile. He likes this, it feels _comfortable_ , like this was a conversation Wonwoo needed to have in order for him to move forward with Minghao. The younger resumes painting, turning the music back up a tad louder. He asks Wonwoo for his opinion every few minutes, which color he recommends, which paint brush to use, until they hear the sound of the door unlocking. 

And then Jun’s familiar voice follows, “I’m so sorry I’m late!!”

Except he hasn’t come alone, there’s an extra set of footsteps behind his own. Wonwoo peers over and sees Mingyu. His head is bowed in what appears to be exhaustion, even yawing as so. He recounts the younger telling him last night he had work early in the morning. He must be beat. 

“Minghao didn’t keep you too bored, did he?” Jun asks him, flopping onto the couch next to Wonwoo and kicking his feet up on the coffee table. Though, poor Jun, all Wonwoo can keep his focus on his Mingyu, who has finally realized Wonwoo’s presence. His eyes widen at once, hurriedly fixing his hair and clothes.

“Uh, hey, Wonwoo, what are you-what are you doing here? We didn’t have plans did we?”

_God kill me, he’s so fucking cute_ Wonwoo’s brain is shrieking. Mingyu really has him in the palm of his hand at this point. 

“No,” he chuckles lowly, “I’m actually here for Jun.”

“Oh,” Mingyu responds, a tinge of sadness in his voice. Wonwoo begins to debate the repercussions of cancelling with Jun. 

“How long were you waiting here for by the way? Things got super busy at work and then I had to help Mingyu jump start his truck.”

Completely ignoring Jun’s question (Minghao catches this and snickers to Jun), he turns to Mingyu, “Battery died?”

He pouts, nodding his head, “I left the lights on in the car while I was at work.”

Minghao snorts, “Typical Gyu.”

“Like you haven’t done it before!” Mingyu protests, “I was so tired this morning I just forgot I guess.”

Wonwoo feels sorta guilty, was Mingyu tired from staying up all night talking to him? He had told the other to go to sleep several times by the time 1am rolled around, aware that he had an early morning. Mingyu could just be so stubborn at times.

“Maybe if you two stopped Snapchatting so late at night…” Minghao comments, quiet, with a tone of amusement. Wonwoo’s ears turn a light pink and Mingyu stutters around his words trying to respond. Luckily, Jun saves them from the awkward situation, tugging on Minghao’s hand to go and help him do the dishes in the kitchen.

Mingyu lets out a strained laugh once it's just the two of them, avoiding eye contact. 

“Sorry about Hao,” he says, bashful, “he has no filter at times.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I mean… he has a point? I feel bad about keeping you up so late."

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” he dismisses it with a wave, “I wanted to stay up late anyway. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”

A small smile escapes Wonwoo’s lips despite his worry, “Okay well, let’s both try and sleep early on weekdays then.”

“If you say so, Jeon Wonwoo,” Mingyu says with his signature bright grin on his face. The stars really don’t compare. 

An immeasurable amount of time passes as they talk in the living room, Mingyu telling him about his day mostly while Wonwoo listens and speaks only when necessary. He’d rather listen to Mingyu talk anyway. He has the tendency to overdramatize scenarios, using his hands as instruments to his storyelling. Wonwoo’s grown very fond of it. Grown to adore every small inflection in his voice, or the way he rushes his sentences because he wants to get to the next, and _especially_ when he calls Wonwoo by his name. Charming, really. In fact, he becomes so mesmerized with Mingyu and all that he is, that he momentarily forgets he has plans with Jun until said man is standing in front of him, keys dangling from his hand. 

“Oh. Right,” Wonwoo blinks, then turns to Mingyu, “sorry, I, uh—”

“It’s fine,” Mingyu chuckles, “I won’t keep you any longer.”

“Ugh, finally,” Jun groans jokingly, then musses Mingyu’s hair slightly before he moves to leave, “I’ll be in the car.”

Wonwoo nods, looking back at Mingyu, “You should eat dinner. And then sleep early.”

“Will it ease your conscious?” Mingyu teases, leaning in closer to Wonwoo just a tiny bit, a minuscule amount, but enough to make his heart rate pick up. 

“Yeah, actually, it will,” and then he gets up, the close proximity being too much for him, “so… I’ll see you—“

“Tomorrow,” the other declares without a single ounce of hesitation, standing up with Wonwoo, “I’ll come pick you up.”

Wonwoo stands there, a little dizzy from getting up so quickly, but mostly because Mingyu’s statement. And it’s a simple statement really, it certainly should not knock the wind out of him like it does, but I guess that’s the price he must pay for liking the other so goddamn much. 

“Is that okay?” Mingyu asks, because Wonwoo still hasn’t said anything to his proposal. 

“Yeah. Of course,” he replies, a bit too breathlessly because it’s still taking some time for him to get used to. The nervous gaze on Mingyu’s face is soon washed over at Wonwoo’s answer. 

“Okay,” he smiles again, smaller, “have fun with Jun then.”

He’s not sure if he’s allowed to say I’ll miss you, despite it being painfully true, so he merely thinks it instead as he smiles and waves bye. 

His chest aches from having to leave Mingyu. 

**

The next day comes far too quickly, more than Wonwoo had expected it to. Though he had spent all of yesterday wanting today to come, so he’s not really complaining. His nerves are buzzing everywhere inside his body, butterflies in full effect when Mingyu rings the doorbell. He does a double take at his reflection in the mirror, smoothing all the creases down on his oversized striped shirt (there’s a pile of shirts laying on the living room chaise that didn’t make the cut) and cuffed jean shorts, fixing the unruly chunks of his hair. He nearly trips on his way to the front door. If Mochi could laugh, surely she would right now.

Wonwoo never fails to be struck by Mingyu’s beauty every time he sees him, as if he’s seeing him for the first time over and over again. He seriously doesn’t understand how someone could be _so ridiculously good looking._ How did he know Wonwoo was a sucker for patterned button up tops? Not to mention how dangerously low he has buttoned his, _Jesus Christ_ , Wonwoo knows it’s warm outside but _the rudeness_ of this man. 

“Hey hot stuff,” Mingyu greets him with a wink, and Wonwoo is reminded of not only how ridiculous good looking he is, but ridiculously fucking embarrassing. He rolls his eyes at the comment. 

“You’re stupid,” his lips itch to grin at the other, but he has enough willpower to not give in. 

Mingyu doesn’t seem affected by his words in the slightest, in fact his smile only grows. 

“Alright Jeon Wonwoo! Get ready to have the best day of your summer!” He declares, voice so full and fun and _excited_ for whatever he has in store.

“Is that so?” Wonwoo challenges him, lifting a brow, “you seem pretty confident about that.”

“Yes,” he firmly nods, “it’s my mission today to make you the happiest you’ve ever been.”

“Well,” Wonwoo steps outside, closing the door behind him, “you’re already doing a pretty good job if you ask me.”

He locks the door, and when he turns around to catch a glimpse of Mingyu’s face, his eyes are glowing. His impish grin transforms to something more gentle, more tender and personal. 

It’s not faring well for the butterflies in his stomach. Not one bit. 

**

During the car ride, Wonwoo comes to learn that he has a lot to say around Mingyu. There’s a specific part of his brain that is reserved for things he wants to tell the other, no matter how random, or ordinary, the topic may be. 

“… and though there are 20,000 species of bees, only the honey bee actually makes honey,” he finishes up, looking out the window at the vibrant blue sky. The clouds have cleared up since the morning.

“Wow,” Mingyu blinks, a chuckle escaping his lips as he finally removes the key from ignition, “you know a lot about bees. You know a lot about _a lot_ , actually.”

Wonwoo accepts the praise—he really does like to learn, it boils down to all the reading he immerses himself into. He only notices that they’ve arrived once Mingyu unbuckles his seatbelt. The fifteen minute car ride felt more like thirty seconds; Wonwoo hopes this pattern doesn’t continue for the rest of the day. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble,” he apologizes once they’re out of the car, “I hadn’t realized.”

Mingyu nudges his elbow assuringly, “Don’t apologize. I could listen to you talk all day long.”

Today, Wonwoo concludes, will be dangerous to his poor heart. He bites his lip, attempting to hide how much Mingyu affects him but it’s probably too late for that, isn’t it? 

Side by side, they walk towards a large blue building until Wonwoo sees clearly where they are, apparent with the gigantic poster board of a whale. A small gasp follows shortly after, and then he’s bouncing on the heels of his feet like a little kid. 

“An aquarium!” With sparkles in his eyes, he cracks the widest grin his lips could possibly grant.The look on his face closely remembers that of a child marveling at their first firework show. Mingyu seems to feed off his enthusiasm, returning his grins as he hands him his ticket. When it’s in Wonwoo’s hands, he holds it as if it’s his most prized possession. He really wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted this to be the best day of Wonwoo’s summer. 

They scurry inside to avoid the stifling heat, making the air too thick and stuffy to even think. It’s a Wednesday, so it isn’t too packed, but Mingyu still has a hard time maneuvering between swarms of jumpy children by the entrance. Wonwoo merely giggles watching the scene unfold before him. Once they enter, they’re met with entrancing cool, rich blues that set a rather tranquilambiance. Wonwoo dubs it the perfect blend of Alice in Wonderland in underwater. Mingyu wastes no time in pulling his Canon out, already beginning to take pictures despite not actually seeing any of the sea creatures yet. 

Wonwoo does little to hide his excitement, he’s a tidal wave of joy. There should be more words in his vernacular besides “Oh my God”, but it’s all his brain can manage to think while being immersed in his surroundings. Today is already too good to be true. 

“Where do you wanna start?” He adjusts his glasses perched on his nose bridge to properly read the map he was handed by the front desk. There was so much to see, and he wanted to see it all.

“Wherever you want,” Mingyu answers, lowering his camera to meet his gaze. 

Wonwoo’s soul is filled to the brim with so much joy and anticipation and he really just wants to hug Mingyu. He looks back at the map instead. 

“Okay, let’s go left,” he says, “it’ll wrap around the whole place and we’ll wind up back here.”

“Sounds perfect,” Mingyu nods, and for a split second it looks at though he reaches to take Wonwoo’s hand. He doesn’t, though, and Wonwoo has to keep reminding himself to give Mingyu as much space and time he needs, to let him go at his own pace. He’ll always be here after all. 

They walk through a wide tunnel with an acrylic ceiling that showcases the most spectacular, dazzling view of the ocean Wonwoo could ever witness. “… a special view of the sea,” a robot lady’s calming voice describes it through the speakers attached in the corners of the room. All eyes are glued to the walls, watching the various sized fish swim right above their heads, or at eye level. They gaze in amazement at the rainbow flurry of creatures that glide in front of their own eyes. There’s plenty of kids to voice out their sound effects, though Mingyu decides to join in with them. He also records on his camera fastened to his wrist, though at times it feels as if Wonwoo is the center of attention of his videography more than the fish. 

“They’re glowing,” Wonwoo points out a school of fish of a neon blue and white stripes, moving so quickly it looks as though they illuminate light. He snaps several pictures of them before moving forward to the next exhibit to see. 

The massive tanks expand from the high ceilings to the ground, giving the illusion that they’re actually under the ocean. It’s quite magical really, Wonwoo happily jumps from creature to creature, giving each it’s desired attention. He reads all the placards for the different fish, relaying all the information back to Mingyu who eagerly listens.

“This is the Mantis Shrimp,” he tells Mingyu, “it says here they’re very shy. Researchers don’t know much about these species because they tend to hide in holes and remain there for a long period of time.”

Wonwoo pauses for a moment, staring at the fish, “Well that’s relatable.”

Mingyu doubles over into laughter, playfully smacking Wonwoo’s shoulder at his joke. The sound of his laugh rings throughout every crevice in Wonwoo’s body, because _wow_ that is the most beautiful noise known to man. 

They spend the rest of the afternoon like this, wafting from room to room and learning an abundant amount of information of various aquatic animals. Wonwoo never strays far from Mingyu, and vice versa, anywhere one goes, so does the other. Like magnets being pulled to one another. Mingyu is insistent on going to what’s called the “touch pool”—a shallow water tank where visitors can touch creatures like starfish and sea cucumbers. He squeals adorably at the feel of them, and Wonwoo can’t stop his incessant giggles as he gets it all on video. Then, they go through tanks of the coral reefs, captivated by the different scenes they’ve mimicked. The colorful, diverse spectrum of animal and plant life is arranged in a way reminiscent of paintings in an art museum. It’s marvelous, alluring—they two boys easily become lost in the marine universe. 

Wonwoo kept to himself that at times, he had a trouble focusing on the exhibits when Mingyu was _right there_ , talking to the animals, providing entertaining commentary, and just being so… _him._

“Jellyfish!” Mingyu exclaims, flashing all his perfect teeth in Wonwoo’s direction. He grabsWonwoo’s wrist and makes a run for the jellyfish exhibit, though a guard stops to tell them not to run inside. They nod compliantly, but when he stomps away they start giggling to themselves like mischievous five year olds. Something about being with Mingyu always makes Wonwoo feel like he’s a little boy again, running around the playground, building forts, and swinging high on the swing sets, without a care in he world. They were singing Under the Sea for God’s sake, Wonwoo can’t imagine doing that with anyone else. Mingyu’s got him under some spell, obviously. 

They take a stop at the cafe located on the second floor once lunch time hits. Surrounding the walls are tanks of manta rays, whale sharks, and varying tiny, shimmering creatures. 

“I love this place,” Wonwoo says to Mingyu when he comes back with their food—Alfredo pasta and apple juice for him, a hot dog and coffee for Mingyu (he snickers at the odd combo). 

“I’m glad,” Mingyu beams, sipping from his iced coffee, “I’m having a lot of fun, too. Honestly, that whole week we weren’t talking killed me because I really wanted to show you this place."

There Wonwoo’s heart goes again. Just about everything Mingyu has done and said today has sent little arrows straight to his heart—he could probably pick out more than a handful of them by now _and_ the day wasn’t even over yet. The worst was every time Mingyu decided to _talk_ to the little creatures. It was all too endearing and all too detrimental to his emotions. 

He simply smiles at the other, dipping his fork into his ceramic plate to eat his pasta. They sit in this blue fantasy world, eating peaceful and content. Every now and the, one will make a comment about all the differing species they’ve encountered—Mingyu’s favorite is the immortal jellyfish, whereas Wonwoo is stuck between the pygmy seahorse and dumbo octopus.

Mingyu licks some ketchup off his thumb and laughs (that wondrous sound Wonwoo will never grow tired of) when he remembers the little boy who thought the shark was going to break through the glass in the Shark Lab. 

“I don’t blame him! At that age, I probably would’ve thought the same,” Mingyu remarks, and Wonwoo snorts. Of course he would be that kid. 

Mingyu looks at him with an unwavering smile, warmth pooling in his auburn eyes. Their legs bump against each other underneath the table for the fifth time, though neither bother to pull away. 

He snaps out of his daze once he sees Mingyu pointing his camera directly at him. With a quick click of a button, he’s taken a photo of a rather unprepared Wonwoo. 

“What was that for?” 

“Oh, you know,” Mingyu responds in a playful shrug, then looks at the photo he’s captured. 

He makes a loud gasping noise, clutching his chest, “Wow, how are you so attractive, Jeon Wonwoo?”

He’s a dork, he really is. And how does he just _say things like that_? If Wonwoo had something soft to throw square in his face right now, he would. Consider Mingyu lucky. 

“I’m serious,” he urges when the older rolls his eyes. It seems to be his body’s only defense mechanism when Mingyu decides to be flirty. 

“Right, coming from you,” he mumbles, not missing the smile that flickers across Mingyu’s features when he peers up at him. His hands feel tingly. 

He clears his throat, looking away. 

“Let’s go look at the manta ray,” he says rather abruptly, once he realizes they’re both done eating. He makes a bee line for the tank, keeping his eyes focused on the baby manta ray freely swimming about that he hardly hears when Mingyu approaches him. The watch in awed silence, taking in the spectacle before them. Wonwoo had always had a profound interest in aquatic animals, it was one of the reasons he enjoyed being so close to the water. How Mingyu had any inkling of that is beyond him, he can’t ever recall telling this to the younger.

He raises a brow. 

When he looks up at Mingyu, he can see the way his eyes practically sparkle, reflecting the cerulean hues of the water. 

“How did you know I’d like the aquarium?” He continues, “did Soonyoung give you a pro-tip or something?”

Their eyes meet, and the tingling sensation occurring in the tip of Wonwoo’s fingers have heightened tenfolds. Mingyu just looks so… calm. Beautiful and serene. He’s said it before, and he’ll say it again, but blue really does look stunning on him.

“Wild guess,” Mingyu’s lips quirk, a spirit in his eyes, and there’s something _there_ , resting in between his words. Before they know it, a group of eager, bubbling kids soon crowd them to look at the whale shark putting on a show before them, unbeknownst to either of them. The children put a considerable distance between the two, to which Mingyu only barks in laughter and shrugs. 

Wonwoo can only smile. 

**

There’s only a few rooms left until they’ve seen everything the aquarium has to offer, and with each step Wonwoo takes, he feels his frown forming. 

“Wow, that’s insane! More than 80% of the ocean hasn’t been explored yet,” Mingyu reads the fact off the brochure, “can you believe that?”

Wonwoo crumbles instantly at the amused, shocked look on Mingyu’s face; eyes lit and all. He also couldn’t take him seriously with the sea lion nose he had bought at the gift shop, the whiskers extending past his face. Wonwoo could almost squish him. He, too, had bought a couple souvenirs at the shop—an encyclopedia on sharks and a sea horse mug—which were currently in the bag Mingyu had insisted on holding. 

“This is the last one,” Wonwoo notes before walking through the entrance of the Penguin Corner. Mingyu sulks at that, and then suddenly Wonwoo’s hand feels the warmth of Mingyu’s.

“We shall make the most of it then,” Mingyu says with a nod, now interlocking their hands together. It’s something so small so seemingly insignificant, but it sends chills throughout Wonwoo’s body. He begins to wonder who he was before his hand ever met Mingyu’s own.

“This way kids won’t step in between us,” he explains without a beat of hesitation, clutching on _just a tad_ tighter, as if he needs to justify why he held Wonwoo’s hand (he really doesn’t). 

They peruse the last room with matching smiles and just as much excitement as when they had arrived—Wonwoo has a laugh when Mingyu decides it’d be a good idea to imitate the penguins. And even when he had pulled his hand away to do so, it still naturally gravitates back to Wonwoo’s. Like it’s where it belongs. 

“Thank you for your visit,” the same robot voice concludes for them once they’ve made it to the end of the tour, “please come again!”

“Wow,” Wonwoo is still in a state of wonderment, even as they walk out the doors back into Mingyu’s truck. 

“I know.”

“But like… _wow._ ”

Mingyu chortles, “ _I know_.”

Wonwoo wants to thank the other, he’s not even sure if the words itself would do any justice for the amount of gratitude he has right now. Sure, Wonwoo’s been on dates before. Some successful, some not so much, but nothing comparable to this. He doesn’t doubt he’ll be replaying the events of today later, getting giddy over all the little details. Mingyu is starting up his car (aircon first and foremost); Wonwoo’s eyes flit across his face, studies him. He sees the boy he met when he was young, sees how Mingyu, in all honesty, really hasn’t changed (despite the fact puberty hit him like a truck, not that he wasn’t already born good looking anyway). 

“Today felt like… like a vacation from life. I wish all my days were like this,” Mingyu says with a gentle sweetness, eyes glazed in gold, “thank you.”

Wonwoo’s mouth opens in shock, shaking his head immediately, “Why are you thanking me? You’re the one who brought me here.”

The other shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck shyly, “Yeah, but… like, I wouldn’t have come here if it weren’t for you, y’know?” 

That does it. Wonwoo’s soaring. He’s up there floating amongst the stars and the planets and galaxies, twinkling at him. He’s not sure when he’ll ever come back down. 

“Thank you Mingyu,” he earnestly tells the other, voice soft like flower petals and a smile lingering on his face. 

It’s only been three hours since they’ve been together, three oh-so-short hours. If he could maximize the amount of alone time he has with Mingyu, he would in a heartbeat. But he can’t be selfish. All the guys are heading for a barbecue hosted by Seungcheol, a gathering both Wonwoo and Mingyu had confirmed they’d be attending (Soonyoung would give him so much shit if he flaked on barbecue night). 

When Mingyu slowly dances his fingers closer to his own, reaching for his hand, he’s shyer than before in the aquarium. Maybe because it’s in the confines of just the two of them, in their own world. Wonwoo gulps, watching the way his own hand opens up to him, _he_ opens up to him, and it’s every bit intimate as it is cheesy. He can feel the ruckus the nerves in his body are having as they familiarize themselves with Mingyu’s touch. 

The barbecue is far from his mind, and surely far from Mingyu’s as well. 

“I wanna just rest for a bit,” his voice rumbles softly, quiet as his eyelids flutter shut. He shifts and sprawls himself out as much as the limited car space will allow, his limbs loosening and a tired sigh falling from his lips. Wonwoo caresses his thumb against the back of Mingyu’s hands, nodding an “okay”. 

While Mingyu rests with the sun bathing on his skin, Wonwoo thinks. Because… well, yeah he enjoyed the aquarium immensely, the best day of his summer hands down. But experiencing it with Mingyu, _with him of all people_ , made it infinitely more times enchanting, some reverie he feels like he’s eventually going to snap out of. Except Mingyu keeps constantly reminding him that this is real, this is happening, that he’s here. 

Wonwoo’s eyes trace Mingyu’s sleeping figure, watches the rise and fall of his chest while he soundly naps. He twitches in his slumber, and all Wonwoo wants to do is pull him close.

It’s right when the sunlight catches on Mingyu’s eyelashes that Wonwoo thinks he might be in love with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLLOOOO EVERYONE!!  
> i hope you enjoyed the latest installment of sea of sand! again, thank you all for your love and support for the story, it really means a lot to my poor old heart.
> 
> P.S I LOVE THIS COMEBACK SO MUCH?? like... the whole concept reminds me so much of the vision i had when starting sea of sand which is crazy to me??


	16. the lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo and Mingyu go to a festival.

Golden hour is approaching when Mingyu and Wonwoo arrive for the barbecue. 

They climb the stairs to the rooftop of Seungcheol’s apartment building, soft giggles over things only the two of them would understand echo inside the staircase. The hum of voices leaking from the cracked door grows louder and louder until they finally make it to the top. Amongst their friends, Seungcheol has also invited a considerable number of other acquaintances, making it a rather large gathering. No one makes a comment of Mingyu and Wonwoo arriving together, though Wonwoo catches the smile Minghao gives Mingyu when he notices their appearance.

The terrace looks cozy when filled with the presence of the groups of people. There’s candles and lights and patio furniture that resembles summer decorating the space, most of the seats already occupied with guests eating, drinking, and friendly chatting amongst each other. Vernon and Jun are throwing a beach ball back and forth, playing that treacherous game where it can’t touch the ground, until Minghao jokingly smacks it down. Jeonghan and Seokmin find it absolutely hilarious, both laughing over the shocked look on Vernon and Jun’s face once the ball meets the floor.

So overall, it’s a typical summer day amongst the boys. 

“Hey guys, have some burgers!” Seungcheol calls them over, handing his spatula to Chan to grab some paper plates for the duo. 

“Oh God,” Wonwoo groans, then whispers closer to Mingyu, “I really don’t think I can eat anymore.” His stomach’s still stuffed with today’s lunch and the green tea ice cream they had stopped for on the way here; if he fed his stomach anything else, he’s sure he’d explode. Or, more realistically, gain ten pounds. 

“You can’t say no to Seungcheol,” Mingyu tells him, “he won’t take it for an answer.”

Wonwoo groans a second time, clutching onto his bloated stomach for added measure. 

Mingyu continues, "But consider yourself lucky, because I, Kim Mingyu, can eat your food for you!”

“And I, Jeon Wonwoo, have a serious question: _Is your stomach a bottomless pit_?”

“A ‘thank you Mingyu’ would’ve sufficed, too,” he retorts, smile splaying on his face as he nudges him with his elbow. 

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, but Mingyu still catches a slight twinkle there that reminds him of how irresistible he truly is in the face of Mingyu. Screw him. 

“‘Sup boys!” Seungcheol welcomes them with a wide grin and paper plates to their hands, “a little late, but _I guess_ I can let it slide. How was your date?”

Wonwoo freezes at the ‘d’ word. And from a table several yards away from them, Jeonghan quips, “I told you not to say ‘date’ you idio—!”

“Okay, _not date_ ,” he immediately corrects himself, not that it changes that it was said, or changes the way Wonwoo’s stomach churns in a weird way. I mean, technically, it was a date, Mingyu himself had called it a date, but being _reminded that it was a date_? And hearing it from someone else? His thoughts go into a swirling rampage that he nearly forgets to respond, though Mingyu seems to have it covered.

“We had fun!” the younger answers, so unfazed to the whole situation, “We got to see all kinds of creatures, look at different habitats. Right, Wonwoo?”

The older clears his throat, looking away from Mingyu’s blinding grin, “Y-yeah, it was really nice.”

Seungcheol looks content at that with a nod of his head and barely there smile, “Good, good. Well, here, let me fix you up some burgers. I won’t take no for answer!”

Mingyu snickers and Wonwoo lightly kicks his ankle. 

At some point of the barbecue, they end up splitting—Wonwoo ends up jumping between conversation to conversation amongst various groups while Mingyu takes over Chan’s job at the grill. Soonyoung is entertaining a large crowd of people with some freestyle dancing (he’s definitely had a couple glasses of champagne), which is the main event up until Seungkwan makes Joshua bring out his guitar from his car and sing whatever acoustic song he can think of. Some people that had heard about Wonwoo studying out in the city approach him to ask what that was like, and Wonwoo soon comes to find that Jeonghan had studied in a school in the city as well, not too far from his. And amidst all the conversations and eating and drinking, Wonwoo’s eyes drift towards Mingyu. He’s far too focused drizzling olive oil onto the vegetables, or watching the meat sizzle into perfection, or maybe even talking up some of the guests. He has a grin so wide Wonwoo begins to wonder if his cheeks hurts. However, every now and then Mingyu will spare him a glance and they both smile at each other. It reminds them both of the other’s presence, and for Wonwoo, it gives him a comforting sense of relief. 

“Sneaky glances, how romantic,” Jihoon mutters quietly when he passes by Wonwoo, snickering when he sees the raven haired turn pink. 

The sun eventually sinks behind the ocean, until the sky is filled with a wild gradient of violets and blues and the air is chill and fresh and Wonwoo’s cheeks are rosy. The high energy that was buzzing when he first arrived now simmered down into a more relaxed space, now that the rosé bottles were emptied and finished plates pushed to the center of the tables. Jun begins to light the candles to ward off summer bugs and the outdoor lamps flicker on soon after. 

“Oh, that _is_ tomorrow!” Wonwoo hears Seokmin’s exclamation at the other end of the wooden table, and it seems to spark a chain reaction amongst everyone seated around them. 

“Did you buy yours already?” 

“Shit, we have to buy ours.”

“What time does it start again?”

Wonwoo blinks in confusion listening to everyone around him, stopping his hand from dipping his chip into homemade hummus Joshua brought (his stomach now able to handle light snacking). 

“What’s happening tomorrow?” He asks the nearest person to him, Seungkwan in this case. 

The younger gasps, “You don’t know? The Lights Fest is tomorrow!”

“The _what_?” 

He feels a hand rest on his shoulder, and then Soonyoung is propping down right next to him on the bench.

“What are we talking about?” He asks while handing a water bottle to Wonwoo, already beginning to open his own. 

“You didn’t tell him about the festival?” Seungkwan says in disbelief, proceeding to nibble on fresh strawberries. 

“Oh _shit_ ,” Soonyoung smacks his forehead with the palm of his hand, “I totally forgot about that—Jihoon and I still have to customize our lantern.”

Wonwoo raises his eyebrows, “Lantern?”

“It’s a floating lantern festival,” Seungkwan explains to him, eyes elated and excited at the mere thought, “we all go to the beach and release our lanterns up into the sky! Some people like to write or draw things onto their lantern. It’s a pretty new thing the town started, I think it began only five or so years ago.”

“It’s most wonderful sight ever,” Soonyoung sighs dreamily, then turns to his friend, “Jihoon and I are going together, but you can come with us!"

Someone Wonwoo doesn’t recognize snickers when she hears that, flicking her tawny brown hair away from her face, “Oh c’mon Soonyoung, everyone knows you go there as couples.”

“Well you don’t _have_ to,” Seungkwan objects, “plenty of people go with friends—we all went together last year!”

The girl simply shrugs in response, moving on to another group of people. 

Wonwoo can’t help but peer over at Mingyu, who is helping Seungcheol, Chan, and Jun with packing up the leftover food and throwing away any trash. 

“Well, you _could_ ask him, too,” Soonyoung says quietly, catching where Wonwoo’s gaze lies.

His revelation from earlier in the car still hasn’t escaped his mind. Because, well… is he in love with Mingyu? The thought had come to him so suddenly, so fleeting, and he hadn’t really had much time since to ponder on it. He thinks about every book he’s read, every narrative he’s delved into about romance and love and what it means, how it happens, what it feels like. But how could he possibly apply that to this? All the books in the world wouldn’t be able to explain to him what love is. 

Was it too soon to be feeling this way? Was he allowed to feel this way? They had barely confessed to each other that they had feelings, as vaguely put at that. Wasn’t it supposed to scare him, that he felt like this? What if he scared Mingyu off? All these questions come to mind, infiltrating his mind without his permission, all because he just about _thinks_ he feels something that _could potentially_ be love. 

There’s a gaping space in Wonwoo’s soul telling him to make the leap, but he wavers hesitantly. Maybe it doesn’t have to be today. 

“You should definitely go, who cares with who,” Seungkwan says, tearing him away from his thoughts, “you wouldn’t wanna miss out on it.”

“It sounds amazing,” Wonwoo finally speaks up, “where do I buy a lantern?”

**

When Wonwoo refreshes his Instagram feed the next afternoon, he is flooded with story updates of his friends decorating their lanterns. Each have their own personal flair, Jun captures Minghao painting elaborate details and designs onto theirs; Vernon and Seungkwan take a colored pencil approach, doodling every inch of theirs with cartoon-like drawings; and so on and so forth.

Wonwoo juts his lip out into a pout and sets his chai tea down. He opens his messages with Mingyu. They’d been talking all day back and forth, but the festival hadn’t been mentioned once by either of them. Which… is odd. There’s no way Mingyu doesn’t know about it, the entire town population is preparing for it. Even Wonwoo’s aunt had called him the night before and told him she had arts and crafts in the shoe closet he could use for personalizing his lantern, should he choose to do so. 

He tries (key word, _tries_ ) not to think too much of it and throws his phone onto the couch where it then gets wedged into between the two cushions. After all, there’s always been some sort of serendipitous feeling to having free time, so why should he waste it dwelling, overthinking? So what if Mingyu hadn’t reached out to him about the festival? He would still be going with Soonyoung and Jihoon despite it, and there’s nothing wrong with spending it with your best friend. And your best friend’s boyfriend. 

He exhales shortly. 

Wonwoo lets the clock tick and tick and tick while he switches between idly watching whatever plays on TV, playing different games on his Nintendo 3DS, eating chopped up honeydew melon from a bowl, and certainly _not_ thinking about the blank lantern sitting in his kitchen table. Eventually he dozes off into a nap, Mochi rested right at the edge of the couch near his feet, and doesn’t wake up until around 6pm. 

His eyes are only just adjusting to the light when he barely makes out the time on the clock. When he sees how late it’s gotten, he jumps up as quick as ready bread from the toaster, and frenzies to get the blanket off him. Mochi meows at him and prances off to lay elsewhere.

“Shit,” Wonwoo mutters. He fishes for his phone now deep inside the couch, and when the screen flashes on, he has three texts from Jun and two from Mingyu. Naturally, he opens Mingyu’s first. Hope flits through Wonwoo’s eyes, _maybe this is it_ , but when he sees his message, Mingyu is only picking up the conversation from where they last left off. 

**Peanut butter cookies = underappreciated! And chocolate chip cookies are overhyped, you can’t change my mind**

And then another hour or so after that:

**Where did u go :(**

Guilt washes over him, especially once he sees the sad emoji. He hates that he has the tendency to not respond for hours at times. Quickly, he sends Mingyu a text telling him he’d dozed off into a nap, proceeds to defend chocolate chip cookies, and then he opens Jun’s message. 

**Where are you?**

**Dude**

**Soonyoung and Jihoon are here already ??**

The last message makes Wonwoo feet come up off the couch, now planted on the ground, and he’s hunching over his phone, reading the message over and over again because… _what_.

He calls Soonyoung instead of responding to Jun, but by the time it gets to the third ring, he knows Soonyoung isn’t picking up. Soonyoung hardly lets his phone ring twice before he answers the phone, unless he’s sleeping, but that was unlikely at this time of day. So he calls Jihoon instead. 

“Hey Wonwoo,” Jihoon answers, voice nonchalant and casual, “what’s up?”

There are indistinct, hushed voices on the other line, Wonwoo can sort of make out Seokmin talking, but he doesn’t hear Soonyoung. 

“Hey, um, is Soonyoung there?”

“He’s in the bathroom. Did you need him or something? When are you getting here by the way? Just about everyone is here already.”

“Well, last I heard from Soonyoung, I was going with you guys.”

There’a a pause on the other line, and Wonwoo swears he’s on mute because now he can’t hear anything. 

“… Jihoon?”

“Wonwoo!” Soonyoung voice suddenly comes through the line, sounding like he’s done absolutely nothing wrong. 

“What the hell Soonyoung, you told me I’d go with you guys. Why didn’t you tell me when you were leaving?” Despite his words and the context, Wonwoo’s voice doesn’t rise in the slightest. He knows that the calmness in his tone makes his demeanor in this situation even more intimidating. 

To which the other simply _laughs_. He laughs. 

“Sorry Wonwoo, things just sorta happened and—”

The phone appears to be snatched from Soonyoung’s hands, he can hear his friend whining at that, and then the ruffling from the other end stops. 

“Hi Wonwoo, this is Minghao.”

“Minghao? What the hell is—“

“I heard you bought a lantern last night?”

Wonwoo’s eyebrows knit together, “Uh… yeah? Because I thought I was going with—“

“Screw whatever you thought,” he cuts him off, “A certain someone is waiting for you, a certain someone who, should I mention, is still at home,” he pauses shortly and then, “It’s one thing to tell someone you like them, it’s another to show them.”

Then Minghao hangs up abruptly.

Wonwoo is left staring at his phone, dumbfounded. It takes him a minute, given that he’s only just woken up, but… had his friends purposely left him behind? To ask Mingyu out? He clicks his tongue, looking down at his messages with Mingyu. The sun hadn’t even begun to set, apparent with the bright light still spilling through the curtains, but if he dilly-dallied any longer in classic Wonwoo fashion, it would already be night time. 

Wonwoo hurriedly changes into a decent button up and jeans, slipping into his Adidas sneakers in a manner so rushed that only the balls of his feet make it into the shoes, and rushes out the door. 

**

Wonwoo knocks on the door of Mingyu’s apartment as soon as he rounds the corner (he knows if he doesn’t just do it then and there, he’ll end up sitting in his car overthinking it). He hadn’t given any warning or preface to the younger man whatsoever, so he’s not surprised that Mingyu looks so caught off guard when he swings the door open.

He’s cradling a bowl of what appears to be cookie dough in one arm with a wooden spoon in his hand. He’s clad in lounge clothes, an oversized white shirt, training shorts, and glasses? Wonwoo didn’t know he wore glasses. Now is not the time for his knees to feel weak at the sight of Mingyu in glasses, but there his body goes, acting on it’s own accord. There’s reruns of Cake Boss playing on the TV, but Wonwoo can hardly pay attention to that now (though he loves Cake Boss). 

“Hello,” Mingyu says, having to clear his throat like he hadn’t been talking all day, and there’s a glint in his eyes that looks despondent, sad almost. It sends a cold ache to his heart. 

_Shit_ Wonwoo thinks. 

“Uh, hi,” he speaks, examining the bowl of cookie dough, then looks back at Mingyu, “you’re making chocolate chip cookies?”

“Yeah well, you seem to like them so much so I wanted to try my hand at making them,” he leaves the door open while he returns to the kitchen, “how was your nap?”

Wow that is… really fucking cute. Wonwoo’s heart winces at how fucking cute that is. But now isalso not the appropriate time to ponder about the cuteness that Mingyu exudes. Wonwoo takes a deep breath and follows him inside. Mingyu is beginning to place portions of the dough onto the cookie sheet when Wonwoo comes to his side, leaning against the kitchen island facing him. 

“Mingyu,” his voice is quiet and tender, trying to draw Mingyu’s attention away from baking. 

But the man doesn’t budge, continuing to place equal distance between the chunks of cookie dough onto the baking sheet. Wonwoo is even lucky that he responds with a small, “Hmm?”, allowing him to continue. 

Wonwoo sighs, tilting his head so Mingyu is forced to meet him directly eye-to-eye. 

“Wonwoo, what are you doing?” Mingyu asks, his shoulders slumping. 

“Uh, so I’m not really good at… this,” Wonwoo begins. He lets out a breath and relaxes his tense muscles. It’s not that it’s particularly hard for Wonwoo to apologize, it’s just… hard that it’s Mingyu that’s upset with him. It’s the last thing he’d ever want in this entire world, yet somehow he’s managed to do it. 

“What do you—?”

“I’m an idiot, and should’ve asked you sooner. But… there’s this pretty cool festival thing going on right now,” when he peers up at the taller, he can see his lips twitching into a smile at the mention of it, “I’m sure you’ve heard of it.”

“I have,” Mingyu folds his arms across his chest, “and what about it?”

“Well… I bought a lantern.”

“So I heard.”

“And I guess, I was just wondering, if you wanted to go with me? To that really cool… festival… thing,” he bites his lip, hoping he fared somewhat well asking the younger out. He figures he must’ve, once Mingyu starts grinning and his focus is no longer on baking a dozen cookies, but on Wonwoo instead. 

“I’m sorry I waited so long, really, really sorry. I had assumed you were gonna ask me, but you’ve always initiated things and… yeah. So if you’re upset with me, I get it, like I said, I’m an idiot,” he babbles, “but I really wanna go with you to this so please forgive me?”

Mingyu has a contemplative look on his face, then softens, “Wonwoo, I’m not… I’m not upset. Well, at least not _that_ upset. And I don’t want you to think this is an issue of switching between who asks who out. I guess I just… needed some sort of confirmation that you want to… I dunno, stick around me? I wouldn’t have hated you if you didn’t invite me, that’d be childish. But I was hurt when I found out you bought a lantern and hadn’t asked me,” he pouts, “for a second, I was worried that you got tired of me.”

“As if I could ever be tired of you,” Wonwoo mumbles, just loud enough for the other to hear. 

He blames no one but himself for not being more aware of this. Of course Mingyu can’t read the thoughts happening inside his brain, can’t possibly know how much Wonwoo thinks about him, wants to spend every hour of the day with him—his brain is damn close to a puddle every time he thinks of Mingyu (he swears he’s not obsessed). And from what it seems, Mingyu is very wary about his heart, and who he gives it out to; he’s very cautious about it and the fact that he’s even opening up to Wonwoo is more than he could ever ask for. So he needs to do this right, to show him how much he cares. Words, as much as Wonwoo loves them, can only do so much if not paired with action. 

He silently thanks Minghao for making him more aware of that. 

“So, you wanna continue baking cookies or shall we go to the festival?”

**

Wonwoo’s heart pounds when they arrive to the beach. For all the good reasons, of course, because having Mingyu by his side is his one-way ticket to happiness, especially when the younger has that giddy look on his face. He turns down the volume of the music in his car so the only sound is the crackle of his car tires meeting gravel, and their voices, talking to each other aimlessly. 

“So, how come you didn’t just go with the other guys? Jun told me everyone else was here,” Wonwoo questions him as he’s parking his car, _finally_ , because it had taken them fifteen minutes to find a spot. It involved circling the perimeter about one hundred times until Mingyu had miraculously spotted a family leaving their car placed wonderfully right in front of the beach. The boys weren’t kidding when they said he has a knack for finding parking spots. 

“I wouldn’t really wanna go unless it weren’t with you,” Mingyu tells him. And Wonwoo’s heart starts pounding two times harder. Or maybe four times harder. 

There’s live music and games and food and all sorts of activities happening on the normally vacant beach this evening. It’s lively and vibrant, a stark difference from the last time they were here playing beach volleyball. A long row of tents are set up down a strip of the beach, Mingyu explains to him that some families come in the noon and make a whole day out of the event that usually includes a full blown picnic. Apparently last year, the twelve of them had done something similar. It’s quite heartening to see the community all gathering for this single event. There’s more people here than there are people who actually live in this small town, Wonwoo thinks, meaning some must have have traveled just to be here. 

“Should we find the other guys?” Mingyu asks, already beginning to scan the area to find any of their friends, surely scattered around the beach. 

It would be too difficult to spot them with the huge crowds of people everywhere they turn. And yeah, they were all just a quick phone call away, but Wonwoo shrugs it off. 

“We’ll never find them,” he says unconcerned. Mingyu looks at him, and his eyes are smiling more than his lips are and Wonwoo literally has to remind himself to breathe. Not to mention how adorable he looks wrapped snugly around Wonwoo’s bright patterned beach blanket he had brought for a “just in case” measure. Mingyu had left the apartment in a tank and shorts, which weren’t holding up against the breeze of the evening. 

So they walk around, just the two of them, stopping to watch whichever performers catch their eye—they both easily become mesmerized by a guy playing with fire—and Wonwoo tries not lose Mingyu amongst the masses and masses of people. He does this by glueing his eyes to the boy, and okay, maybe it was his mind’s way of excusing his inability to keep his eyes off him. But Mingyu doesn’t need to know that. 

In between strolling around and picking up various street foods to munch on, Mingyu stops in the middle of his tracks, staring ahead like a meteor had just landed in front of them. Puzzled at first, Wonwoo starts with a question hanging off his tongue, but then he catches what Mingyu is so deeply focused on.

Not too far from them are two kids, one young boy and and even younger girl. Next to them is who Wonwoo presumes to be is their dad. Wonwoo instantly recalls Mingyu telling him of his own father’s passing when he was young. 

He crumbles thinking about whatever is going on in Mingyu’s head right now. 

“Hey,” he says in a low voice, “you okay?”

Mingyu blinks a couple times, and then he’s looking back at Wonwoo, a sad smile on his face when he nods. 

“I’m fine. Really. It’s just,” and then he swallows, because the weight of this conversation sits heavy in the back of his throat, “He was really cool, my dad. At least from what I can remember. He would always take me out wherever he went, the store, to work, to the city. Or play sports with me, y’know, typical dad stuff. Anywhere he went, I went and anything he did, we did together. He was like, my biggest fan, in everything that I did and supported me with everything. And then one day he was gone. At that age, I didn’t understand, couldn’t even begin to understand the severity of his sickness. Honestly, I don’t even think I really knew he was sick. I just saw him as my dad, who would always be there for me. I was too young to think about the idea of him being gone until he was.”

His lips part and for a split second, Wonwoo thinks he might cry. But then Mingyu composes himself with a shaky breath, “I… I just wish he were there to see me grow up. Graduate high school, go to college, scold me for the first night I came home drunk or high or whatever. There were so many things I wish he could’ve experienced with me and people I wish he met. So many things I wish I got to say to him before he was gone. I don’t even know if I would’ve made him proud, and the fact that I will never know that just… it sucks,” he finishes in a small voice. His eyes are downcast to his feet, looking fragile, exposed. 

Wonwoo immediately takes one step closer to Mingyu’s figure and wraps his arms around his shoulders, bringing him in for an embrace. They’re standing on uneven ground, so Wonwoo kind of has to stand on his tip toes, but he doesn’t care. He can hear Mingyu sniffling a bit and though he may not actually understand the pain on the same level as Mingyu, it still hurts him, creeps against his soul and shakes his bones. 

“I’m so sorry Mingyu,” he whispers softly, then pulls away to face the other, “really. And he would’ve been proud of you. So, so proud. You… are so amazing and you don’t even know it. So at the very least, believe me when I say it.”

Mingyu has an appreciative look on his face when he lifts his face up, his eyes glistening and smile looking less sad than before. 

Quietly, he responds, “Thank you, Wonwoo. I… I, uh, I’m sorry, I don’t really talk much about him like that. Or talk about him at all. It just kinda came over me.”

He rubs his arm down until he reaches his hand, then squeezes it, “You don’t have to apologize. Remember, that night at the beach? When I said some days are easier than others, some aren’t so much? Well, I’m always here for you for when those days come. Or even if they don’t come. I’m here for you all of the days, I guess, is what I’m trying to say.” 

It comes off a tad bit awkward, but he gets the message across and Mingyu looks at him with crystal clear eyes and a sheepish smile. He bites his lip shyly, and nods his head, whispering another thank you. 

Mingyu’s the one that squeezes Wonwoo’s hand this time before letting go, and right then and there Wonwoo engraves into every crevice of his mind to abide by those words. 

**

In typical Mingyu and Wonwoo fashion, they talk endlessly about anything and everything, never running out of words to say because Mingyu always makes up conversation and Wonwoo always has responses. It’s a nice contrast, however, when it’s a quarter past 7pm and they decide to sit down by the water, away from the mob, to watch the sky slowly change colors. The noise of all the festivities going on not too far from where they sit fade into the background. The corners of Wonwoo’s lips turn upward as he watches Mingyu bite into his lemon popsicle, wincing at the coldness of it—or maybe it’s because the sour taste? They both bury their feet deep into the coolness of the sand like little kids. 

"It always comforts me to be by the ocean," Mingyu starts with no prelude. 

Wonwoo chuckles,  "Really? Why's that?"

"Well," he folds his arms over his tanned knees and Wonwoo sees a calmness wash over his features, "the ocean is so big. It reminds me of how small we are, in comparison to the universe. Isn't that kind of comforting?"

A feeling of simple contentment and gratitude fills his soul knowing there is another person on this planet that thinks the way he does.

"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean," he speaks barely above a whisper. And then they sit in silence. 

It’s during this quietude, Wonwoo thinks. Thinks specifically about the way the sun sets, so subtle, so quiet—like it’s a secret almost. If you weren’t really paying attention, you’d miss all the different hues, saturations. The way a sunset looks at 7:28pm is different than how it looks at 7:30pm—the difference two minutes can make is quite extraordinary really.

And maybe… just maybe, that’s how he’d come to fall for Mingyu. It wasn’t drastic. There were no bells ringing or fireworks setting off in his head. It was small, he was slowly, ever so slowly, just like how the sun comes down, giving his heart away to this boy. And over the simplest reasons, no less. As in, the way he laughs over ridiculous jokes, or the way his eyes shine brighter than any galaxy discovered by the human race, or the way he passionately devotes himself to his work, the way he can barely stay up past midnight but does it because Wonwoo is awake until 3 in the morning, the way he _bakes his favorite cookies even when he’s upset with him_. Every moment he’s spent with Mingyu this summer has led up to this very moment, this very realization. It’s as if he’s accumulated all his emotions into his bare hands until it spelled out a clear answer for him. 

Wonwoo’s in love with him. 

It knocks the breath out of him. He doesn’t care how cliche it is, he could be the King of Cliche if that’s what this love entails. He wants to spend every sunset, every sunrise, every change of the sky with him, because now it reminds Wonwoo of how he fell for him. Gradual. Almost like… when you just want to yell at the sun to hurry as it’s coming down the horizon, because you want to see the view already. But if you rush it, then you just might miss it. Wonwoo appreciates the slowness, basks in every minute of it. 

He’s always imagined being in love feeling something akin to the feeling in your stomach when you reach that first drop in a rollercoaster, a sort of thrill that’s exhilarating, scary almost. Nearly everything he had read about love felt so… grandiose. He didn’t know it’d feel this comfortable, however, so pleasant and secure—like coming home and snuggling into bed after a long day. 

God, his heart feels so full, yet so light. And he might just want to cry.

The waves soon break him out of his rather deep rumination, as they now reach dangerously close to their feet. Mingyu squeals, his toes squirming at the kiss of cold water his feet receive. He jumps closer to Wonwoo’s side, not that his side is any more susceptible to stay dry, but Wonwoo welcomes him. 

He opens his mouth to say something, but then a loud, booming voice is bursting through the speakers on the main stage nearby.

“Alright everyone, in about fifteen minutes we’re gonna get this show on the road, so get your lanterns out and find a torch!” The shrill voice announces, and there’s a chorus of excited claps and hollers that follows as everyone begins flocking to the center of the beach. 

“I guess that’s our cue,” Mingyu claps his hands together, using them to propel himself to standing position. He dusts off the sand stuck on his palms onto his shorts and then helps Wonwoo up. Realistically, he doesn’t need the assistance, but who is he to deny any occasion to hold hands with Mingyu?

The tiki torches systematically staked around the beach are being lit by volunteers, one by one, each burning a flame that soon lights the beach. Wonwoo can practically feel the bubbling excitement in the air as the clock ticks closer and closer to 8:45, the designated time the lanterns are set to flight. 

When Wonwoo and Mingyu find a close by torch, Wonwoo holds the lantern up to eye level and notices the difference in theirs to, well… everyone else’s.

“We didn’t have time to design it,” he says as his lips form into a pout. 

Mingyu looks down at the watch on his wrist, “It looks like we still have… approximately six minutes until they’re scheduled to go up. And,” he pulls a black Sharpie out of his pocket, “would you look at that! I have a pen right here.”

Wonwoo can’t believe this guy sometimes. He shakes his head, chuckling, both in disbelief and endearment as Mingyu takes the lantern from his hands.

“I kinda have an idea,” he tells him with glimmering eyes, uncapping the Sharpie and resting the cap between his lips. 

“Nothing ridiculous I hope,” Wonwoo jests, although he wouldn’t mind ridiculous, not if it’s Mingyu. But the younger makes no comment, his lips only curl while he scrawls something onto the rice paper. 

As he does so, Wonwoo glances around. Similarly to them, some people are hurriedly writing or drawing something onto their lantern, giggling amongst their friends or family. Some others are piling onto small boats, rowing out into the sea to watch the show from there. Wonwoo thinks he sees Minghao and Jun, hand in hand, getting into a canoe not too far away from them.

“All done!” Mingyu exclaims, then twirls the lantern so that his work faces Wonwoo. And maybe there are some words coming out of Mingyu’s mouth after that, though Wonwoo really can’t seem to focus on what he’s saying, not when staring back at him is just about the most romantic line in all of literature. 

Inside an almost symmetrical oval, in a neat handwriting uncharacteristic of Mingyu, reads the following: 

_Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same_. 

Wonwoo immediately recognizes the quote from _Wuthering Heights_ , and if his heartstrings weren’t already being pulled in all different directions, well now they most _certainly_ are. He can’t believe this boy is real. 

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” Mingyu says, slowly, afraid he’s done something wrong. 

“That… that’s, uh, my favorite line from the book,” Wonwoo tells the other in a quiet voice, trying and failing not to sound so wretchedly enamored. 

“Of course it is,” Mingyu laughs softly, because he knows the older is a hopeless romantic despite popular belief, “It’s mine, too.”

A smile flickers across Wonwoo’s face at Mingyu’s comment, his only way to respond to something that makes his insides flutter uncontrollably and make the universe around him feel so warm and safe. 

They turn to the torch, and once the fuel block meets the fire, a light illuminates from the inside of their lantern and it’s just very… euphoric being here, where he is with the sand around his feet and Mingyu right by his side. Everyone around them is counting down enthusiastically until the clock hits 8:45 exactly, and he can practically feel the eagerness radiating off Mingyu as they draw closer and closer.

“ _One!_ ” 

And then the lights are cast up into the sky, each one slowly and gradually making it’s way up there to join the stars; or set afloat into the ocean so that the moon isn’t the only light reflecting off the water. They both release their lantern together, and watch it fly amongst the others until it gets lost amongst the hundreds and hundreds soaring above. The lights move at a slow pace up and up, and it’s breathtaking against the dark of the night. The sight is like nothing Wonwoo has seen before, he can’t help but watch in awe at how magical it all is. They weren’t kidding when they said it was an experience like no other, it felt like a dream. The gleaming lanterns, the people rejoicing around them—the tears, the laughs and it just… hits him.

He looks at Mingyu dazedly, like he’s made of everything pure in the world, because he probably is. The younger has his eyes fixated on the sight of the night sky, a grin plastered on his face. And he looks so happy, he’s practically _sparkling_. 

And Wonwoo is so, so painfully in love it’s almost unfair.

What he does next is impulsive, unlike him. Wonwoo is the type of person who carefully constructs the words he wants to say, or he simply won’t speak at all. He’s the type of person who typically thinks before he acts, always ensures the consequence is optimal for both sides. However, with Mingyu, logic is hardly even a factor into anything he does. Though somehow, he’s becoming more and more okay with that. 

Wonwoo desperately pulls Mingyu by his shirt and kisses him. It doesn’t take long for the other to reciprocate, gently slotting his hands on the sides of Wonwoo’s waist as the older clings onto him like letting go is not even an option. Nothing else _matters_ at this point, not the hundreds of people that surround them, or Wonwoo’s phone buzzing in his pocket, or the tears he feels welling up inside him because it’s all too overwhelming. Mingyu brings his soft fingers to stroke at the back of Wonwoo’s hair. And then he dares to _smile_ into the kiss, followed by a breathless laugh. It reminds Wonwoo of how good everything is, so he does the same and then the taller brings his honeyed lips to his once more. Not that he’s kissed Mingyu all that much, this marks the second—third?—time, but Wonwoo already has it up there on his top five favorite feelings in the world. It may even be better than starting a new book. 

Eventually they pull away simultaneously. Wonwoo’s eyes flutter open just as Mingyu is brushing his thumb over the highest cheekbone of his face, then dropping his hand by his side. 

“What was that for?” He asks, and there’s still lanterns being lifted into the skies behind him from other parties of people. Mingyu still outshines them all. 

Wonwoo merely shrugs, his lips curling even more, “Just wanted to, I guess.”

Mingyu has no issue whatsoever with it, in fact he guffaws at his answer. He moves his hand closer to Wonwoo’s own until he’s gently holding his thumb. Then slower, he interlocks their fingers together, and then he’s looking towards the sky again. At the lights, and the stars, at the moon, and everything else above them. The scent of wood smoke and ocean lingers in the air, but all Wonwoo inhales is Mingyu’s scent, taking in everything there is about him. He finds comfort in this, in having the whole night ahead of them even if it’s just like this, standing with their feet planted onto the beach staring up at the sky. 

Just him, and Mingyu, and all the lights above. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUE ME, i've been reading too much romance and watching too many disney movies. had a lot of fun writing this chapter and hope you guys enjoyed it too!! comment ur favorite bit, i love reading ur thoughts! 
> 
> also it's coming to an end and i can't believe it :(


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